hafacenturyncounting

Motivated by a lack of material.

19 Sep 2011

Finding That “Perfect” Fit…

This could have taken several directions. I was diverted and conflicted in thought. That made this a personal challenge. Therefore, the end result toke on a life of it’s own and it seemed to “be fitting”.

Shopping used to be fun for me, especially when I was looking to buy something for “me”. I did not need an excuse to shop, all I needed was time. I also did not need to buy anything, but that was often a perk. I enjoyed the entire process; with the exception of the crowd, but even the crowd was manageable once I had what I wanted/needed to purchase out of the way. However, in recent times this guilty pleasure has escaped me. I have to admit that I still quite enjoy making purchases for people I love and care about. My precious granddaughter has afforded me an opportunity to visit the baby and girl’s sections that has eluded me for many years now, on a regular basis. Yet, it still isn’t the same.

I could blame it all on the current economy, but that does not prevent me from indulging my pass-time in the state of”window shopping”. Time or a lack of it could claim some responsibility, but if I wanted I could make time. The desire has escaped me and with good reason; I have made the process a task, and frankly I have enough tasks already. In an effort to be efficient and smart I  have employed steps to making purchases. The steps are: desire/need, target area for search, visit said area for possible purchase, make purchase. I thought it was the smart thing to do. The random and impulse shopping is virtually eliminated. I also eliminated the fun and joy. Thus, my last adventure.

It was time, because I hadn’t purchased one in about a year. A lot of things can happen to your body in a years time. When you pass the half-century mark, unless you are disciplined a lot of things do. I am not disciplined. I made the dreaded decision to go an buy a new one or at least browse for one. I was not looking forward to it either. I thought about how in my earlier years my best buddies and I would turn the need of something like this into an all day outing… Yeah right, I wanted to accomplish the task and be back home inside of an hour. This was an equally ridiculous thought. By-the-way the item I was searching for, if you haven’t guessed was in the intimate apparel department. Yes, an exciting bra.

See what I told you about making this into a task?  I recall being told that a certain mega-star talk show hostess supreme(who I did not watch, but that’s another story) had a show discussing and demonstration how’s and why’s of bra’s fittings, purchases, and number needs. I also recall thinking,”huuum she has run out of show ideas”.

I walked into what I hoped and honestly needed to be my first, last, and only department store. Although, I did not believe that was going to be the case. I walked through departments barely giving a glance to items set in plain sight to get you to stop. I was on a mission, the intimate apparel area was targeted and I honed in on it.

Beautiful colors and styles were everywhere, I paid no attention. I wanted to go directly to my size, pick one, and move on to the check-out stand.  Then I could relax and head home.  I am going to give a conservative estimate and say there were about,what my mind told me, fifty-five trillion bras and furthermore none of them appealed to me. I made that determination inside of five minutes. As you can tell all of my good planning had gone to waste, I did not want to be here and I was not going to find anything. The smartest thing I could /should do is walk right out and come back when I was actually ready to make a good effort. I did not. Instead I laboriously rummaged through a couple of racks, beginning in the clearance sale area. Did I mention I am very frugal when it comes to most things for me? I want the best there is to offer at 1980 prices, and I think this is perfectly normal and understandable.  A full three and a half minutes into this I knew I wasn’t going to find anything. I dubbed this an impossible task…. and then there it was a voice…. as though divine intervention had come to save me from this “fate-worse-than-death” search for a bra. “Searching for the right bra for you? 9 out of 10 women are currently wearing the wrong sized bra. Come in on Tuesday August 16th and let our experts measure you and find the right one JUST FOR YOU. Sign up in customer service today for your scheduled appointment and get the customized fit you want and need.” I was the first one there.

To say I had an unrealistic expectation, is an understatement of monstrous proportions. Yet, I felt this was my answer. I had toyed with the idea of going to an intimate apparel salon and have them do this magical fitting and pull a perfect bra for me right out of some mysterious drawer that had been hiding from me. I had even accepted that this was not going to be an inexpensive venture. I was prepared, I was ready, I just somehow never quite got around to completing the task. Well for this chain of events to unfold like it did with the expert basically coming right to me… I knew it was going to be my answer.

