hafacenturyncounting

Motivated by a lack of material.

Archive for the tag “wisdom”

07 May 2013
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A Boat Load Of Regrets

I short “No Regrets” was the comment I got from one of my readers. I loved the entire comment though. It is nice when people read you and have something  to say. This reader is a friend and on more than one occasion has inspired a piece or two. As a special note there are a number of my friends and family who get me to thinking, thus a blog appears. However, don’t look for yourself in my writing I value you far too much to put YOU specifically out here on the information highway without consulting or even warning you first. Remember the catch word here is INSPIRE.  Also “Boat” was not the word I wanted to use in the title  either.

Keeping the tempo of this “up” and holding the attention of my readers is very important. I do not want to become predictable, for I know you will loose interest rapidly. Yet in being real, I am NOT “Polly Sunshine”. I try not to be a fatalist and if I had to characterize myself I would say I’m a realist. I had a rough week and it took its toll on my weekend, my precious-longed for weekend. The collection of disasters had me looking back, trying to make sense of it all, I found myself lost in the sea of disdain with you-know-what, and I was sinking fast.

We are not alone is these human feelings and emotions. We are all simply trying to explain ourselves to a better place. Words you would have said, turns you should have taken roads you should have traveled. Lest we forget how much time we would like to retrieve. Boat Load of Regrets, No Regrets the only thing that actually has a marked change is your perspective.

In closing I got quite a surprising laugh as the events of the week and weekend were recounted. In a relaxed moment with yet another disaster averted, it was quipped as follows; “Yeah I thought things couldn’t get any worse and then the roof fell in”. Well that actually happened; we lived to tell about it, fixed it, and yes somehow managed to get a chuckle out of it all.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged ,
05 May 2013

HAIKU and Grapefruits

This may seem random and perhaps that is because it is.

During my quiet time, I visit with words. I came across “HAIKU” in an email from a writer friend. I am not admittedly the most avid reader, although I love light research. In short I would have to be characterized as a writer who does not read a great deal. Poetry is an aspect of writing that I enjoy reading far more than I do writing it. I missed “HAIKU”. Well upon research I found out the history, saw examples, and was so enamored with it I bothered downloading a book on the subject. I may actually try my hand at “HAIKU” in the near future. Feels fun.

The grapefruit came for a more primitive place, I was eating one. For years I have enjoyed grapefruits especially the ruby red variety. I was familiar with it as a source of vitamin C and association with weight loss programs, this particular morning I was eating with intent to reap benefits from both of these known attributes. I had a Dr. Seuss moment”, “Why do they  it a grapefruit?” I mean it doesn’t look like a grape, it doesn’t taste like a grape the only shared quality I knew of was the squirt factor and for that matter all of the citrus fruits had that ability. Maybe it was color, like the orange, but then what about the lemon or the lime? I figured I would run across some long forgotten fact from a science class in my past.

After we covered the kingdom, species, order, genus and family, after I read who discovered it and where. Even after I knew which country produces the largest amount of grapefruits, I did discover why they are called grapefruits.  I now know it reacts and affects the metabolism of 85 different drugs. For on top of not being an avid reader I am clearly and unconventional one. In my search I fully expected to see “the reason they are called grapefruits is…” in boldface-red italics. What I got was”they grow in clusters like grapes”. This allowed me to practically overlook the very piece of information I was in fact seeking. Perhaps grapefruit will the subject of my first “HAIKU”.

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01 May 2013
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So A Man Thinketh

My father who I loved dearly, who was a tremendous man, used to tell me this very thing when I was down on myself. I rarely listened, I don’t even think I was able to grasp what he was in fact saying to me on the slightest level. I thought he was being kind and obligatory. I did not see what he saw.

I don’t want to make my blog all about me, but I cannot completely avoid interjecting me in some places. I realize that the thoughts, ideas, and experiences of life are shared ones. Sometimes we all need the same type of reminders. Sometimes we need someone to pull us back and anchor us into place.

God is that which we need. He is all that we need, but He goes a step further, He provides us with others to help us in ways that we do not even realize. We look up and there is a solution, we look up and there is a comforter, we look up and there is a provider. The key here is, that we look up.

