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Archive for the tag “honesty”

Old People and Getting Into Heaven?

More and more you see them, Bill Cosby(I know he is somewhat taboo these days but he is a point-of-reference..look up the routine) joked about them in a stand-up routine decades ago. He said,” That is NOT the person I grew up with!” Faces fixed with a seemingly genuine smile, talking to random strangers, and adoring the babies..all babies.  These kindly elderly folk will be given all the sweet consideration you have within.  Then there are the OTHERS, the ones who seemingly DEMAND respect but are ugly and disrespectful. The very same ones who at one time told a young person how “they” must respect their elders. Do you ever wonder who these people are and who they were in their past/earlier lives?

ALL of these folks were once smooth skinned, silken haired, athletic and energized. They were the “go-getters”. Now they are captured by the worn, broken and damaged vessels; some flicker in and out of rational consciousness, but all are left to navigate the remainder of their lives in a condition they certainly did not select.

Funny, we never think about people’s condition beyond what is set directly before us. That is until we are faced with circumstances that force our hands. The elderly gentleman who appears to be homeless in our neighborhood asking for food..we never think he has a home of his own and people who love him waiting there. Yet, if we knew this we would likely wonder why he is doing what we perceive as begging. However, one must be careful there is likely an explanation that reaches far beyond what we have time to examine as we rush to work.

What do you say when the well dressed older lady approaches you, as you sit in the park, and proceeds to curse you for no apparent reason. How can you know she has been a widow for 30 years, today is the anniversary of her husband’s death, and you look quite a bit like the doctor who told her her beloved mate was gone.

You may think the solution is to spend more time with them, or their loved ones should keep them under control. Do you realize these people still have some control and wills of their own? Do you realize that none of us can help anyone who does not want or will not accept that same help? I think these same folks feel “themselves slipping away”, away to a place where they do not know what to expect, and they are afraid. A feeling that they probably have not had, in an overt sense, for many years.

Faith is challenged each and every day; where is their faith now, where will yours be when YOU are faced with this from someone you love. They look and sound like your loved one, but many times the one YOU knew is not consciously in the present with you. Now YOU must pray, not only for them but yourself as well.

As our time continues to move forward, as we forget names and dates I wonder how we will react. I suggest you be kind and understanding when you meet these people, any of them. Perhaps the ones trying to gain entrance into Heaven may actually be us;  by what we do we are determining our fate and we may be occupying a similar “place” in the near future. How do you want to be dealt with?

If I Knew Your Political View…

My son and I were discussing an actor( who will remain nameless because I do not care for this individual based on what I have read recently), he(my son) spoke of things which been said that had gotten passed me. In my mind I  tentatively added this performer to my list. Yes, my list of Don’t Like You/Your Political Views/Racially Insensitive Comments, Don’t Knowingly Support You/Your Product.

There is so much information available, I will never cease to be amazed by this. However, there are still only 24 hours in the day and between handling the necessities of life in some form of order one has to decide what all of the “other” things are important enough to take time out to research. Research IS necessary in order for one NOT to sound like a babbling idiot, because the very time you do not bother to research something and talk as though your opinion is KNOWLEDGE, you will get caught and called on it.

In regards to this actor, admittedly I have enjoyed his work in the past, I was not surprised though. I find that men who fit into his particular demographic are particularly displeasing to me. I feel the same way about the women as well. I remind myself HE IS A PERFORMER. What he has said/done is opinion driven and fueled by money. Designers, singers, dancers, artist, creative folk…liberal arts does not necessarily mean liberal- minded. I ask how can people who are my contemporaries be oceans apart from me, when we shared a very similar upbringings, same environments, locations, education and economics. I ask why? I see surface issues, but I also see the things that were clearly kept hidden.

I HATE the self-righteous battle cry/credo “do as I say not as I do”. Easy to feel that way once YOU have gotten the “crazy” out of YOUR system. Forget the idealism of youth, as wrinkles and back pain stare YOU in the face. Angry at the reflection, angry at the world..a world that hopefully will continue on long after you cease to. Where has YOUR hope gone?

I want to like you, in short let’s keep politics out of our budding friendship/relationship/entertainment choices as much as we possibly can.


