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Archive for the month “March, 2022”

29 Mar 2022

When It Just Isn’t Enough

You two said goodnight. You had spent hours together talking endlessly about everything under the sun. Ironically you could have gone on, but against better judgement the decision was made to stop here..for the moment.

It is NOT the way you recall it being so many years ago. We have changed on every level including but not limited to chronologically. We have truly lived a “lifetime”. Now that we are back in a familiar place it is not so easy to recall what was and what was not correct. Couple that with the rules of the game have been altered to fit the masses and we are no longer the masses.

Unlike the learning process we grew up with, feeling the confidence that comes with familiarity, once again we find ourselves stumbling through this obstacle course called “life”. This feels familiar and strange at the same time, perhaps that is why we are drawn to it.

It feels like a walk on the beach at Waikiki. In the moments we share the actual environment is insignificant. You ask why one would want to be any other place but in the company of this being? One cannot imagine. We are at a point in our lives where there may NOT be many more opportunities like this one to seize.

However, we still hesitate. For whatever the reason, we contemplate the “other” possibilities. We look at others who have acted in a fashion we deem hastily and try to justify what we are doing. Our way makes sense. To this I offer, while we go through all of the why’s and how’s to do things correctly or timely or both… the unthinkable CAN happen. Then we MUST realize we set our own selves up for this scenario in which there truly wasn’t enough….

Posted in How We Relate, Uncategorized and tagged , | Leave a comment
29 Mar 2022
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And the Oscar Goes To….

What can one say when they bear witness to something but have only a few facts? Are we to trust our very own deceiving eyes? Can we believe our betraying ears? What could we have missed? We speculate, we listen to the so-called experts, critics, and fans. In the end the conclusion is as varied as the individuals that draw them. Therefore, let us begin…

For decades now I have made it my business NOT to take in the pageantry, tradition, grandeur and fluff of award shows. This is a far cry from what I once did. From the red-carpet attire to the acceptance speeches, for years I was captivated. Oscar’s, Grammy’s, Tony’s, Emmy’s, SAG, American Music; I made time for them all. I may have not watched from beginning to end but I took in a good part of them. I knew the main players and recipients of the biggest bounty.

As time went on, as it happens, many things changed. People stopped holding these events in high esteem; the events seemed to be losing momentum, the attire was the first to fall on the wayside and the behavior was the next casualty. I recall watching in utter disgust as a band came forward to accept their award and one of the members spat as he walked toward the stage. This was the Grammy’s, and it was held inside with carpeted floors and upholstered seats. We won’t even talk about how they were dressed I had seen enough. It was not a surprise that I no longer held any interest. Thankfully, things improved, and the award shows returned to what they resembled in past years. I, however, was scarred and to me they lost their zeal. The advent of the internet allowed me to get the results without having to dedicate hours to watching the entire event(s). Problem solved.

It pains me to write this, but as with countless others I feel I have something to say. I have an opinion…and we know what is said about opinions. I was positively appalled by Will Smith’s display Sunday March 27,2022. One can argue he cracked, or he was defending his wife’s honor. Henceforth the record will show a black man assaulting another black man on stage, televised around the world. What a pretty picture, Will. As you broke through a barrier you trashed the area around it with stereotypical behavior. You showed the world violence and foul language, in an instant and no one took into account the possible reasons why.

Many things should have prevented this from happening. Where was security at the event? Why was Will permitted to calmly walk up on that stage assault Chris and walk back to his seat and stay to accept his award later in the show? Academy FAIL.

Why did Will take offense to a joke (no matter whether one feels was in poor taste or not) after he was seemingly seen/filmed laughing at the same joke, to the point the felt compelled to behave in such an uncivilized manner. Under the guise of being disrespected he demonstrated disrespect. Under the guise of protecting, he unmercifully attacked. Though he later apologized to everyone EXCEPT who was physically harmed. And no one was fooled by a publicist version of an apology to Chris the next day. Will Smith FAIL.

As unpopular as this may be let us shine the spotlight on the so-called catalyst in this situation…Will’s wife Jada. Jada, who was so deeply hurt and saddened by Chris’ unkind words (NOTE coming from a comedian it is called a joke) regarding her alopecia, she could not find the strength in her very own character to stop her husband/her protector from putting himself in a very questionable position? For as it has been noted, all it took was a look from Jada to prompt Will’s assault, it is very possible/probable a touch, a word could have prevented this chain of events that took place subsequently. Jada Pinkett-Smith FAIL.

Finally, we must examine the man who was the ultimate target, Chris. Chris is NOT a saint. Chris IS a comedian, a comedian charged with hosting an award show, and he did it with the tools of his trade…JOKES. He is not the first comedian to tell jokes at the expense of others, he is not the only comedian to tell jokes at the expense of others, and hopefully he will not be the last…. This IS what comedians do. Actors act, singers sing, dancers dance…. See a correlation here? What Chris did do was, demonstrate class and professionalism under conditions many of us may not have. Chris Rock PASS with honors.

I have heard and read; it was staged, Chris got what he deserved, and let he without sin cast the first stone.

This writer’s take away… have RESPECT and don’t take yourself too seriously. In a joyous situation allow the celebration to take center stage and IF you understand the concept/definition of RESPECT all situations will be handled appropriately.

Posted in Everybody's Critic, How We Relate and tagged ,
19 Mar 2022
1 Comment

I Just Knew I Was Right

Have you ever just pegged someone completely correct? It is as though you have the power to tell the future. The individual seems to walk, run, go-through-the-motions like a perfectly chorographed dance.

