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Archive for the tag “communication”

21 Feb 2013

What A Way To Celebrate

In honor of Black History Month I submit this with mixed emotions.

My facebook page has two stories that disturb me greatly. One is of an old man accused of and then  fired from his job, as an upper level executive, for racial rants and slapping the child of a stranger on board a Delta flight. The other story is of a nurse suing a  hospital in Michigan for obliging the request of a racist new father, that no black nurse care for his newborn son in the neonatal unit.

The story about the man slapping the child disturbed me because it seems as though his excuse was going to be the alcohol. Now there is an out-and-out denial. The hospital story had me reeling in the barrage of comments(and I added my two-cents-worth) ranging from “How could this be happening in-this-day and age?” to “I don’t want no blacks handling my kid”.

Law versus ethic, personal responsibility versus politically correct.  Yet people from both sides of this subject of Black History Month would both share the common question, “Why is it necessary to celebrate such a thing?” Here is why.

Our old “friend” racial prejudice is alive and well in 2013. This saddens me because I had hoped to witness it’s death by now. Yet in my lifetime, I realize this may not come to pass any time soon. Our society is becoming insulated to the mere existence on one hand, on the other we are hyper-sensitive, and finally we are in a state of denial.

The idea that an adult (or anyone for that matter) would have the audacity to say such ugly things to/about a child and then proceed to put their hand on that same child is appalling.The nurse is scrutinized and accused of being an opportunist for initiating a lawsuit. The lawsuit viewed as a way to make-a-buck off of a frivolous complaint?  Yet the hospital is excused for this particular action because they could have been liable for NOT complying to the father’s demands.

We are victims still, but now we have earned the title of perpetrator and opportunist. How does a victims receive justice in a society such as ours? A society that selectively allows success based on racism and race, but cries foul when laws and policies are enacted to prevent and discourages these practices.

Two stories but the same moral,” Fools who do not know history are destined to repeat it.” Wrapped up in our everyday life it is easy to forget and overlook, damaged by the hurt of injustice past and present we want to forget. However stories like the ones mentioned in this piece are reminders, reminders that we can not let our guards down. Our old foe is lurking about and still can be bold enough to launch an attack. The only way to keep him at bay is to be aware of his existence and not foolish enough to believe he is no longer harmful. What better way of combating a negative than to  disarm it with a positive. Celebrate our victories, contributions and accomplishments. Know you are worthy, know that you count, and remember it ALWAYS.

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20 Feb 2013

“Pity-Party” For One

Face it, at one point in time or another you have  been the guest of honor at one of these.  When you are told “it’s all in your mind”, no truer words could have been spoken in reference to the “pity-party”. For not only does it take up considerable time, it occupies a bit of space in your life as well.

In the process of being in this down state you not only throw yourself into that whirlpool, but you drag others close to you along for the ride. More of the same. This is a catch 22 , for when I could be most effective in writing this, I am battling to get out of this state and when I am in a good, positive mood I really do NOT want to revisit this time-period.

On a bright-sun-filled late winter/early spring day. I am going to take you there if you are not already, and I am gonna try to take you away from there if you are.

It was a whirlwind romance, you couldn’t have scripted it better then it ends without warning. You spend countless hours,days and weeks go by because YOU cannot figure out what went wrong.   Everything falls into place, you like the same foods, your tastes in music flows so well it is symphonic, you mutually agree to take it slow, but in reality you aren’t because this feels right OR you’ll be damned if anyone can resist you… then out of the blue she is in a relationship with someone else.

Face it folks there are people who” just get you”. Some are well meaning, some are not. When we gel and sync with another someone we call it Chemistry, when in fact what it might be is a simple chemical reaction. You may complete a lab, but that does not mean you will pass the course. Our society makes it seem as though there is a guidebook to finding a “soul-mate”. We want to believe it therefore it is so. However, such a guide is as make-believe as the fairy-tales it tries to direct you to.

My suggestion is to abandon that place you are in and go find a real party, a real place with real people. You would probably be surprised at how many others just left a place that is similar to the one you escaped from. Remember all of us attend these “pity-parties” occasionally, the difference is how long you chose to stay.

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17 Feb 2013
2 Comments

Was It Just Sex.. Really?

On an average day, with nothing in particular to do you look up and there he(or she) is. That someone from your past. Do you remember an incident like this?I am going to give you two scenarios. You thought the face/body looked familiar but it wasn’t until you saw the unique motion/characteristic; you fill in the blank here that you knew for certain. Your eyes meet, at this uncomfortable point in time you have mili-seconds to decide, do I pretend I don’t know/see this person, or do I acknowledge and approach. Well here you are not going to get that choice, because this person is approaching you in a amiable fashion and certainly you cannot be an ass. After being greeted with the open arms and hug you begin talking. You basically do not hear a word, you are smiling and nodding in agreement, for you are in another place.

