hafacenturyncounting

Motivated by a lack of material.

Archive for the tag “honesty”

20 May 2013
3 Comments

Obligied

How far should we take an obligation? What are the rules? The answers lie within I suppose. Speaking from experience I can tell you these feeling of responsibility are deep seeded, and can lead to years of complicated emotions. You  do grow tired after a while. What may have began as well meaning, can turn to resentment and regret.

There you sit with a self-prophesying reality and it is pretty amazing, or is it. You authored this contract, you made the terms and conditions. Face it you must live up to these things or back out and abandon them.

There are so many hard things to face when dealing with obligation; one thing one must explore and admit to is that there is a factor of care and concern. No individual who has not vested these things will bother living up to an obligation. There has to be something that is in it for them and it may not be anything simple. We may be hopeful that people have a sense of honor, but contracts give you a way out.  There is an escape clause. You do not have a long time to change your mind, but you do have an option.

The most significant characteristic of an obligation is a very simple basic thing; it is generally the right thing to do. Yet we all know that we do not always want to do the right thing. Sometimes we prefer to sit back and “let the chips fall where they may”; nice escape route and you can tell yourself that it wasn’t your fault, it just happened. Sometimes, we feel vindicated or justified in doing the wrong thing for the so-called right reasons. However, here is some truth for you  it is never the wrong decision to do the right thing.

One has to learn to live with oneself , when you get to where you can lie and deceive your very being, you will also find that you do not like yourself very much and would rather not be in this type of company. So tread lightly when it comes to obligations and do what is right, in the long run you will find yourself fulfilled. That in itself is invaluable.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , ,
07 May 2013
1 Comment

A Boat Load Of Regrets

I short “No Regrets” was the comment I got from one of my readers. I loved the entire comment though. It is nice when people read you and have something  to say. This reader is a friend and on more than one occasion has inspired a piece or two. As a special note there are a number of my friends and family who get me to thinking, thus a blog appears. However, don’t look for yourself in my writing I value you far too much to put YOU specifically out here on the information highway without consulting or even warning you first. Remember the catch word here is INSPIRE.  Also “Boat” was not the word I wanted to use in the title  either.

Keeping the tempo of this “up” and holding the attention of my readers is very important. I do not want to become predictable, for I know you will loose interest rapidly. Yet in being real, I am NOT “Polly Sunshine”. I try not to be a fatalist and if I had to characterize myself I would say I’m a realist. I had a rough week and it took its toll on my weekend, my precious-longed for weekend. The collection of disasters had me looking back, trying to make sense of it all, I found myself lost in the sea of disdain with you-know-what, and I was sinking fast.

We are not alone is these human feelings and emotions. We are all simply trying to explain ourselves to a better place. Words you would have said, turns you should have taken roads you should have traveled. Lest we forget how much time we would like to retrieve. Boat Load of Regrets, No Regrets the only thing that actually has a marked change is your perspective.

In closing I got quite a surprising laugh as the events of the week and weekend were recounted. In a relaxed moment with yet another disaster averted, it was quipped as follows; “Yeah I thought things couldn’t get any worse and then the roof fell in”. Well that actually happened; we lived to tell about it, fixed it, and yes somehow managed to get a chuckle out of it all.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged ,
25 Apr 2013
1 Comment

Clean Up Your Act

Cleaning; not a subject I am particularly fond of nor do I have a deep seeded hatred for. However, I am quite good at it.

I have to confess I did get into the business from a “need” inspired place. I had been exposed to this particular vocation since childhood. It was not something I imagined doing, that is until I would get quite aggravated while working in the administrative aspect of the Postal Service. Then I would both sarcastically and jokingly say, “Can’t I have a stress free job like the custodian.”

At the risk of having customer former or present read this piece I will be very cautious.  Never would I  point out an individual in a forum such as this, I am far too conflict oriented( I know what I am saying) for that. I would much rather confront you face-to-face. I am not trying to provide competition with strategy. Yet I do not mind giving out a little information that might help someone. All of these suggestions work/have applicable ideas for the provider and the customer.

