hafacenturyncounting

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Archive for the category “Hafwaythroughpoints”

25 Apr 2011

V-Haftoberight

Is it rewarding to say “I told you so..” I know the recipient does not think it to be true. What do you gain by being able to rub someone’s nose in something; wouldn’t it have been better to make a little more effort in convincing them to make a different decision, than to affirm the less than desired results. What about this; even if you were unsuccessful in trying to help, be there for support. When we do things the wrong way, we are quite aware. However, how we respond is under our complete control.

I never thought of myself this way. However, I recently learned that is exactly the way I am. It is difficult to see ourselves through the eyes of others, but we can readily see their faults. Things we dislike so much in others tends to manifest in us. We cannot see it because we don’t appreciate these qualities, and we certainly do not want to own up to them. Being right gives us a sense of power and control.

I submit this to you; there is nothing wrong with being correct about something, but realize at some point in time you will also be incorrect about something. None of us are infallible, if we had all the answers we would not be in one or more of our current situations. Stop building yourself up and patting yourself on the back for possessing a track record of at best 50% , average.  Average, the same, just like everyone else. Think about this the next time you feel the need to tell someone “I told you so”. For every one of those statements I have to  seek out someone and relinquish a “You told me so, you were right”. That should take the ego down a notch; and sometimes we need that, in order to have things put back into perspective.

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12 Apr 2011
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IV-hafarecall

Truth be known, the recollection is far from half. This is being done in code of sorts, the names have been changed to protect the innocent.. and the guilty.

Things done in the dark are ALWAYS REVEALED IN THE LIGHT. Let your imaginations and memories run rampant. This is a place of secrecy. I hesitate as I reluctantly go to this subject. It is wanton and forbidden, we all know this place and at different times in our lives frequented it. It has a hypnotic drawing feature, as well as chameleon type characteristics.

All that being said, are you in “your place”. Can you still feel the thing(s) you hope to have long forgotten or maybe not forget completely. Since I would like to at least hold the attention of a reader for the duration of this piece, I will not concentrate on specifics of my list of “dark places”. Generalizing is sufficient here.

Like moths drawn to the flame we venture toward”it”. We told ourselves, “I will be careful and nothing bad will happen, because I will know when to stop”. Then we dove in, we crossed the line. We were taken aback because”it” was so easy; “it” was not what we thought exactly, but at the same time we still felt we had “it” under control.

Waking from what seemed to be an eternity or maybe it  felt as though only a moment had passed; we awoke to find ourselves in this strange, undesirable,”dark place”. Two thoughts came to us immediately, how did I get here and how do I get out? One thing at a time; we got to the “dark place” because we thought that we were infallible whether we will admit it or not. Alas, we did make it out with promises to self of never making that same error or one like it again.

It’s funny though, all you have to do is keep living and time will soften blows of your life. Memories will become a foggy  and inaccurate haze, if you allow it to happen.  Unkind words will fade and dissipate, mean actions will become surreal, and poor decisions will be given a pass based on it seemed correct for the time. I want to end on this note; in order to avoid having regrets, don’t look back.

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09 Apr 2011

III- “hafawayto

Destinations, as you think about travel there is the point you reach where you can choose to go on or turn around and go back. If you had to guess do you think you are more inclined to go forward or do you turn around. This is about the known and the unknown.

Oftentimes when I write I have snippets of inspiration, other times they are flailing thoughts. I must periodically ask myself why am I writing and to whom? I want the consistent, smooth, melodic flow. Yet, I exist in a state of constant indecision at least part of the time.

Here we are getting very close to retirement and what start a new career, with a new company. Never mind you are ignored, unappreciated, treated like a number. The house is where we have always lived, yes it is getting harder to keep maintained in costs and efforts. The lump does seem to be getting a little larger, but I have a physical in six months…Knowing what will happen next doesn’t seem to be daring, but look back at those examples. Making a change or taking a chance could be risky, but deciding to wait and see what happens is as well.

