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Archive for the tag “wisdom”

16 Jun 2013
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June Gloom

Southern Californians know this term ever so well. It is a reference to the cloudy gray mornings we experience during the early summer month. This particular June as I sit in my Georgia home I am experiencing the gloom for another reason. I am suffering from a case of change with complications arising from loss.

I often have spoken of change and how we have to embrace it for there is no progress with out it and so-on. I am telling you that I am resisting the changes I have experienced lately with unrelenting determination. I want so much to retreat to that which is familiar, I need my safe haven, and I want to return to that which I know.

Earlier in the week I was told of the passing of a long time friend of my family. A lady who I have know for some 20 plus years. I went to school with her children, watched her grandchildren become adults and parents themselves. She is a part of my history, those of us who grew up on 107th Street have a connection the equivalent of a bloodline. She was a neighbor, she was a friend, she was family and she IS loved.

Not 24 hours earlier I was calling to check on my dear friend, who I haven’t known as many years, but in emotional ties the bond is unquestionable, only to be told she had suffered a fall which hospitalized her and the prognosis is NOT what I would want it to be. Her children a source of pure joy, her seven grandsons jewels in her crown of pride, and of course her best friend/ companion/ love for 65 years; I do not have words to express what it feels like to be in the company of a life fulfilled, after knowing this lady for such a short time. I shared a little prayer I say when I am drawing on my faith with my dear friend’s precious daughter.  “Not my will oh Lord but Yours”.

Trying not to cry, I want to say something about these two ladies I love. I feel so fortunate and blessed to have had them in my life. I don’t question the Lord but I do wonder what did I do to gain such favor to have Him put these special people in my life. Unfortunately, I would be lying if I said I completely understand why He decided to take them from me when He did.  I know there are Christians who would tell me that I am toying with the “Wrath of Hell” saying such things but God is all knowing..  Therefore He is quite aware of my state.

God gives us balance, not everything is one way, although at times we cannot see beyond our circumstances. My younger brother reached his milestone half century mark, thankfully he joined the ranks of us that talk in decades instead of years, and laugh about it. Father’s Day is  less than an hour and a half away on the east coast; a day when we pay homage to the men in our lives that have inspired and supported us like no other. All this midst “June Gloom”.

All of these things are/have been made possible because of God. Tonight when I say my prayers I will thank Him for all he has done for me, blessings He has bestowed, people He has put in my path, and I shall ask Him for strength to endure the things that present themselves to me that I think I would much rather not encounter. Tonight I will ask Him to care for these two beautiful ladies and their loving families in ways only He can. Through all of this I know I will be okay with time, but I know one day someone will be praying for me because it may NOT seem as though I will in fact be alright on that particular occasion.

In closing,”Trust in the Lord”.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged , , , ,
11 Jun 2013
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Love Always

This is about the one you left behind. Sit back and enjoy the ride, join me on a trip down memory lane.

His was a smile that was literally sunlight, I feel myself blushing as I recall the first time we kissed. I feel so silly because I still talk to this guy, we are friends; bound by the romanticized experiences of our youth and the knowledge that had we really gotten together I probably would not have a smile plastered on my face as I talked or wrote about us.

Now you positively will not get the details, this is a fill-in-the-blanks type deal left for you to DIY about yourself and your individual situation. I am only serving as a tour guide, suggesting points of interest to visit. He, however, set the standard for any and every man who followed. That is until I finally got him out of my system. It took years.

I know of  a few couples who have been married for decades now, I know a few couples who are happy, but I venture to say among them  all, I may know two who actually fall into both categories. One must applaud the effort it takes to maintain a marriage. Maybe they, like so many of us, still have a warm spot in their hearts for the one who “got away”. Maybe they, again like so many of us, thank their lucky stars that this very same special person did just that,”GOT AWAY”. Whatever the case may be, here is yet another memory to pack away in your mind for safe keeping.

When you do pull “it” out, when you look back, when you recall this source of joy and pain give yourself a break; the imagined expectation of a happy, love filled relationship was just not meant to be. As you think of the romance, think of what ended it, and realize life generally moves in the direction it is suppose to, whether we like it or not. If you’re lucky, like I am, you have a friend you can “love always”.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , ,
11 Jun 2013

All Us In Wander Land

There is tremendous stock placed in having a plan. Plan for  your future, plan for your business, plan for life. To succeed you must have a systematic map set in place. However, it doesn’t always go like that. We do not control all the other elements that may or may not affect our plans. What happens then when something gets in your way and alters the course of action/plan you derived? Better yet what happens when you don’t even have a plan.