Dove did an experiment on a group of women, it was a venture into self discovery. This experiment was all about how we see ourselves in comparison to how others see us. When these women were asked to describe themselves they first talked about what they didn’t have or what wasn’t so good. Then these same women were described by other people who had just met them but asked to spend time with them and get to know them. The results were astonishing, yet I could not help but wonder what would have happened if Dove had gotten people who actually knew and cared about the women. God sees us as we can be, as He knows we can be.  Therefore what He is seeing is what we are.He doesn’t look at us for our imperfections for they are many. When He sees us He see beauty, tenderness , compassion, kindness. He sees love. He sees this through a father’s eyes. So A Man Thinketh….

My father who I loved dearly, who was a tremendous man, used to tell his beloved daughter this very thing when she was down on herself. Though she heard, she rarely listened. I don’t even think she was able to grasp what he was, in fact, saying to her on the slightest level. She thought he was being kind and obligatory. She didn’t know or understand what a beautiful gift she had been given, when our Heavenly Father gave her to him. She did not know what a beautiful gift her father saw, that his Heavenly Father had given to him.

Don’t be so hard on yourself, believe in yourself, strive to be what God sees. If you don’t make it, know He loves you anyway. In His eyes you are perfect.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged , ,
30 Apr 2013

Looks Matter?

The thought of this made me smile. I truly, truly appreciate beauty. The good Lord has provided us all with an array of nice things to look at from stunning seascapes to beautiful faces.

Yet in the wake of failed relationships, where the obvious prerequisites were met, the idea of a beautiful mind is very appealing. In the place where breathtaking good looks is replaced with engaging conversation. One substitutes deep soulful eyes and they are  now interchangeable with intriguing ideas. The cute button nose you so admire takes the form of quick wit. The fantastic physique gives way to solemn comforting thoughts.

I found myself captivated by words and thought patterns that made me stop and grab each word. I dissect the ideas placed before me. Now my mind is experiencing joy and ecstasy with the same intense forces as my physical body has. My mind hungers for more. Yet another growing pain, in yet another form. Brad has been replaced by Albert…. well not quite.

As time goes on we gain a clearer understanding of ourselves and those we relate to, but our ability to convey thoughts and feelings sometimes get lost in the translation. You can find yourself in a “no man’s land” with someone who you thought you knew.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but intelligence is a matter of fact. It is time to dig into something more solid and substantial.

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27 Apr 2013
2 Comments

It’s All About “ME”

The title implies, that is which  is true. Call me selfish, because that is exactly what I am.  I am also a deceptive being who hides behind things; my feelings and emotions lurk just below the surface, yet a very primitive thing gives me away, The Look Upon My Face.

When you raise a family your obligation is to them first and foremost.  However, as time goes on things progress and suddenly everyone is an adult and they are living their life, now there is you left. Maybe you missed your chance earlier in life for that self-discovery. It is not too late.

I suggested to my children they live alone before the responsibilities  of  being a spouse and father took over in their lives. I think everyone needs to try to get to know “self” first. I did this and my time as a single adult was a happy time. However, I have come to realize that the individual I came to know and like quite a lot, was not a person who would fit into my current living condition. Being alone does not teach you to share and put any need above your very own. In the real world there are going to be others around you. Never before has “No man is an island” held more true.

Lately, I have been on a mission to get into a condition that I feel is more palatable to “ME”. I feel closer than ever to attaining that goal, and I do attribute it to the fact that I am allowing myself to do something for “ME”. “Rock Hard Abs” here I come. Pictures to follow!

In closing I want to caution you against going too far in the other direction in your quest to care for  and/or love your individual “ME”. Do not become obsessive in this new self love; follow this rule as always “nothing to excess everything in moderation” and you cannot go wrong.

 
Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , ,
18 Apr 2013
4 Comments

Just Ask

“Deal Breakers” you may ask yourself or maybe it is asked of you how much more of this would/will you take? Do you know the answer? What about the people around you and I am not just talking about any people, I mean the ones you say you love and care about. Just how much do you actually know about these folks?

Okay when is the birthday, what’s the favorite color, food, or designer? The most embarrassing thing that has ever happened and the happiest moment. These are just a few examples; but to be honest none of these matter if they are NOT the one that counts for, the one who counts to you.

There is nothing worse than thinking you know someone and finding out you don’t. However, I think it is equally disappointing to that loved one to discover this same information. Knowledge does not always come easy and one of the best ways to obtain information is to simply ask the right questions. One cannot assume they know all there is to know about another, by virtue of mere exposure. Here’s a secret, we do not reveal ourselves right away.

It is a mistake to leave something that is important to you to chance. I have pointed out many times, that we ourselves do not know or cannot always explain ourselves; therefore how can we expect someone outside of ourselves to do this very same thing? It is slightly unreasonable.

