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…racism….

How do I feel in my next chapter when it comes to this subject. I pause, as I did when it occurred to me to write about it. What angle would I take.  I KNOW I am sick to death of it. I know that everyday as I look into MY mirror, my subconscious visits the place where”it” rests. Armed but no necessarily ready for “it”, for you never know what attire “it” will be outfitted in.  Worried and a bit frightened of a sneak attack, because just knowing “it” exists and some places it may dwell in does not mean that is the only place you may find “it”. All of this goes on before I leave the confines of my bathroom.

I live in a predominately white suburb of Atlanta. When we moved to Georgia close to 20 years ago my cousin, the first African American captain for the commercial airline TWA, asked me why the “hell” did you all decide to move there. He flew the east coast and had visited Atlanta many times. He warned that outside the “perimeter” this rumored Mecca was but a mirror of Money, Mississippi. You all know about Money and it’s history right? He and I had many a discussion of the way the south and many cities in the north still quietly practiced traditions of pre-civil war America.

These thoughts are but a drop in the bucket, a heartbeat, a fleeting thought or a similar one that goes through the head of numerous African Americans everyday.  Then we move on and prepare for our day. The stresses of life are real for us all, but the added burden of “it” hangs above our heads and weighs heavy in our hearts.

Whites do not understand, numerous feel we are being petty, over-reacting, or  they simply do not care. It is easy to feel that way when you are not directly affected, I guess… I cannot say I know, for when something bad happens to a black person such as the events that have recently begun to unfold in Florida, our connecting comes eerily into view, our bloodlines are deeper than we consciously know or realize. We care about one another, even if at times we do not demonstrate such by our actions. Perhaps that is why insensitive whites assume we all know one another, and that it is okay to say as much. Please do not get me wrong I make the conscious effort daily, hourly to deal with PEOPLE as individuals. I work really hard NOT to be handicapped by or display the characteristics of”it” . I will not allow “it” to be how I am identified and defined.

As the years pass, “it” gets old; but remains as ugly, smelly and tasteless as the first time you encountered “it”. Problem is now you are tired and less resilient, your patience is NOT at premium level. Now you run the risk of not only being a victim of “it” but a perpetrator of “it” as well. That makes me sick to my stomach

I hate that I have to write this  piece about “it”. I hate that “it” still exists.  What is the solution? I think a real dialogue needs to occur between America and ALL her people, conversations with one another instead of AT one another. We need to recognize and respect the fact that we are ALL people and we are ALL flawed.

This is merely scratching the surface I could go on, but what I want to do is to make progress. I do not want my granddaughter in her fifth or sixth decade still talking about “it” in the present tense. I want her and the generations to come to know of “it” and take pride in “it’s” defeat and demise. To graciously realize how fortunate they are to live in a society where “it” is NOT tolerated.

Bare It All

Think about this how would you feel if you had to reveal yourself to someone? My motivation for this came from my past. This was a funny, frightening, intimidating thought. If one looks at this from a purely physical standpoint, one must examine a nude model.

Who are these individuals who allow the world to see them? Every little flaw and imperfection is visible to the artist, art student or photographer’s eye. Still they disrobe, stand there, and wait to have their being captured in one way or the other.

Beautiful bodies, in motion or still, they are something to behold. Before the age of digital cameras the once was a place called “Fotomat” now you may have had a place that used a different trade name. Their entire purpose was the same nationwide, drive-thru developing of pictures. You dropped it off, you picked it up and never had to leave your car. Well, my sister worked at one. She told me about a young couple who had taken some nude photos of one another. We were teens and we laughed like crazy. She did not show them to me and frankly I did not have the least bit of interest in seeing them. I am on the modest side of the scale. Several years later a little film directed by Forest Whittaker called “Hope Floats” main character, played by Sandra Bullock, said what I am getting at here “polaroids people”.  Why would you turn over something so personal, so revealing  to  anyone less than a true professional. Not saying “Fotomat” did not develop great picture it is about the integrity. This young couple was (forgive the pun here) the butt of two teen girls joke. Perhaps they were being artistic, perhaps they were being sensual, in either case they should have been a bit more cautious.

When you entrust something personal to, friend, acquaintance, lover, spouse, sibling, parent, etc. you do not expect to hear or see that which you put in their care out in the open for any and everyone to scrutinize. Yet, sometimes that is exactly where it ends up. People are reliable and trustworthy, but sometimes things get away. We all need a place where we can bring things out to look at and talk about. Just be sure that when you bring those things out in front of others, when you let them see and hear everything, you can feel confident it will not come out again until you are ready for it to.

