hafacenturyncounting

Motivated by a lack of material.

Archive for the tag “truth”

15 Nov 2013
1 Comment

What Richie Can Learn About Being INCOGNITO

As I read a little about this controversial player, the first impression was loud mouthed-attention-hungry scumbag. He has all the necessary pieces to qualify for that label in my book. He is from New Jersey, he has Italian heritage, he attended school in racial/diversity insensitive areas (Nebraska and Arizona), he has been referred for Anger Management repeatedly, he gropes and molests women at will,  he was named NFL “dirtiest player”  in 2009  are among his accomplishments.. hummmm He hasn’t been looked upon in a positive manner, since high school sports were a part of his life. Get the picture? Now of course I am being extreme with the reference to Italian heritage,  everything else I stand by.  We cannot overlook or ignore the horrid impression  and impact “Jersey Shore and Snooki “ have had on two of my points of reference though. However, I am NOT that narrow-minded. I have no issue with Italians; I believe many of them do have issues about certain characteristics, but all-in-all who among US in this great big human family is NOT in denial on one level or another? Big, bad, and over-the-top. Richie you went too far, it appears(“p.c. alert”). I, in spite of myself listened to this man speak about the incident(s) briefly. He seemed to be doing a very good well rehearsed job of explaining himself. The “Blue Fairy ” in me wanted to believe this guy is JUST a dumb-ass, but my better judgment said,” How naive; how long, how many excuses can you give a 30 year old MAN to make this behavior forgivable?!” I rummaged through interview snippets from players on his team and in the league trying to make this  seem blown out-of-proportion. I was especially critical of the African-American players siding with him. I lost ALL ability to justify or excuse when the “n-word” factor came into play. For that word in and of itself is subject for many and another dialog.  The”n” word also is a source that breathed life and fanned the flame of this controversy of Richie Incognito.

Is Richie a racist, perhaps. Did he make bad decisions, CERTAINLY! Can he recover, possibly. Did he learn anything, TIME WILL TELL! Now here is a little something. His name suggests mystery, subtlety, and NOT drawing attention to oneself. However, his behavior is the antithesis and now it has ONCE AGAIN gotten him in trouble. There are people,and we all know at least one, who would rather have a light shone on them in a bad way than no light at all. Richie Incognito exhibits those characteristics. Now that he has time off, the possibility of his bank accounts being relieved of some of their “weight”, and exclusion from the club he wants so much to be a part of; Richie, you may want to re-think that persona of yours. Research that last name of yours and practice some of the defining traits of someone who exists “INCOGNITO”. Also while you are expanding your horizons and enlightening yourself take note of another word, the word whose malicious and careless use by YOU probably will be the source of your career’s demise and life as you know it. Next time you decide to drop the “n” word think before you speak, and realize had you done this before you may not be where you currently are. Here is a pearl of wisdom for you; IT IS NEVER OKAY TO USE THE “n” WORD! NEVER!

Posted in Everybody's Critic and tagged , , ,
04 Nov 2013

This Year The Spiders Are Bad

I have never been afraid of the arachnids as-a-matter-of-fact, of all the creatures on the insect world, they are by far one of my least offensive. However, this year in Georgia they seem to be everywhere and it seems they are every present as well.

As I removed the web of one of these tiny little creatures from the corner of my bathroom door, it suddenly occurred to me that I was going about this all wrong. I mean the web was small, a minor annoyance and the only reason I payed attention to it was because I was on the floor picking something else up. Yet as insignificant as I deemed it to be, I realized I had destroyed a web in this location several times over the past few days and here it was again.This tiny stubborn creature would not give up, it kept invading my space. Though it was a small corner, there were many corners in my house and if I let this one go perhaps more would come and join before I could look up the invasion would be complete. A coup d’etat in my house!  As I pondered momentarily on what I should do next, it came to me, “The web isn’t the problem it’s the spider”. I took a tissue and smashed the tiny arachnid. The next day I went into the bathroom and I specifically looked in that corner. There was no web and no spider. Simple solution if you realize what the problem is you are attacking. Now keep in mind, I don’t necessarily dislike spiders, but I am not a fan of them either. If they leave me alone and stay out of my house we have no issue.

The House of Representatives then crossed my mind. The TeaParty and the influence they have over the Republicans angers me. What happened to free thinking? Ah yes it is truly the ideology of the poor, weak, and less influential. Who else has the ability to wish for better or to dream? The rich and powerful do not dream; they do not have to,  for their money and power have granted them the visible/tangible dreams. Yet through it all they are still not happy, and that is because they know all that they have will not last forever and the price they have/will have paid for the illusion’s worth of grandeur cannot be quantified.

