hafacenturyncounting

Motivated by a lack of material.

Archive for the month “October, 2019”

I Just Forgot To Swallow

Okay how much more insane can I be before I need 24 hour care? I sat there in front of the computer, and tried to do what was the right thing and take in my designated amount of water. Suddenly it was all over me, the desk, but fortunately not the computer.

I looked around for the culprit who had showered me with water from MY water bottle, which was securely in MY hand. There was no one. Still I was in disbelief. I was drenched and pretty-much gasping for breath. Suddenly it was clear what had just happened. I remembered unscrewing the top, I recalled putting the bottle to my mouth..then everything went wrong. The water was in my mouth pouring down my throat but something was not operating as it should be. It plunged down my throat in managed to go everywhere it should not go and completely avoid my esophagus.

If you have ever strangled you can imagine the panic I was stricken with for seconds that seemed to go on forever. Finally, I contained myself, and began to breathe normally. I wanted to ACTUALLY take a sip of water, but was reluctant. I wondered for a split second if I knew what to do with it now. I did what my granddaughter would say, faced my fear. I managed to do it right this time. I laughingly think about how that event happened and realized we can never take anything for granted.

60

HappyBirthdayToMe. For longer than I can remember, October 4th has signaled my entry into this world. For the times I can remember I have anticipated, been elated, been surprised and yes sometimes disappointed by the arrival of this day.

However, I love October 4th we have a long standing love-affair. We only see one another once a year, but I am still glad to see the day. I am a child of Autumn. Living in the south has brought meaning back to that. The return of the cooler temperatures, the colors of  red and orange and gold and brown fitting together in a harmonious pattern. The fragrances of cinnamon, apples, pumpkins signal the gateway to the holidays is rapidly approaching.

Where does that leave me? When I started this blog a DECADE ago, I did not think about this year. I was dealing what was right in front of me. I told myself, “Well 50 isn’t so bad. I am not in too terrible of shape.” Getting older may NOT be as bad as it appears, in the media or in real life. Truthfully, it was alright. I was approaching retirement, my first grandchild was on her way, and I decided no more rinsing the gray away!

A decade later, hair is as natural as can be no chemical and no color, my granddaughter is on her way to celebrating her first decade of this life and my retirement..well I have CHOSEN NOT to quit work. At least not just yet.

Things I have written about, adjusting, decision making, taking oneself too serious have a different look 10 years later. I can look back 5 years and see an astounding change in what my entire life looks like, I can look back a year and feel the overwhelming affects of  some of those same changes. As I strive to do what I believe will work for me..Living In The Now, I cautiously glance back at what I will leave behind as I navigate through this thing called LIFE. It PAINS me to abandon the familiar, if only for a moment. In my heart I know I will NEVER completely do this but I also know in order to go on, I must separate myself from the past, my past. It is  NOT easy.

Loss and abandonment; ones/things we MUST leave behind, ones/things we have chosen to leave behind. So many changes that it is hard to keep up with and digest. Lets face it if we don’t keep up we become less and less relevant, then we are easier to forget. The OTHERS start to put us in the background because they see us moving in that direction. We slow down LIFE continues at IT’S pace.

60 when thought of in mph is NOT exactly slow; so I am having to remind myself I MUST put forth more effort now, just to keep up. This year when I close my eyes to blow out the candles can you guess what my wish will be?

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