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Archive for the tag “truth”

10 Jan 2013
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And I Am Not Proud Of This Either

Okay, I am willing to bet that I am the only person on this planet who has  been cut off in traffic and got angry about it….. Now let’s be real. Less than 10 blasted days into the New Year, I became a victim. A victim of my lack of self-control. I have to level with you here, I HATE THAT FEELING! Not being in charge or command of a situation is humbling at the very least. Then after being humbled one must face yet another task, facing the demon. I submit to you my brief, but memorable experience.

Driving used to be fun, driving used to be a joy, but in recent times it has become a necessary evil. There are individuals with various skill levels behind the wheels now-a-days , and ALL of them THINK they are great drivers. The array of colorful creatures includes but is not limited to: the racing maniac either on your bumper or coming off of it waaaay too closely, the good Samaritan assisting every other driver except the one of who he has control over, the Sunday driver with no place to go in Monday morning rush hour traffic, the busy bee multi-tasking behind the wheel, and the inconsiderate brat whose motto is “yes as a matter of fact it is my road”. This is just a small sampling of what one might encounter on any given day  of driving.

On my day I ran into the inconsiderate brat. As I navigated through Buckhead this particular morning in not so horrible traffic it began. She drove a courtesy car from a Lexus dealership. Traffic was moving at a decent pace, but she found herself about three car lengths behind a public transportation vehicle. There were two lanes and then she did it! Simultaneously changed lanes and put her signal on, maybe she even turned the signal on a few seconds after she began her lane change. It doesn’t really matter here for upon the move  in which she cut me off, I blew my horn. Now I do not like blowing my horn and generally one would be hard pressed to get this, but this move her move was so blatant and unnecessary… my blow was saying “really, you didn’t see me right there?” Well from her reaction she clearly did. She flipped me the “bird”. Whoa. On a morning where things were moving along quite nicely, I get the bird for someone else’s stupidity, blindness or down-right inconsiderateness.  MOVE!! “OH HELL NO!” was my thought my reaction was a return of the “bird” along with some choice words I don’t have to repeat, but I am sure you all can imagine. She smiled, she waved, and she continued with the “bird”. I played right into it with her. I blew my horn once more before we were caught at a traffic light. This where the “not proud of this either” moment occurred.

Without giving detail I want you to imagine yourself in that spot, I want you to feel the anger and frustration mount, perhaps reference a similar situation you’ve been in. Feel what you felt at that time and KNOW I was in that very same place. Whatever you did; if you quashed the anger and moved on BRAVO, if you did not and you acted like I did, and I am not judging you but you might want to get a handle on that.

It only took a moment, it only lasted a moment. Two things occurred;  the result she did not taunt me any longer and I had to deal with my feelings the rest of the day. What was worse is it could have been much worse. This is a story whose ending could have made the evening news. I hope she learned something, I hope I did too. Don’t take unnecessary chances “boys and girls” you never know who or what you are encountering on any given day. Two don’t think that it could never/would never happen to YOU. YOU can be either party that I am writing about here. We are all human; and being human in that frail state leaves us open and susceptible to all kinds of weaknesses, then after it is all said and done we are left with regret.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , , , , ,
08 Nov 2012

Funny Thing About HOPE

So I woke up feeling a little sorry for myself ready to bitch about it. Then went to my social media “wall” and saw a post about Rush Limbaugh…uuuuuhhhhhh! Foolishly, I went to the Huffington Post article, read what the creep said and scrolled down to the comments. Prepared to be annoyed I read comment after comment telling, Rush in essence, to “head in”! Then I went to a section where there were images of the President and the first lady, Joe Biden and Jill, their families on stage in Chicago election night 2012.There were 101 images and I got through about ten; when it occurred to me this is what MY country looks like, and this is what MY country said. I have hoped, imagined, and dreamed about the images I saw.  Images that represent who WE are and what WE want for our future. “WE, THE PEOPLE”, the diverse, resilient, multi-faceted PEOPLE of The United States of America. The world was watching, knowing what was at stake, AND cheering us on. It was, it is beautiful. For a few moments I forgot what I wanted to complain about and wiped tears of joy from my eyes. Maybe I am feeling optimistic and idealistic this morning (beats what I stared off with). However, this is what HOPE will do. HOPE will make you say this is possible, this can be, and if you are fortunate you get a chance to say I  am experiencing it. “America, The Beautiful”; She is a rainbow, a symbol of God’s promise.  Just a passing thought.