We all enjoy being correct. No matter how much we deny it and try to act like we get little satisfaction from being right , the truth is the truth. However, there are situations and circumstances that just have to make you feel so much better than just being right, like when you dodge the perpetual bullet.

Though it is validation, can you recall when you would have given anything to be wrong? Thoughts swirled about you and your particular individual, but instinct, common sense, and that gut feeling took over. You could not deny such a combination. Rather than acting on impulses and with your heart, you used your head.

Therefore, today when confirmation presented itself all you could do was smile. Like looking through a two-way mirror, you were able to observe him go through his VERY predictable motions. When you talk, because you still talk to him, he tries to make the situation seem innocent and as though he is this benevolent creature saving yet another poor soul. All he is doing is more of the same, the same Modus Operandi, the years have changed but he has not. He is no more able to be emotionally available than he was when you met him and now, he once again embarks on another venture that will undoubtedly be a failure and he will be able to proclaim he is the victim. He wants to take you on this ride with him, under the guise that you two are friends. The truth is you are NOT friends, he has taken you on his trips throughout the years, you just have not been in the car beside him. Even though you have been close, and you felt yourself slipping; you have watched from the ground or just outside the line. He even got angry because you told him that you knew who he was and his behavior was typical. The “friendship” may not survive this time. Now all you can do is smile as you know you were right and did in fact dodge-the-bullet.

Posted in How We Relate, One For My Friends
13 Mar 2022
1 Comment

Lost In The Magic Of The Moment

Glancing out of the corner of my eye I saw the commercial for Lucky Charms cereal and the special edition for St. Patrick’s Day which would turn your milk green Smiling I recalled some of the things that got me excited as a child. The simple things that seemed so very important at that time. I fast forwarded to when my boys were little, and how we as parents were able to provide them with the excitement and joy which took them over the moon from the aisles of the local chain toy store. Furthermore, that same feeling being recreated for my grandchildren. And while the local chain toy store has gone by the wayside, the memories are fresh. Realizing, of course, many of these sources of joy were merely gimmicks devised by the marketing geniuses of their particular time did NOT take away that drawing power, at least not for the smallest consumers.

No one paid attention to the chemicals that we ingested to make our food turn a particular color, except some up-and-coming account manager that happened to notice this byproduct as his own kids ate this same cereal. No one cared that the poorly made plastic toys which sold for pennies were health hazards. All that was known or cared about, at the time was it was entertaining and it made us feel good. Now in our complicated lives where many are beginning to enjoy times that do not include work as we traditionally knew, we are also searching for something/anything that will occupy our time, slightly challenge our minds, and bring us some of the joy life has to offer. Our momentary magic…slightly outside our grasps yet clearly in sight..

Posted in Quickbits
13 Mar 2022
1 Comment

Don’t Act As Though I Am The Only One

I remember my dad pulling into a parking space that there seemingly was no one else around. Perhaps it was to catch his breath, perhaps it was to enjoy an ice cream cone without having eyes studying your every move.. but then it would happen. Another car would pull up and park in a space very near if not right beside us. He would become annoyed, angry at other times. However, the constant thought /statement was, “They just came over here/parked here because I was here.” The older I got the more ridiculous it seemed to me for him to say. My dad was a kind, smart, rational man. However, when that statement came out of his mouth, he seemed far from any of the afore mentioned adjectives.

The years are advancing, the body is changing, and the mind is playing tricks on us all. Sometimes I want/need to be alone. I am comfortable in a restaurant eating a meal or going to a movie unaccompanied, for in those places you never really are alone. My refuge has become my vehicle. I am in control in there, no one giving me suggested routes or directing me to the closest spot to the door of a given retail establishment. I don’t seem to be bound by the four walls of a building either. It feels of freedom. Just me and my music, if I chose to play music. I also MUST note how powerful I feel having that absolute power over the sounds in my car. Remember not-so-long ago we were subject to AM/FM radio.

On a particular Friday afternoon, I found myself in one of those moods that insisted I NEEDED to be alone. I did not argue or resist. I hoped in the car and took off for parts unknown (not too far away it was a Friday). I decided that I felt hungry enough to eat, but rather than grab something from a fast-food joint I opted for a grocery store meal. That felt better, healthier even though that may or may NOT have been the case. You can talk yourself into anything, if you put a little effort in. I even had to get out and walk to get said meal.

Mission accomplished, I had my food and a bottle on kombucha. I did not like the parking lot vibe of the market and sought a more secluded calm spot. I settled on what seemed to be a less frequented shopping plaza that had a national chain hardware store as an anchor. I found the perfect spot under a tree and the concrete planter assured at least one space on one side of me would be unoccupied. Plus, it was the middle of the day Friday, surely folks had other things to do. I was not worried in the least.

I got about 3 minutes into my meal when a small white sedan pulled into a spot directly across from me one space to the left. I tried NOT to notice or pay attention and continued eating my food. Now a full-sized red truck pulls in next to the planter on the other side. Let’s not forget the silver sports car, which had clearly just been waxed. I looked around the parking lot, there were plenty of spaces, closer to the stores, I felt it coming on. Maybe I would have felt better if everyone pulled out something to eat or even drink, but that didn’t happen. I found myself locked into paying attention to these people and to what they, in their respective cars, were doing. This annoyed me immensely and at first, I thought,” Just start the car up and move to another spot on the lot or go home”. However, I was now genuinely hungry. I decided to stay put and do what I intended to do in the first place. Then it happened and a smirk of a smile came across my face as I thought about my father…I said aloud,” Dad, you were right all along. They did park in these spaces just because I was here.”

Posted in How We Relate, Order of Appearance

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