You are waiting for your spouse/loved one and you hear your name you turn to the sound and there he/she is… Looking rather fantastic and gazing at you like the feeling is mutual. You observe every inch of them as the approach nears. Of course there is an embrace followed by a pregnant pause and seemingly it lasts forever, because you are in another place.

Who are these people are they passengers or just passers-by on our trip though life. Was it just sex.. really? Rufus did a song “Please Pardon Me” and it would be  my choice for the theme song of this piece, if it had a theme song. Look the song up if you don’t know it, but if you do know it and remember the lyric you will understand.

Human beings are sexual creatures;  we like to have sex, in many  instances we must have sex. If you tell a mental health professional you are not having a desire for sex and there is NO physical reason for this, he will promptly prescribe medication or at the very least take your problem/complaint/condition  quite a bit more seriously.

In our innocent youth an exciting, somewhat forbidden discovery. As we mature both chronologically and viscerally a choice to be enjoyed and controlled with our own individual discretion. Again  with time, progressing to the occasion treat or disregarded urge. Until finally we may reach the “psychotic” state, due to our physical or metal condition, of none at all.

Whether satisfying a human need or “making love”, it is a part of our lives and it’s role in our lives is changing. There are always the exceptions. The dedicated Christians who did in fact save themselves for marriage,  they have managed to and still remain true to their betrothed. The self-practicing/self proclaimed celibates, you can’t miss what you’ve never had. However for the remaining folks; stay healthy, happy, and active in it for as long as life permits.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , , , , ,
15 Feb 2013

A Conservative Twist

Much like a spoiled child, whose behavior leaves much to be desired, is what one comes to expect from people who claim to be conservative. I have known a spoiled child or two in my life. I can honestly say I have lived with some. What they all have in common is wanting their way.

There is a sense of entitlement when it comes to them, but everyone else look out. They can see, point-out, judge, and ultimately disapprove of each shortcoming of other individuals. They are inconsiderate and massive complainers when the least of  difficulties comes their way. Yet, their solution to the ills of the world rest on the shoulders of someone other than them.

The unyielding judgment is plastered onto their faces like a tasteless tattoo. I watched them and have watched their faces as they are in the presence of this sitting President… they hate him so. It is sad. Get this people; if our infrastructure crumbles, if people loose their lives, if industry fails, they are okay with this as long as there is no positive light shed upon this administration and more directly on this President. I was not a fan of George W. Bush but hate him….. naaah, he was just another elected official we had to live through. Perhaps it is my tiny station in life that affords me the cavalier attitude, perhaps I am just not smart enough to understand, maybe it is gender or race based.

To watch the world change and be in a constant state of denial has to be a fretful way to live and that IS what “they” do. However, they must present to others this is not what is happening. Even if little things like facts and evidence prove, as well as demonstrate, otherwise. The metaphor of the rat backed into a corner comes to mind. Simplified the rat fights, he has no choice for he is filled with fear and it is a survival instinct. Think about that rat; snarling spitting attacking with all he has in him. Think of the person who got the rat into the corner, that rat has reeked havoc with its mere existence. The rat has invaded, contaminated, and destroyed. The rat cannot be left alone to scamper away for he will multiply and possibly/more-than-likely bring others just like him back. The obvious choice is, there is no choice, get rid of the rat once and for all. Now who is the rat though? Is  our conservative the survivalist fighting to live or is he the man trying to stop the on sloth/the impending invasion. The answer is easy he is the interchangeable piece.

I am the hippie who did grow up, I loved my time in the wild and return to it periodically. It is a good thing to have and be able to do. They on the other hand never had a childhood(or conveniently forgot it), an innocent-reckless-fun time and they are mad at the world because they missed it. They shall grow old, sour, and meaner alone; that scares the fuck out of them.  Therefore, they want to make life difficult on others for that is their existence; it is their duty and sadly it is their only joy. Truth is they would rather DIE then to see our nation be successful under President Obama. I say,” God grant them all their wish PLEASE!”

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03 Feb 2013

Y

The short title is to give you relief from what I believe will be a long read, but then we will see how it flows.

After “The Week From Hell”, I settled into what I hoped would be a calm, renewing weekend.  I lie to myself, push myself, and try very hard to self-motivate. However, I got hit really hard this week. In spite of all the things I know I have to live for this weekend, I said, “You know what, this is BS.”

