hafacenturyncounting

Motivated by a lack of material.

18 May 2011
4 Comments

Giving Em The Business

Expectations of professionalism and quality are my first thoughts. Dropped like a hot potato; one of my oldest reliable clients told me that my services were going to be cancelled. She said immediately,” It was nothing we did, that they(she and her husband) were trying to cut expenses.”‘ She went on to say that she/they would like to periodically use us and how would she go about doing this. I explained the procedure, but I was still in the beginning of the conversation. No matter what she said my mind asked over and over “What just happened here?”, because I did not see this coming. I did not have an opportunity to suggest an alternative plan, because it seemed to me her mind was made up. I did not want to be invasive, but I would be lying if I said I took her entirely at “face value”.

Losing this client brought to light that I had violated something I vowed I would not do in my business practices, I got personally involved.  I felt like I lost a friend along with that revenue. I was damaged, hurt, and insulted. Observing what I believed to be a very southern practice; over and over I witnessed individuals insinuating themselves into the lives of people who they wanted to do work,  people they wanted to work for, and/or people they wanted provide services to or obtain services from. It seemed to me that in their minds, if you were friends “we” could conduct business and if “I” need to do something outside the realm of business (such as hold a check for payment repeatedly) it was somehow more acceptable. No matter this was a ploy or disingenuous.

I never really thought much of the two week notice practice. I felt like an employer asks for what they are unwilling to provide circumstances reversed. After all they do not tell you they are letting you go in two weeks when they terminate you. I also had seen the way employees were treated when they gave that required expected notification. Now I am forced to rethink that position. I  suppose it may have been better if my former client gave me an advanced notification such as; after the next visit we are cancelling in opposed to I am cancelling service. Realistically, speaking she treated me like I was just someone who worked for her. News Flash, that is exactly who I am!

Questions arose; did I do or not do something right, are they really having financial issues. Honestly, the only real concern I should have had was, if our work performance and work ethic were stable and intact . If I could give an affirmative response to those questions, I would have done what is required and expected of me as a business owner and service  provider. Truth is clients/customers/business contacts enter and depart from you and your business. They are as any other individual because at the root they are just people: here for a reason or for a season.

However, it is just business, and I must bounce back and recover. For future references though, I will keep the thought of NOT getting personally involved with my customers/clients in the forefront. I must continue to try to do what I would tell you I currently do; Treat people/clients/customers the way I want to be treated.

Posted in As Consumers
18 May 2011

Returns And Replays

The hauntings of our past sometimes call out to us. On a quite afternoon when you don’t have anything in particular to do, will you find yourself trying to make busy in order to avoid the reality of a time gone by slipping or even forcing its way into your psyche.

All I wanted to do was take a quiet little nap, a nocturnal rest had evaded me the previous Friday. I put on some soft jazz from the late seventies and then I was transported back.  My dog wasn’t barking, the cats weren’t meowing, because they were not there in a decade of my youth. In present day I watched the leaves on trees in my backyard rustle in the wind, but in my mind I felt the ocean breeze of Redondo Beach on my face. How I wanted to be able to return to that time and space. Only for a little while, though.

In the midst of this all, I got an e-mail. Remember the fledgling stages of this necessity of today? My former employer has been made quite obsolete because of it. Without being personal I have to say, the cosmos will interrupt your life on occasions and take you somewhere before you realize you should be not be there.

Where are we returning to or are we simply trying to escape? The current headlines are of chaos and gossip. What are we coming to? It was so different way back when. It wasn’t really that different, our priorities were different and information wasn’t as readily available. It seemed that we had stronger, better values. Therefore, we can now claim it was better then. With the soundtracks of that time, the era seems a lot better. Today we have to live life without the benefit of those sounds, sounds that memory adds and makes it all seem surreal. In the now we have to operate without commercial interruptions, and we come face to face with the fact we need a break from real from time to time.