If you are looking for someone to provide you with a cleaning service be very specific; either they will do what you want or not. Don’t get trapped in/bogged down with assumptions, this will keep you(the customer) from being disappointed and the service provider from being unhappy as well. Sometimes you can ask for addition services that either will be provided at a cost or even given if the provider is aware of the want/need at the time.  Communication is paramount. Ultimately, you want a relationship that is mutually beneficial.

Don’t be cheap. Licenses, bonds, insurance cost; if you risk having someone come into your home or place of business without these be aware you may get off cheaper initially, but in the long run bad service, damaged items, missing effects… what did you really save. You do get what you pay for, especially if you do as previously stated. If you have a price in mind share it. This does not suggest you will get the price, but perhaps you will gain understanding as to why what you want is/is not possible from a particular provider. You may be able to negotiate better.

Do not mix up services. If you want someone as a housekeeper  look for a housekeeper. If you want a maid look for a maid. The job descriptions are similar but not the same. That being said you cannot expect a housekeeper to do your laundry or your dishes, unless you discussed and agreed to this prior. Pick up your place so the service provider can clean what actually needs cleaning. If you need an organizer then look for one of those. You waste time and resources not taking these steps. If your housekeeper has to sift through piles of clothes in order to vacuum, either the floor will not be vacuumed or your fee is going to go up.  If you have stacks of dishes in the sink and no room in the dishwasher, there are a variety of end results that could occur. YOU will be unhappy in either case.

Therefore, try this; be upfront and honest, communicate your wants and needs, make no assumptions. When you the customer/service provider do these things the expectation is realistic and generally will be met.  End result, mutually beneficial.

Posted in As Consumers and tagged ,
20 Apr 2013
1 Comment

The Way I See It

GreatExpectations; This is not a typo this is the way I think this feeling I am wanting to express should be conveyed singular and large. After waking up a 4 A.M inflection and self-discovery was on my mind.

I am a morning person, but there is something terribly wrong about getting up when it is still dark. I have gone through periods where my sleep pattern seemed to be altering itself. I also do need some alone time, I believe writers need this time for clear uninterrupted thoughts. Good luck with this if you have a cat.

I spent some time surfing the internet and listening to music. I saw a couple of things I felt were speaking to me directly. It felt like , when you go to church and the message the minister is conveying  is JUST about you or directed at you.

I wanted to dance, but I have no rhythm.  Was is unreasonable to  expect you to teach me or even know I wanted to learn? I am overweight, the diets have failed. Why haven’t you encouraged me to get fit? I want to make love. When are you going to touch me? GreatExpectations.

Is there no end to the arrogance of man? Note,”man” NOT A MAN.  I ask because of the thought “he who has done great things”, does not necessarily make him great and the perception should not be as such. Perhaps answering some basic questions can answer questions for you, yourself. One must learn to take ones accomplishments in stride. You must realize that you are only a portion of any one thing you do achieve or fail to achieve. I am not undermining or understating that which you have accomplished which is good, but there have been some pitfalls alongside the win-falls. Therefore the defeats must be given the same consideration.Thus taking things in stride.

Varying degrees and levels, varying strengths and weaknesses, yet we expect things to turn out our way, the right way as we see it. If you experience something difficult and you survive it, then you see someone else with the same challenge in their life, but they are not having the success you did, what thought comes to you first? Success or failure you have to take the outside forces into account. None of us has or is a “cure all”. Remember this next time you prepare to “dive into a situation and become aware that you have no oxygen tank”.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , ,
18 Apr 2013
4 Comments

Just Ask

“Deal Breakers” you may ask yourself or maybe it is asked of you how much more of this would/will you take? Do you know the answer? What about the people around you and I am not just talking about any people, I mean the ones you say you love and care about. Just how much do you actually know about these folks?

Okay when is the birthday, what’s the favorite color, food, or designer? The most embarrassing thing that has ever happened and the happiest moment. These are just a few examples; but to be honest none of these matter if they are NOT the one that counts for, the one who counts to you.

There is nothing worse than thinking you know someone and finding out you don’t. However, I think it is equally disappointing to that loved one to discover this same information. Knowledge does not always come easy and one of the best ways to obtain information is to simply ask the right questions. One cannot assume they know all there is to know about another, by virtue of mere exposure. Here’s a secret, we do not reveal ourselves right away.

It is a mistake to leave something that is important to you to chance. I have pointed out many times, that we ourselves do not know or cannot always explain ourselves; therefore how can we expect someone outside of ourselves to do this very same thing? It is slightly unreasonable.

I am not excusing a repeat offender, but I do say it is very possible for someone close to you not to know important facts about you or to even forget these important facts. Give them the benefit of the doubt.   Therefore, my suggestion/my solution is “just ask”. Ask if you don’t know something, ask if you want something, but do ask. Do not house animosity towards someone close to you for simply being human, it happens to the best of “us”.

Posted in Quickbits and tagged , ,
17 Feb 2013
2 Comments

Was It Just Sex.. Really?

On an average day, with nothing in particular to do you look up and there he(or she) is. That someone from your past. Do you remember an incident like this?I am going to give you two scenarios. You thought the face/body looked familiar but it wasn’t until you saw the unique motion/characteristic; you fill in the blank here that you knew for certain. Your eyes meet, at this uncomfortable point in time you have mili-seconds to decide, do I pretend I don’t know/see this person, or do I acknowledge and approach. Well here you are not going to get that choice, because this person is approaching you in a amiable fashion and certainly you cannot be an ass. After being greeted with the open arms and hug you begin talking. You basically do not hear a word, you are smiling and nodding in agreement, for you are in another place.

You are waiting for your spouse/loved one and you hear your name you turn to the sound and there he/she is… Looking rather fantastic and gazing at you like the feeling is mutual. You observe every inch of them as the approach nears. Of course there is an embrace followed by a pregnant pause and seemingly it lasts forever, because you are in another place.

Who are these people are they passengers or just passers-by on our trip though life. Was it just sex.. really? Rufus did a song “Please Pardon Me” and it would be  my choice for the theme song of this piece, if it had a theme song. Look the song up if you don’t know it, but if you do know it and remember the lyric you will understand.

Human beings are sexual creatures;  we like to have sex, in many  instances we must have sex. If you tell a mental health professional you are not having a desire for sex and there is NO physical reason for this, he will promptly prescribe medication or at the very least take your problem/complaint/condition  quite a bit more seriously.

In our innocent youth an exciting, somewhat forbidden discovery. As we mature both chronologically and viscerally a choice to be enjoyed and controlled with our own individual discretion. Again  with time, progressing to the occasion treat or disregarded urge. Until finally we may reach the “psychotic” state, due to our physical or metal condition, of none at all.

Whether satisfying a human need or “making love”, it is a part of our lives and it’s role in our lives is changing. There are always the exceptions. The dedicated Christians who did in fact save themselves for marriage,  they have managed to and still remain true to their betrothed. The self-practicing/self proclaimed celibates, you can’t miss what you’ve never had. However for the remaining folks; stay healthy, happy, and active in it for as long as life permits.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , , , , ,
03 Feb 2013
1 Comment

Multiple Personalities….Or Just Two Faces

So who are you today? Most people feel as though they are exactly who they were the day before, the same person they have been for however long they have existed on this planet. Yet I think we all have re-invented ourselves once or twice. It could be as simple as a weight loss program, hair style change or as complicated as major surgery( plastic or other).

I laughing refer to myself as different names and variations of my name, but I genuinely TRY to be as “real” as I can with people. I am polite, concerned, friendly, disinterested, faithful, loyal, mean, moody, helpful, and kind to name a few. However, what I am not is disingenuous. Yes, people once again I am writing from the heart. I had an experience just seer my soul. As I point out repeatedly I KNOW I am not alone in what I feel and experience so here is yet another trip into “50-hood”.

Never mix business with pleasure, I had a gut feeling but I didn’t want to accept it and most of all I didn’t want to be right. However, as much as I down-play my sensitivity I know people. Maybe it is a glance you catch out of the corner of your eye, maybe it is electric impulses your body picks up, I can’t really tell you all I know is during my time with this individual(she was a customer) I  always held in the back of my mind,” Oh I would hate to find out/discover she was a… not as nice/cool as she seemed”. Damned if I wasn’t right though. The killer in situations like this is that they can go on indefinitely. I “kick” myself as I think of her. I can still hear in that Tennessee drawl, “Hey Ileeeen”. I recall the first time I heard a southerner with a southern accent say my name. I laughed to myself thinking, ” wow they speak so slowly..” Years of living here has taught me “they” want to speak that way, it is NOT something they cannot help.