I saw this on a team message board on my moonlighting job. That job needs  to be as inspirational and motivating as possible. I am grateful for it none-the-less. So after once again being human and flawed I am inspired to write about one of my many, many, many flubs. I hope it will help someone else and perhaps myself do what my title suggests, but that does not necessarily mean anyone will in fact have to change.

“Before you speak THINK

Is it True

Is it Helpful

Is it Inspiring

Is it Necessary

Is it Kind”

Imagine a society of political correctness; nothing out of order, no one offended, facts to the point concise and non controversial. Well it certainly would keep us from being offended, but would it truly keep us correct?

There are some things we need to know. They are not all pleasant. They may pierce a bit but if they are helpful, if we allow ourselves to gain something of value from them, we are better for that information and the surface hurt can be put aside. Remember “The Emperor’s New Clothes”?The  Emperor was so “wrapped up” in looking good he was easily deceived into believing almost anything, including invisible garments.

In our imaginary-politically-correct perfect society we are addressing being able to say something, anything that is not absolutely nice. Why is that? That is because even in the fantasy of perfection we cannot deny that which is real.  How can we exclude the need to be made aware of something that is not-so-nice? We realize that in process we would eliminate our ability to appreciate that which is nice.

Therefore, I encourage you to THINK before you speak, I encourage you to listen but THINK about what was said, and finally I say consider the source.

It’s The People

No matter how you approach it, no matter what time of day it is, there is always drama. What scenario in your life comes to mind? My suggestion to you would be run away from it, because the reality of it is this is outside your realm of control.

The minute you walk through the door you get a headache, you wake up and there is this sickening feeling is in  the pit of your stomach, no matter how you prepare for class you always seem lost; okay work, home, and school are all places we all can relate to but if you think of bad feelings first when you are there  you might want to consider the “people factor”.

What is a place four walls, a ceiling, a floor, and a door. Perhaps it is the great outdoors, with the majestic mountain views or a seascape which takes your breath away, how is it a place can make you feel any particular way? What about that human being sharing a space, with his or her bad attitude that can make the paint appear to be peeling from those very same walls or place storm clouds in your view. Homo sapiens, the top of the food chain but often the morals and ethics of the amoeba.

Today though I only left my house briefly, I had my fill of the people. This isn’t a fair statement for it was  not people in their entirety just a small cross-section, but a cross-section that invaded my space none-the-less, and they were not invited in nor were they welcome. I wanted to tell them, ” get out! go away!” However, the space they trespassed upon was in my mind.

In all honesty I enjoy people; they are beautiful,  fascinating, funny and interesting. Then there are..the others… the ones who cut you off ( in traffic, in the middle of a statement), the ones who play their incredibly annoying music too loud in the middle of the night, the ones who don’t do their work so it has a direct affect on what your workload is like, the ones who tell you “their kids would NEVER do anything wrong” and how could you question their integrity here considering the child came from parents who are rude-self-absorbed- 5150- pricks.

They are in the stores and coffee houses, they travel on the roads in cars and bikes, they are in the doctor’s office and in church . They look like you and me but they house a secret.

I will not tell you how I  truly feel; one should have to be challenged with a battery of psychological tests, apply to obtain a license, and if successful there, they must have a child before the expiration date of those same prerequisites. Then it may appear as though I am trying to run too many people’s lives. However, I do believe we are all boarder line crazy and for us to reproduce without making others aware, is just criminal. I live next door to a guy who upon meeting him you would say, ” Wow, it is tragic that the abortion failed”.

As I bring this piece to a close, I sit in my home listening to  a 40 year old man who lives in the basement of his mother’s house;  he is dirty, unshaven, has a sour disposition, and he is a hoarder. He is utilizing his weed blower to disturb me and my family any way he can, because I called the police  on him for blasting his music earlier in the day. I am further convinced I am right,” It is the People“.

Do You Have A Safe Place For A Secret

We think we keep these secret feelings and thoughts hidden. Tread lightly on these beliefs; the way you feel often is all over your face and you are thinking,”No one has any idea how I feel”.  I have found out on more than one occasion, my acting skills are limited. I think I make an honest effort to conceal contempt I have for certain individuals, but I know that my efforts aren’t always enough. Then I start questioning the sincerity of the effort. How hard do we really work at keeping things hidden?

Truth is difficult at times but just examine the complexities of what you believe started out as a “little-white-lie”. I do not believe we are being honest with ourselves when we pack things away so no one else can see them.