The song “Everybody Wants To Rule The World”, rings in my ears. The horrid Koch Brothers dry sullen faces flash in my mind and one cannot disassociate the Koch brothers from the TeaParty either. I read over the article in Forbes magazine from December 2012 and had to turn from it, thinking,  “I have to work on NOT being able to stomach information about things(people) I do not like”. I realized this problem I have can be tied to the problem we have facing our country in the political arena. I don’t like you; therefore I do not have time, nor will I waste my effort finding out anything about you. Yet in reality it is not that simple.  The world as it has become increasingly smaller does not allow for the so-called simple solutions avoidance and ignorance have a very short “shelf life”. Where does that leave us? What do you do when you basically want to exist outside of the controversy and conflict, once you discover you cannot. Well here’s my two cents worth; do what I  did about the spider problem(mine in particular) identify/realize what your source problem is and take care of the root cause.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , | Leave a comment
04 Oct 2013

Hurry Up And Wait

I am exhausted.  I have been going through process for several months now and let me tell you it is horrendous! I can only imagine what people who search for years feel like and am grateful I do not have that experience to date.

As a Job-seeker from 1959 in 2013, I have encountered a world of strange and amazing things. I have also had bouts with sheer disappointment and enough “red-tape to circle the globe.  If you are a 50-something person looking to change jobs change careers my first inclination is to tell you DON’T, but if circumstances dictate or you simply feel compelled to do this let me offer a little insight. This will be “fun”.

First things first; if you haven’t been in the market for awhile throw out everything you THINK you know. It has ALL changed. You may not talk to a human being through many of the initial processes. I can say, with a great deal of confidence, you will do no writing until it comes time to sign your name, and even then it may be electronic. You may even be interviewed via the internet( webcam).

The SEARCH: What is it you want to do or think you want to do? Once you decide this do a GOOGLE search and find websites for employment and ones that are dedicated to the particular field or area you want. If it is a general search you have the sites that are well known, but not necessarily a great choice if you want fast results. When you “land” on a site KNOW, KNOW, KNOW you will have to register with them before you can move forward. If they allow you to view jobs before registering, you are still going to have to register to put in an application. Therefore, get ready to submit your vital information and then get ready to submit it again, and again, and again.

The RESUME’: You have to have a resume’, if you don’t stop reading this and go create one, you are dead-in-the-water if you do not. We are going to move forward like you do have  a resume’; make sure it is updated, a contact number or email may be the difference between you getting an interview or not. Keep your information current, I cannot stress that enough. Go to the internet for samples of the particular type of resume’ (field/ industry/profession) most applicable. However, the fact that you have a resume’ will not eliminate your having to register to apply for a job, or filling out an application, in which the very same information/questions are required.  Do a cover letter( a letter that tells why you are looking for “this”type of job and what you can offer “this” particular company), it is an introduction to your resume’.

The INTERVIEW: Yaay, you have done what may seem like the impossible or it may feel like you are waking from a dream. Yet one must approach this process with extreme caution. You have to know what to wear, consult the internet or speak to your friends and colleagues. KNOW where you are going and how long it is going to take to get there and BE EARLY. KNOW something about the company you are applying for a job with.  KNOW yourself, be prepared to answer questions and again go to the internet and view sample interview questions.  Try NOT to be surprised, because today you may be interviewed by an individual or a team (two or more), you may be asked to participate in a group interview where you are NOT the only applicant, it may be structured or not. However, you may not be privy to any of this information until you arrive. Therefore, be prepared for the items mentioned before and then some.

This is not only a frustrating process, it is intimidating and at times frightening, for if you are in search of employment it is because you are in need. You have to put aside the emotion of your circumstances, think on your toes, and move forward into uncharted territory. Preparation and research are your friends, and I suggest you use these tools to the utmost. Today finding employment is like an espionage project; the target(job) is out there, the enemy(competition) is trying to get to it as well as you are, the only thing that separates you and them is…..You have to figure out what you have that will separate you, and make YOU stand out and be successful. Good Luck, and that is sincere.

Do not give up, there is light at the end of the tunnel. I found it; I managed to get to the target, now if only the government will get back to work, so I can.

Posted in As Consumers and tagged , | Leave a comment
16 Sep 2013

Asking For What You Want And Getting It

“Ahh no thanks, Ima pass” was what I thought as I began this. Now that may be surprising but it has been something I thought on for awhile, and do not be mistaken because the piece began with “Ahh no thanks, Ima pass”, does not mean that was always MY starting point.