I met with the fitting expert and the short version, it was like having a stranger with you on a shopping venture, minus the fitting/measuring. I came to this realization after the fifth bra selection. There was a lot of build up, for an ultimate let down.

This experience can be likened to relationships and friendships; there are no short cuts, no magical solutions, no easy way outs. You must invest time and effort into anything worth doing and there still may not be the desired result. Plus the desired result may be the root of the problem. When it is all said and done at the end of the day, you have the satisfaction of knowing you did you best and made a conscious effort. Also, try to avoid anything that has the adjective “perfect” attached to them we tend to take that word LITERALLY.

Posted in How We Relate | Leave a comment
19 Aug 2011
1 Comment

IX-Hafathetime

With 60 plus posts behind me, I am at a place where I must make a few decisions. Do I continue this blog or do I dedicate some serious time to writing my book? Time is so very important to us all, for we never know how much we have.

Sunday we were examining eternity and the present in church. Eternity being something that is truly beyond our idea of understanding. How can one, by our standards, really comprehend what one has never experienced? It seems clear we will all reach this place eventually, though what we will actually find is “still up in the air.”

The present, a place all too real for most of us. This is a place that I look upon as a construction site. It is ever changing and needs more work to get to the finished product. Problem here is the finished product keeps changing. The blueprints are marred with erasure marks and it is getting harder and harder to see what we are ultimately trying to complete. This is the place where we can actively affect what our eternity will be and it is filled with near misses, mistakes, confusion, and controversy. More reality; if we don’t get it right here in the present, our future and eternity may not yield the desired results.

Later in the day I joined a group that pleasantly took me back in time. I spent several hours on one nostalgic journey after another.  Just that quick I realized I was focusing on something I could not have. I was escaping to the past. There is nothing wrong with visiting places we do not have real access to, as long as it does not become too time consuming. The retreat can all too quickly become a deep longing, an obsession.

When I find myself going astray in these matters I try to find something that gets me back to task, I do something for someone else. At numerous times I find I feel as though I will never be able to live up to what I think is expected of me, but there is no feeling that matches  the one you get when you do something that makes another person feel better.  You are given back a sense, that it is not all about you.  You get a piece of peace and a sliver of time to reflect on that which is not promised to us, now what are you going to do with this time.

Posted in Hafwaythroughpoints and tagged , ,
02 Aug 2011

Why Is This News….

Jesse James is planning his wedding to his tatoo artist Kat Von D? When this was plastered across my laptop screen and I thought,” Who gives a (we’ll just say) hoot?”What was Richard Willams showing his daughter Serena? Are Wills and Kate taking the USA by storm. What is Bristol Palin’s opinion about pre-marital sex?

My question is what has happened to the news? Now we could go back and forth about the line between news and gossip. Newspapers and reporters used to take pride in what they did and the service they provided. Now all they care about is getting information out there, even if it is bad information. They all know that in our rushed society all that we care about is speed and simplicity. Therefore it is easy to let things go, no one has time to truly investigate. If one bothers to take time to verify information they may miss the chance to “break the story”, so it is left to chance that the information is correct on some level or the other. What is important is you heard it first and where you heard it from.

I am amazed at how the media is so willing to take chances with misinformation now. They will write-it, publish it, say it and hide behind the so-called right to keep the source private. When in actuality on a number of occasions these are just out and out LIES!
Our newspapers and magazines are gossip columns and the gossip columns credible newspapers and magazines. The  parts/roles have become interchangeable and we let it happen.

There was a time when the news took up a particular part of the day. Honestly, a couple of hours of everyone else’s reality was more than enough for me. Now our news agencies are battling for ratings along with our entertainment. Perhaps, that is how and why we have gotten where we are. Someones pain and misery, someone’s dysfunctional family gives us reason to tune in. Yet, we act surprised when  the airways and newspapers are filled with questionable data.

We demand and require little therefore the result is exactly what we should expect, given the requirements. Personally I do not want valuable information mixed in, mixed up with my mindless indulgences. Yes I am as guilty as the next of watching/reading things that are clearly of no value other than shock or disgust. We have to realize at some point though, if there is no market for this material it will soon wither and die. We have to make a choice and perhaps a sacrifice or two, but in the long run we will benefit from a decision to demand more from the agencies that represent themselves as News Services.

Posted in As Consumers and tagged | Leave a comment
28 Jul 2011
2 Comments

Love It Or Leave It

Let me go on record here, “I HATE POLITICS!” Perhaps it is because I do not understand them,the process has evolved so during my lifetime that I am basically playing “pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey” when it comes time to vote. I know who I like or who seems to be a decent enough individual, I know who appears to be intelligent, but I have no way of determining how much of a change will take place with these individuals once they get into office. Politics reminds me of the horror movies I enjoyed in my youth, there was invariably some ugly surprise and it would keep you on the edge of your seat until the movie ended.

I do love America. She is the only homeland I know. I have no real desire to venture outside her boarders. When one looks at things that go on around the world, I say “I’m good”. We have every desired climate, scenery, and terrain one could want. While other countries and continents have history and landmarks of the ancients, I am happy with video images of them. They are after all of those other places and I feel no connection, beyond this is interesting or that is beautiful. NEXT.  Additionally,  that does not say this is enough for everyone, but then you have the ability to go if you want. I am simply happy here in my small, little space.

However, because I am basically happy I do not want you to interrupt, interfere, invade my small space or way of life.   I feel that way about outsiders and insiders( i.e.politicians). I am not against government for, they like policing agencies, are necessary. My faith makes me want to hope for good individuals who will do the right thing, it also makes me aware that MAN is flawed and needs guidance. Therefore,  the checks and balances systems must be put into place and remain there.

Naturally, there is an expectation that everyone in our country has the basic best interest of the nation at heart. The more visible individuals the President, the Congress, the House of Representatives have a particular spotlight shone on them. They are the embodiment of the general population, US. I cannot remember the last time I really trusted those people though. I clearly remember my feeling of hope when this President was elected. I knew it would not be an easy road for him, this was no “turkey shoot”. Overall I believe he is a good decent man, unfortunately there is virtually no place in the political arena for that type of being. The more I am exposed and involved with politics the less I want to be. It has the feel of a dirty family secret.

If lawyers have a bad name, then politicians should face the guiotine upon the completion of their terms of service.  For the only service they appear to be providing these days is to SELF. They ALL need to understand and be held accountable for not doing what we put them in place to do and that is to serve THE PEOPLE of the United States.

Our country is a good country. It has ideals that are truly admirable. Although, now we now face a  system that is aging and that appears to be the only real change taking place. We have classically been trendsetters, rapid movers, a country that is truly ahead of it’s time. To be so young and successful, now we are dealing with our growing pains . What are we going to do? The critics of our government say it is too big, well going about the task of shrinking it with the “folks” who are calling for a smaller one may result in us getting just that. It may come on the form of a dictator.

Personally, I will take America as she is right now.  There of course are problems; we have to work through our problems, and that is simply what we need to do. We must be able to count on the officials we put into power to exercise and execute it in accordance with what we the PEOPLE elected them to do. To all the unhappy individuals(Tea Partiers here’s your personal invite) ” take off on the next thing smokin”.  Me, I am here to stay.

Posted in Order of Appearance
28 Jul 2011

On And On

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who tries to out talk you? You know the type; constant interruptions or the loud overbearing volume and tone of their voice. It can be to  say the least annoying. Now let’s approach this from another angle. Have you ever found yourself going on about a subject that the other person you are speaking with “says” they understand?

I am reminded of the illustrious James Brown and a song he did called “Talkin Loud and Sayin Nothing”. The example I gave before truly fit the bill in one way or another. People will often ask for something that they truly do not want; OPINION. All people like this want is to have a captive audience, which will give the appearance of conversation.

I have been told on more occasion than one, that I have a tendency to be redundant, by someone close to me. Well I tell you was insulted, I was angry, and I felt rebellion and contempt toward this special person for saying that to me. However, as I thought back, I realized that there could be a bit of validity to what was said. Although, I still did not appreciate what was being said.  I felt that if I was actually being heard, there would not be a need for me to repeat myself or  go “on and on”.  This flawed method was unintentional on my part. Yet to the avail of my counterpart mission accomplished; I was silenced of sorts, if not that at least stifled.