Campaign Slogans and Signs

You see them everywhere. They are smart, funny, witty or straight-forward. Let me be honest, living in the “conservative” south a number of them are offensive and annoying.They line streets, grace front yards and are affixed to vehicles

I have seen a couple in person “How’s Your Hope and Change Treatin You?””NoBama”(written this way it looks a lot like the nickname of one of our states)  “If you voted for Obama to prove you weren’t a racist….” this one was on a vehicle driving passed me to make out the remainder. Finally, “Don’t Re-Nig” in 2012.  The last one demonstrates  the wishes of one candidate may be coming into fruition already, no need for folks to be forced or even given an opportunity to go to college. The nerve of that snob of a president…in case you missed it this is sheer sarcasm. A few years ago I saw a bumper sticker that was worth putting on your car, I think it should be a billboard, or on display in Times Square. It said this, “If you think that education is expensive, imagine the cost we will all pay for ignorance.

Inspired by these short little sayings I came up with a couple of my own and understand I cannot begin to express myself as eloquently as my predecessors, but here are my contributions;

” Santorium.. A man for the ages, the dark ages”.

“Who Gives a Newt”

“Mitt.. now he is for change, change positions change sides, change of clothes”

“Ron Paul who really cares?”

I play a game as I drive through town. I call it” What does a ____ supporter look like? Kind of a “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader” driving game. It is something to keep me occupied as I sit in traffic and this game has made me even more aware that numerous inhabitants of my area are NOT!

So I’m a “damn-yankee”. Overall, I hate politics. In previous post I have pointed out I have limited understanding of the process. The one thing I do know of  and do exercise, is my right to vote. Since becoming eligible I have not missed an opportunity to put  the person of  my choosing into office so “he/she” can sell me up river to the highest bidder. I have little or no faith in politicians, any politicians. Recent history is partially to blame. Yet, I do believe I do have basic understanding of reality and what my future could hold if I decide not to cast my ballot.

The bulk of us do not have the time nor the interest to actually research/ investigate the person who is begging, pleading, conning their way into the polling location with us. We take these people at face value and rely on the media, friends, and family to give us an idea who has our best interest at heart. After using this scientific method to select our candidate, we  announce it to our neighbors, strangers, and basically people who give less than a damn about what we think and who we  are/are going to vote for.

Why, because we are proud of what we have done or are going to do. We do this, because we think our opinion is better than others, and if they see what we have done they will follow suit. We do this in order to perhaps discover a common ground, to know we are a part of something big. Announcing our feelings demonstrating to others the confidence in our decision makes us believe we truly know what we are doing.

The most important thing that each of us do is to participate in the process. Liberal, moderate conservative, democrat, republican, independent. People fought and died for us to ALL to have a right to participate in this process; and hopefully have a voice. We are doing our very least by taking advantage of what so many sacrificed so much for.

I will close with this thought; If you think your participation doesn’t count it won’t and neither will you.

Looking Back- For What

Another milestone of sorts rapidly approaches, and I find myself filled with another series of questions. It will be 35 years since my contemporaries and I graduated from high school, June of this year. There has been discussion of a reunion. There are various ones going on; ones that combine classes, one that even combine schools. The ultimate goal here is merely a get-together, an excuse… no an opportunity to have a little fun.

There are things in life you never forget, high school depending on your experience is one of those things. As I read in the news or listen to talk shows where younger people are going to school taking out their frustrations or fighting back against bullies, it saddens me so. For at a time when one has a relative carefree existence these kids have adults sized issues plaguing them.

The era of the Social Media Sites… I am very glad they exist, they have allowed me to connect and reconnect with some family, long lost friends, and acquaintances. They have produced a  relatively”safe” environment for these connections and for that alone I believe we all can benefit. As with most things, we all must exercise precautions.

Let me take you back a few decades though, to not the first but perhaps one of the most celebrated “only if/what would happen if” films of OUR time “Back To The Future”. Who among us hasn’t wished for some time escaping vehicle to send us to a chosen spot, where we would have the option of a child’s game, “a do-over”. Not dealing with the negative affects only the boundless possibilities. Our hero Marty McFly allowed us to live out the experience vicariously for a couple of hours. Following the film maybe our mind’s eye briefly let us create the alternate place of our own, in which we were the starring characters.

“The Reunion “gives us a “taste ” of that fantasy, as well as a slap in the face of the realities. Whether it is family, workplace, class, or something more personal (“an affair to remember”; my movie trivia folks will appreciate this) a basic human need or two will be approached and/or fulfilled.

However, on these brief jaunts into the past we have to take some safety precautions. Accept and realize the guide, guests, and attractions may be a little altered by “father-time” in the  form of our very own memory. He, as well as it, may not be as forgiving as we may have hoped. With that out of the way; buckle up, venture into a place where people knew and remember you from a time gone by. Immerse yourself in the fact that these same people interacted with you longer and more frequently than some of your very own family, many in ways your family was not privy to.

We are warned of looking back, how this can lead to regret. Then in the same breath, we feel justified in looking back in order to not make the same mistakes. I submit to you a view of a forward thinker, you certainly could repeat the same mistake(s), but the way you deal with it/them will be different

When it is over look at the experience through the eyes of a roller coaster enthusiast; it may be short, it certainly was sweet, and I ABSOLUTELY  would do it all over again! Personally, I am lookin forward to that next reunion.