Posted in Epiphany and tagged , , , | Leave a comment
06 Nov 2012
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An Election To Remember

Every year for the past 12, Lexus has held it’s “December To Remember” Event. It was/is an advertising masterpiece. The holiday style music, the beautiful snowy landscapes, images that have you smelling essence of evergreen Christmas trees and warm vanilla cookies in the kitchen and it all crescendos into the excited, teary eyes realization that someone has gotten damn near the best big ticket present imaginable, if you like that sorta thing. Lexus make me want/ imagine/ believe that one day I too could have the Lexus of my dreams waiting in my snowy driveway, perfectly shoveled clean of course. It doesn’t get any better than that and each time the commercial comes on no matter how hard I try to look away and tell myself, “Lexus is full of it”. My eyes and ears and mind wander or are drawn back to the exact place Lexus wants me to be in. If I had the money, I’d be on a Lexus lot somewhere in Georgia making this MY” December To Remember”.

Needless to say, I believe Lexus’ ad campaign has worked. However, you are probably saying this is a rather lengthy introduction to…. “what is this piece about?” It is about the 2012 Presidential Race. Today is the day when some people will be happy and others not-so-happy. It is not going to be the end of the world, but it will be a new beginning. I take a deep breath as I write this, I have been up since 6 okay 5:50 A.M. I have done everything in my power to stay away from the television and news websites. At this point in time I have been successful but it is not quite 9’o clock in the morning. I, like most of my friends and associates, have work to do. Fortunately, for my state of mind, the schedule is  rather light,  unfortunate for my state of finances though. Nonetheless, I still have time to think. I think back to  a day in November when history was made in this great country of ours. A day when people of color, black people,  sighed a sigh of relief and shed tears of disbelief because a country that had not always been kind to us, a country that had not always been fair to us had a meeting of minds and hearts. A day when a collective cross-sectioned group said, I want this guy to run our nation and I don’t care what he looks like.

I am not a political analyst, I am probably not the most informed individual you will meet. I am passionate though, therefore when I read something or see something on the airways that upsets me, I am more prone to turn it off, close the book on, or move along, than to continue with the prospect I may become incensed. This has not been a clean campaign but I do not think it was the dirtiest either; partially because the President’s opponent could NOT drudge up a significant amount of dirt, but mostly because there isn’t any of significance. No one can question Barack Obama’s character, so they question his birth right. No one can question his intelligence, so they question his decision making. No one can question his ability to lead in dire situations, so they try to take credit away from him and give it to someone/anyone but him. President Obama called for change last time, well his opponents are using that battle cry against him now.

It is perplexing and I am perplexed. I guess it can be summed up    as , “you believe what you want to believe”. I have blamed and/or credited this campaign with everything from my departure from a church I thought I loved to loosing clients. I have argued, debated and pleaded with my husband and sons about the rolls of this election, voting in general, and what it all means. In my small family I have a cynic, a bleeding heart, and a radical. My role is to referee these people, while sifting through MY feelings .

This has been a battle, an emotional roller-coaster for many, myself included. Yet in a few hours it will HOPEFULLY be over. I hope and I pray that it goes the way I want it to go. I have to be honest. I want this to end with me felling like I do when I finish watch one of those Lexus commercials. The music faintly playing from another room and you still can recognize this is in fact one of those commercials, but you are still drawn in. I want to feel like,”WOW.. one day, soon, maybe even tomorrow, AT LAST”, this is possible again.

Posted in Epiphany and tagged , , , , ,
15 Oct 2012
1 Comment

So Sensitive

I do not want to be a part of a society that takes itself so serious that it cannot laugh, enjoy, or even relax.

After a two month break I returned to social media and just in time for the Olympics. The wonder displays of physical prowess and excellence. The spirit of National Pride and personal accomplishment come in tune with one another. Yet amiss this wonder we found time to critique so many things that do not count. Fervor over a child’s hair rather than the grace and greatness of which she handles her sport. It was sickening.

A flavor-of-the-week movie phenom caught in the act of infidelity. We are shocked and appalled… really? In their industry it is more the rule than the exception when someone ventures out and cheats.