Now I was reluctant to voice my opinion and often said nothing at all. This gave “free-run” to my accuser. Sheer stubbornness would not allow me to say a word when inside I was screaming with opinion. Now all I have to offer on most occasions is, “I don’t know, what do you think?” Does this fix things, not really. However, I do not have to engage with someone who only wants to hear their own voice.

Conversation is a very delicate and complicated thing. Many people think of it as simply vocalizing and this is clearly visible in their conversations. There are steps that must be taken to have a successful meaningful conversation, the first being the willingness to listen. You will not often run into someone that lacks understanding, what you find more often than not is the unwillingness to allow another point of view to be expressed.

A big void exists in relationships when interested parties cannot communicate. It doesn’t matter in the long run if it is inability or simply bullheadedness,  the end result will be the same. In your communication ventures should you run across the “on and on” dilemma, take a moment and dissect the situation.  Find out who you are, the one who goes “on and on” or are you the one who is pointing the finger.

I cannot give you an answer, for my stubborn solution is not a successful one.  I do know there has to be a better way; to the perpetrator really try to listen, and to the finger-pointer maybe try visuals, flash cards, sign language. Perhaps somewhere in-between the participating parties will discover what they are really saying to one another, or at least make an honest effort in that direction.

Posted in Order of Appearance | Leave a comment
26 Jul 2011
1 Comment

Because It Makes Me Happy Too

By now we have had a few of the spoils of this life. We have bought the car we wanted , we purchased the house of our dreams, we have given our children a number of their heart’s desires. These things made us happy, they gave us a degree of joy and made us feel accomplished and fulfilled.

Times have changed so much though. I recall the classic occasions for giving, birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas. The running around, going from store to store, searching for just the right gift. Then it had to be wrapped and you had to have a card to express just how you felt about this person on this/their special day. Enter gift cards and gift bags, there are even specialized cards that boast they express “just how you feel”. AMAZING! The transformation that has taken place during our lives.

I did something nice for someone a couple of weeks ago, I did it because I wanted to.  My kind gesture, my attempt to demonstrate I did not like something I perceived as incorrect was rejected, because the person did not see things the way I did.  To be honest, I was taken aback. I tried to explain myself, but I do not really believe that I did a sufficient job. Although the gift was accepted, the fact that there was an air of confusion and unrest took away from what was actually being said with this gesture. I have been told by more than one individual “you think about things no one else does”. I had a mixed reaction to that statement; for I understood what was being said to me, but I wondered/questioned if what I was saying/doing was truly being understood.

Giving whether it is a gift, your time, your effort should be an unselfish act. There should be no expectation of reward from the receiver, but does that include gratitude and/or acceptance?  Think about why you are giving and not just who you are giving to. The act may seem simple and one-sided, but it is not.  Those gift cards and gift bags made things simpler, but did they really make things better. The easy way out isn’t always the way to go.

As we journey into this next phase we have to keep our “feelers” out there open to be receptive of things we may have bypassed even a decade ago. While we may be encompassed with what we have acquired and where we are in life, we have to stop and realize there is something more for us and we better try to pursue the intangibles.

Remember your baby’s reaction when you came home after a hard day at work, your child’s face on Christmas morning even before the first package was opened, the way you felt when your son/daughter walked across the stage to receive their high school diploma, the return of a son from the military, a daughter walking down the aisle to meet her groom. Your heart does something, that during the course of a normal day, it will not.

However, believe me when I tell you that the same special warm feeling will present itself to you if you do give of yourself for no particular reason. The act itself is paled in comparison to what you will get back.  Finally, do not let a poor reception deter you from giving again, for ultimately your intentions are clear to the one who counts. “God loves a cheerful giver”.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged
21 Jul 2011
1 Comment

A Test Free Testimony

“A Test Free Testimony”, sounds interesting doesn’t it? The truth is there is no such thing.  Read James 1:2-4. One has to look at the nature of man to understand this fully. Man is arrogant and the only way to deal with arrogance is to take it down. I think we all can use being taken down a notch or two, because our memories are short. We need to know who is conducting the tests.

In the midst of doing the right thing, the test reared its head. The test seemingly knows your weakness and without further ado goes straight for the “Jugular”.  There is no hesitation except perhaps on your part. I cannot tell you that I have overcome my fear of the test, but my faith has given me additional strength. Strength that I did not know I had.

What do you do when the tests come calling? We must face these  challenges in order  to grow and I guess during these points the phrase “growing pains” takes on a very real meaning to us.

I have to get just a little personal here and tell you about one of my tests and the lesson I learned. I have a very good friend I worked with several years ago. I thought of myself as a good friend and I thought I cared about her. She told me of a family member that had gotten into trouble and while I gave off the impression I was listening intently, my mind was often millions of miles away, especially when it came to some adult getting into real trouble.  I had opinion and judgement for all to hear(although I kept it to myself). My attitude was like the penguins in Madgascar “just smile and wave boys, smile and wave”. The time came and she excitedly told me her loved one was coming to live with her after his stint with the justice system. I told her that was great and how lucky and blessed he was to have a person so wonderful in his life as she. Sounds good, but it possessed all the undertones of a judgmental jerk, ME. As I said those kind words I thought,” I don’t know why she is excited. What a burden and umph, umph, umph glad it’s not me”.

Little did I know that some time in the near future(approximately 3 years)  I would share those very feelings in regards to someone in my life. I would remember my friend and her excitement and joy. I would also remember my attitude. As noted in another piece I wrote, Crosses To Bare; One thing we can rely on is we do not get to determine what type of punishment or reward we receive. We have no say in when or where these rewards or punishments will take place.  I took note of those things in retrospect I believe this was my test on forgiveness. It was not an easy lesson, but it was effective.

I became involved in a ministry that helps people getting out of that bad experience to move forward. From finding a place to stay to just being a good listening ear, we try to help in any way we can. I am proud to say I am no longer that being who shook their head and pointed their finger in judgment. Now I am the one who looks at individuals and says, “They are just people and we all need a little something at some point in our lives”.

Would I be in this place had I not been tested? I do not think so, for I would have consciously avoided people and situations that I felt I had nothing in common with. Sadly, I would have missed an opportunity to perhaps make a difference in someones life and  in turn make a difference in my own. Here’s  hoping there will be someone for you when you are in need, and in turn you will be there to help meet someones needs.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged
11 Jul 2011
1 Comment

Because It Is The Right Thing To Do

I just wanted to take time out to write you all in regards to the Free Day Of Dental Care. I have passed by your offices for several years now, for I have lived/worked in the Alpharetta Area for more than a decade. I have to tell you the first time I saw all the people lined up, I was surprised and a bit curious. I had heard about other health care providers and dental care providers doing similar things across the Metro Atlanta Area.  When I saw the signage and the lines the following year I was amazed that it was happening again, and remarked to my husband how nice and surprising to see this in Alpharetta no less. I said these must be some really decent caring people and/or they are getting some type of subsidy from the state or federal government, maybe a tax write off. This year I happily conceded and gave in, that no matter what the reason was, the act and you all deserve acknowledgement and praise.  I am a business owner and Free-Lance writer, now I have a “feel good” piece of material to write about. Thank you for taking the human factor into consideration. Blessing to you all. Sincerely, Eileen Russell

The preceding is a note that I was happily compelled to write to Jones Bridge Dental Care and its staff in Alpharetta, Georgia .

We have to go back a bit to give you some data that will help this make sense. First let’s talk about Alpharetta.  Alpharetta, Georgia is a medium to large sized suburb of Metro Atlanta approximately 58,000 residents. The population is characterized  by being financially stable, predominately white, well educated. Low crime rates, great shopping, nice restaurants.  A Shangri-La of sorts and if we are being honest, this is not a place where you would expect to find someone or some organization looking out for people in need. I do not want to take an undue poke at the city itself;  for in our society in general, when individuals arrive at certain places they tend to become insulated and insensitive. We are self-centered and self-absorbed. Thus, it is a pleasure to say something nice about a group of unlikely and extraordinary people.

Think about the last bad experience you had that involved customer service. Did you sit quietly by and let it go? Did you voice your complaint or write a letter? Better yet, do you remember the last time you had a good experience and bothered letting the person know it was positive and appreciated. A little encouragement goes a long way.

