hafacenturyncounting

Motivated by a lack of material.

Archive for the month “October, 2012”

When It Just Stopped Being Fun

I cannot remember the moment, but one day I recall there was no more joy attached to it. Then there was a sense of emptiness. I didn’t know why. When I finally put my finger on it, there was the feeling of loss. How does one recover from such a thing?

I am going to start with a positive and use it as a mechanism to get us thinking. Cooking… now our generation grew up with some fabulous cooks. We will say mother, grandmother, aunts,  sisters,  for starters(because I realize there are some fathers in this list as well). It was important for us to be able to cook and these ladies saw to it that we did. My family had some great cooks. We had Sunday dinners that were reminiscent of the ones depicted in the movie “Soul Food”. Two of my childhood friends fathers were great cooks in  their own rights.  To say that cooking and food surrounded my life would be an understatement. I  have cooked and baked since I was about 10 years old.

A natural deduction would be I must be a pretty good cook as well, that would be correct. Another one would be I must enjoy cooking, that would be incorrect. You see I was an overweight child; but that didn’t turn me against cooking, if anything it motivated me to do it more and more often. Later I married a man who did not object to cooking, and often took it upon himself to cook because of our working hours. I will give this point as contributory. However, my not enjoying cooking stemmed from what stated this entire dialog.. It just stopped being FUN. Cooking is an art, a talent. It is for sustenance and pleasure. A way of sharing feelings, if you will. It can be sensual, down right joyful, and let’s not forget the all important it just plain tastes good.

What began to happen was I attached a negative to a positive. The food tasted good but it was work,the food tasted good but it put on weight, the food tasted good but there was an easier way to feed the family. The negative took over and won. Instead of finding reasons to cook, I gravitated to the reasons not to. Without warning it happened and it stopped being what it used to be pleasurable, joyous, fun. The purpose still existed, but it was all too serious now.

Acknowledging all the things we experience in our lives are NOT going to bring a smile to our face or a sense of joy in our heart, but some of those the things that can should. Otherwise, they just become yet another task.

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Bon Anniversaire

First let me  say, I do not speak French. I wish I did, I wish I spoke another language along with English. This post is for my friend “Samantha” :0) I wanted to post this yesterday, because that was actually her birthday. Life interrupted that plan.

Whatever your age, if you are fortunate, you have celebrated a birthday and are still around to talk about it. Some birthdays are great more than you can hope for permanently carved in your memory forever. Others go but as uneventful 24 hour periods. In general most of us have more of the latter. Yet, each year we are filled with expectation and anticipation, whether we admit to it or not.

Landmark birthdays; the 1st one for obvious reasons,  the 12 and/or 13th transitioning the child to the teen years, “sweet 16” truly a girl thing and rather archaic in today’s world, 18 and 21 the cross over point to  respective legal rights. The ones that follow while equally significant, are reminders that we are THANKFULLY getting older. I say thankfully because celebrating another year, being able to complain about more gray hair and wrinkles, beats the hell out of the option.

I  am an autumn baby, I love this time of year. I must confess that as much as I love this time of year, “Sammie” and I shared a text chuckle about how jacked up our birth month usually is for the both of us. It made me feel connected and it made me feel good that I was not the only one who felt happy they had seen another birthday, but couldn’t wait for the month it is celebrated in was gone.

Anticipation, expectation every thing that goes wrong is magnified with the unconscious thought, “and of all days/months this one”. This one being the magical, glorious day/month of your birth. How can that be? I’ll tell you, we are delusional. I know I was/am. For years as a working individual I would make it my business NOT to work on my birthday.why because it was my birthday. You don’t work on your birthday, but if you go back to the actual day your were born on… it was probably a laborious one, Cesarian or natural.

My point is the days we face come as they may, are equally good or bad no matter when they occur. Do they culminate on “our” day… maybe, but that has more to do with our state of mind than what actually is happening. So I say, CELEBRATE absolutely,  but take some of that same joy with you everyday and thank the Almighty that He has allowed you to see, yet another day.

Happy Birthday, “Sammie”! I hope it was… well know what I hope.

So Sensitive

I do not want to be a part of a society that takes itself so serious that it cannot laugh, enjoy, or even relax.

After a two month break I returned to social media and just in time for the Olympics. The wonder displays of physical prowess and excellence. The spirit of National Pride and personal accomplishment come in tune with one another. Yet amiss this wonder we found time to critique so many things that do not count. Fervor over a child’s hair rather than the grace and greatness of which she handles her sport. It was sickening.

A flavor-of-the-week movie phenom caught in the act of infidelity. We are shocked and appalled… really? In their industry it is more the rule than the exception when someone ventures out and cheats.

Now or should I say continuing conflict in the political arena. With a Presidency at stake, we should expect this. A sea of lies and deceptions out of which our leader is going to rise. Question is what do we get when one has to rise from muck?

We get so personal about this figures in the “limelight”, yet what do we really know about them? What do we really want to know about them? That is easy, the ones we are interested in we want to know everything to the tiniest of detail. The ones we are not we simply turn the page, change the channel, or walk past the newspaper/tabloid/magazine.

I don’t want to live in a society where every little thing has to be scripted or scrutinized, but I also don’t want to live in a place where people take for granted being disrespectful is a God-given-right. Most everyone of us has what is called common sense, most all of us say things that are wrong at times, the ones I truly have a problem with are the ones that run and hide behind the guise of innocence or self-righteousness.

The Olympian; I applaud for she demonstrated that she was more than hair before the world. The movie actress; I am not a fan of the type of movies she has gained so much recognition for, so I do not follow her and there are NO expectations. Finally, the Presidential campaign; I have my candidate selected AND WILL VOTE FOR HIM.

Self expression is great when it is accompanied by tact, decorum and honesty.  You should be able to tell a person who suggests you “just be friends”, “No thanks, that’s not what I was looking for with you.” Stand by what you say and do, but also humbly accept the fact their may very well be consequences for doing that very thing. Do not be afraid to tell the truth,  simply think through the words you choose to convey that truth.

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