hafacenturyncounting

Motivated by a lack of material.

Archive for the tag “perspectives”

21 Apr 2011

The Consequence Of Overindulgence

You can have your cake, and eat it too; but what about the stomach ache? Is having everything your way so important that you would risk something truly valuable, in order to obtain that which you think you want.

In our greedy, self-absorbed, instant gratification minded society it is no wonder. I remember laughing and even thinking the name of a Cruise ship named Hedonism was cute and catchy, now it doesn’t seem so amusing or acceptable. In our society the excesses are sought after. What’s wrong with the pursuit of what is grand, beautiful, luxurious? After all, haven’t we earned it at this juncture in our lives?

Do you play the lottery; how much and how often do you wager? Do you love to shop; where are the sales this week? These are simple, harmless pass-times and I imagine those of you who answered affirmatively to the first part of those questions really believe that. However, they were “leading” questions and that is the root of the problem. Where does it ultimately lead to.

If you have ever owned a puppy you have undoubtedly been warned NOT to overfeed it. For a puppy will eat itself to death. It simply wants more and cannot say no. What about us? Do we suffer from a chronic case of “The Mores”? I certainly believe the marketing industry believes it to be true and trust me they do not want us to be cured. They have capitalized of of our condition and offered temporary fixes. Never mind those fixes come with consequences and side affects. They are merciless and are not bound by moral of any type. Their “dirty-pool” mentality allows them to attack the weakest and most vulnerable, they start on us as children.

In a self examination, I played a game I used to play as a child. This game did not require any pieces and it also did not require any other participants. However, you could have others involved if you chose to. Imagination was the only component necessary. It was called “What Do You Want”? I thought this would be a simple trip down memory lane, but I wanted to give a spot of reality and fact to it. The plan was to  briefly address “BARBIE“. Collector or not, male or female, privileged or poor. we all know of “BARBIE“. I wanted to show how a little girl’s dream, wish, desire was to have all the “BARBIE” dolls there were, and how impossible and preposterous a it was. However, what I discovered was it was nearly as impossible to find out something as simple an actual number.

Boundaries and perimeters defeat us in our quest for a “hedonistic” existence, still we gravitate in that direction.  I was introduced to the decadence of cheesecake as a child, my parents warned me not to eat too much, to only get very small slices when I did eat. Well, being an enthusiastic eater I did not heed the warning. I overdid it and became sick. It wasn’t that I did not believe my parents, but my desire for more overtook me and my desire for control.

More, more, more I say if that is your mindset then be prepared to end up in a place whose theme  is “Thanks for visiting and check your soul upon entry”.

Posted in Epiphany and tagged , , , , | Leave a comment
19 Apr 2011

Do You Think I’m Sexy?

Rod Stewart asked that question decades ago. It was funny and a conversation piece; for at the time we were all young, beautiful, and sexy in our own individual ways. Now as the gap closes in on us our minds still visit these places and see these things, but the vantage point has clearly changed.

I remember seeing the “May/December” romances playing out on the silver screen and shaking my head in disbelief. I thought “oh my goodness what would she  really want with him”. “Him” being Mr.December and at the time Hollywood was still making everyone in major roles great to look at regardless of age, station in life, current condition.  Now a new animal is on the prowl and she is called “cougar”. She is also as open to the verbal and mental scrutiny of young and old alike. For after all what do the young, exciting, viable want with the moderately slowing down and aged? Here’s another twist, what do we want and expect of each other.

Our children would clearly be repulsed, for even if we do not have the mature and matronly figures, the idea of a parent being anything but a parent is just absurd. We can be successful, attractive, and wise; those are acceptable. Our children are very smart; educated, sophisticated, and worldly; yet this aspect of us completely escapes them. That idea is not unreasonable, I think this aspect even escapes us . No one prepared us for growing older and being in a physical and psychological limbo.

Some of us are in denial. We venture into the cliche’ mid-life crisis arena and we should expect to be slaughtered. We act, dress, and attempt to think like we are still the same individuals that fit into a size three; when we could easily use another numeral in front of that three. Our male counterparts pretend not to feel every bone crack as they try to dunk the basketball like it was done in college, while simultaneously holding the protruding abdominal area in with such force one’s head might explode before giving in and breathing. While these are laughable extremes on some level, I think we all have to own up to a little of it.