I got to thinking how many other folks out there are faced with such a week, month, day (no particular order here)? I can tell you how draining it is. I can tell you that there is a feeling of being lost, for you are only searching for answers to take your mind off what is ultimately troubling you. With the mental anguish there then comes a physical feeling of sickness. I think this is where you know your return will be difficult and the result of a force of will.

I need to believe that what I am going through will make me stronger or there is a lesson to be learned. I must say and I imagine some of you will relate to this, ” I could easily exist in a vegetating state right now, my reality is too REAL.” I decided that what I will do is turn everything off and let my faith carry me this weekend. I will make a couple of calls to let loved ones know I am still alive and kickin(but not high), then I retreat to my “cave”. This is a period that I could use answers, what better place to start than “the information highway”, right?  Yet I truly feel like my temporary disconnect will do me much more good than hanging out in my normal places.

Therefore, I signed off and would return 48 hours later. Hoping at best I would be renewed and ready to go and the very least I would be renewed and ready to go. I tied up the loose ends, made my phone calls and turned my laptop off.

Here it is; I did not quite make the entire 48 hours and I really do have a renewed sense, though my journey to this place has been riddled with peaks and valleys. It is healthy and productive to step back and take look at things. If in the blink of an eye or a heartbeat things can change, why should it come as a surprise that a deliberate action of close examination would not do the very same.

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03 Feb 2013
1 Comment

Multiple Personalities….Or Just Two Faces

So who are you today? Most people feel as though they are exactly who they were the day before, the same person they have been for however long they have existed on this planet. Yet I think we all have re-invented ourselves once or twice. It could be as simple as a weight loss program, hair style change or as complicated as major surgery( plastic or other).

I laughing refer to myself as different names and variations of my name, but I genuinely TRY to be as “real” as I can with people. I am polite, concerned, friendly, disinterested, faithful, loyal, mean, moody, helpful, and kind to name a few. However, what I am not is disingenuous. Yes, people once again I am writing from the heart. I had an experience just seer my soul. As I point out repeatedly I KNOW I am not alone in what I feel and experience so here is yet another trip into “50-hood”.

Never mix business with pleasure, I had a gut feeling but I didn’t want to accept it and most of all I didn’t want to be right. However, as much as I down-play my sensitivity I know people. Maybe it is a glance you catch out of the corner of your eye, maybe it is electric impulses your body picks up, I can’t really tell you all I know is during my time with this individual(she was a customer) I  always held in the back of my mind,” Oh I would hate to find out/discover she was a… not as nice/cool as she seemed”. Damned if I wasn’t right though. The killer in situations like this is that they can go on indefinitely. I “kick” myself as I think of her. I can still hear in that Tennessee drawl, “Hey Ileeeen”. I recall the first time I heard a southerner with a southern accent say my name. I laughed to myself thinking, ” wow they speak so slowly..” Years of living here has taught me “they” want to speak that way, it is NOT something they cannot help.

My “girlbuddy”; she fit the typical southern woman profile, nice nasty and she took it to a whole other level. She came off like sunshine; she was pretty, seemingly smart and rather worldly (that was shocking to me in itself).  She was not my friend, she was friendly and to the point the mistake was understandable. Her motives were simple; get the most I can and if pretending is an avenue, I will take it. There was NOT an honest bone in her body. She smiled in my face and mounted up things against me. Then one day rather than confront me she lied and told me she could not use my services anymore.  “Dropped me like a lead balloon”.

Look this has happened before and will probably happen again. My business and I are NOT infallible. We can debate professionalism and what the client deserves vs the provider delivers, there will be some level of disagreement. However, I still think everyone should know the truth(You Owe Me The Truth9/28/2011).

Five months after the fact I found out the truth, third party of course. I do not know the depth or detail of what the problem actually was, but I do know that not only did my “girlbuddy” lie to me about letting me go, she has bothered to “bad-mouth” me as well. That is not the most damaging thing I feel; I hate being right in this case and I know that I cannot be surprised by anything people who you work for do.

I violated one of my carnal rules and I will make every effort to avoid such a mistake again. Before I un-friended her on Facebook and blocked her and the entire family; I took a last look at her friends, saw the diversity (yeah right) of them, I remember her clients and I said,” Yeah Tennessee; you shoulda known better!” Well now I do.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , , , ,
30 Jan 2013
1 Comment

A Big Company That Cares????

Well that statement seems to be an oxymoron in itself. A few months ago I would have written this and happily proclaimed there was one and I personally had found/discovered this truth for myself! Today, that is not the case. Gather around as I tell the tale of my  trip with AT&T.