Wandering aimlessly through life, you just may bump into something that will carry you  through to a meaningful existence. I do not by any means suggest this method, this is merely an observation. I can think of a time  or times when I really had no idea what to do next. What did I do? I improvised. Our society seems ill-equipped to handle surprises or to seek an alternate solution, because we are so busy looking for the easy way out. The fastest, simplest, least challenging way to obtain anything, that’s what we want. Oh but now it needs to be quality. Yes I am over simplifying this however, there are some truths hidden in this wit.

What to do when faced with a dilemma that you have no way to conquer. You do not have the knowledge you, do not have the resources. What you have is the awareness that you cannot see your way clear. You also may be painfully aware that you are tired of the battle. Children wish their problems away, adults face their problems; they have no choice, but oh how they wish for the child’s solution/escape clause. Draw upon that which you KNOW you have and see what you come up with, then maybe you will have some good solid advice to share with someone else wondering about, searching for a solution or purpose. Trust me on this, the answer is there you just have to discover it. Therefore, I’ll let you know how I make out.

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07 May 2013
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A Boat Load Of Regrets

I short “No Regrets” was the comment I got from one of my readers. I loved the entire comment though. It is nice when people read you and have something  to say. This reader is a friend and on more than one occasion has inspired a piece or two. As a special note there are a number of my friends and family who get me to thinking, thus a blog appears. However, don’t look for yourself in my writing I value you far too much to put YOU specifically out here on the information highway without consulting or even warning you first. Remember the catch word here is INSPIRE.  Also “Boat” was not the word I wanted to use in the title  either.

Keeping the tempo of this “up” and holding the attention of my readers is very important. I do not want to become predictable, for I know you will loose interest rapidly. Yet in being real, I am NOT “Polly Sunshine”. I try not to be a fatalist and if I had to characterize myself I would say I’m a realist. I had a rough week and it took its toll on my weekend, my precious-longed for weekend. The collection of disasters had me looking back, trying to make sense of it all, I found myself lost in the sea of disdain with you-know-what, and I was sinking fast.

We are not alone is these human feelings and emotions. We are all simply trying to explain ourselves to a better place. Words you would have said, turns you should have taken roads you should have traveled. Lest we forget how much time we would like to retrieve. Boat Load of Regrets, No Regrets the only thing that actually has a marked change is your perspective.

In closing I got quite a surprising laugh as the events of the week and weekend were recounted. In a relaxed moment with yet another disaster averted, it was quipped as follows; “Yeah I thought things couldn’t get any worse and then the roof fell in”. Well that actually happened; we lived to tell about it, fixed it, and yes somehow managed to get a chuckle out of it all.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged ,
05 May 2013

HAIKU and Grapefruits

This may seem random and perhaps that is because it is.

During my quiet time, I visit with words. I came across “HAIKU” in an email from a writer friend. I am not admittedly the most avid reader, although I love light research. In short I would have to be characterized as a writer who does not read a great deal. Poetry is an aspect of writing that I enjoy reading far more than I do writing it. I missed “HAIKU”. Well upon research I found out the history, saw examples, and was so enamored with it I bothered downloading a book on the subject. I may actually try my hand at “HAIKU” in the near future. Feels fun.

The grapefruit came for a more primitive place, I was eating one. For years I have enjoyed grapefruits especially the ruby red variety. I was familiar with it as a source of vitamin C and association with weight loss programs, this particular morning I was eating with intent to reap benefits from both of these known attributes. I had a Dr. Seuss moment”, “Why do they  it a grapefruit?” I mean it doesn’t look like a grape, it doesn’t taste like a grape the only shared quality I knew of was the squirt factor and for that matter all of the citrus fruits had that ability. Maybe it was color, like the orange, but then what about the lemon or the lime? I figured I would run across some long forgotten fact from a science class in my past.