I visited this thought in relation to the animal kingdom. Dogs sometimes bury their bones, this happened more frequently when  our animals stayed outside; now they do like we do, if it is a toy they care a great deal about it is with them constantly, or put away in a closet, under a bed, etc. Your pet puts his “favorite” away for safe keeping so no one else can have it, yet when he feel the need for it, he goes and gets it from the hiding place and flaunts it right in front of you. One might say this is mimicked behavior and that is a possibility. One more example I will offer is the squirrel. I watched one in my yard running around and darting about one afternoon, it was strange because there was a large orange tabby laying in the bushes waiting for an opportunity.. After a bit he came up with an acorn. The little guy had hidden it away and was scrounging about trying to find it. He had no idea when he tucked it away for safe keeping he would be putting his life in danger when he went back. Rather symbolic here.

I submit to you that our secrets are sometimes little badges of honor, we keep them around to pull out at random times to relive something we no longer are privy to. This is defying their very existence, for a secret is something you keep hidden. What about it though, do you have letters, picture, notes, or emails hidden away? Is there a lock on your phone or a box somewhere, so certain information cannot be accessed by “anyone”.  Listen if you are not tech savvy you are fooling only one person, and as for the other aspect what happens if one of those items falls out of it’s secret hiding place?

Do we entertain consequence when we place these things in an out of the way location? What if we forget it like the little squirrel or chose to bring it out for attention or to tease like the dog?  How safe is your secret now?Does such a place exist anywhere? When do we begin to feel the need to hide things and to whose benefit is this practice? What is it that you are hiding in your secret place, and is it really safe?

Sorry To Disappoint You But…

I suppose I am not only confused, I am equally confusing.  If you have ever had your proverbial coattail pulled, you will be able to relate. You have to be able to bare your soul to those you call family and friends, but then the realization comes to you in an unexpected form, that maybe you need to keep a little of that soul covered for the sake of all concerned.

On this journey called life we encounter a vast variety of experiences that we sometimes have to come to grips with; we lived through them, but did not necessarily conquer them. The appearance of” being on top” for example can be deceiving and therefore gives off an illusion. You don’t mean to trick or fool those close to you, but they can easily be convinced of things merely because they want them to be true. Expectations are high, you don’t want to disappoint, but at some point in time you must face facts and so must those you are closest to.

Flawed, imperfect, weak, and devoid of solution you cower in your little corner waiting for someone to pick you up and carry you to safety, even if you have historically been the one doing the picking up. This now must be coupled with the knowledge your cries as well as your crisis went unnoticed. It is so difficult to carry so much and not complain. Honestly, it takes a lot to carry loads and complain. Understand as let down as you feel that”rock”, you thought you knew, is experiencing the backlash of what you feel and placing the additional burden upon themselves of “I should have been better“.

The problem with a “rock” is that the tough exterior is porous, this means the damage comes over time from something penetrating and seeping in. Conditions, just like climate, change and eventually the “rock” cracks; it is weakened now no longer able to withstand what it used to, finally  the crack will break the “rock”. Though it may take a long time and the outward appearance does not change much internal changes are taking place.

“Those things that do not kill us make us strong”. However, strong people get taken advantage of as much as the weak ones do.

All Us In Wander Land

There is tremendous stock placed in having a plan. Plan for  your future, plan for your business, plan for life. To succeed you must have a systematic map set in place. However, it doesn’t always go like that. We do not control all the other elements that may or may not affect our plans. What happens then when something gets in your way and alters the course of action/plan you derived? Better yet what happens when you don’t even have a plan.

Wandering aimlessly through life, you just may bump into something that will carry you  through to a meaningful existence. I do not by any means suggest this method, this is merely an observation. I can think of a time  or times when I really had no idea what to do next. What did I do? I improvised. Our society seems ill-equipped to handle surprises or to seek an alternate solution, because we are so busy looking for the easy way out. The fastest, simplest, least challenging way to obtain anything, that’s what we want. Oh but now it needs to be quality. Yes I am over simplifying this however, there are some truths hidden in this wit.