Now or should I say continuing conflict in the political arena. With a Presidency at stake, we should expect this. A sea of lies and deceptions out of which our leader is going to rise. Question is what do we get when one has to rise from muck?

We get so personal about this figures in the “limelight”, yet what do we really know about them? What do we really want to know about them? That is easy, the ones we are interested in we want to know everything to the tiniest of detail. The ones we are not we simply turn the page, change the channel, or walk past the newspaper/tabloid/magazine.

I don’t want to live in a society where every little thing has to be scripted or scrutinized, but I also don’t want to live in a place where people take for granted being disrespectful is a God-given-right. Most everyone of us has what is called common sense, most all of us say things that are wrong at times, the ones I truly have a problem with are the ones that run and hide behind the guise of innocence or self-righteousness.

The Olympian; I applaud for she demonstrated that she was more than hair before the world. The movie actress; I am not a fan of the type of movies she has gained so much recognition for, so I do not follow her and there are NO expectations. Finally, the Presidential campaign; I have my candidate selected AND WILL VOTE FOR HIM.

Self expression is great when it is accompanied by tact, decorum and honesty.  You should be able to tell a person who suggests you “just be friends”, “No thanks, that’s not what I was looking for with you.” Stand by what you say and do, but also humbly accept the fact their may very well be consequences for doing that very thing. Do not be afraid to tell the truth,  simply think through the words you choose to convey that truth.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , , ,
01 Jul 2012

It’s Not For You To Say

Johnny Mathis had a song, “It’s Not For Me To Say” in the song he sings about how it is not his place to talk about certain things(love of course) at this particular time. Well for the era in which the song was popular our society was attempting to appear more modest and non-controversial. It stands to reason a song like that would be popular. It made it clear the relationship would go along slowly, but at the pace in which his lover felt comfortable with and of course what was proper.

Fast forward, today people seem to take for granted that one will say whatever is on one’s mind. There is a failure to recognize some of the same people you are in relationships with were raised by or exposed to the generation which lived a sheltered life. My psyche is held captive by what I was exposed to, and no matter how hard I attempt to be as society is presently, my hesitations come from that which was all to familiar to me during my formative years.

Upon further investigation I found that people find it very easy or palatable to be able to render judgment upon themselves in a positive light and if they are fortunate enough to be in a close relationship with an individual who has adopted some of the same philosophies that I carry with me, “they” are home free. I am not saying the neither “I” or another person who thinks like I do on these subjects are push-overs. I am merely pointing out there are some areas that you are probably getting a pass on  a particular behavior you possess.

Think about it ho many times do you think, “I haven’t been a particularly good spouse in relation to _____” or “My  parenting skills could use a bit more _______ ” or “I bet my parents would like to see me do ________”. Be honest we all can convince ourselves we are the best we can be, and if the individual who should truly be the barometer for this remains silent it is that much more simple. However, are you really being truthful and upfront with self here? This is the place where it is for you consult and confer with the other party(ies), question is will you.

Relationships have certain obligations attached to them and if you are in one you are therefore obliged. Since this is the case I will task each of us; every-so-often ask if you are truly being a good”whatever”, don’t be combative or defensive look at this as a fact finding exercise. On the part of the other individual of whom you are in a relationship with;  everyone is entitled to honesty, you don’t have to be nasty though. With cards on the table no one can say, “I didn’t know, why didn’t you tell me, or ” I should not have to ask/tell, but I will”.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , , , , | Leave a comment
01 Jul 2012
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On Letting Go

Memories, as we encounter them in a somewhat different fashion now  that we have more and more of them, let’s visit them as they used to be for us.

In a time not so long ago we had a relationship with our hearts and minds that was filled with vim and vigor. You were sharp and on-point. Therefore, things that had occurred were as fresh as if they were happening in the current moment. I am not trying to “date” us but the name of the blog does that already. We went from telephone books and roledexs to data banks. We existed in a time when the cell phones were not readily available and then in what seems like a span of less than five years pre-schoolers had them.  All of our information is a touch away now and we are carting it around with us in a piece of equipment that is becoming increasingly hard for us to read without our spectacles.