Have you ever read a book or seen a movie that starts at the end and then takes you backwards? Well this is how I am doing this particular post. Think you know exactly what you want, need, desire? I bet most if us would answer affirmatively to this question; yet be careful this is trip down an old familiar road with some unfamiliar turns.

Oftentimes when I write I listen to music and “YouTube“ is my best friend in these endeavors, but one of my “sisters” started me on this by posting a video which featured a member of the both lovely and talented singing group Debarge.   James DeBarge to be exact. Now I am NOT being funny when I called them lovely, because in spite of the fact the majority of the group was male, they were some of the most beautiful young people you would want to lay eyes on and YES they could sing! When we saw them all we saw was beauty and heard the same. These amazing siblings rose like cream does to the top of milk. James married R&B royalty(Janet Jackson) in his youth. James was neither sounding or looking good in the video as he tried to employ the audience, of an obscure little club nestled in the Inland Empire on the outskirts of Los Angeles, to help him through one of the family hits. Nearly every member of the family has had a bout with drugs.

Before I knew it “Youtube” was helping to guide me down memories of my teen and young adult years and some of the residents who will forever inhabited that place. The series Unsung became my springboard; The Sylvers, Shalamar, Klymaxx, Angela Bofill, before I knew what was happening it was 3 A.M.

This wordy introduction was to drive home the point of the title. You may have noticed my ending the list of singers with an individual rather than a group. Angela’s story tells it all. She spoke of riding high, doing what she wanted, dismissing things that were very important; these are not unique qualities of a young, successful artist, it is also reflective of many regular folks as well. Angela said at one point in her career she was exhausted. She had battled with weight issues all of her life, but she did not smoke, drink, do drugs. She was a person who “juiced” incessantly. She stated all she wanted to do and wished for was to be able to slow down, in 2006 she suffered a stroke and another massive one in 2007. Not taunting or making light of this situation; I am a fan on Angela Bofill her story merely allowed me to reflect.

What are our travels here on Earth about, if we cannot share and assist others in their ventures. We exist in a state of envy; we strive for more and greed has become a part of our culture. You don’t talk of instant gratification, it is a way of life. We see the beautiful people with the beautiful THINGS and think, “Wow what a beautiful life. Why did he commit suicide?Why is she on drugs? Why can’t they have a successful relationship?” Surely if YOU were given “their” opportunity, success, life you’d do it another way. Consider this “they” probably had the very same thought at one time.

If you have a favorite food  as I do, you may be able to use it as your road to understanding, and if need be change. Think about that favorite food, think of having more than enough of it placed before you, think of how you love and desire it, think of the first taste and then diving face first into it without the care or concern of someone watching you. How long could you continue eating it; is your answer until I got full or until I got sick? Then ask yourself would you actually push it to either of those limits. Think about long term repercussions; sometimes when you have too much of something it ruins it for you, you may never want it again, but then how sad is that because  you will recall you used to feel quite a bit different about that same food. On the other hand if you don’t become sickened by this same dish and you continue to go on you will lose appreciation for it. Any way you go, overdoing/ overindulging meets with a similar fate and disaster is generally a part of it.

Therefore appreciate and respect that which you have. Take the perks, rewards, luxuries in stride and spread them out over time. You may not get to them all but surely you will have time to sample them, and that may be enough. For life truly holds NO guarantees, exception being all will end.

Posted in Epiphany and tagged , , | Leave a comment
09 Sep 2013
4 Comments

“The Butler” A Review and Beyond

A couple of days ago, I saw The Butler. No matter how much one thinks they know about history, there will inevitably be something that rises to the surface to let you know you haven’t scratched it.

At first I did not pay close attention to the demographic of the people in the theater. However there was a delay due to technical difficulty, which gave me an opportunity to actually look around and see who was there.  My friend and I went to an mid-morning show; it was very balanced by gender and race, the age range was (in my opinion) across the board 50-somethings and you can imagine why.

Based on the life-story of Eugene Allen; the movie had all the intensity and impact of that which is genuine. It grabs you within the first five minutes and jars your soul, then it slowly brings you back with astounding and amazing experiences. You will be oblivious to the fact, this is not a real person. End credits and research afterwards brought this back into my recollection.

I tried to think as I watched the story unfold; overcome with emotion I abandoned any hope of connecting facts and information, the objective now was for me to allow myself to simply feel. How must one feel to be opinion-less in an environment of the opinionated, colorblind in a sea of color coded reality, silent and invisible all the while wanting to scream.