What to do when faced with a dilemma that you have no way to conquer. You do not have the knowledge you, do not have the resources. What you have is the awareness that you cannot see your way clear. You also may be painfully aware that you are tired of the battle. Children wish their problems away, adults face their problems; they have no choice, but oh how they wish for the child’s solution/escape clause. Draw upon that which you KNOW you have and see what you come up with, then maybe you will have some good solid advice to share with someone else wondering about, searching for a solution or purpose. Trust me on this, the answer is there you just have to discover it. Therefore, I’ll let you know how I make out.


We are here today to lay to rest this love. It was a love that was thought to be infinite and ever enduring. However over the years it has suffered miserably.

As it lays silently before you it is impossible to forget how vibrant it once was. Filled with fun, excitement, and passion.  You could not wait to be in this loves’ presence, and moments after you parted you missed it as though years had passed. The only thing that kept you going was anticipation of your next encounter. You recall cool moonlit nights, warm breezy afternoons, and early mornings with love that would take you through the day.

Then it began to fade;  the onset of its death was painful, but as time went on it became terribly predictable. At first it hurt, then it became routine, soon you couldn’t even tell whether or not any life was left. What was most tragic is when the finality of it all took place you didn’t feel a thing, not even a flutter. Now that is gone the most significant thing about it in your mind is that it is dead. Therefore, as you lay it to rest this day the kindest thing you can do is  to say “good-bye”.


How far should we take an obligation? What are the rules? The answers lie within I suppose. Speaking from experience I can tell you these feeling of responsibility are deep seeded, and can lead to years of complicated emotions. You  do grow tired after a while. What may have began as well meaning, can turn to resentment and regret.

There you sit with a self-prophesying reality and it is pretty amazing, or is it. You authored this contract, you made the terms and conditions. Face it you must live up to these things or back out and abandon them.

There are so many hard things to face when dealing with obligation; one thing one must explore and admit to is that there is a factor of care and concern. No individual who has not vested these things will bother living up to an obligation. There has to be something that is in it for them and it may not be anything simple. We may be hopeful that people have a sense of honor, but contracts give you a way out.  There is an escape clause. You do not have a long time to change your mind, but you do have an option.

The most significant characteristic of an obligation is a very simple basic thing; it is generally the right thing to do. Yet we all know that we do not always want to do the right thing. Sometimes we prefer to sit back and “let the chips fall where they may”; nice escape route and you can tell yourself that it wasn’t your fault, it just happened. Sometimes, we feel vindicated or justified in doing the wrong thing for the so-called right reasons. However, here is some truth for you  it is never the wrong decision to do the right thing.

One has to learn to live with oneself , when you get to where you can lie and deceive your very being, you will also find that you do not like yourself very much and would rather not be in this type of company. So tread lightly when it comes to obligations and do what is right, in the long run you will find yourself fulfilled. That in itself is invaluable.

A Boat Load Of Regrets

I short “No Regrets” was the comment I got from one of my readers. I loved the entire comment though. It is nice when people read you and have something  to say. This reader is a friend and on more than one occasion has inspired a piece or two. As a special note there are a number of my friends and family who get me to thinking, thus a blog appears. However, don’t look for yourself in my writing I value you far too much to put YOU specifically out here on the information highway without consulting or even warning you first. Remember the catch word here is INSPIRE.  Also “Boat” was not the word I wanted to use in the title  either.

Keeping the tempo of this “up” and holding the attention of my readers is very important. I do not want to become predictable, for I know you will loose interest rapidly. Yet in being real, I am NOT “Polly Sunshine”. I try not to be a fatalist and if I had to characterize myself I would say I’m a realist. I had a rough week and it took its toll on my weekend, my precious-longed for weekend. The collection of disasters had me looking back, trying to make sense of it all, I found myself lost in the sea of disdain with you-know-what, and I was sinking fast.

We are not alone is these human feelings and emotions. We are all simply trying to explain ourselves to a better place. Words you would have said, turns you should have taken roads you should have traveled. Lest we forget how much time we would like to retrieve. Boat Load of Regrets, No Regrets the only thing that actually has a marked change is your perspective.

In closing I got quite a surprising laugh as the events of the week and weekend were recounted. In a relaxed moment with yet another disaster averted, it was quipped as follows; “Yeah I thought things couldn’t get any worse and then the roof fell in”. Well that actually happened; we lived to tell about it, fixed it, and yes somehow managed to get a chuckle out of it all.

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