hafacenturyncounting

Motivated by a lack of material.

11 Jul 2011
1 Comment

Because It Is The Right Thing To Do

I just wanted to take time out to write you all in regards to the Free Day Of Dental Care. I have passed by your offices for several years now, for I have lived/worked in the Alpharetta Area for more than a decade. I have to tell you the first time I saw all the people lined up, I was surprised and a bit curious. I had heard about other health care providers and dental care providers doing similar things across the Metro Atlanta Area.  When I saw the signage and the lines the following year I was amazed that it was happening again, and remarked to my husband how nice and surprising to see this in Alpharetta no less. I said these must be some really decent caring people and/or they are getting some type of subsidy from the state or federal government, maybe a tax write off. This year I happily conceded and gave in, that no matter what the reason was, the act and you all deserve acknowledgement and praise.  I am a business owner and Free-Lance writer, now I have a “feel good” piece of material to write about. Thank you for taking the human factor into consideration. Blessing to you all. Sincerely, Eileen Russell

The preceding is a note that I was happily compelled to write to Jones Bridge Dental Care and its staff in Alpharetta, Georgia .

We have to go back a bit to give you some data that will help this make sense. First let’s talk about Alpharetta.  Alpharetta, Georgia is a medium to large sized suburb of Metro Atlanta approximately 58,000 residents. The population is characterized  by being financially stable, predominately white, well educated. Low crime rates, great shopping, nice restaurants.  A Shangri-La of sorts and if we are being honest, this is not a place where you would expect to find someone or some organization looking out for people in need. I do not want to take an undue poke at the city itself;  for in our society in general, when individuals arrive at certain places they tend to become insulated and insensitive. We are self-centered and self-absorbed. Thus, it is a pleasure to say something nice about a group of unlikely and extraordinary people.

Think about the last bad experience you had that involved customer service. Did you sit quietly by and let it go? Did you voice your complaint or write a letter? Better yet, do you remember the last time you had a good experience and bothered letting the person know it was positive and appreciated. A little encouragement goes a long way.

Dr. Leo Yelizarov resume boasts many achievements and awards, but that clearly isn’t all that there is to him. He is affectionately referred to as Dr. Leo by his patients, giving him the small town family doctor feel and appeal. This is not an advertisement for the good doctor and his practice, but it is an acknowledgement that individuals can and do make a difference.  People like Dr. Leo challenge us all to do  what we can, no matter what the scale, to help our fellow man.

So take off that protective covering, roll up your sleeves, and go do something nice for someone in need for no particular reason. Don’t do it for the recognition, but know in your heart it will NOT go unnoticed.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged
07 Jul 2011

Crosses To Bare

I am certain that I am not the only one who has heard this metaphor time and time again. Yet, when do you really think about what is being said. Are you like most of us, and see things that others do but not ones own faults, or do you look at your particular situation and think” well now that does make sense”. Like it or not things happen and depending on your vantage point one may or may not be deserving of the end result. The power of “karma“.

One thing we can rely on is we do not get to determine what type of punishment or reward we receive. We have no say in when or where these rewards or punishments will take place. It is arrogant and presumptuous to think we would, but after all is that not our nature? As we “bellyache” how unfair life is, do we have time to step back and revisit a place where we may have been a little less than fair to another person.

This piece is my mental note to remind me that my foot does NOT belong in my mouth. I love words. I play word games on a regular bases. I think I have a bit of a command of them. Yet, more often than I like to admit, they come out of my mouth like some sour regurgitated substance. While I feel bad about this occurrence, I do not often apologize for or even attempt to right this wrong, as I should. I believe it, yet it continues to happen so often, and because of this I decided  to broach the subject. This is me baring mine. My confession.

One may say these are only words, but words are very powerful. They start and end wars. They are generally at the root of most every type of conflict. We recognize their power in the negative sense, but fail to take advantage of their healing power. Therefore, my challenge is to take care of some inadvertent messes I have made. I will remind myself of how quick I am to complain, but it seems to take a little longer to write that complementary note. My appeal for forgiveness and recognition of that need to be forgiving as well.

Whatever you battle with take care of it one step at a time, but do take a first step. I can guarantee you will make no progress in your effort if you don’t, but the possibilities are endless if you do.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged , | Leave a comment
07 Jul 2011
1 Comment

What Happened To Our Common Ground

Today I married my best friend. How wonderful is this feeling, knowing that I’ve got this special person’s back and I am equally protected.  Come on back to Earth with me now folks, that was just an example of expressed, undying love. I mean it says best friend and ideally it would be great, but is it real? Are you and your spouse/mate truly friends or do you say it is so because it sounds good. If you were friends at one time what changed things? When did you first realize you were asking the question, “What happened to our common ground?”

When a marriage breaks up after twenty plus years, it is tragic to say the least. I ask, what took so long and why did they stay if this was so bad for so long. I must interject that a marriage break up is tragic no matter what amount of time has passed. Yes, I am makings some serious generalizations here, but maybe you know someone who is facing this  right now. Maybe that someone is you.

It takes a lifetime to get to know someone, but there are things that are visible about them the instant you meet them. One has to have strength, open mind, and be willing to act. These are not uncommon attributes, but for fear of being alone we let things go. Then you wake up and realize that you really did not let those things go at all, you simply buried them in a shallow unmarked grave. A grave that is on unstable ground and not dug very deep, and the results surprise you?

