Hopeless Romantic…It Is Just That
HOPELESS. I can say that from a place of knowing. I fell victim to my daydreamer’s heart decades ago. Yet here I am on the other side of chronological mid–life and I still wander into the danger zone. The good part here is this time there is no particular man to equate with this.
It is good to be alone with your thoughts sometimes. You do not have to let the noise in from outside of YOU. Reflect. You can direct and focus. Make plans and follow through with said plans. You can finish things that have been tabled for a longer period than intended, because there is NOTHING standing in your way! In spite of the fact that only you have been what stands in the way for some time now.
My “writing” has suffered through some of my hopeless romantic episodes. I recall those moments… the guy, the times I spent with him, the music (our soundtrack). It felt real, it felt scary, and it felt real. Most of the time I remember this time with a smile. I understand why I worked so hard to be in that place. My love life was a Disney fairytale waiting to happen.
After a while I had to admit choices were limited for a person who has expectations and requirements. I was never mean; I bowed out of/exited many situations intentionally allowing the guy to think abandoning “us” was his idea. That way he would not ever feel like he needed to give us another chance. He would allow his ego to say, “Man, you broke it off with her…” I don’t hurt feelings, but I am not a repeat offender.
Then I became a cynic (remember I said this). I told myself, ” I tried, this is an impossible task that has costs and casualties, far more than I am willing to accept”. Now of course I have to put out there this is my space, my blog, my experience, my opinion, but you are here so I have to say I am presenting a singularly focused view/vantage point. From my experience Hopeless Romantic the endeavor is just that hopeless.