Yes, this is very touchy and very subjective. As previously noted some folks in our group are holding-up/going to hold-up better than others among us, why not if you are so compelled at the very least stay within your rankings. Realizing we are a group that hates guidelines, rules, etc., but at some point we do have to abide by them. We have been very successful at what one may say is getting around these standards, or we can call it exactly what it is CHEATING. Accessible plastic surgery has made a lot of us experts.

However, here is a thought; as we see ourselves change why don’t we embrace the change, and let our tastes change right along with our being. As more scalp begins to show, cut it close to enhance the fact there is a nice face to concentrate on without the distraction of all that hair.  Don’t look at the increased size as the inability to wear a bikini, but as an opportunity to allow the cover-up to give you a bit of mystery. My salt and pepper gray now give me the hi-lights I never could manage to wear in my youth. Remember, it is a question. DO YOU THINK I’M SEXY? Perspective and perception work in our favor here.

Posted in Epiphany and tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment
09 Apr 2011

III- “hafawayto

Destinations, as you think about travel there is the point you reach where you can choose to go on or turn around and go back. If you had to guess do you think you are more inclined to go forward or do you turn around. This is about the known and the unknown.

Oftentimes when I write I have snippets of inspiration, other times they are flailing thoughts. I must periodically ask myself why am I writing and to whom? I want the consistent, smooth, melodic flow. Yet, I exist in a state of constant indecision at least part of the time.

Here we are getting very close to retirement and what start a new career, with a new company. Never mind you are ignored, unappreciated, treated like a number. The house is where we have always lived, yes it is getting harder to keep maintained in costs and efforts. The lump does seem to be getting a little larger, but I have a physical in six months…Knowing what will happen next doesn’t seem to be daring, but look back at those examples. Making a change or taking a chance could be risky, but deciding to wait and see what happens is as well.

In youth it seems easy to take action, start over, simply start something new, but as we age we have so much more to ponder over first. The repercussions and ramifications of our actions, who it will or will not affect, you get the idea. Are young people the “devil-may-care” individuals we think they are or is it they feel they have nothing to loose? Are we as older folks  the stable Rock of Gibraltar beings or are we simply paralyzed by fear? I mean I can be as impulsive as the next person, just give me a little time to think about it first. As for the destinations of life; do you care how you get there as long as you arrive. That is a point well worth pondering over.

Posted in Hafwaythroughpoints and tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment
23 Mar 2011

Let Go and Let’s Go

Simply, this is about release and moving on.

I have a beautiful pedigree cat, a Ragdoll. I adopted him a decade ago, he was a rescue. I laid eyes on him and thought, ” What a pretty cat. I’d like to have him”. I talked to his foster parent and get this sad story of a tormented, terrorized beauty. Well we had room for him in our home and I was ready for another cat in my life. I renamed him Storm,  partially because he was the color of threatening clouds and he had they deep blue eyes, but mostly because I hated his name Toby.

It had been 10 years since I had a cat, Yheti was a beautiful Himalayan Flame Point with soulful blue eyes who I got as a young cat of six months. He loved me and I loved him. When I came home in the afternoon, he was waiting at the door for me. He would come to me when I called  him.  You really have to be a cat owner to understand a close relationship with a cat. They are solitary,  independent, oftentimes moody creatures; you may pick one of them as a pet, but they decide if they want you. Yheti belonged to me. He became ill suddenly and we had to put him down. I left one morning with a cat that I knew was ill and returned home with a broken heart. Many years would pass before the thought of cat ownership would occur to me again.

Back to Storm. I knew there would be an adjustment period, but had no idea how very long that period would be. He was never the kind of pet his pedigree suggested. Noted for loving to be picked up and held, you did well being able to pet him on his back. Perhaps the ultimate blow was when he decided he preferred my eldest son, who did not even live with us at the time. The years passed and Storm did not change.  My position was to serve as caretaker/nurse. I accepted I had selected a creature who would never be a pet, at best he was a fixture.

Now he is 12, his health is not great, but it is not terminal. He is simply getting old. He could die tomorrow or live another 8 years(some exclusively indoor cats live 20 years), either of which I feel indifferently toward. I know that sounds bad, however it is true.

I spent a lot of time to talk about a cat, a pet if you will,  and not a very good one by my own admission. One may ask why. Here it is, my cat is characterizing how I think we are dealing with changes that occur in various times in our lives. The youth are impatient, anxious to get on with “it”, they have a vast unknown to discover and loads of time to do it in . The ones we consider elder folks want to slow things down, their unknown is plagued with the knowledge that the inevitable is probably close at hand. Then there is us. We tend to be stuck in neutral, we wait for something to happen rather than make it happen. We are not strongly in favor of slowing down, but we are not ready to jump feet first into anything either. We have a lot of recollection and memories to reflect upon. However, there is still the vague uncertainty of what is to come and when. Our challenge is, “What about The Now”, for this is the place where we currently reside?

Posted in Epiphany and tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment
18 Mar 2011

All We Do is Eat

When I was in my late twenties eons ago, one of my close friend’s mother(a.k.a. play aunt) was telling us about a gentleman she was seeing. Now she was/is an attractive lady, however as father time becomes a more familiar character in your life the “pickens become slimmer”. I remember laughing my heart out one day as she spoke of this gentleman with a bit of sarcasm; saying every time I call him or he calls me and the conversation moves to what are you doing he says, “Well er um I ‘m about to fix me something to eaaat…” I clearly remember thinking,” He must be a lazy fat slob lying around on the sofa, hot sauce drizzled down the front of his wife beater tee shirt. She can do much better than that.” I knew better, it was just a comical thought; his speech and diction alone dispelled that notion. However, Mr. Always-Feedin-His-Face did not disappear as rapidly as one might think.

I have to be honest here, food is my personal vice. If I am ever accused of anything, it will be first degree consumption. I am guilty as charged. I can find something to tempt my taste-buds on most menus, and if I cannot buy it generally I can cook it for myself. I have to ask, is gluttony a pre-geriatric condition? Do we, just before slipping into he ranks of “old age”, become reduced to virtual  eating machines. I can see how it could happen very easily.  Eating is recreational, eating is entertaining, eating is sensual.

Where are the “tailgaters”,  and who makes the best beef  brisket you know? Be it a football game or a backyard cookout, these are examples of eating for recreation. These events are excuses to eat. “Let’s do lunch, dinner is on me”…. Okay you may get together with those special someones to discuss the way of the world, or  even a business opportunity, but ultimately you are trying to get at that food. Candle light dinner at an out of the way little restaurant, breakfast on the balcony overlooking the white sandy beach and it will be that much better IF a stimulating conversation comes up.

Eating is wonderful, but we have to remember that what we eat will determine if we will be around for that next fantastic meal. It is easy to overdo, and  then overlook our health in this process of eating. One can be overwhelmed with the intake and ignore the danger signs. Don’t let “Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die” be your prophetic epitaph. So if all you do is eat, put some fiber and green veggies in your diet as well.

Posted in Epiphany and tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment
13 Mar 2011

II-“hafamindtochange”

Here we are again, in search for that comfort zone, we return to what is familiar.  What happened? Are we not trendsetters; the generation where so many changes took place that when the smoke cleared, we hardly recognized where we were and who we were.

Did we settle in or did we just settle?  Is it possible that so much change bred complacency, and innovation died in the process.

Mine is a restless soul, but I am NOT a risk-taker. I did a job for almost half my life and I didn’t even like it. As-A-Matter-of-Fact most people who knew me would tell you I actually hated it. I didn’t even know that I wasn’t doing a good job of disguising that contempt, it was after all, a means to an end . In silent protest or sheer stupidity I actively undermined a comfort zone. A method I would not suggest. I wish I could say that was the first, last , and only time I did something like that. I wish I could call it brave, devil-may-care, or cavalier, naah I was just plain stupid. The good news is I managed to land on my feet. I managed, with the help of God.

Born and raised as a Baptist, in adult life I sought an affiliation that was a bit more calm and reserved. The Methodists appealed to me and I joined them. I served on the usher board  primarily, because I could not sing. It made me feel like I was on the right road, I found that place with the Methodist. The spouse was not interested in organized religion but would ocassionally visit a place of worship. The children, as children, were never encouraged or discouraged from attending. Yet ironically, it was one of my children that lead me to my current pla ce of worship and in this place I have learned more in a few months than I did in all the years I attended and went through the motions . Sunday Service is a pleasure, a welcomed needed retreat and refuge. “And a little child shall lead them” Isaiah 11:6

What waits for us on the other side? The other side of what, well the other side of anything that is a barrier or stumbling block. My two examples give the impression of  it turned out better for you, but did you read between the lines? Just because we stop at a good point does not mean that the trek was not riddled with challenges. What is this life without challenges. God never told us that this life would be easy, He did say He would never leave us. Don’t be afraid  of change, have a little faith.

Posted in Hafwaythroughpoints and tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Post Navigation

Newer Entries →