My “girlbuddy”; she fit the typical southern woman profile, nice nasty and she took it to a whole other level. She came off like sunshine; she was pretty, seemingly smart and rather worldly (that was shocking to me in itself).  She was not my friend, she was friendly and to the point the mistake was understandable. Her motives were simple; get the most I can and if pretending is an avenue, I will take it. There was NOT an honest bone in her body. She smiled in my face and mounted up things against me. Then one day rather than confront me she lied and told me she could not use my services anymore.  “Dropped me like a lead balloon”.

Look this has happened before and will probably happen again. My business and I are NOT infallible. We can debate professionalism and what the client deserves vs the provider delivers, there will be some level of disagreement. However, I still think everyone should know the truth(You Owe Me The Truth9/28/2011).

Five months after the fact I found out the truth, third party of course. I do not know the depth or detail of what the problem actually was, but I do know that not only did my “girlbuddy” lie to me about letting me go, she has bothered to “bad-mouth” me as well. That is not the most damaging thing I feel; I hate being right in this case and I know that I cannot be surprised by anything people who you work for do.

I violated one of my carnal rules and I will make every effort to avoid such a mistake again. Before I un-friended her on Facebook and blocked her and the entire family; I took a last look at her friends, saw the diversity (yeah right) of them, I remember her clients and I said,” Yeah Tennessee; you shoulda known better!” Well now I do.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , , , ,
30 Jan 2013
1 Comment

A Big Company That Cares????

Well that statement seems to be an oxymoron in itself. A few months ago I would have written this and happily proclaimed there was one and I personally had found/discovered this truth for myself! Today, that is not the case. Gather around as I tell the tale of my  trip with AT&T.

AT&T has been around for awhile and to call them “big” is quite the understatement. Yet for the sake of argument lets do just that, AT&T is BIG. In November I had a “wonderful” chance encounter with an AT&T representative. This lady was knowledgeable, professional, and (yes the unheard of adjective in customer service) NICE! This lady” single-handedly” convinced me to leave my cell phone carrier of 10 years to come over to AT&T. She showed and promised me I could have two lines for what I was paying for one with my carrier at the time AND the phones I was getting would be the new “i-phones( I was not due for an upgrade for several months). Okay being the frugal individual I am( alright I am down-right cheap) and after a lengthy discussion with a lady who seemingly did what she said (for she had actually helped me with another issue with AT&T in the most masterful fashion) I submitted.  I left the comfort of an old provider for a new shiny one, fully adored and equipped with i-phones.

I was happy. I told my family and friends in California, I told my friends in Georgia, AT&T was the s…”stuff that dreams are made of”. My love affair was short lived; first the phones were back-ordered so a one to two day turn-around turned into 10 days, the bill was not the same as what I had been paying  for one phone it was twice much, and the 100.00 gift card, showing their appreciation for me taking this new service, well it still has NOT arrived to date.  Trust me, the 30 days cut off time has LONG expired.

I have spent more time on the phone with AT&T trying to get what I was promised than I have used the new i-phones(of course this is an exaggeration but used to illustrate a level of frustration that is ENORMOUS) for other purposes. I have e-mailed my wonderful contact time and again. Part of me wants to believe she is/has actually tried to get this straight for me, the other part of me has lost faith, thus this blog piece.

As I look back at this experience and wait watching the clock as the time on my contract with AT&T slowly moves closer to the end(early termination is penalized), I have to admit I fell prey to wanting something for nothing. I did not heed the warnings of a cliche’d truth, “If it seems too good to be true it probably is”. I try to justify what I did by saying, ” I was not looking to change carriers, it just happened. Yet, I know the truth I would NOT be with AT&T this day had I not been a “sheep”. I let the flashy coercion of  my need for the i-phone draw me in. Don’t let it happen to you. AT&T IS a “BIG COMPANY, and AT&T DOESN’T care about you.