AT&T has been around for awhile and to call them “big” is quite the understatement. Yet for the sake of argument lets do just that, AT&T is BIG. In November I had a “wonderful” chance encounter with an AT&T representative. This lady was knowledgeable, professional, and (yes the unheard of adjective in customer service) NICE! This lady” single-handedly” convinced me to leave my cell phone carrier of 10 years to come over to AT&T. She showed and promised me I could have two lines for what I was paying for one with my carrier at the time AND the phones I was getting would be the new “i-phones( I was not due for an upgrade for several months). Okay being the frugal individual I am( alright I am down-right cheap) and after a lengthy discussion with a lady who seemingly did what she said (for she had actually helped me with another issue with AT&T in the most masterful fashion) I submitted.  I left the comfort of an old provider for a new shiny one, fully adored and equipped with i-phones.

I was happy. I told my family and friends in California, I told my friends in Georgia, AT&T was the s…”stuff that dreams are made of”. My love affair was short lived; first the phones were back-ordered so a one to two day turn-around turned into 10 days, the bill was not the same as what I had been paying  for one phone it was twice much, and the 100.00 gift card, showing their appreciation for me taking this new service, well it still has NOT arrived to date.  Trust me, the 30 days cut off time has LONG expired.

I have spent more time on the phone with AT&T trying to get what I was promised than I have used the new i-phones(of course this is an exaggeration but used to illustrate a level of frustration that is ENORMOUS) for other purposes. I have e-mailed my wonderful contact time and again. Part of me wants to believe she is/has actually tried to get this straight for me, the other part of me has lost faith, thus this blog piece.

As I look back at this experience and wait watching the clock as the time on my contract with AT&T slowly moves closer to the end(early termination is penalized), I have to admit I fell prey to wanting something for nothing. I did not heed the warnings of a cliche’d truth, “If it seems too good to be true it probably is”. I try to justify what I did by saying, ” I was not looking to change carriers, it just happened. Yet, I know the truth I would NOT be with AT&T this day had I not been a “sheep”. I let the flashy coercion of  my need for the i-phone draw me in. Don’t let it happen to you. AT&T IS a “BIG COMPANY, and AT&T DOESN’T care about you.

Posted in As Consumers and tagged , , , , , ,
29 Jan 2013
1 Comment

Does Our Mortality Connect Our Humanity

I was once characterized as having a “Republican” way of viewing things. When this was said of me I was neither insulted or impressed. Since, this was not my political affiliation, the undertones and implications were clear to me. I happily can say, I am still friends with the individual who made that assessment.  I can also tell you LIFE has taught me that the stances I took on numerous things are subject to review, things are not just “black and white”.

More and more of our contemporaries are moving on to the next phase of life. Some touch us more than others, but we are touched just the same. When you find yourself attending more funerals than house parties it has to affect you in some way. If you knew today was your last day on Earth what would you do? How would you treat those around you? Life as you know it would be changed forever. What would be most important and how would you want it conveyed.

I will submit to you something not as final as death, but a major life altering event, a disease discovery. I will leave it to you to determine if it is terminal or not. However, you must take the position it is serious enough that simply ignoring it or going about as though it is not happening, is NOT an option. I want you to think as I relay this writer’s vantage point.

We are dealing with an individual who could never really be touched, not physically and not mentally. Life was a series of conquests and obstacles. No one could be trusted even a close confidant or a family member. To keep that protective shell intact all had to be dealt with as strangers and kept at “arms-length”.

For years of loyalty, dedication, and love the ones who were considered close were rewarded with distance and cold interaction. Then the discovery is made. Now we are afraid; we are hurting, we are confused and we expect compassion, understanding, and love.  However, as much love and affection there is your people have been beaten down. They are numb. They care but wonder how much worse will it be, for if they had you in good condition what will happen as things go bad? A frightening thought for them, a grounding point for you.

Years ago I watched George Wallace, the former governor of Alabama in an interview proclaiming a black man was “his best friend in the world”. I remember seeing  a George Wallace standing on the steps of the University of Alabama some years earlier blocking the entrance to the admissions office. I recall hearing a speech,” Segregation today, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever…”  I watched this now feeble man robbed of the vitality of his youth; his angry hot blood was now meek lukewarm plasma, and his sharp vicious tongue now slowly being silenced by age. I asked myself, after feeling a bit of consolation in seeing him in his condition, does he remember the evil that he spewed from his person. I wondered if he was really sorry for what he had done or did he fear the after-life. I asked myself why I felt good that he was in such bad shape?