The movie began when the character Cecil was a child, the era when my own father was a child; my heart ached as I came to terms with what was probably my father’s reality during that period in America. I tried to escape my emotions as I watched the Presidents, I was aware of, and the events that were taking place during their terms in office. Civil Rights Movement, Assassinations, Vietnam War, Impeachment and “Reganomics”. I reflected on how these historic events touched my life and affected me. I could not fathom what it would have been like, right there at the pulse of these very same events and be stifled. Life does not allow spectators, you HAVE to be an active participant and there are no exceptions. The film did a great job of depicting the turmoil and challenges of an individual placed in a position that went against numerous natural and human reactions.

I wondered what went on in the hearts and minds of an overall unjust people, in the presence of the people their group actively oppressed and harmed. I questioned if they had any idea about what risks they took, entrusting their very lives and lives of their loved ones, with people who had nothing but  overwhelming reason to want to destroy their very being.  I thought,” what a sad, sick society we live(d) in.” Then I related to the “two faces” one must display(and generally does) in the presence of the group in power.

I wondered what the audience in the theater with me thought of the film. All of my friends and family who have seen “The Butler“heralded it wonderful, in short. It is a box office smash, therefore it can be deemed a success. The movie made a tremendous mark upon me and I only hope it has the same effect on all who see it. If that happens it then can be said, “mission accomplished”.

Posted in Everybody's Critic and tagged , ,
26 Aug 2013
1 Comment

Fear

Frozen and unable to move. Have you ever felt like this? What do you think of when you think of fear. I  am not taking about shaking in your boots type, Dracula jumping at you from the big screen fear. This is the subtle one. The one you don’t know or admit to having. It is very dangerous because it will crop up at the most inopportune times.

I loved the water, loved the beach, but I never learned how to swim. Southern California girl who rode to the beach on her bike with her best friend weekly, could NOT swim a stroke.

We took swimming in high school gym class, it was mandatory. Along with the concerns a black girl has for her hair(although mine didn’t look that great back then anyway), I hated the class in general. I did not like changing in the open locker room and I did not like sports. Thus that was partially why I was not in shape. I was overweight and you had to wear these school issue suits; the thin fit girls had sleek-black-recently- purchase-almost cute- one pieced suits, while we fat girls(and at that time there were not many) had these turquoise-burlap-elastic stressed/stretched-out dinosaurs-with semi-skirted bottoms, also one-pieced. Imagining ugly, is only scratching the surface. So if you did not know you were “fat” the color coding was there. After a semester of training I did manage to pass the class with the help of this tiny little blonde named Meliss (not Melissa either). I was a freshman and had no idea who Meliss was and found myself shocked to discover she was a student aid. Good thing you are virtually weightless in water, otherwise I would have been ranked far outside of Meliss’ weight-class.  I was not comfortable in the water, so years later and after I had children, I enrolled in a class at the local college I attended.  It was a six week course, I got through two the first time in tried taking the class and three weeks on the second effort.

My oldest son was taking swimming lessons at  age six, I did not want him to suffer my fate of being a non swimmer, he did great.   One day as we waited for class to conclude his brother(less than two at the time)  broke free from me, ran straight for and jumped fearlessly into the pool. He, of course, was fine he was actually dog paddling like a pro and laughing with complete joy. The fact that he was surrounded by so many staffers ready and able to “save ” him, well a non-swimmer mother could not ask for a better spot to be put “on the spot”. It was there, at that moment I realized I was afraid of the water.  Years of  proclaiming love for  the beach , the ocean, pools, water… ; I was petrified when my child jumped into that perfectly blue, perfectly ph-balanced, perfectly supervised pool, because I WAS AFRAID OF WATER… how could I save him. That was sobering, but it allowed me to face a fact. Even though I tried to accomplish the feat of swimming, unaware of my actual  state of mind, I could not because something inside of me was holding me back. I still cannot swim, but I now know it is fear that stops me.

That subtle-quiet-just-below-the-surface fear. The type that kept you from going away to college, because you didn’t want to leave the familiar surroundings of home. The type that won’t allow you on the dance floor, because you worry that people will pay such close attention to the fact you don’t have rhythm. The type that makes you hesitate when you are offered an opportunity to do something that you say you love and feel you are good at, but are terrified you will fail so you do nothing. What you do instead is give up the water, you miss your chance at the experience of being educated both formally and socially, you bypass a chance at just having some fun at the party, or you let go of a dream.

