All Things Good
This is about an aspect of the individual I am, and the influences that I believe can be attributed to why I am the way I am. In short I credit the bulk of the positive to others and I assume the responsibility for the negative. However, through it all it is just me. Basically, a mild character analysis.
A lifetime ago I read Colleen McCullough’s The Thorn Birds. There was a line in the novel where Cardinal Ralph de Bricassart told, unbeknownst to him, his illegitimate son Dane not to follow in his footsteps because he had broken every sacred vow to God and the Catholic Church. Well I am not as bad as Cardinal deBricassart, but I have sinned in my life. It is not really important to what extent, what sins I have committed or even how many times. I am simply owning up to being human.
As I recall what I believe is my first conscious memory of the first time I was reprimanded for doing something wrong, that was major. We must eliminate the spankings for not listening or making too much noise, they count there are just too many.
Beyond pain and punishment what will really keep you from doing what you really want to do? As small children we are at the mercy of our parents, when you become older and then an adult there are outsiders who do not care about you that one must deal with, the very thing your parents warned you about. There was the drawing power of something forbidden and the strength of ones need to do what they want.
I have watched myself and others caught, having to own up to these wrongs. I will not say there are no regrets, but I do believe there is quite a ratio of difference between being truly sorry and sorry that one was caught. Honestly, I do not really like to think about that difference. There it is my “Ugly Truth”.
As we grow older we like to/tend to ignore we used to act on our devil-may-care whims. Sometimes we forget, oftentimes we pretend to. That is okay as long as you keep it to yourself and do not try to judge others for what they are currently doing incorrectly. I suggest helping instead; that means abandoning the self-righteous attitude, it doesn’t work for it is simply not believable.
I wish I could dance like no one was watching, but there are the inhibitions that keep me at bay. I wonder why there wasn’t something as strong that would have kept me from doing the questionable things? Although a simple matter of faith should have been my deterrent.
I search to end with something profound, I turn to my Bible and I suggest you do the same.