What Ifs and Why Didn’ts
Curious how in the middle of things, those type of questions rear their heads. It can make one somewhat breathless as you allow your mind to travel there. The land of endless promise and hope, now a desolate wasteland of reality.
The cliffs that overlooked the ocean, the kiss that took your breath away and the song you heard playing in your head. How about the job across the country that you passed up for the familiarity of home. For years these memories stay with you and then one day the memory walks into your life again in the most random form. Oddly enough it is as though no time has passed, but you have to realize that a lifetime has gone by. There you are stuck in a state of wonder.
Sometimes when it is quiet, I put on some soft/smooth jazz and search the archives of my mind. There I find some dust covered recollection. I wipe it off and begin thumbing through. Being ever mindful that this is very delicate, even touchy stuff. I don’t want to damage it, but am aware bringing it into the light could easily destroy whatever else it is exposed to. I still have to take a peek, because some of this is really good.
The plans were made, but when the time came to execute something went wrong. It had to occur to you that this ended the way it should. No matter the reason, failure itself was an indicator that this was flawed to begin with. The next time you are face to face you act as though nothing happened, although you know something really did. You sit at your desk and push aside the newspaper that holds an article about a former colleague just named CEO in the company that you bypassed and know he was the second choice to you back then.
State of mind has all to do with the way you view this feeling of limbo. If you are happy, you merely dismiss it with a slight smile. If you are not happy those endless possibilities begin to take over.
It is unfortunate for some that life does not supply us with a built-in closer, someone to finish the job one who will tie up the loose ends. My closer would have to come with an extra push accessory. That speaks to personal, as well as career driven subjects.
I think a major contributor or culprit to our mind’s state of inquiry is the expectation factor. Examine it a little. Let’s suppose your “What if/Why didn‘t” concerned a certain individual and it didn’t pan out don’t you think of the possibilities from the standpoint of; “this aspect of life wouldn’t be this way because “blank” would do things in the fashion I would want”. If it concerns a business venture or employment; “that job, or position, or deal would have changed my entire life ,because it certainly would have made things better from an economic standpoint just for starters”. We want a positive result, we have a different reality therefore it is only natural that we would EXPECT things to turn out better if we had gone the other way.
We are simply too one dimensional and romantic in our thought patterns to just travel a small step beyond, when these yearnings enter in our minds. Check out the flip side, if you will. Life is filled with possibilities; when you do find yourself romanticizing about them give yourself the benefit of the doubt, and realize there may be a down side to the fantasy.
Wow,this is deep….