Posted in As Consumers and tagged , , , , , ,
26 Jan 2013
1 Comment

If You Can’t Be Honest With Me, Then

This is a matter of trust and feelings. Have you ever asked someone for an opinion and then when you did get it you got mad? Sure you have, we all have.  Now ask yourself what the reason was behind the anger; was it having someone give you an answer or some information you did not really want, or was it having to face something you already knew the answer to but had not/could not/would not act on.

At this point in our lives there are few things we encounter that we do not have some type of answer to. There are not a lot of surprises left. Not saying we have ALL the answers, far from it; simply the new, the strange, the out-of-the-ordinary does not occur as often as it used to. Therefore, when we talk or communicate with one another we are for-the-most-part, seeking a sounding board rather than a prophet.

This is where the reliability of the communication comes in. Can you count on your counterpart(s) to be honest, truthful, and up front? Well why would that be a problem? I will tell you why because often times lies SEEM to be the easy way out. I am not talking vicious  ones either; there are the “kind for-the-sake-of-sparing-your-feelings”, there are the “little white lies”, there are the omission. Lets get text-book and even antiseptic here, they are all deceptions are they not? Don’t get me wrong because placed under oath about this subject, I would sweat and even invoke my 5th Amendment Rights. I am just being real.

You may know one or two truly vicious or mean liars, folks that actually intend on hurting someone with their untruths. However most of us are opportunist and/or cowards; we are looking for the easy less abrasive way of saying something. Our lies give us a chance to regroup or bide time. Then there are the folk who are simply delusional, they would tell you,” I never lie”. I know some very honest people… NEVER is a very long time.

Understand I am not condoning this, I do not have adequate time or space to explain it. This is simply a short examination of it, prompted by personal experience. I am not suggesting everyone you know or speak to is lying to you, nor am I saying they are perfectly honest. Simply there are questions and tasks placed upon us that we all must realize challenge our perimeters and abilities. Expect only as much of others as you are able or willing to do and then take note an exception is always a possibility.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , , , ,
26 Jan 2013
1 Comment

Seconds Anyone?

The words just grabbed me. They made me feel imaginative and excited. Out of the blue my inspiration  revealed itself. The 2nd Inauguration of President Barack H. Obama.

Can I tell you that I sat glued to television all day long. When I wasn’t smiling from ear to ear, tears streamed down my face. I cannot tell you each independent thought. There was a flood of emotion. From the outfits his daughters wore and how much they have grown in four years, to the obvious security as the First Couple walked down the street of the parade route. There was happiness and hope abound. You could see the and feel the “love” the citizens of these United States of America  have for this President.

So what memorabilia do I collect this time? I have the invitation. At a time when my finances are not near where I want them to be I am looking at a 50.00 commemorative frame! Really? However, this is history and it is near and dear to my heart. I will skip lunch at my favorite Thai restaurant, I will delay my next visit to the spa. He is phenomenal.

I look to his images for inspiration. He is the  most incredibly human  and seemingly accessible leader.  A friend of mine said, “The Huxtibles are in the White House”.Watching him in moments of tragedy, crisis, joy, and triumph has given me a sense that it will be alright. It will not be great because his opponents would rather see our country fail than to have him, a black man lead us into a successful future. Yet I maintain faith and believe he will continue do great things in spite of what and who he is up against.

Whether you like him or not his accomplishments are amazing. It is undeniable that the cards were NOT stacked in his favor, yet he came out on top. History will remember him for the obvious, at the very least he was first.  A little thing like race is a determining factor in history being honest. The fact that  this is questionable is truly sad.

Oversimplified liken him to a meal shared with friends(I don’t eat with people I don’t like). There were a couple of choices and your choice either was not selected. However, you aren’t going to stop being friends because you did not get your way are you? That is just juvenile and besides maybe next time you may get your pick. There has to be something on the menu you like; there is a common thread because you all are “friends”, so find something you like or get a glass of water, shut up and wait your turn. Personally, I am going to enjoy seconds.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , ,

Post Navigation

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →