hafacenturyncounting

Motivated by a lack of material.

16 Nov 2011
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Extraodinarily Ordinary

Average, an existence in the middle of the road. The place most of us do not want to be.  We are all taught to strive for more. We see it happening more and more; competition once thought of as healthy, is now a way of life. Children, toddlers, babies are placed on waiting lists to be selected to go to preschools! Well, what do you do when average is all there is to you?

Something inside of us strives to be special. We need to be  outstanding in our own right, and it generally isn’t enough that we are all individuals. Therefore the search begins, what do I have that sets me apart? Is it a chick thing? I am sure we women feel it very strongly. We react to it in our style of dress, hairstyles, etc. a number of outward appearance things. Yet, I know men feel it too. Theirs, I believe, is a more inward struggle.

God created such amazing individuals; there are great talents, astounding beauty, and insurmountable intelligence. What can be said to the “Regular Joes” of the world. The difficulty comes into play as you come to terms with this average status; for just because you are of this status doesn’t mean you do not want to do something extraordinary, it doesn’t take away from the fact that you truly want to be special. You wander aimlessly trying to escape your terribly normal existence. You grab at any inkling of something that suggests you are above the rest. We are taught to think outside of the box, but oddly enough we forget that most things are geared toward those who fit neatly within that same box.

Tread carefully friends in your quest to stand out; you are at risk of doing something that may make you stand out, but not necessarily in a positive fashion or in a way you want recognition.

I will close with my version of a Grimm’s Fairy Tale, a metaphor relating to this piece. Once upon a time there lived a plain little flower, her home in a modest meadow. In the meadow there were lots of other flowers. There were beautiful roses, there were fragrant gardenias, there were fabulous lilies, even the perky daisies drew attention. The plain little flower would go virtually unnoticed among these other  spectacular plants. Sometimes in the shadowy part of the day she would feel sad and let her foliage droop. “No one cares about me with all of these other bright, exciting, pretty flowers around. It doesn’t matter what I do.” One day a truly handsome prince came upon the meadow. He was something to behold. His smile was bright like a daffodil. He was as beautiful as any rose. His eyes were bright and perky like the daisy. All of the flowers stood up really tall, so he would notice them and he did. He took in all of the sights of all of the beauty that was surrounding him, but what captured his attention was the plain little flower….

What do you suppose happens next? What if your answer defines you?

Posted in Epiphany and tagged , ,
09 Nov 2011

Dry Spell

I have ideas hanging around out there, but cannot seem to put them down. My level of concentration is zilch.

What does a”would-be-writer” say when they are unable to write. “Dry Spell” says it all for me.  I feel like I am in the desert, alone, no shade in sight. When you write there is a conversation that is ongoing with self, and when that conversation is absent you feel very isolated.

My words are my escape. I am hurled into parts unknown, yet the journey is welcomed. I am at the helm, so to speak. Imagine being in a storm at sea, while it is terrifying being tossed about and you feel so tiny and insignificant, would you feel any less terrified in the middle of a calm ocean? The vastness alone is overwhelming.

While this period, this time was short-lived, it seemed like a lifetime. There is only so much you can say, about not having anything to say.

Perhaps you have experience a “Dry Spell” of your own. It doesn’t simply apply to writing, that was for me because I write. Figuratively speaking, it is simply an unproductive period. What do you do when you feel that way about work, school, relationships? Mine was a relatively simple fix; I let it run it’s course and it remedied itself. That however, may not be the best solution for other circumstances or situations. Think of a runaway rail car, eventually it will stop. Question being when and how.

Not having the cure-all for this period, I say it is better to take some action rather than no action. Don’t walk away without making an effort to move things along. All that may be required is a small push, while in other instances it may be a mountain that has to be moved. Whatever the case may be; since it is you and it is affecting you, get behind that helm and steer.