Don’t let it happen; the thing that you think you are afraid of, that which you imagine is far worse than it actually is, if you come face to face with it. Face your fear and move forward.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , ,
24 Aug 2013
1 Comment

Coming To Terms And Finding Balance

Early mornings when it is dark and quiet, thoughts are free to float about in your mind. Many people will not have this experience for numerous reasons the most obvious being, they simply aren’t morning folk.  After 36 years of pre-dawn starts, it is my norm.

I was reading a nice story about reconnecting and it made me smile. The story was of a siblings finding one another after 30 years! Exciting right; but if you have lost touch with someone it will bring a bit of melancholy to you whether or not this separation was intentional.

Everything in our lives works or doesn’t because we are in a state that puts us at unrest. We search for a mate, we search for a job, we search for dinner; none of these are impossible to obtain, it is just we are confused about the combinations of what factors will give us satisfaction and ultimately end our search. We want to reach the “finish line”.

Anticipation or exhaustion, you have gotten to your limit. Now that you have made this determination you must live with it, and that may be easier said than done. Here is where finding balance comes in. I tag myself notorious for “thinking things through, and generally I am convinced of just that. However, I also have to note those well thought through, deliberate notions do not always have staying power.

They (deliberate notions) are well thought out for the short-term and disguised as long-term decisions. They say,” Absolutely, my decision, I can live with this”. Five, Thirteen, Twenty-Five years down the line when the only thing that has seemingly changed is you, are you still gonna say,” you can live with it” and remember why it was you made that statement in the first place.

What do you say? It sounds good, feels good, looks good to be representative of something that is beyond a top-surface. Yet in reality, we all know it takes a little bit more of your entire being to really demonstrate ones actual heart. Doing things with conviction versus having an ulterior motive may be the best gauge you have available to you, so govern yourself accordingly. Don’t do things for reaction or results in this/these instance(s), sometimes it may not be what you expect or want. The balance will come if you are truly putting something of real value into what you hope to convey.  Remember, “You get what you give.”

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , , ,
24 Aug 2013

Lovin You..Tests Me Every Day

I think of Minnie Ripperton’s song “Lovin You” so this post has a theme song and if you read on the melody will be the same but the words will totally change.

Let me address the critics who will comb through my title and take me verbatim;  words like all every, never, always.. Well we know that the absolute is not intended they are for uses that addresses the extreme, to amplify seriousness, or to imply how very widespread the thought is. That said, love and loving is a wonderful thing. We love our parents, our spouses, our children, our friends, our siblings and the subsections of each. That is a lotta love. When I talk about tests, one might look at this as a challenge, a difficulty, or simply something to get through.

Most people don’t like test and the interpretation might be a lotta love = a lotta work. Well what of it? I mean haven’t you ever taken a test and done well on it. Think about how you felt then and apply it to love.

My 3 year old granddaughter is becoming increasingly active; at first I was up for the challenge of keeping up, now I must admit it is more difficult than I allowed myself to believe. At times I feel bad because I just don’t want to do anything but rest, and I worry that she will begin to equate me with the notion of people and places you’d just NOT rather be around. All this because I cannot always keep up with someone who is, in short a dynamo! I tell myself it is okay if we skip Monkey Joe’s this weekend and we opt for the Merry-Go-Round at the mall.

What about you parents of teens. The budding adults, who want to be treated with respect and given freedoms. All the while, leaving wet towels in their bedrooms and dirty dishes in the sink. Did they miss the part about responsibility going hand and hand with being treated more like an adult. Here you are a virtual germ-a-phobe living under the same roof as “Pig-Pen”.  You prep for “warfare” verbal or physical, meaning you clean up or yell at them to do what they knew they should do in the first place.  Aren’t you tested, it doesn’t mean you love this child of yours any less, just that a particular part of them tests your very being.

Just for fun let’s toss in some sibling rivalry, spouse relations, and aging parents; I will leave those out there for you to decipher. Tell me if you don’t think love tests you and I leave you with the reminder that the song of Minnie Ripperton, which I referenced in the beginning, ends with a tribute to her daughter Miya(you hear her name over and over) whose crying was testing her very talented parent.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , , | Leave a comment
11 Aug 2013

So, You’re Trying NOT To Be Excellent

Seasons are drawing to a close, seasons are rapidly approaching;I am talking sports seasons here folks but this piece encompasses life.

I am both a golf enthusiast and a football FAN(atic)! I have written about my favorite “hate to love him” golfer several times while only giving a group nod to the sport I truly love,FOOTBALL. Today in the midst of mediocrity (my opinion) this post came to me. I struggled through Pre-season football  and I watched Tiger Woods.

One week ago Tiger played a tournament as though he was the only participant; there was Tiger and then there was the rest of the field, and this week I saw a display of what felt like a woman during her monthly cycle, not all there and no visible sign of concern. His scores at the respective tournaments reflect as much too.  I saw him gain a substantial lead last week and basically coast into his victory, while this week he looked tired, disinterested, and ready to get off the course to have lunch/dinner/sex/whatever.  Forgive the sarcasm but I HATE THAT!

It made me think back to a couple of years ago when the Indianapolis Colts(not my favorite team either) came painfully close to matching the perfect season  of the Miami Dolphins and instead decide to sit Payton Manning down one game after the first quarter. Why, because they knew they were going to win, but if they didn’t their playoff spot was secured. They were wrong.  The decision resulted in a loss for the Colts.Afterwards the  front office issued a statement that let you know the record wasn’t important to THEM!  What did they mean “not important to THEM”, what about US, the fans? Don’t we count? Apparently not and I hated that too. I have been pulling AGAINST the Colts ever since.

As a fan I wonder do these professional athletes, teams, and owners decided we have to divvy out wins and losses so the fan base will remain and be interested. There is no reason to display the prowess and superb talent. THE MONEY FACTOR has become so vast and important that everyone who has control of these respective sports and their respective selves have forgotten; without US the FANS, no matter how many sponsors you have, you will ultimately have NOTHING!  Tell me why you would squander God Given talent anyway? That which sets you apart, that which makes people take notice, filling grandstands and stadiums alike; you would randomly toss  aside. Really?

Anyone can have a bad day; but it is insulting to be treated as though we cannot tell the difference between a bad day, and a day when  you just don’t give a damn. I suppose that is why I feel the way I do about Tiger Woods, he is the best but he doesn’t always bring the best with him; he doesn’t care, he doesn’t have to care, AND it shows. Each tournament I pull for him in I am asking that I be put out of my misery, for there is nothing WORSE than having so much available to you and  to treat it as though it is nothing. I need him to break a couple more records and then I shall be free!  Football I will once again site football because of my love for it, but this applies to all team sports though; shouldn’t there be a group effort that move you toward the unifying feeling of conquest and accomplishment?

Now we parlay all of this into life in general; what is it that you do, and do you put forth your best effort every time you do it? Don’t you owe it to the ones who love, adore, and count on you, to deliver to them your very best no matter what that may be. When and why does it become okay NOT to be excellent, when you have demonstrated excellence and know there is still more to give. I mean left-overs are what remains after the planned/thought out meal concludes. They are the extra to be used or eventually tossed out, but by the time you get to them, the memory of what they once were has faded. What do you want to be; the well thought through plan, or the extra remains thereof.

Posted in Everybody's Critic and tagged , , , | Leave a comment
05 Aug 2013
3 Comments

The Last Word

I am going to take you back to the school yard here, the argument that leads to the fight, the calling out. Depending on your selection of words this is where the true blows are thrown.

Sometimes we get into discussions and they turn into debates. Last one standing wins, right?  Well not in Musical Chairs. The need to be the loudest or having the last word is reminiscent of our childhood. The person we were to become crying out, ” I am here notice me, I have something to say.” In adult world it is just down right annoying.  For as bad as being “shushed” or silenced it is equally irritating to have someone constantly placing an addendum to what you have to say. “You do it first, No you do it first, no you…” in an endless cycle until one tires and their silence concedes a victory to the other, is what comes to mind.

Fast Forward today; there is someone in your life that lives, embodies, exemplifies having the last word. To them it doesn’t matter if what they are saying is truthful or relevant, all it has to be is enough to validate they spoke last. They aren’t particularly agreeable and they also need to be right, whether or not what they are saying is CORRECT does not matter. Yet when you encounter them, know you have a very simple way of disarming them. It does require a bit of ego cleansing on your part though. All you have to do is say,” You are right___”. That does not say you agree, it simply says you aren’t going to argue and/or debate with someone who clearly has the answer(s) already, all the answers. This may take a time or two for this individual to catch on but the reward will be great, and you also spare yourself the fate of becoming exactly like the one you are trying to teach the lesson,” It isn’t the point you have the last word, it is that you say something significant whenever you speak.”

Posted in Quickbits and tagged , ,

Post Navigation

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →