hafacenturyncounting

Motivated by a lack of material.

14 Jun 2011

Let’s Fix This

This sounds like it is a simple enough task. First we have to assess the damage though, we cannot simply jump in there and start working without knowing what we are up against. We may leave out or completely miss a very necessary step. Wait a minute, I think this will be an ideal spot for some blame.

It would be nice if someone would step up and say, “I assume all responsibility here and if you give me an opportunity I will rectify the situation”, but that would take a lot more character than we sometimes have available to us. Honestly, didn’t you see this coming? Why do we make the determination that if we act as though nothing is wrong, no one else will be able to see that there is.

Doing things the right way, doing the right thing is not as easy as it sounds. It should be though. There is the element of lazy, there is the need to outsmart and then when you get caught there is the denial and search for a scapegoat.

My offered solution is that take up a task, you do what you are doing with your first thought of God. If you work like you are doing that individual job for the Lord, I am sure it will take on an entirely new meaning for you. In the times where I have lost sight of that, I have invariably lost out. Here I am, AGAIN, having to pick up after what I should have taken care of properly in the first place. Remorseful and embarrassed, I hope NOT to be in this place again. However, my track record for being human stands intact and unblemished. Therefore, I am off to do some damage control and accept whatever the outcome may be.

Posted in Order of Appearance | Leave a comment
11 Jun 2011
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Ignoring History

It is said that, “Fools who do not know history are destined to repeat it”. I want this to reach people who are oblivious to this, as well as ones who are aware. Sometimes things stare at you in the face and you still walk right into them.

Of mistakes, all parents want to spare their offspring the pains and discomforts of life. We would like their paths to be filled with success and bounty. If they must experience difficulty let it be minor, and let them be prepared to escape the bad as rapidly as possible and recover from it even faster.

In a hopeful state I believe I will get this out and rescue the inhabitants of a “sinking ship”. As I watch the animosity from its conception, I see it growing with intolerance. Although, one cannot truly direct the paths of adults one can try. Fearfully, I address an ill feeling that I am somehow responsible. I am helpless and incompetent. The only thing I have to offer is what I have lived through and am currently living with. Not wanting  this to happen to you, but still unwilling to offer the olive leaf. Have I condemned you with my stubbornness? It may be as simple as a self examination; what do you need to do to rectify your situation and are you willing to try?

We work very hard to try to make our children better than us, but they are us. They see us in our weakest hours at our most vulnerable states, and no matter how we try to hide these things from them, they see anyway. Let see if we can fix these things that seem to be on the road to irreparable damage. Sure they can be fixed, they require a bit of work. You need to discover the truth; your truth, their truth, and the real truth. Take the blame away and be willing to say, “I am sorry” and mean it.  Saying I am sorry doesn’t always require you know why you are sorry, just that you are willing to express it with sincerity.

This is just a start, but doesn’t each journey require a first step?

Posted in Order of Appearance
11 Jun 2011
1 Comment

I’m Always Grumpy In The Morning

Do you know people like this. They growl, snort, or give off a silent air of contempt until they have had a morning cup of java or a specific amount of time has passed since they were plucked from the arms of their slumber. No matter how understandable this is, it does not make it right and it certainly does not make it any less annoying.

Some of this comes from wanting a later start, I am sure there are a number of folks that would prefer morning started at noon. Early has always been a part of my life, if I sleep until nine it feels like I have lost  a great deal of the productive day.

What do you do if your day does start off bad? Do you carry it around and share it with others, or do you try to get beyond it. I promise you no one wants a share of “your bad”, they probably have some of their own. Yet, if you make an effort to get beyond this stuff and give out some positive energy, you may  in deed get a good deal of positive back. All I am saying is you really have nothing to loose.

It is amazing what  your mind can do. Work on a way to get that morning started better right in bed. If it is saying a prayer aloud or silently, if it means laying there a second or two telling yourself” It is going to be a good morning”,  if you have time and energy for an indulgence of the youthful, go for it!

Waking up gives us all another opportunity to make the changes in our lives that will take us closer to our destiny. Yet this wonderful gift is often time taken for granted and treated as though it is a crime that it arrived. Morning generally associated with beginnings, it sets the tone for the day. Do you really want your next 24 hours to be a reflection of a bad start? Therefore, I will bring this to an end with a bit of nostalgia from the 1970’s. Have a nice day.

Posted in Order of Appearance
04 Jun 2011

Are You Ready for $5 A Gallon?

It is coming whether or not you are ready for it. In amazement and utter disgust, I watch the price of oil product change several times a day. Of late it has generally been increases.

I ask myself how do they get away with this? The oil companies have us exactly where they want us, but then haven’t they had us there since the seventies? I recall the gas lines as a child in California. Sitting in line for hours sometimes and then on alternating odd/even license plate number days.  They made us wait in very uncomfortable circumstances for the privilege of “robbing and raping” us at the pump. Here we are all over again. I mean at least back, then they did try to explain themselves. Today we get no satisfaction, no explanations, and no respect. The prices change from one hour to the next and what do we do, we have to buy that gasoline. We have to get to work, go to school, etc.

I caution you to brace yourselves. The oil companies aggravate us to a point of exhaustion and then we are too tired to fight. We give in and become resentfully submissive. They actually gave us a reprieve during this holiday weekend but, I am confident they will reach the projected number before this autumn. This is a tactic to get us off guard. We take a deep breath or a sigh of relief, we think to ourselves, “It has finally leveled off” and then they start all over again with a vengeance.

What can we really do? Well you can limit unnecessary travel; don’t make extra trips to the store, pleasure rides,  road trips or vacations using the car are a thing of the past. From now on when you think of your car and fueling up think of it as a necessary EVIL. You can buy smaller amounts of gas when you do need fuel, this will cause you to make more trips to the  gas station, take up more of your valuable time, thus it will serve as a reminder of how taxing the process is. All we can do as consumers is to express our dissatisfaction in a way to get the oil companies attention and that is hitting them in the pocket, no matter how deep those pockets are. Don’t give in to the thought process that makes you think your participation will not count. It is that same line of thinking that keeps people from voting. Your voice does count, it does matter, and it can make a difference.  Write your Congressman or State Representative. Perhaps if enough little voices express dissatisfaction, the combined outcry may get the needed attention. We have to realize that we may not get immediate results either, but if something is accomplished, if it is just  media coverage saying, “Small Angry Group Voices Disdain”, it may be enough to attract more angry little voices or two or three BIG LOUD angry voices.

For the moment ride the teaser $3.59 per gallon gasoline. Forgive me here, but they are getting ready to give it to us without lubrication. When it comes, when it reaches $5.00 per gallon we will look back and tell our grandchildren, “I remember when gas was only…. “with tears in our eyes.

Posted in As Consumers | Leave a comment
01 Jun 2011
2 Comments

What Ifs and Why Didn’ts

Curious how in the middle of things, those type of questions rear their heads. It can make one somewhat breathless as you allow your mind to travel there. The land of endless promise and hope, now a desolate wasteland of reality.

The cliffs that overlooked the ocean, the kiss that took your breath away and the song you heard playing in your head. How about the job across the country that you passed up for the familiarity of home. For years these memories stay with you and then one day the memory walks into your life again in the most random form. Oddly enough it is as though no time has passed, but you have to realize that a lifetime has gone by. There you are stuck in a state of wonder.

Sometimes when it is quiet, I put on some soft/smooth jazz and search the archives of my mind. There I find some dust covered recollection. I wipe it off and begin thumbing through. Being ever mindful that this is very delicate, even touchy stuff. I don’t want to damage it, but am aware bringing it into the light could easily destroy whatever else it is exposed to. I still have to take a peek, because some of this is really good.

The plans were made, but when the time came to execute something went wrong. It had to occur to you that this ended the way it should. No matter the reason, failure itself was an indicator that this was flawed to begin with. The next time you are face to face you act as though nothing happened, although you know something really did. You sit at your desk and push aside the newspaper that holds an article about a former colleague just named CEO in the company that you bypassed and know he was the second choice to you back then.

State of mind has all to do with the way you view this feeling of limbo. If you are happy, you merely dismiss it with a slight smile. If you are not happy those endless possibilities begin to take over.

It is unfortunate for some that life does not supply us with a built-in closer, someone to finish the job one who will tie up the loose ends. My closer would have to come with an extra push accessory. That speaks to personal, as well as career driven subjects.

I think a major contributor or culprit to our mind’s state of inquiry is the expectation factor. Examine it a little. Let’s suppose your “What if/Why didn‘t” concerned a certain individual and it didn’t pan out don’t you think of the possibilities from the standpoint of; “this aspect of life wouldn’t be this way because “blank” would do things in the fashion I would want”. If it concerns a business venture or employment; “that job, or position, or deal would have changed my entire life ,because it certainly would have made things better from an economic standpoint just for starters”. We want a positive result, we have a different reality therefore it is only natural that we would EXPECT  things to turn out better if we had gone the other way.