Posted in Order of Appearance | Leave a comment
08 Nov 2011
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A Chronic Case Of Temptation

Feeling neglected, unappreciated, and ugly; what happens if in walks your Achilles Heel.  It won’t take much.  You are vulnerable, but moreover this is wanted. There are no guarantees that even in the most ideal circumstances that this very same culprit will not invade your space. The question is what will you do when faced with this challenge.

Let’s fast forward to the consequences. Why do there have to be consequence? For one thing the hint was Achilles Heel, weakness. To approach something that leaves us open to danger gives us the sense of foreboding and taboo. We humans love ” to get close to the flame”. The adrenaline rush, the excitement gets us going, and before we know it we cannot turn back. To be honest we may not even want to turn back. Would you worry about the consequences if there were truly no way for anyone that you didn’t want to know, would or could know? This calls for honesty too.

However, it is not all about consequence. There is the amazing indescribable feeling. It is both visceral and physical. What do you have to counteract such an attack?

First you need to think, and I mean really think long and hard about what you are about to do. Don’t brush past anything, for that will leave room for excuses and others to blame. Remember, ultimately you are in charge here. Be prepared for what happens, that means taking the bad with the good. I put it that way because the good (pleasurable) will overshadow the bad and the possibilities thereof. If you think of the good part first it will allow you to put that bad on the back burner, it needs to be on the front burner. Still feeling cavalier after taking all this in, consider your very own conscious. Can you live with yourself, because you cannot run away from that being.Finally, the ideas and realities of karma and God(not necessarily in that order).

I  say do the right thing. I am not  going to tell you this is easy, it is not. I believe that when we try to be a good righteous person and challenges appear in our lives, the fact that we consider the wrong things or even do the wrong thing and feel guilty afterward does not mean we are lost souls or hypocrites; to me it means that we are on the right track, we just have a hard road to tow. It is manageable, it is just a matter of choice. Good Luck

Posted in Order of Appearance
27 Oct 2011
1 Comment

Private Wars In Public Places

Have you ever walked in on an argument, be it a couple or co-worker, family, friend, acquaintance, or stranger? What’s your first thought…. AWKWARD, huh …..

I am not a finger-pointer, I consider myself a being who observes and reports. I am opinionated, thus the blog clearly states what it is and I can be about. If you come in here this is what you will get; do not be surprised, do not be offended, do not be afraid to comment, and if you don’t like the way it feels/sounds/reads do not feel as though you have to come back.

Ah, the internet a tool that has made it possible for us to travel the world and never get out of our underwear or brush our teeth. Bad news for the fashion industry and the field of Dentistry. The internet has given us another way to peek into people’s personal lives and relationships too. Social networks do a variety of things; they help us date, find long lost friends, loved ones , etc. However, you have to beware.

There is a danger in living your life out on the web. It is just like opening up your mouth too soon and once it is out there well then it is too late. I have seen  sexual innuendos, personal loss, and fights. The fights are the ones I am addressing here. While with the other two it is debatable as to whether they belong in a private setting, the fight definitely should  be taken care of in a “one-on-one”. It is childish, cowardly, petty, embarrassing and it serves no purpose other than to fuel more fighting and misunderstanding. Unless the intention is to produce more ill feelings, this is NOT the way to go.

If you have personal battle handle it in a personal fashion. Be direct and upfront; conduct the discussion between the parties that it concerns, for they truly are the only ones who matter. If you put your life on the web like this for support, so others will tell you that you are right and the other person is wrong; consider this these outside people are ONLY getting your side of the story and at best most of us give a diluted version of what really happened, what is really going on, and other insignificant little things like FACTS.

Putting personal disagreements on the web turns your life into a “soap-opera”, and while the “soaps” are entertaining people soon grow tired of them and change the channel.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , , ,
27 Oct 2011
1 Comment

And Yes Christians Do Get Mad At God

We are only human. We need someone to blame and who better to bare the burdens of our lives than God. However, when things go wrong this is a place where we cry out to God. We scream to the tops of our lungs  for His help, and then when things do not go our way we blame Him.

Where does this all come from?In our faith journeys lots of us misunderstand our positions as well as our relationship with God. Saying you are a Christian and actually doing something active that demonstrates it are two very distant and different things.

Think of  the happy, good times; there is joy in your life and all is well, you couldn’t ask for more. Yet during those times do you stop and thank God, do you look to do something unselfish for someone else? If you do is it in a passing thought, and with the feeling you will get around to that later.

Let’s switch reels here and go to the down, sad times. When you are in the place of need, when you cannot see any way out. Do you look for God? Of course you do.  If He does not answer right away or in the way YOU think He should, how do you feel? Probably disappointed, maybe abandoned, perhaps betrayed, and what about anger.

Whew, who are we to be angry with God? We don’t have the right, but I am guessing this very thing  may have happened to most of us at one time or another. I think a good place to find and examine this phenomenon is in our state of loss. It is a very sensitive and vulnerable place, but I have to ask you to go there. Think about the person and the time, recall all the emotion if you can. Did you realize that God was right there with you? Through the turmoil and anguish  did you realize that if it were not for the Lord you could not survive.

The good news is God is full of grace and forgiveness. He understands us and our flaws. He knows that during bad times our weakness will overtake what we know is right, but that is why He tells us that He is always there for us. Best of all He actually is. God’s comfort and presence are beyond compare. In those difficult times when you are looking for someone to blame for all of your pain; look to God, engage in serious prayer, you will find the understanding and peace you need instead.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged
21 Oct 2011
1 Comment

Back To Where We Started

“The more things change the more they stay the same.” I was once told this in passing by a friend. At the time it was directed at me, now the tables are turned and I will redirect that same statement at this same friend and a couple of others. I wonder how astute they are, I wonder if any of them will know or even suspect that I am sending  this out to them. This is not mean, it is not a “dig” at any of them. Simply stated, it is just an observation.

Have you noticed how you tend to think of people in the time and state in which you last saw them? You see a child of a friend and first thing that comes out of your mouth is, “Wow, you sure have grown”. Why do we think everything revolves around us? That question asked and once answered that may explain how we can allow our minds to get to such a place.

Reuniting with people allows us an unique opportunity to visit a place that no longer exists. It seems the older we get the more we want to be in that place. It is safe and always open for alterations, even if these same alterations are not true to form. I can, at last, now say that my visits to this Xanadu has become less intriguing. The inhabitants have changed so much due to the inevitable, I sigh with relief that I  can always make a non-committal stop-over and not be bound to that place with them.

To the afore mentioned individuals I laughingly acknowledge and point out the avoidance. It was unnecessary; for we as adults are afforded what escaped us as youths, the ability to say we have had enough or even no just because we want to without further explanation. We must welcome and encourage change, because change is progress. I do not desire to be in numerous places of my past, but there are some parts of it and some individuals that I would like to remain CURRENT with. By saying I would like to remain current simply means, there is a point of interaction where we can be in the now and it is safe.

Posted in Order of Appearance
21 Oct 2011

If You’re Going Stare, Wave.

Didn’t your parents tell you it was impolite to stare? When my contemporaries and I were small children, not listening to or disobeying what Mom and Dad said to do met with serious consequences. We learned at an early age that looking at someone for an extended period of time generally was not complementary, with that being said one puts oneself in a very precarious position and no small child should have such an option.

On that note I am going to make sure it is understood that staring is something that I RARELY do. While my preference would be to say never, I refrain from using such an adverb. Human Beings do not exist in a state of absoluteness when we talk about emotions, personality traits, and such. Therefore, I am sticking with “rarely”. It is just plain rude.

Now I am sure we all can reference doing this very same thing and it was far from insulting. There are some very beautiful beings and they are very worthy of taking notice of. One can be easily caught off guard and in those cases excused for the act.