Looking back allows us to  reminisce and reflect, but if we continue in that mode we could easily run into something we might have avoided had we been looking ahead. Spend a  little time with those special thoughts of things gone by and then give equal time to making plans for times to come.

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18 May 2011

It’s Just The Principle

Wow, what does that statement really mean to you? I want this one to make you laugh a little and NOT take yourself so seriously. Come with me for a visit to an internet social community, specifically, my Facebook account.

If you have an account with Facebook or a similar website you can probably relate. Let me first say, I enjoy it. When I first signed on almost two years ago, it was simply something to do and I can say it is still just that today. It has evolved though.

My early dealings, was at obsession level. I had a complete ball on this site. I ran into a number of people from my past, I reconnected with family. The great thing was the ability to control connections. If you saw someone you knew and wanted to be in touch with you had the option of requesting friendship, just like if you found someone you knew and did not necessarily want to be in contact with you could simply move on. People from “outer-cyberspace” were requesting friendships, I was selective in accepting these unknowns. I applied what I felt were the proper filters  and went from there. I avoided what I deemed to be “collectors” and I have kept my “friend” list to a small semi-intimate group of people that I regularly interact with, at the very least I/we say Hi, Happy Birthday, etc. to one another.

I laugh as I recall my friends speak about their first connections; after all this is a vehicle of our children, we just hopped in and rode anyway. I have become reacquainted with people who were so young the last time I saw them, my memory of them could more closely linked to the offspring of my own children. There have been the numerous privacy irregularities we have navigated through and pointless entertaining games. People have deactivated their accounts for one reason or the other, sometimes permanently other times to clear their heads and manage their free time better. Overall, Facebook has been a positive experience.

Now no piece would be complete without a visit to the dark side and trust me this is minuscule, but today I lost a” friend” on Facebook. I cannot tell you why, I don’t know what I did or even if I did anything. I have to say this “friend” was initially treated the same as all of my other Facebook “friends”. However, through deed and lack of contact this person had been placed in a status where there was very limited contact available. No pictures were accessible, there was no ability to comment on my posts or even to see my posts, my profile was visible as I make it for the unknowns in the Facebook world and I did not allow the posts of this same individual to be seen on my wall.  Today I discovered that I not only had been deleted as this person’s friend but had been blocked! My first thought was , “The nerve…” and there were other superlatives involved.

As ridiculous as this may seem, even to me, it was simply the principle of it. For all intent and purpose I had deleted this individual, yet when an overt act denied me the ability to do the very same thing I felt insulted and disrespected. I searched for an explanation and there is an easy one; for whatever my former “friends” true motive(s), a position was taken and a stand was made. I cannot say a lot positive about this person’s character accept the obvious, my former “friend” was not indecisive and did exactly what I should have done over a year and a half ago with absolution.  Instead I hesitated.

For future references don’t wait for things to happen because they will. If you feel strongly enough about something that you make semi-aggressive moves, be what you are dancing around. If it is just the principle stand by that principle.

Posted in Order of Appearance | Leave a comment
18 May 2011

What You’re Sayin With Your Drivin

Living in the Metro Atlanta area when I drive my mind is strictly on driving. Where I am going, what time I need to be there, and most importantly, what the other drivers around me are doing. When we first moved to Atlanta over 17 years ago I was amazed at how TERRIBLY people drove, and I am sad to say things have only gotten worse.

Behind the wheel of a car, it seems people are busy doing everything but the task at hand. Young people playing their music far too loud, older people driving in a semi-conscious state.. then out of the blue we return to the place we should be in behind the wheel of a car. Our consciousness hasn’t had time to catch up with our physical being. As we travel along we encounter several road hazards; none of them identified, none of them give you forewarning, but out there with you just the same. How do you hope to get where you are going much less survive, when you have a driver so close on your bumper, that you can have a conversation with them, or the one who speeds past you only to pull right in front of you when the lane they are in is clear. How about that sensitive driver who is so busy being nice that they obstruct traffic. I could go on and on however, I must pay homage to the ones who are the most dangerous of all and the ones who inspired me to once again talk to and about. They are the multi-taskers.