In youth it seems easy to take action, start over, simply start something new, but as we age we have so much more to ponder over first. The repercussions and ramifications of our actions, who it will or will not affect, you get the idea. Are young people the “devil-may-care” individuals we think they are or is it they feel they have nothing to loose? Are we as older folks  the stable Rock of Gibraltar beings or are we simply paralyzed by fear? I mean I can be as impulsive as the next person, just give me a little time to think about it first. As for the destinations of life; do you care how you get there as long as you arrive. That is a point well worth pondering over.

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13 Mar 2011

II-“hafamindtochange”

Here we are again, in search for that comfort zone, we return to what is familiar.  What happened? Are we not trendsetters; the generation where so many changes took place that when the smoke cleared, we hardly recognized where we were and who we were.

Did we settle in or did we just settle?  Is it possible that so much change bred complacency, and innovation died in the process.

Mine is a restless soul, but I am NOT a risk-taker. I did a job for almost half my life and I didn’t even like it. As-A-Matter-of-Fact most people who knew me would tell you I actually hated it. I didn’t even know that I wasn’t doing a good job of disguising that contempt, it was after all, a means to an end . In silent protest or sheer stupidity I actively undermined a comfort zone. A method I would not suggest. I wish I could say that was the first, last , and only time I did something like that. I wish I could call it brave, devil-may-care, or cavalier, naah I was just plain stupid. The good news is I managed to land on my feet. I managed, with the help of God.

Born and raised as a Baptist, in adult life I sought an affiliation that was a bit more calm and reserved. The Methodists appealed to me and I joined them. I served on the usher board  primarily, because I could not sing. It made me feel like I was on the right road, I found that place with the Methodist. The spouse was not interested in organized religion but would ocassionally visit a place of worship. The children, as children, were never encouraged or discouraged from attending. Yet ironically, it was one of my children that lead me to my current pla ce of worship and in this place I have learned more in a few months than I did in all the years I attended and went through the motions . Sunday Service is a pleasure, a welcomed needed retreat and refuge. “And a little child shall lead them” Isaiah 11:6

What waits for us on the other side? The other side of what, well the other side of anything that is a barrier or stumbling block. My two examples give the impression of  it turned out better for you, but did you read between the lines? Just because we stop at a good point does not mean that the trek was not riddled with challenges. What is this life without challenges. God never told us that this life would be easy, He did say He would never leave us. Don’t be afraid  of change, have a little faith.

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13 Mar 2011

I-“hafanewlife”

I haven’t written in years. My sons encouraged me to resume, but I resisted. However, once my younger son became involved in the world of writing and journalism, he became relentless and I caved. Perhaps it is as simple as the desire was always there and I was in denial.

This is my introduction and test. Me; I am in my 50’s and I am truly enjoying this part of life. Thus, the blog name hafacenturyncounting- translation half a century and counting. I will, at the very least, employ this “wordplay” in my titles periodically.

Where are we? I am not speaking of local here. I was astounded to find out even before I read a single statistic about “baby boomers” I fit the profile. Beyond the obvious of falling into the charted birth years, someone had invaded my mindset. I look, dress, live the part. I could pick “me” out of a crowd, and I don’t know if I like that. Okay I color my hair, I watch a reality show or two, I still wear shorts and quietly criticize others who I deem are not in shape to do so but don’t realize it, I have returned to Church after a religious hiatus, and I am let’s just say disappointed with politics.

I woke up on my 50th birthday and I said,” Ima do me”.  During my time in my 50’s I have stopped coloring my hair, I changed careers (although a year prior to 50) and decided I had no regrets, I cannot tell you the last time “fast food” was an important part of my life and I met one of the most fantastic little persons ever, my 1st(and hopefully more to follow since I have two sons) grandchild. I am not looking at this time in my life as a slow down period, but more of an era of absorbing and that in itself requires a bit of extra time and effort.

So stop driving around the parking lot for twenty minutes in search of the closest spot to the door, just park and walk. Watch that television program, but realize just because it is labeled reality doesn’t mean it is real, and accept the fact that YOUR 15 minutes of fame may be illuminated in light of the eyes of some special person you actually know.

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