Upon our move south some 18 years ago we met a very  southern woman and her equally southern husband. We will call her CeeCee and her husband Carl.  To characterize CeeCee, she was a curly-red haired imp. I imagine there was a bit of Scots-Irish in her. She and I hung out together for a bit.  Our families even traveled to the North Georgia mountains, that was a trip and a half. We were introduced to, in my opinion, horrible boiled peanuts and dining with strangers. CeeCee and Carl loved these traditions. My spouse, forever the “yankee/militant former black panther” type, was not so enthused. He had noted on numerous occasions since our arrival of the locals extended gawks. CeeCee said,” We do stare a lot in the south”. Let me get back to what this was really about though. Staring was just a jumping off point for me. Is there ever really an excuse for being rude?

You see given enough time one can find an explanation for virtually anything; but just because you can explain it, doesn’t excuse it. You may say, “I didn’t mean anything by it or I always do that”. You must understand that perceptions play a key role in how particular acts are dealt with, so you don’t get to tell someone else how they should feel about a given situation.

Culture, age, region, and religious influences will affect the way we respond to one another. If only “When in Rome do as the Romans do” were a practicable rule of thumb; unexpected release of gas,  loud outburst of laughter, and yes  lengthy uninterrupted looks would be accepted and disregarded. Since that is NOT the case the next time you find yourself involved in such a situation, if you are the one  staring do a save and throw up a greeting with a wave. If you don’t there is a possibility the one who is being stared at may in a not-so-subtle way throw up a greeting to you, but keep a few of their fingers in the down position.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , , , , | Leave a comment
21 Oct 2011
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When To Say When

Joe Louis comes to my mind, not because I remember his career or admire the sport of boxing. I think of him because my parents talked about the way he went out.

The Limelight has to be a fabulous, enchanted place. Countless celebrities and athletes cannot seem to  be out of it without a real fear of “turning to dust”. Nothing seems clear to them as the “light” begins to fade, not records, not history, not fame, fortune, or family can rate with that light.

I am a football fan and I fondly recall how Steve Young, Phil Sims, and a couple others of the era begged “to go back in” even after multiple concussions. CONCUSSIONS!!!!!!! Love of the game, lack of regard for life or just plain insanity. More recently we have seen this with Donovan McNabb and Brett Favre, the same type of desire to “go back in one more time”.

Dare I broach a favorite of so many as Michael Jackson? I dare, for Michael’s incessant need to be in the limelight, to be adored by thralls of people made him make and be subject to countless looks altering surgeries, odd lifestyles, relationship catastrophes, and medicinal addictions which ultimately would bring a too early end to his very life. A life  already filled with loving and adoring fans, successes of his industry that have and could continue to go on for years, still it was not enough.

I can liken this desire to that of a drug or alcohol abuser or to one that over-eats, the benefits of proper use quickly can turn disastrous when control is lost and one runs rampant. Obsession and /or addiction become your reality. You cannot take control when you have none to possess.

When one allows others and outside forces to be the sole  and/or significant guide to determine their success and self-worth, the danger of failure becomes inevitable and one puts oneself at the mercy of a source that is  flighty and uncertain.

I watched some of these same athletes raise their fists to the Lord, I have heard the interviews where the glory-seekers give God all of the glory, but yet their master is NOT our Heavenly Father. God gives you peace in times of turmoil, he provides you with warmth and safety if you let him in, and He will never leave you in good times or bad.

When I see these people running toward the limelight, I know they are not in touch with the Lord. If they were the light they would be running toward would be His; their life would be fulfilled beyond the full stadiums and auditoriums, adoring fans, crowds screams. The fulfillment would come from the inside to the out not the reverse. They don’t know when to stop, because they really do not know what they are chasing. How can they ever know when they have had enough?

While this piece began with the focus being on celebrity and fame, it does touch those of us who are just “Everyday-Joes”. If one does not know when to say when; if one does not know when it is time to stop or even go in a different direction, it is simply because they are searching for the answer in the wrong place.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged
15 Oct 2011
1 Comment

Deal With It

I read an inspiring piece this morning, it was in regards to relationships with loved ones. It was not unusual; for it dealt with how limited and uncertain our time on this Earth is, and how we ought to let loved ones know they are loved every day. For as certain as it is that we have loved ones, there is or will be turmoil.