After we covered the kingdom, species, order, genus and family, after I read who discovered it and where. Even after I knew which country produces the largest amount of grapefruits, I did discover why they are called grapefruits.  I now know it reacts and affects the metabolism of 85 different drugs. For on top of not being an avid reader I am clearly and unconventional one. In my search I fully expected to see “the reason they are called grapefruits is…” in boldface-red italics. What I got was”they grow in clusters like grapes”. This allowed me to practically overlook the very piece of information I was in fact seeking. Perhaps grapefruit will the subject of my first “HAIKU”.

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01 May 2013
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So A Man Thinketh

My father who I loved dearly, who was a tremendous man, used to tell me this very thing when I was down on myself. I rarely listened, I don’t even think I was able to grasp what he was in fact saying to me on the slightest level. I thought he was being kind and obligatory. I did not see what he saw.

I don’t want to make my blog all about me, but I cannot completely avoid interjecting me in some places. I realize that the thoughts, ideas, and experiences of life are shared ones. Sometimes we all need the same type of reminders. Sometimes we need someone to pull us back and anchor us into place.

God is that which we need. He is all that we need, but He goes a step further, He provides us with others to help us in ways that we do not even realize. We look up and there is a solution, we look up and there is a comforter, we look up and there is a provider. The key here is, that we look up.

Dove did an experiment on a group of women, it was a venture into self discovery. This experiment was all about how we see ourselves in comparison to how others see us. When these women were asked to describe themselves they first talked about what they didn’t have or what wasn’t so good. Then these same women were described by other people who had just met them but asked to spend time with them and get to know them. The results were astonishing, yet I could not help but wonder what would have happened if Dove had gotten people who actually knew and cared about the women. God sees us as we can be, as He knows we can be.  Therefore what He is seeing is what we are.He doesn’t look at us for our imperfections for they are many. When He sees us He see beauty, tenderness , compassion, kindness. He sees love. He sees this through a father’s eyes. So A Man Thinketh….

My father who I loved dearly, who was a tremendous man, used to tell his beloved daughter this very thing when she was down on herself. Though she heard, she rarely listened. I don’t even think she was able to grasp what he was, in fact, saying to her on the slightest level. She thought he was being kind and obligatory. She didn’t know or understand what a beautiful gift she had been given, when our Heavenly Father gave her to him. She did not know what a beautiful gift her father saw, that his Heavenly Father had given to him.

Don’t be so hard on yourself, believe in yourself, strive to be what God sees. If you don’t make it, know He loves you anyway. In His eyes you are perfect.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged , ,
30 Apr 2013

Looks Matter?

The thought of this made me smile. I truly, truly appreciate beauty. The good Lord has provided us all with an array of nice things to look at from stunning seascapes to beautiful faces.

Yet in the wake of failed relationships, where the obvious prerequisites were met, the idea of a beautiful mind is very appealing. In the place where breathtaking good looks is replaced with engaging conversation. One substitutes deep soulful eyes and they are  now interchangeable with intriguing ideas. The cute button nose you so admire takes the form of quick wit. The fantastic physique gives way to solemn comforting thoughts.

I found myself captivated by words and thought patterns that made me stop and grab each word. I dissect the ideas placed before me. Now my mind is experiencing joy and ecstasy with the same intense forces as my physical body has. My mind hungers for more. Yet another growing pain, in yet another form. Brad has been replaced by Albert…. well not quite.

As time goes on we gain a clearer understanding of ourselves and those we relate to, but our ability to convey thoughts and feelings sometimes get lost in the translation. You can find yourself in a “no man’s land” with someone who you thought you knew.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but intelligence is a matter of fact. It is time to dig into something more solid and substantial.

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27 Apr 2013
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It’s All About “ME”

The title implies, that is which  is true. Call me selfish, because that is exactly what I am.  I am also a deceptive being who hides behind things; my feelings and emotions lurk just below the surface, yet a very primitive thing gives me away, The Look Upon My Face.

When you raise a family your obligation is to them first and foremost.  However, as time goes on things progress and suddenly everyone is an adult and they are living their life, now there is you left. Maybe you missed your chance earlier in life for that self-discovery. It is not too late.