We are simply too one dimensional and romantic in our thought patterns to just travel a small step beyond, when these yearnings enter in our minds. Check out the flip side, if you will. Life is filled with possibilities; when you do find yourself romanticizing about them give yourself the benefit of the doubt, and realize there may be a down side to the fantasy.

Posted in Order of Appearance
26 May 2011
2 Comments

Self Service or No Service

Well what is the difference? We went shopping for a few grocery items, it was about 7:30 p.m. on a Saturday evening. There were two lines open attended by human beings,  one was 15 items or less, and four self-service lanes.

Now people, this is not nuclear physics here, I am a big fan of getting in and out of a place. I utilize  the self-service machines as often as possible. They are generally efficient and lack attitude. However, I do believe the idea behind them is supposed to be speed and efficiency.  What was  the manager of this store thinking when he set-up a schedule that allowed him to close the only other lane in the store capable of handling customers with 16 items or more? I think most of us can hold our own with a couple of items to check out and bag, but when the numbers increase the time does too. Here is the scenario; you have one lane that can take care of any sized order, one lane that takes care of small orders and four machines that will help customers delay other customers and make the shopping experience a dreaded event. That makes sense? Do self service machines give the humans an excuse not to be of service?

Workers complain about cut hours, yet in a situation like this rarely do you see the checker step back, make eye contact, or do anything that resembles customer service. How many times have you encountered an employee, made an inquiry, and actually got what you needed or at the very least you felt like they were truly trying to help you. I found myself feeling the need to explain to an individual who was supposed to be providing me with service.

I do not want to become one of those people with a “perpetual chip-on- my-shoulder. Always aware of the wrongs others are guilty of but not of my own. Perhaps that is why I did bother saying something to the young woman whose line I “invaded”. I felt justified, yet if someone with 15 items or less said something to me, what would my response be? The truth is I wanted to get my order taken care of a fast as possible so I could go about my business. I could have gone to customer service, asked for the manager and lodged my complaint. In turn he ( I know the manager) would have apologized, corrected the situation or both. At any rate it would have taken longer to do that than to just go to the line and get checked out.

Entitlement comes to use in a variety of disguises, but eventually it will reveal itself. Although I felt justified in what I did, I was still in the wrong line. We expect customer service and when we don’t get it we become a bit out of line. I had three choices and I did none of them. I have to tell you if someone would have come up behind me and said,” What’s going on here; this is the 15 item or less line, can’t you read?” I would have been embarrassed and probably angry. Who knows what that would have led to.

The right thing to do would not have solved my problem immediately, but it may have had a better long term effect. I suppose if I walk into that store again and the same conditions exist, I will have to accept some responsibility for things being that way. Furthermore, what will I do this time?

Posted in As Consumers
23 May 2011
2 Comments

All Things Good

This is about an aspect of the individual I am, and the influences that I believe can be attributed to why I am the way I am. In short I credit the bulk of the positive to others and I assume the responsibility for the negative. However, through it all it is just me. Basically, a mild character analysis.

A lifetime ago I read Colleen McCullough’s The Thorn Birds. There was a line in the novel where Cardinal Ralph de Bricassart told,  unbeknownst to him, his illegitimate son Dane not to follow in his footsteps because he had broken every sacred vow to God and the Catholic Church. Well I am not as bad as Cardinal deBricassart, but I have sinned in my life. It is not really important to what extent, what sins I have committed or even how many times. I am simply owning up to being human.

As I recall what I believe is my first conscious memory of the first time I was reprimanded for doing something wrong, that was major. We must eliminate the spankings for not listening or making too much noise, they count there are just too many.

Beyond pain and punishment what will really keep you from doing what you really want to do? As small children we are at the mercy of our parents, when you become older and then an adult there are outsiders who do not care about you that one must deal with, the very thing your parents warned you about. There was the drawing power of something forbidden and the strength of ones need to do what they want.

I have watched myself and others caught, having to own up to these wrongs. I will not say there are no regrets, but I do believe there is quite a ratio of difference between being truly sorry and sorry that one was caught.  Honestly, I do not really like to think about that difference. There it is my “Ugly Truth”.

As we grow older we like to/tend to ignore we used to act on our devil-may-care whims. Sometimes we forget, oftentimes we pretend to. That is okay as long as you keep it to yourself and do not try to judge others for what they are currently doing incorrectly. I suggest helping instead; that means abandoning the self-righteous attitude, it doesn’t work for it is simply not believable.

I wish I could dance like no one was watching, but there are the inhibitions that keep me at bay. I wonder why there wasn’t something as strong that would have kept me from doing the questionable things? Although a simple matter of faith should have been my deterrent.

I search to end with something profound, I turn to my Bible and I suggest you do the same.

Posted in Order of Appearance
23 May 2011

Don’t Talk About My Father

A close to my heart subject; and one I want to beyond all, to do justice to it. However, this is only a blog and all I can offer is my best effort. This is dedicated to all the fathers, dads and daddies. I also have to give a  resounding shout to the single moms who had to be both, mom and dad.

The title is an excerpt from a Marvin Gaye” song from the What‘s Going On album . My father, my dear “play” father , and two wonderful ladies who served as mother and father instantly come to mind when I  hear this song. The images of four very special people come to me and images of them are fresh in my mind and deep in my heart. I feel so very blessed by God for having each of them in my life.

Growing up in a time when divorce was on the rise;I had my dad  Albert J. Cates Sr., with me through the formative years, my early adulthood, and my children were able to see and experience their grandfather. I am a better person because he was in my life, but I can only hope I am a slight reflection of the goodness that existed within him. Upon his passing there stood another man, not to replace but to help fill a void. Without missing a beat he was there; Theodore’s entrance into my life was virtually unremarkable, because he had been around since I was a small child. He taught me what it was to be truly kind to people and his love was felt by all who were fortunate enough to meet him. He did all of this without saying a word, it was demonstrated through his deeds. And what of the ladies?  First there was Shirley;  she impacted my life tremendously, though she departed this life before either of the men, I knew her as a strong wonderful influence. Last but not least would be my dear bubbly-yet-no-nonsense Elaine . Ms. Elaine was/is a  friend you could confide in, but without missing a beat she would put you in your place. Both of the ladies shared a common characteristic, and that was a presence that made you know given a choice you might want to challenge a man instead.  I could speak volumes on each of these people and still be at a loss for words.

I have to stop and think of how marvelous it is to have your father in your life, because I always had mine. I know, I took this particular aspect for granted. This also has to bring to light how unbelievably resilient and amazing a single woman is that takes on the role of both parents.

Fatherhood is no easy undertaking. The strong stoic individual has to go against his very nature to be soft and approachable. He must always maintain our view of what manhood is. Down to the most miniscule part of him such as his voice he must imply and command respect,  there are numerous times it must be done without saying a word. Having him in your life affords you the confidence of, “no matter what is going on, it will be alright because he is there and he will make it so”. I  never gave this a conscious thought, because everyday of my entire life up until a  little over a year ago I had that. I cannot fathom what a small helpless child feels without a someone like that in their life. I know how vulnerable I feel as an adult without this amazing being.

For the women who must assume this role she has the dual challenge of being the nurturer and disciplinarian. Her soft sweet voice has to take on the unnatural power of that missing piece. What is inside of her aching for the relief of his very presence can never be visible. Her success is seen through her children, but she pays a high price.

We have an obligation to our children, they all require and deserve to have the very basic, yet amazing love of a “father”. If you happen to fit into this particular role realize and remember how very special you are. If you do not, take care and consideration before you take it on. We have all been touched by an individual who does, one way or the other.

If you don’t believe anything else in this life, believe the Lord knows exactly what you need, when you need it, and he provides it. As Father’s Day approaches, approximately one month away, I am reminded of these four individuals.  I cannot help feeling so very fortunate. Each of them holds a very special place in my heart. I ask myself what made me so special to have been blessed with all of their presence. I thank my Heavenly Father for these gifts he bestowed upon me.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged | Leave a comment
23 May 2011
2 Comments

VII-Haftafindyourwaythrough

The resounding echo of silence invades my head now. After a marathon of words I am screeching to a silent stop. I need a bit of a break, the writing takes something out of me, because I feel what I am saying. I must interpret these as  pregnant pauses in order to recover, regroup, and refresh.

Here you are alone. More of your life is behind you than ahead, at least as far as new experiences are concerned. What road do you take? Do you make due and stay single or do you venture out? This one required me to actually do some research. I was/am unqualified and unequipped to address this subject on certain levels, in spite of my having quite strong opinions. My results will not be filled with stats and graphs, but information obtained from real and personal contacts.

The research began and it began with individuals very close to me. I want to see these folks happy, I believe they all deserve happiness and not the opinion of what others think happiness is.