My personal friends and family know that I am an active participant in conflict on a daily basis. I welcome debate and exchanges. They also know I am a “head-on” type and this clashes with my attempts to be a more “gentle-christian” type of individual. I cannot say I have mastered the art of being direct with compassion, and if I am honest I have to say there are often minimal efforts made depending on the circumstances and individual (s) involved. Big surprise, partial confession; no on part one and affirmative on part two.

I completely agree with what I read this morning. I learned that lesson long ago and began practicing what I learned. The problem is the challenges of dealing with individuals. What about the exceptions and the “what-ifs”? What do you really do when those loved ones that you cherish so much happen to be taken from you during that time of turmoil? Truth be known it is not that easy to say at the conclusion of an argument, “yeah well I love you so much”. Be realistic, in most arguments one is caught-up in the moment.

Now I have to get away from sounding so callous and mechanical, now I have to talk about one being the bigger person. There is a pregnant pause here, because I had to take in air. It is not ALL ABOUT YOU, let me make that clear. Now stop taking yourself so very serious, stop feeling sorry for YOU, and look at the big picture. This means saying I am sorry when you are not necessarily the one at fault. It means actively pursuing someone who seemingly does not want to be sought out.

In some cases one has to be away from their normal character, but in this process  the strength of that same character is demonstrated. I am not by any stretch saying this will be easy, but it is easier than some of the other alternatives.  Don’t sell yourself or the ones you love short here. In this direct “deal with it” attitude you come face to face with real feelings and emotions, this allows you to get to some things instead of running away from them.

“I love you but I don’t like you”, may seem cliche’ at times yet often times it is so very true.  You just don’t loose that love for someone because they hurt you or made you angry. Yet that anger and hurt are all so real as well. It is not unheard of or terrible to get or be angry with people you love and care about. Padding that anger with an automatic “I love you” does not change that anger. I think the best thing you can give to ones you love and yourself is honesty, and honesty is a tall order.

Therefore, I say be honest, direct, and real with these people and these feelings. Have compassion and tact in the process, but if by chance something occurs in the midst of some turmoil in your relationship and you do not have an opportunity for a “do over” be comforted in the knowledge that these folks do know you. More than likely at some point they may have been faced with the dilemma of dealing with it as well, but afforded the luxury of time to get through it.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , , , , , ,
13 Oct 2011
1 Comment

Do Ya Feel Me?

I want to write something positive. I would like for it to be thought provoking, but most of all I would like for it to make the readers think of something that makes them smile and appreciate some thing or some one. This could be a difficult task because I have to draw on my feelings for these words.

As I stare upward at the clear night sky and take in air, it all seems so familiar. This autumn night gives me a feeling of deja vu and while that is generally a good feeling it is still unsettling. I make myself ignore the unsettled part and surrender to the good. Over these past  52 years how many of these type of nights have I been blessed enough to see and appreciate.

Maybe it is the view of Pacific Ocean after a steady, cleansing rain.  Watching the waves crash into coastal rocks and give way to the tide, knowing this is so massive that all you can do is take in the splendor with your eyes, but being grateful you are able to enjoy it in this simple manner.

The things you cannot buy or possess, but you can be in the moment. The moment that could amount to hours if you choose to stay, or it could end in a few seconds if you choose not to.

As a child who grew up in the suburbs of Los Angeles, I cannot tell you how excited I felt when I watched a doe and her two fawns grazing on my clients property in North Georgia. Not roller coaster excitement, but the amazed and awe struck excitement of experiencing nature first hand.

Perhaps yours will be a child’s birth, and your first one on one meeting with this new tiny being. Maybe it will be the flashing colors of wild flowers growing along an interstate highway as you drive by. Whatever it is take it in and hold on to it. If you are lucky you may revisit that spot again in person, but if not you will forever have it to hold in your mind’s eye forever.

Posted in Order of Appearance

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