At first when I started forgetting things, I brushed it off. I accused my organizational skills or lack there of as the culprit. After all I was the person who had a phone book in her head. I knew my social security number, driver’s license number, and employee i.d. like the back of my hand. Then one day it happened, I wasn’t even being put on the spot by someone standing in front of me asking for an immediate answer, I was filling out paperwork at my leisure and the question was “what is your phone number”. Now you all know the excuses and explanations… ” I never call my own number” yeah that’s true but you do have to give the number out sometimes was  the rebuttal my personal smart-ass shot back to me.

I began the “blame game”, it was technology, it was too many things to do, it was the insufficient hours in the day. I imagine I could have gone on but the last place I summoned and rested at was things used to be so much simpler. I found myself mesmerized and wishing I could go back to when…. Funny, how we never really think we will become our parents.

I discovered the reason I could not return was because I was holding onto something that was long gone. The only thing I had a hold on was what was existing in my head and that was not the best source of information available. Now that I had come to terms with the fact “I” was impeding forward progress what was going to be my  solution. What defense did I have for myself? I had to remind myself and refresh my mind with some pretty convincing facts. While the past held some wonderful memories, the present had some pretty special gifts, and I wanted to be around to see what was in store. I  told myself the best was yet to come, not that this was as good as it gets.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , , , ,
01 Jul 2012

Keep This To Yourself

On a gray, cloudy Georgia morning I am feeling about the way it looks outside. This is not unusual, people’s moods often are reflective of their surroundings. Yet during this quiet time I have a chance to think back over some events.

There was a game show once upon  time called “I’ve Gotta Secret”, the object of this game was to guess the contestant’s “secret”: something that is unusual, amazing, embarrassing, or humorous about that person. The show ran from the early 1950’s through 2006 sporadically. It was entertaining and funny to watch. The reason I mention it is because of the irony attached to “secrets”.

By definition in it’s perfect form a secret is something done WITHOUT the knowledge of OTHERS. As always open to different interpretations, the secret has “metamorphosised” into whatever anyone wants at any given time. However, the revealing of anything that is remotely associated with the word secret brings the same response and result.

We all have secrets; but the reality of it is we all generally share secrets, whether they are ours or someone else’s. The word sounds so good, so important, so forbidden and who does not want to be in on something that allows you to feel special, privileged among a unique group?  Not saying these secrets are all bad, but their existence cannot be denied and their revealing can bring about some negative response or reaction if just for the fact they are revealed. Now you have to address betrayal, but who is the one who ultimately betrays. Is it the person you told, who did in fact tell or is the culprit you?

In our society where social media reigns supreme we cannot hope to or even suggest private thoughts when we plaster everything all over our “walls”. Therefore, closing I want to say something that you do not have to “keep to yourself”. Stop wasting your time on negative thoughts.

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08 Jun 2012

Can We Connect

40 years flew passed me today. I found a couple of friends from my childhood. Wonderful Social Media. Much like you cannot go home, revisiting people who were in your life can be a difficult road to travel.

I was so excited to find them, but it seemed my enthusiasm was not shared. The connection was accepted but beyond that…. well it remained to be seen.

I have an idea of what should happen when we connect with folks, or how about this, what I/we think should happen. Suddenly, I realized that what this was really about. ME. Yes, once again I had taken a situation and turned it into a personal opportunity to illuminate myself. As noted, the statement was “once again”. This is obviously a reoccurring issue with me and it got me thinking.

I thought about the way people in the “limelight” sometimes have a problem with returning to a normal life. A life where no one recognizes them, a life where thousands of fans aren’t screaming for them. Is it possible that we as everyday people long for the “limelight” of our worlds as well?

My mother told me over the years how my favorite aunt (who was actually her aunt) said when I was a small child(less than 4) that I was going to be an entertainer, because I loved to talk. What did Aunt Sis see? What  gave her insight to a  person that I often deny, that many would question the very existence of? Yet, she is there and the more I ignore her, the more she does things whether they are good or bad to bring the “limelight” to her. She does not give up or give in. She has put me in some bad positions over the years, because I have not paid attention to her. You might ask how could you live with someone for so long and not acknowledge or even recognize  them. I don’t have a logical answer, but I do know it is the case with me.

Now that I have seen and realize the “scene stealer” is in me; I can return to a couple of places I recently visited and possibly avoid my seemingly favorite spot, “foot-in-mouth” haven. My connecting with the old friends now comes with the realization these friends, were in fact closer to my sibling so many years ago. Ah yes “I” was not the focal point. Therefore, just because I found them is secondary to “their ” reconnection with their true friend. I needed to be able to see this as not being an oversight or being slighted, but this “I” was an addition. Life is funny, the simplest concepts sometimes still manage to escape us.

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22 May 2012
2 Comments

Patient’s Patience

To all of the “Angel’s of Mercy”out there, I salute you. There are no others like you upon this Earth.

All of us will be relegated to the spot of patient at some point in time. It is what you demonstrate while you are in that status that counts. A difficult place to be in; sick, tired, in pain. You feel alone, no one understands what you feel. There is the vulnerability and need. As time goes on anger and resentment sets in. These are all understandable, but do you get a free pass? Is it okay to treat the folks who are around you, the folks trying to help and comfort you, badly. I understand that you may not or are very likely NOT aware of what you are doing, but trust me when someone says it to you, it is true.

When you are not a medical professional, you are handicapped in your attempts to help someone who is suffering. Some people are grateful to have someone willing to try to help. Then there are the others who, unwittingly, make it painfully obvious that their would be helpers are inept. This serves little purpose, for you need help and a bad attitude will oftentimes leave you without assistance or with a begrudging helper.

In your pain and illness do not allow yourself to believe that in order for one to be understanding, sympathetic, or helpful they MUST be lying in the bed with you experiencing what you are currently going through with the same degree or exactness as you. You take away the desire to try to help, and possibly leave yourself in the very spot you want to avoid. Two people in the exact same place will see and hear very different things. In having that understanding, patient I beseech you to employ YOUR patience.

As with most everything attitude is everything. It helps the patient in the healing process, it helps the caregiver with a sense of appreciation which motivates. Motivation that is essential for all parties to continue on.

Think of that nurse, who was particularly kind to you, when you were hurting and not so very easy to get along with. Realize she or he was “just doing their job” when they helped you through a rough pain episode. Process in your mind these are trained professionals who absolutely selected this spot they are in, because they felt a little something more than the monetary gain. Think of how very special these nurses are. Then think about the person you have at your disposal. They may not be equipped with a degree, they may not have the intricate medical training, but they are armed with the desire to help. Compassion; don’t run or push them away because you as a patient, cannot draw on a bit of understanding and patience yourself.

Posted in Epiphany and tagged , , , , , , ,
21 May 2012

Cheese-us Cry-us

I do love cheese. I am a semi-lover really. My cheese needs to be on something or served with something for me to fully enjoy it. I cannot say I have often eaten a simple cheese sandwich. I have had my share of grilled cheese sandwiches though.

Recently, I saw a commercial about a  “new”sandwich being served by a national chain restaurant, it took me into a tornado of cheesy fast-food memories. I started with how adding cheese to a sandwich used to(during my adult life recollection) cost anywhere from 5 to 10 cents.I clearly remember rationalizing NOT paying 20 cents for that same cheese especially if the sandwich was going home to be eaten. Now depending on where you are that cost is 50 to 80 cents. Really, for some processed cheese food product high in fat, sodium and ultimately calories.

Honestly, it is not simply the cost we pay for this “food” it is the mindset. Sandwiches and entrees alike are given a whole different classification just because this product is added to it. Look around, there is no escape we even put cheese on desserts. A morning danish, a slice of apple pie or a creamy cannoli, it is there.Wow folks it is JUST cheese. It adds a little flavor but changing the entire eating experience for it’s addition?Wow folks it is JUST cheese. It adds a little flavor, but changing the entire eating experience for it’s addition?

I laughingly tossed out titles with my son: “Say Cheese”, “I’ll have Mine with Cheese”immediately came to mind. However, “Cheese Us Cry Ust” won out because of the phonetic play on words.

The irony of this all hit when I saw and advertisement for a sandwich that highlighted ranch in its name. I thought,” I wonder if they are actually charging more for this sandwich because it now has ranch dressing in opposed to mayonnaise?”  What’s next mustard and ketchup? At the most minor and primitive level the accessories,  the add-ons, the extras are sucking us in. As a cheese lover, I am NOT telling you to stop ordering cheese. I am merely suggesting if we all stopped doing this, perhaps it would discourage the industry from overcharging us for such a minor adjustment and make them think twice about expanding on the idea.

Posted in As Consumers and tagged , | Leave a comment

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