Let me say this there are somethings that require our undivided attention; driving down the highway or navigating the busy city streets just happen to “fit that bill”.

The child safety industry has recognized this, thus the rear facing car seats that require you to stop, pull over, etc. if you must attend to your child while they are restrained in the unit. The cell phone industry with the invention of the bluetooth said to us, you cannot hold the phone, talk, and drive.They could have gone just a little farther with this concept and said it is difficult to truly give driving your undivided attention if you are talking PERIOD.

I know this tugs at a multitude of you but let’s be real/ examine yourselves; do you use your hands when you talk, are gestures a part of your communication? If you answered “yes” then you have to accept the following; no matter how long you have driven, no matter how good you think you are at driving and doing other things, YOU ARE AN ACCIDENT WAITING TO HAPPEN AND YOUR SCHEDULE IS TIGHT!

The article I wrote several years ago for the Atlanta Journal Constitution was from a first person driver standpoint, now I am a passenger more often than not. I am a daily critic of someone else’s driving and interacting behind the wheel. I witness a very skilled arrogant aggressive driver who has in turn made me a more aware motorist. I am not viewed as a very good driver by this same individual; I can point out things like I was professionally trained and required to take annual refresher courses in defensive driving, but that still would not change the way my husband views my driving.

Therefore, as always these pieces are subjective. I hope they entertain the reader and make you think. As an observer I see that we are using numerous excuses for a series of bad practices. Today’s drivers say and demonstrate the following:  My overly sensitive motorist helping another get into traffic is saying, ” I am so afraid to drive, if I let enough folks go by maybe I’ll get the road to myself”. My arrogant-aggressive driver says, ” Get out of my way I have some place to go/something to do even if you don’t!” My multi-tasker ” There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do what I need to do, so I will have to catch up on the road.” My dancing partying teen is saying ,” OOOH LOOK AT ME!! NO HANDS!”

What are you saying and what are you doing when you are behind the wheel?

Posted in As Consumers | Leave a comment
14 May 2011
2 Comments

Warm Cookies and Milk

I grew up with fine cooks in my life; my maternal grandmother was a wonderful cook, my eldest aunt on my father’s side was the ultimate cook, and then there is my Mom. It is unfortunate that cooking now isn’t as important as it was when we were growing up. Busy schedules and the availability of fast food has turned it into a somewhat lost art. Come back with me into the kitchen; climb up onto the stool and see that beloved individual in your life create and/or teach you one of the fine foods that will for years to come, bring back memories that can and will be ignited by a fleeting thought.

Sunlight filtered into my bedroom and the aroma crept up. At first I simply rolled over, then my eyes opened and I sat straight up. In a semi-trance I made my way to the kitchen. Ahhh fresh rolls. My maternal grandmother made the best little bite sized rolls you could imagine. I remember helping her, but I never quite got the hang of it. Instead I am happy to be the cake baker of the family.

As amazing as it is, we don’t really think about how smells, fragrances, aromas act as a time machine for us. I realize it only because I am so far away from the familiar terrain I grew up in and around.  I didn’t know where this was going when my friend told me a story and sparked the writing bug. The title came fast and the rest just lingered on with nothing really inspired to talk about.  It was, after all, her memory and she relayed the story so well. I was trying to gather something from a similar experience, so that I could do her memory justice . Perhaps that was my mistake I was trying too hard.  I could not do her story justice because it was her story, and even though she gave it to me as a starting point it still belonged to her. I cannot touch the feeling she relayed to me from her mind’s eye. I just know I was right there in the room with my friend and her mother tasting those cookies.

Then I saw a photograph of another friend from childhood with her beautiful little granddaughters on the playground. The baby was bundled up, her big sister looking on showing off baby sister, and my friend glowing with pride. I could smell the cool, dew drenched Southern California mornings. I felt the chill in the air and I went back to grandma’s kitchen.  I saw her cutting out the little delicacies and I tasted the buttery delight of them. This segued to my first mornings with my new baby sons, decades flew past like the pages of a book in a mild breeze. Then I knew my warm cookies and milk memory was simply my family, my friends, and their faces. Ignited by one sense, but crescendoed by another.

Posted in Order of Appearance
14 May 2011
2 Comments

VI-haftasaysomethin

Today I had to do something I did not want to do but I had to. Through the years we all have had this type of experience(doing something you didn’t want to), and more than likely this has happened more than once.

My boy, as I liked to think of him, was born January 1, 1999. He came as  a surprise to me 3 years later, because I  never thought I would own another cat after my loss 12 years earlier. There he was sitting the cage at Petsmart waiting to be adopted. He had beautiful blue eyes and a gray fluffy coat. He was by breed a “Ragdoll”.  I re-named him , but as all things that concerned him, he never warmed up to his name or me for that matter. I can only imagine what his early life was. I know it wasn’t good, but I know we tried to give him a good home and we tried to do this for 9 years.

Today I let him go. I am sad for the loss of life, but I am not sad for him. I think he is worth mentioning because,  I believe there are situations where we put all of our energy in to and get no return. I was very convinced and comfortable with my decision. As a pet lover, I have had to make the unselfish  choice to let go before and it hurt. This was so different and I learned  about being more responsible when it comes to a life. I think I should have left Storm alone. I tried to fill a void with another individual and it did not work. I can tell myself that I gave him something better than he had, but if he didn’t want it was it really better?

Anyone other than a pet lover may find this odd. I hope the pet lovers understand and take a bit of heed, because we are generally good-hearted folks. This is just a demonstration of how we can lose track of what is really important. I now believe I would have better served Storm by giving a cash contribution to his foster parent and moving on.  I changed his environment, I changed his name, but I didn’t change him.  I did this convinced this would make him happy and subsequently me happy.

Not all of our projects or endeavors will be a success, and today I have to live with that reality.  I did not give all of this thought the day I adopted him and I wish I would have. Today I have to live with a farewell and on that note I haftasaysomthin; his name was Toby before he knew me. Peace be with you Toby.

Posted in Hafwaythroughpoints and tagged , , , , , ,
09 May 2011

Time Sensitive

I cannot say I pay attention to  all expiration dates. I am selective even arrogant in my thinking when it comes to this. These are very immediate thoughts, because after all I do not have time for… Yet time does not always overcome all obstacles. Our feelings can defy time, emotions don’t always calm down and settle. Now you have to o to a place you thought you would never see again, and you don’t really know how to act because you don’t know how you really feel.

Like a smile that comes via special delivery and it is aimed directly at your heart. It is welcomed and seems as though it was never out of your presence. Then there is the pain of a trampled upon ego, and unfortunately it is just as precise. How are we  able to pick right back up where we left off?

As we move on in our life journey, the side trips can baffle us. Being visited by the stranger or long lost friend known as memory that takes you back to a territory you should be familiar with but you oddly aren’t,  oftentimes jars your very being. It is confusing. While my mind says one thing and my body may slightly agree, who in the world is that individual looking back at me in the mirror.

What do we expect of our life experiences? The time we spend with one another is etched in our psyche. Stored in a recess that seems far away, until there is a tap on your shoulder, a phone call or a chance meeting. Because time has passed does not constitute an expiration of feelings. Remember these things are being stored so there is going to be a level of preservation. We don’t have the ability to select how much will be stored, where  exactly it will be stored, or what will trigger it resurfacing. Don’t be surprised if one day you are propelled unexpectedly into a place you thought you had long since forgotten, it will be your reminder that the particular matter you are encountering is still quite potent.

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07 May 2011
1 Comment

You Hurt My Feelings and I AM MAD!

What gives someone the right to do this to you? Sometimes it is intentional, sometimes it is not. If the first occurs you have “Carte Blanc” in your dealings with them. However, what about the other? How do you address your feelings when it is very possible the perpetrator has no idea about what they have done.

This was an easy one for me of sorts, because  at the time I started I was in that state.  I wanted to cuss and cry at the same time. It seems as though I am experiencing this more than I care to of late.  I look to self first, am I being just too sensitive? Is it the other way around?

In dealing with hurt feelings you have to guard against perhaps putting other issues in where they normally would not enter.  Anger often enters and it truly distorts vantage points. Dealing with one wound you are already sensitive, it is understandable why another one could easily happen. If you slow down, don’t react immediately, and give yourself a chance to really look at what is going on, you may just find the answer you were searching for.

I was quite motivated when I began this piece, but fortunately I did what I am suggesting. Otherwise I cannot say, nor imagine what may have been written here. Sometimes we want to be the victim, sometimes we want to be damaged, it gives us an excuse for our behavior. One must note having what is deemed as an excuse does not always justify ones actions. I suggest you tread lightly because you are not immune to these same feelings, the pain and heartache you save may be your own.

Posted in Order of Appearance
07 May 2011
3 Comments

Our Favorite Girl

Momma, Mother, Mommy, or Mom she is simply AMAZING. She is life influence personified.

I am grateful for every day the good Lord gives me to share with mine. Distance has been difficult for me, but I talk to her daily. Thank you technology and air travel.

She is the first real friend you ever have. Everything she does takes on a magical, mystifying air. I think the truly ironic thing about her is that each mother’s child believes and sees the most beautiful, smart, sweet, special, loving being on this Earth. No one can cook,  no one can solve problems, or fix a hurt like she can. It doesn’t matter how old or young we are, her mere presence makes us feel secure. We know if she is here or even near by there is hope. Talk about a “Super-Hero”.

Even if she is no longer occupying this space with us we can  have solace knowing she loved us and she resides in our hearts forever to give us the strength to go on.

Kiss her if you can, loves her the best way you are able to,  and cherish the fact that you were  blessed to have had her in your life, because you should.

Posted in Epiphany and tagged , , , , ,
30 Apr 2011

End:Closures

Sometimes things have to end badly or they wouldn’t end… I cannot remember when or where I first heard that, but I think there is a great deal of truth to that statement.

We want the ride to be longer, the concert to have one more song, our vacation to last just one more day….I think of a movie that I am particularly fond of “Groundhog Day”. Whether the main character wanted the day to end or not, it just wouldn’t. The writers played with that situation well; first the disbelief, then the need to escape, followed by the need to control things. The character found a way to capitalize off of his predicament, but what did he really learn.

The natural order of things dictates a beginning, a middle, and an end. When it is good we don’t want it to end , but when it is what we deem to be bad we can hardly wait for it to be over. Honestly, everything is going to end and a stopping point is very important.

It seems the television media learned all of this regarding “ends” first. Can you recall how series used to go on and on until the ratings fell off and the network was forced to pull the plug? Now when a series is created there are or at least seem to be set time periods. Even if it is a success, the series has been predetermined to run “x” amount of years. This make sense kids grow up on television, people move in and out of lives. If television is to mirror life it has to be realistic on some vein.

I am reminded of a song, “Stop To Start” by Blue Magic.  At every end awaits a new beginning. We look forward to that beginning but the end…. not normally the case. Circumstance always weighs in heavily of course. Comfort levels, decorum, and tact have to be of concern. Sometimes our attempts to soften blows backfire and explode in our faces. I suggest that you seek balance.

Therefore in those time of uncomfortable “ends” or your desperately sought after “closures” reflect upon this.  Just as I am reminded of church and scripture here in this piece, not planned simply appropriate. John 16:33 It is in regards to our relationship with God and our dealings in life. It speaks of how the Lord never promised us that life would be easy, but only that He would never leave us alone. I feel confident that surviving a mere phase or cycle that is part of life, can be dealt with gracefully.

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