Dr. Leo Yelizarov resume boasts many achievements and awards, but that clearly isn’t all that there is to him. He is affectionately referred to as Dr. Leo by his patients, giving him the small town family doctor feel and appeal. This is not an advertisement for the good doctor and his practice, but it is an acknowledgement that individuals can and do make a difference.  People like Dr. Leo challenge us all to do  what we can, no matter what the scale, to help our fellow man.

So take off that protective covering, roll up your sleeves, and go do something nice for someone in need for no particular reason. Don’t do it for the recognition, but know in your heart it will NOT go unnoticed.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged
07 Jul 2011

Crosses To Bare

I am certain that I am not the only one who has heard this metaphor time and time again. Yet, when do you really think about what is being said. Are you like most of us, and see things that others do but not ones own faults, or do you look at your particular situation and think” well now that does make sense”. Like it or not things happen and depending on your vantage point one may or may not be deserving of the end result. The power of “karma“.

One thing we can rely on is we do not get to determine what type of punishment or reward we receive. We have no say in when or where these rewards or punishments will take place. It is arrogant and presumptuous to think we would, but after all is that not our nature? As we “bellyache” how unfair life is, do we have time to step back and revisit a place where we may have been a little less than fair to another person.

This piece is my mental note to remind me that my foot does NOT belong in my mouth. I love words. I play word games on a regular bases. I think I have a bit of a command of them. Yet, more often than I like to admit, they come out of my mouth like some sour regurgitated substance. While I feel bad about this occurrence, I do not often apologize for or even attempt to right this wrong, as I should. I believe it, yet it continues to happen so often, and because of this I decided  to broach the subject. This is me baring mine. My confession.

One may say these are only words, but words are very powerful. They start and end wars. They are generally at the root of most every type of conflict. We recognize their power in the negative sense, but fail to take advantage of their healing power. Therefore, my challenge is to take care of some inadvertent messes I have made. I will remind myself of how quick I am to complain, but it seems to take a little longer to write that complementary note. My appeal for forgiveness and recognition of that need to be forgiving as well.

Whatever you battle with take care of it one step at a time, but do take a first step. I can guarantee you will make no progress in your effort if you don’t, but the possibilities are endless if you do.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged , | Leave a comment
07 Jul 2011
1 Comment

What Happened To Our Common Ground

Today I married my best friend. How wonderful is this feeling, knowing that I’ve got this special person’s back and I am equally protected.  Come on back to Earth with me now folks, that was just an example of expressed, undying love. I mean it says best friend and ideally it would be great, but is it real? Are you and your spouse/mate truly friends or do you say it is so because it sounds good. If you were friends at one time what changed things? When did you first realize you were asking the question, “What happened to our common ground?”

When a marriage breaks up after twenty plus years, it is tragic to say the least. I ask, what took so long and why did they stay if this was so bad for so long. I must interject that a marriage break up is tragic no matter what amount of time has passed. Yes, I am makings some serious generalizations here, but maybe you know someone who is facing this  right now. Maybe that someone is you.

It takes a lifetime to get to know someone, but there are things that are visible about them the instant you meet them. One has to have strength, open mind, and be willing to act. These are not uncommon attributes, but for fear of being alone we let things go. Then you wake up and realize that you really did not let those things go at all, you simply buried them in a shallow unmarked grave. A grave that is on unstable ground and not dug very deep, and the results surprise you?

We like  knowing what will come next. In our youth surprises are welcomed and exciting. As we age they are viewed in a less favorable fashion and avoided. The illustrious “governator” gave his wife and family a surprise a few weeks ago. To say the least it was poorly planned and not well received.

The ability to see that “common ground” becomes harder and harder as our vision starts to deteriorate. How can we get there if one of our main vehicles breaks down? Now you cannot see this imaginary place, and you certainly cannot get there without knowing the direction you should be traveling in. Who knows it may not even be there any longer. What if it is simply unrecognizable, because you have not bothered to care for it.

“Common ground” should be treated as a garden. You have to tend to the garden, it requires care and attention. You have to visit, water, fertilize, and weed that garden if you want the good things in it to grow.

Posted in Order of Appearance

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