Sleeping With Anger and Arrogance
What a combination. Add a side of frustration and the recipe is complete. Yes it is complete, but who wants any part of it? Certainly no one who is in their right mind. Sitting around marinating in ones own emotional firestorm is not healthy, especially if it is a negative firestorm.
The intent here was to present two sides from two individual positions, but that did not happen. Sometimes writing takes on a life of its own and the words write themselves. In general, the writing here on my blog is outside observations which have my personal stamp on them because I am the writer. Other times I have to stop because it seems my personal stamp is covering the entire writing. I hope I can successfully turn this generic so publishing it will not seem like a mistake. At the very least my hope is it hits a chord that gives a sense of “common ground”.
Have you ever watched someone sleep, or awakened to realize the one you were sleeping with was watching you? It is a disarming feeling isn’t it. You want to feel good about it because certainly you would not put yourself in such a vulnerable state with someone who meant you harm. However, the contrary may be the truth.
Think about saying your prayers at night. They are as much ritual as they are anything; but then if your implement a bit of hindsight you REALIZE that not only should you thank the Lord for waking you to see another day, but for protecting you through the night, through your sleep, through your most vulnerable time.
What made the anger appear? Why wouldn’t the arrogance succumb, so that the apology could soften the blows? However, with this arrogance there is no room to be humble. This fuels the anger that resides nearby. They are in the “throws” of a vicious cycle. My friend tells me, “I don’t want to hear any regrets”. I arrogantly say,” oh there will be none”. What does she know, what does she foresee? Wait, I’m supposed to be angry…and I am just that.
Then to add insult to injury you wake up with one more frown line in your face, or one more headache. Perhaps you don’t wake up, because you were unable to sleep at all and this is cause for wonder…Really. This is no way to live. Problems are resolved by getting them out there, and talking about them. They will not simply go way if you ignore them, certainly not at this level. Therefore, talk it out and don’t go to sleep with these two elements hanging over you head. It does not make for a restful night.