I am not excusing a repeat offender, but I do say it is very possible for someone close to you not to know important facts about you or to even forget these important facts. Give them the benefit of the doubt.   Therefore, my suggestion/my solution is “just ask”. Ask if you don’t know something, ask if you want something, but do ask. Do not house animosity towards someone close to you for simply being human, it happens to the best of “us”.

Posted in Quickbits and tagged , ,
17 Apr 2013
1 Comment

Time In Purgatory

Not being Catholic, I believe Purgatory is among some of the most familiar concepts non-Catholics are familiar with. Now note I said familiar, NOT knowledgeable. Through time and interpretation the definition of Purgatory has changed, but in general most associate it with purification; pain and suffering on a temporary basis.

As I wrote that I allowed my mid to wander a bit briefly to a time period in which people were tortured and killed in public in the name of God? The concepts surrounding God in Christianity does address His wrath, but what on Earth ever made people think they were qualified and capable to do God’s work, when it comes to punishment. God is quite capable of handling ALL things Himself. Certainly given the nature of man he would not rely on us to handle such a thing. Man, in his ever present arrogance, decided man was capable, qualified, and he therefore acted. I will move on.

Thus, what we associate Purgatory with is what man has decided it should be. I will not get into a religious debate, I have said before I am not versed enough. I do possess a minor understanding; and can see how concepts in the wrong hands, even religious ones, can get carried away.

During an unhappy time or particularly difficult period, do you ask WHY? When you ask why, do you also provide yourself with an answer, an explanation. For if you do then you are ” treading dangerous waters”. God allows us free will, but when decision that we make do not turn out like we thought they should or were not to our liking we blame God in one way or another.

On a massive scale the idea associated with prison; the way we deal with crime and punishment, is this a distorted solution. For how many actually come away from that experience better than before? I believe you had to have good in you, but you just needed something to bring it out of you, in order to survive the ordeal and then have the desire to be new and improved.

One thing the idea of Purgatory does, is it puts you in a place that allows you to think; although I cannot and do not see how one could think or reflect in a place where pain and suffering were so great. Perhaps, the submission part is all that is needed here.

I think God wants us because he loves us, nothing more. If we examine other aspect of our humanity we are not a very good gamble. He gives us free will to do right or wrong. We are not worthy, yet he loves us anyway.  On those bad or challenging days remember this. You have the reins over your life, and what you do with this control is entirely within your power. Make your choices wisely.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged , , , , ,
15 Apr 2013
1 Comment

Maybe God Is Trying To Tell You Something

I was headed to work early one morning. Not in a particularly good mood. My job was 45 miles away one direction, I disliked my work, my co-workers thought I had denied them something due to my mere presence, and the Postmaster did not want me there. This was my reality at the time. It took me about an hour and 15 minutes to get to Acworth  from my home in Duluth. However more than my travel time to the job, I had to prepare myself for the environment. I was angry and distant from everyone at that place, all I wanted to do was get away from there. Hating my job took on a whole new meaning at Acworth.

I was headed north on the I-75 one cold January morning about 5:15 a.m. when I saw the red lights flashing. I did not have a lot of traffic around me but I did have to slow down. In the darkness I could not make out the vehicle, I do not even know how many were involved. I knew, I could feel someone was leaving this Earth at that moment. I believe I witnessed a soul passing. I felt it and I was overcome with emotion. When I arrived at the post office that same morning and opened it I sat down after it was disarmed and cried.  I did not know it at the time but before the month of January was out; I would be transferred to a location less than 6 miles away from my home, working in an environment where my co-workers held no animosity for me, and my boss was glad to have an assistant.

As I saw smoke rising from what was left of what had to be a car, I was eerily reminded of  bad accident I was involved in back in California in 1989. You don’t forget head on collisions that you walk away from. The same misty like smoke passed in front of me when my Jaguar came to a stop just short of a brick wall. My father had only passed away less than a month earlier. I always felt he was with me and protecting me that night.

However, the message that was sent to me was how quickly things can change and do not put you heart into “things”. I loved that CAR, it was all I had wanted in a vehicle. It meant way too much to me and as I sat pinned in it unable to move. I remember crying for the loss of my car. I also remember crying as I realized the Lord was speaking to me about something more than that CAR. I did not realize I was doing it before the accident, but I stopped worshiping things that night.

Sometimes you are in a situation that does not allow you to see beyond yourself, you are unable to see the “big picture”. God will step in when and where you least expect it and show you a way or wake you up so you don’t miss something you need to see or act upon. I know; He has literally waken me from sleep to show me something. What do you do when God is trying to tell you something? It is not always easy to read, it may be unclear to you what the Lord is saying to you at the time, but you know there is a message and it is to you. I will tell you what I do, I pray. Not anything in particular, I just pray to let God know I hear Him. I just did.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged ,
14 Apr 2013

They Are Getting Long

I am not trying to be long-winded or in this case long-penned, but it is happening. The last few post have been over 700 words. I have even created category (QUICKBITS), that houses my “shorties” in it. However, what do you supposed these lengthy pieces are all about? Personally I give it to comfort, time, and a clearer head. Not necessarily in that order.

I decided to go back to the gym, now I did not consciously decide to stop. I had allowed the stresses of my life make me feel so overwhelmed I did not feel like doing anything but staying in a constant state of being aware of my constant state of worry and stress. My confusion and discord was spreading to wherever I was (i.e. my office, my dinner table, the family room, and my nightstand). This had to stop.

I  picked up all of my confusion from the respective areas, went in the office( I stayed out of the office most of the time because it was such a catastrophe), and did not come out until I had organized the paperwork. The fog was beginning to clear and things began to make sense again. Working-out is a release; given that why wouldn’t I want to give myself a break, never mind the added perk of getting firm and fit. I started back and I felt better immediately and saw results externally within a very short time period. Placebo effect, perhaps, but in the meantime I will continue. Think chocolate is addicting, try adrenaline.

My work hours had changed, but it seemed as though I never had any time. This came about due to the illusion of being overwhelmed due to the mess I was exposing myself to. Once the mess was cleared away, I no longer had to sit around/look at/concentrate on, the impending clean up project. Now I had time to dedicate to the blog.

Finally, I know what I want to say and how I want to say it to my slowly increasing audience. I have found a comfort zone here. I work hard at NOT being too personal in my writing. I do have opinions and point them out, but mostly I want to simply bring observations to light. I think this is the best format to encourage interaction and interest. The blogs are getting a bit longer, this is true. I love to write, I like to talk, when I reach people it is because I am reaching out to them. I don’t mind extending that hand, just don’t leave me “hangin” out there too long.

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14 Apr 2013

Personally, I Am Very Private

This is a prelude to a piece that will be included in another section on the blog.

Although I am not a celebrated author (here I go..) I can tell a pretty good story, I think my writing is above average, and if only by the sheer numbers I have produced some readable work. I missed the point completely, at first.  I couldn’t explain it, I couldn’t put it into words, then I stopped and thought about it. I was amazed in a way, disappointed in a way, but now I do understand.

In a world and in an era where everyone wants to be seen, everyone wants to be heard, everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame; I got a surprise. Now I was going to do a piece about someone I do in fact know, and I was going to try to tell their very interesting, historic story. I prepared to interview them, I had an idea how I wanted to do this piece, I wanted to tell their story as individuals, but I wanted my readers to know about them as a couple as well.

However on my last encounter when I reminded and inquired , of the husband, if he would be ready to speak with me on my next visit.  In a pleasant way he told me he did not mind me telling his story as long as it was not going to be “naming names”. He went on to say there were things he just didn’t want to talk about and then he asked(may have forgotten) what I was going to do with this information. I think we have a tendency to look at our seniors with kindness and pity, we view them as grumpy and not in control  but  what this does is deprive, whether knowingly or not, them of what they deserve most of all RESPECT.

While telling their story may have been okay with his wife, maybe it really wasn’t clear or thought through. I say that because once again I am dealing and in the same mindset, with a society of  folks whose taglines could easily be “HEY OVER HERE LOOK AT ME!!!”

The aspiring writer in me was surprisingly not let down. This would be yet another challenge, and I saw an opportunity to not get one piece out of this encounter but two. The first is this piece, drawing attention to the fact there are some private people left.  The second will be in the Fictional Accounts category. It will not be lacking in content.

Back to the matter at hand, I thought how fortunate I was to have these particular people available to me. I have always, since childhood, enjoyed talking to people I was junior to in a chronological sense. I also enjoy talking to intelligent people. Longevity, in the most general way, has to be given credence to some degree of wisdom one gains by the virtue of mere existence. I both respect and admire my friends who will be the subject of my Fictional Accounts story, I just had to be reminded of this.

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