I suggested to my children they live alone before the responsibilities  of  being a spouse and father took over in their lives. I think everyone needs to try to get to know “self” first. I did this and my time as a single adult was a happy time. However, I have come to realize that the individual I came to know and like quite a lot, was not a person who would fit into my current living condition. Being alone does not teach you to share and put any need above your very own. In the real world there are going to be others around you. Never before has “No man is an island” held more true.

Lately, I have been on a mission to get into a condition that I feel is more palatable to “ME”. I feel closer than ever to attaining that goal, and I do attribute it to the fact that I am allowing myself to do something for “ME”. “Rock Hard Abs” here I come. Pictures to follow!

In closing I want to caution you against going too far in the other direction in your quest to care for  and/or love your individual “ME”. Do not become obsessive in this new self love; follow this rule as always “nothing to excess everything in moderation” and you cannot go wrong.

 
Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , ,
18 Apr 2013
4 Comments

Just Ask

“Deal Breakers” you may ask yourself or maybe it is asked of you how much more of this would/will you take? Do you know the answer? What about the people around you and I am not just talking about any people, I mean the ones you say you love and care about. Just how much do you actually know about these folks?

Okay when is the birthday, what’s the favorite color, food, or designer? The most embarrassing thing that has ever happened and the happiest moment. These are just a few examples; but to be honest none of these matter if they are NOT the one that counts for, the one who counts to you.

There is nothing worse than thinking you know someone and finding out you don’t. However, I think it is equally disappointing to that loved one to discover this same information. Knowledge does not always come easy and one of the best ways to obtain information is to simply ask the right questions. One cannot assume they know all there is to know about another, by virtue of mere exposure. Here’s a secret, we do not reveal ourselves right away.

It is a mistake to leave something that is important to you to chance. I have pointed out many times, that we ourselves do not know or cannot always explain ourselves; therefore how can we expect someone outside of ourselves to do this very same thing? It is slightly unreasonable.

I am not excusing a repeat offender, but I do say it is very possible for someone close to you not to know important facts about you or to even forget these important facts. Give them the benefit of the doubt.   Therefore, my suggestion/my solution is “just ask”. Ask if you don’t know something, ask if you want something, but do ask. Do not house animosity towards someone close to you for simply being human, it happens to the best of “us”.

Posted in Quickbits and tagged , ,
17 Apr 2013
1 Comment

Time In Purgatory

Not being Catholic, I believe Purgatory is among some of the most familiar concepts non-Catholics are familiar with. Now note I said familiar, NOT knowledgeable. Through time and interpretation the definition of Purgatory has changed, but in general most associate it with purification; pain and suffering on a temporary basis.

As I wrote that I allowed my mid to wander a bit briefly to a time period in which people were tortured and killed in public in the name of God? The concepts surrounding God in Christianity does address His wrath, but what on Earth ever made people think they were qualified and capable to do God’s work, when it comes to punishment. God is quite capable of handling ALL things Himself. Certainly given the nature of man he would not rely on us to handle such a thing. Man, in his ever present arrogance, decided man was capable, qualified, and he therefore acted. I will move on.

Thus, what we associate Purgatory with is what man has decided it should be. I will not get into a religious debate, I have said before I am not versed enough. I do possess a minor understanding; and can see how concepts in the wrong hands, even religious ones, can get carried away.

During an unhappy time or particularly difficult period, do you ask WHY? When you ask why, do you also provide yourself with an answer, an explanation. For if you do then you are ” treading dangerous waters”. God allows us free will, but when decision that we make do not turn out like we thought they should or were not to our liking we blame God in one way or another.

On a massive scale the idea associated with prison; the way we deal with crime and punishment, is this a distorted solution. For how many actually come away from that experience better than before? I believe you had to have good in you, but you just needed something to bring it out of you, in order to survive the ordeal and then have the desire to be new and improved.

One thing the idea of Purgatory does, is it puts you in a place that allows you to think; although I cannot and do not see how one could think or reflect in a place where pain and suffering were so great. Perhaps, the submission part is all that is needed here.

I think God wants us because he loves us, nothing more. If we examine other aspect of our humanity we are not a very good gamble. He gives us free will to do right or wrong. We are not worthy, yet he loves us anyway.  On those bad or challenging days remember this. You have the reins over your life, and what you do with this control is entirely within your power. Make your choices wisely.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged , , , , ,

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