We never know when our respective numbers will come up. Questions arise in a simplified form; in order for us to relate, we must have something at stake.  For example; Tobacco Magnate-“How much money would you make off that cigarette, if your ONLY child should partake and then proceed to get TB or Cancer? I’d like to know the answer.”-William “Smokey” Robinson 

You see, we do not know how really sympathetic or humble we can be if we are never challenged or our existence put on the line. Then when we are put to the test, when we have something to loose we have to ask ourselves are we making our decisions based on doing the right thing, seeing the light- our Humanity shining through or is it simple fear of retribution from sources unknown- our Mortality being exposed.

Posted in Epiphany and tagged , , , , , , ,
28 Jan 2013

All I Wanna Do Is Write

That is so very true. All I want to do is write. However, there are only so many hours in a day. My day consists of having to do another job in order for me to continue living, in hopes my dream job will come into fruition. Not a unique story but this is a glimpse of what I have to do in the meantime.

If I start my day in accordance with my workload schedule, I would probably get out of bed at 8:00 A.M. each weekday. Then I could travel to the designated job-site and begin my tasks. That is the simple  outline. The fact that there is something burning in me, and each waking hour makes me so much more aware that I not only want to write I need to write, makes this journey a difficult one.

Instead of 8:00 A.M. I wake at 6:30 A.M.  and as I roll out of bed I realize I do not have enough time to write. I should have gotten up earlier, but I didn’t go to bed until 2:30 A.M., I must sleep at some point in time. The words are pressing against me, I have to get started. Oh but I need to say my daily prayer and read at least one verse in the Bible. I need to reset for the day. Then there is my exercise regime. I cannot let myself get fat AGAIN, this takes a good 45 minutes to an hour.

When I have the time, when I am not pressed, I turn on a soft instrumental let my mind wander and the words, my words flow. That does not happen often. The human condition, the state of our society plagues me. I cannot ignore how I feel and I am compelled to write about those things.

However, today I do have the time. The time to talk about what writing means to me. I am able to feel good, revisit places and people through my writing. I am made aware of life through my writing by connecting with other writers and readers. I get to see another side of myself, that I don’t often have time for. It is an escape and a vehicle for which part of my life’s journey is made possible through. Although I question why I want to turn this feeling, this experience into a career at times. As I explore that  very question I am able to see that I equate career with a job, and as with most folks who work a job is a necessity rather than a choice. I realize how much I love to write and how wonderful it would be to do what I love, because I love it, and it make a way for me.

Recently, I was told by a fellow writer “Do what you love and the money will come”. I think about what was said and think of amazing artists I admire in the music industry. I imagine their fabulous voices as the sound resonates from what seems and feels like it is coming from deep in their very souls. I imagine the musicians who play their respective instruments with the care and patience of a considerate, passionate lover. I realize they have a relationship with their “gifts from God” and while the mere sound of what they do is so very amazing to others, they are appreciative of that very same gift. They would do what they do for free, because they do love it. I smile and I hope what I do, comes across and feels that very same way to others as well.

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26 Jan 2013
1 Comment

Elated Moon

This  is a title that will mean nothing to anyone but me. I liked the sound of it and decide to let my imagination run free…

In an artsy kind of way I want Elated Moon to feel like something special and expose something surprising about me. Who was to be surprised though? I looked at this title and came back to it for several weeks, before I was able to do what I felt was justice to it.

Transported back in time I watched each frame in magical excitement. I hadn’t felt this way in years. Anticipating the next scene, but saddened as I knew I was being drawn closer to the end. Still this was all good.

My Disney Years had returned to me; and happily I must admit, I welcomed them. In spite of being the mother of two relatively disinterested boys, I was still a serious Disney Classics Collector during their childhoods. For years the videos sat in boxes or cabinets, hidden from sight. Only on occasions, that met with my husband’s look of ” Yeah it is time to have you committed ”  did they get viewed.

My granddaughter allows me an excuse to browse the stores and watch the old videos, under the guise it isfor her. Addison, however, is a Doc McStuffins and Sophia The First fan. I have a different kind of princess for a granddaughter, but she is a princess just the same.

As I ushered in all of these good feelings soundtracks included, I could not help noticing there was a cosmic reaction all around; the weather was better, the scenery was more beautiful, all of my surroundings were just vastly improved. Once again is it “All in your mind”? It felt/feels like springtime. “Almost Like Being In Love”, this is not simply a reference to a song.

Ending Elated Moon I was faced with another challenge;  Do I continue to a climactic crescendo or fade it away softly? I did build it up kind of big. I realized this, so a soft fade wins. I hope a smile was translated here though.

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