The ladies tended to be successful in their business or chosen career. Therefore, they possess the economic spoils of doing well, nice homes,  furnishings, cars, etc. “Can you say intimidating boys and girls?” To that I ask why?  At this particular time in our lives haven’t we learned about the temporary state of “things”? They express the same high standard involving expectations in relationships. Although they are dealing with  something that is a bit more difficult to gauge.

The gentlemen in the same status had a devil-may-care attitude.They were open when it came to relationships, until one day they really examined the age factor. Then suddenly they needed the spouse, children, and in spite of the newness they(the family) needed to catch up and be age appropriate with them. They had  generally decided that the domestic aspect of life was not for them; and then with the wave of a hand changed their minds, but it took a few decades.

I submit that these individuals have spent a great deal of time without the challenges of relationships on a very specific level and no matter how appealing this may appear, they would/will be in for a rude awakening. What I am presenting is not mind-boggling or earthshaking. They are all very desirable, charming, and intelligent. They all simply want what they want, and that attitude alone is not cohesive with the type of relationship that they are seeking. Settling has been something they have managed to avoid, but in this venture if some compromising is not done failure is eminent. I smile as I think of trying to match them up with one another, but the idea of this gives me images of two cats fighting in a bag. My suggestion would be to slow it down and I am sure that will be received with contempt. Ironic, is the word I apply to it all.

What is missing and can it be filled with something else? Have we become so one dimensional that we can only operate if we have all the same “things” that everyone else we know has. I think it is important to note that none of us is truly alone with no one that cares.

Having a warm body next to you, can sometimes translates into desperation and settling. However, standing by your convictions sets you up for load of disappointments and a scant selection of what would be considered suitable. As our age advances, our considerations become less distinctive. Voids need to be filled, society tells us this is so and we buy into this thought-pattern.

I am a hopeless romantic. Although, life experiences have encouraged me to abandon the Disney/Fairytale ideals, I am still a seven year old at heart. If I am completely honest, I wish I could reach inside my soul and pluck that romanticism out of me.  However,the romanticism is one of those things that you’d have to characterize as; when it feels good it is so good, but when it is bad it is HELL! Hey call me a sadist, I’m gonna hang onto it.

Posted in Hafwaythroughpoints and tagged , , ,
18 May 2011
4 Comments

Giving Em The Business

Expectations of professionalism and quality are my first thoughts. Dropped like a hot potato; one of my oldest reliable clients told me that my services were going to be cancelled. She said immediately,” It was nothing we did, that they(she and her husband) were trying to cut expenses.”‘ She went on to say that she/they would like to periodically use us and how would she go about doing this. I explained the procedure, but I was still in the beginning of the conversation. No matter what she said my mind asked over and over “What just happened here?”, because I did not see this coming. I did not have an opportunity to suggest an alternative plan, because it seemed to me her mind was made up. I did not want to be invasive, but I would be lying if I said I took her entirely at “face value”.

Losing this client brought to light that I had violated something I vowed I would not do in my business practices, I got personally involved.  I felt like I lost a friend along with that revenue. I was damaged, hurt, and insulted. Observing what I believed to be a very southern practice; over and over I witnessed individuals insinuating themselves into the lives of people who they wanted to do work,  people they wanted to work for, and/or people they wanted provide services to or obtain services from. It seemed to me that in their minds, if you were friends “we” could conduct business and if “I” need to do something outside the realm of business (such as hold a check for payment repeatedly) it was somehow more acceptable. No matter this was a ploy or disingenuous.

I never really thought much of the two week notice practice. I felt like an employer asks for what they are unwilling to provide circumstances reversed. After all they do not tell you they are letting you go in two weeks when they terminate you. I also had seen the way employees were treated when they gave that required expected notification. Now I am forced to rethink that position. I  suppose it may have been better if my former client gave me an advanced notification such as; after the next visit we are cancelling in opposed to I am cancelling service. Realistically, speaking she treated me like I was just someone who worked for her. News Flash, that is exactly who I am!

Questions arose; did I do or not do something right, are they really having financial issues. Honestly, the only real concern I should have had was, if our work performance and work ethic were stable and intact . If I could give an affirmative response to those questions, I would have done what is required and expected of me as a business owner and service  provider. Truth is clients/customers/business contacts enter and depart from you and your business. They are as any other individual because at the root they are just people: here for a reason or for a season.

However, it is just business, and I must bounce back and recover. For future references though, I will keep the thought of NOT getting personally involved with my customers/clients in the forefront. I must continue to try to do what I would tell you I currently do; Treat people/clients/customers the way I want to be treated.

Posted in As Consumers

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