We like  knowing what will come next. In our youth surprises are welcomed and exciting. As we age they are viewed in a less favorable fashion and avoided. The illustrious “governator” gave his wife and family a surprise a few weeks ago. To say the least it was poorly planned and not well received.

The ability to see that “common ground” becomes harder and harder as our vision starts to deteriorate. How can we get there if one of our main vehicles breaks down? Now you cannot see this imaginary place, and you certainly cannot get there without knowing the direction you should be traveling in. Who knows it may not even be there any longer. What if it is simply unrecognizable, because you have not bothered to care for it.

“Common ground” should be treated as a garden. You have to tend to the garden, it requires care and attention. You have to visit, water, fertilize, and weed that garden if you want the good things in it to grow.

Posted in Order of Appearance
07 Jul 2011

With Conditions

This is how we gauge ourselves and the things we do, isn’t it. We make purchases based on conditions. We involve ourselves in activities and with people as well. It seems to be the smart thing to do, because in effect we are “covering all the bases”.

In my youth I watched an interview with Maurice White of Earth, Wind and Fire. I remember ever so clearly how he remarked about the love of a baby. How it was free, unconditional, and how great it would be if we could fashion our adult relationships after them. I thought, wow that is so wonderful and amazing. Imagine someone taking you as you are, no requirements to be this way or that way. Of course that sounded amazing to a teenaged  girl, an individual whose entire social existence is defined by conditions.

For years to come unconsciously, I would search and strive to have that unconditional love relationship again. I say again, because at one point in my life I did have it even if it was in infancy. I smile at the thought of it, because no matter how much you love your parents that unconditional love, well couldn’t it possibly be borne out of dependency?

What I did not think about at the time was that the idea in itself of unconditional love, was a relationship with conditions all of its own. “Hollywood” still capitalizes off of our fantasy to find that perfect love, the love that allows us to be exactly who we are and have no need to explain or excuse ourselves. “And they lived happily ever after”, it looks and sounds so pretty. No conflicts or complaints, sounds like someone here is unrealistic, needy, dependent, or all of the above.

We want perfection, but are we perfect? Do you have the right to place such a requirement on someone, when you yourself cannot live up to those very same stipulations. It is only fair and it is also very difficult to live up to that type of standard. You will ultimately find yourself, unhappy or alone. I am not simply talking about love relationships here.

I submit this, there are no perfect people here on Earth, therefore it is impossible to find perfection in a person. One has to find what will actually work for oneself. Look for acceptable;  not tolerable, not bearable for the very names suggest less than desired,  for it is  in that acceptable you will find and receive acceptance.

Posted in Order of Appearance | Leave a comment
03 Jul 2011

Who’s in Charge?

In a totally rhetorical sense, the question is asked. People among us who consider themselves Christians, know the answer. Whether or not they believe or behave as such, remains to be seen at times. We take names at face value, but when it is time to deliver something or someone very different can appear.

I have to give you a couple of feel good thoughts to ponder. I watched a program on the National Geographic Channel, called “Unlikely Animal Friends”, and if ever there was a case for the title of this piece that program is it. Close to a time of night when no urge is stronger than sleep for a very weary body, I watched with an uncontrollable smile stories of cats befriending birds, lionesses nurturing baby wildebeests, tigers and bears living together as companions. The sarcastic part of my mind saying this is like you and a lobster(which by-the-way I no longer consume) going for a long swim. Not gonna happen for the most simplistic and basic reasons, I  cannot swim and if I were a swimmer I would much rather swim with someone that I feel is more compatible with me.

Given choices we more often than not select what we think is going to work best for us based on look, familiarity, and understanding. Not necessarily a bad thing, but a very limiting thing. We have the availability of the universe, but we select the small room. That doesn’t make sense does it? It does if you want to be in charge, and let’s face it we all want to be in charge.

Do you think you know your limitations? Are you afraid and the small space you occupy makes you feel strong and safe? Don’t be mistaken, you are not familiar with your limitations, you are making yourself limited.

I am not advocating that one should go out and do dare-devilish things, without care or concern for health and well being. I am advocating go out and try something new and different. Let go of that fear, because you realize who is actually in charge. If you have the right answer, you will be okay. This knowledge will give you freedom, freedom to take chances, freedom to depart from what you know. Freedom to let go without fear; like Ace Bourke and John Rendall did with the lion called ironically and fittingly, Christian.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged | Leave a comment
28 Jun 2011
2 Comments

Cleaning Out The Closets

This being a milestone for this is the 50th post on my blog, I think realizing one of  the new awakenings at this stage is important. The Closet; what does it represent, what is its purpose, and how is it being used? It has been a place that housed things properly, it has hidden things, and things have been lost in there.

Walking into my closet made me aware of many feelings. I remember when it was a place of turmoil and confusion; what on Earth will I wear today? Where are my black pumps? I recall it being a place of awe; There is so much room in here. Then there is the present in which it represents need; a need to clean out, be it throw away, donate, or organize, it is still a place of need.

Certainly there are some shoppers out there. I have always been one myself. I cannot attest to particularly good taste. I do believe I have made some good choices over time. Now a great deal of my shopping is for another generation. My granddaughter, mi nieta,  as I like to call her has managed to do what her grandfather is incapable of; she has space in my closet in our master bedroom. She didn’t ask for it, I gave it to her. The family laughs and are amazed at the same time by the fact that this phenomenon has occurred.

Now space is not really an issue, there is still plenty of room. What I see is there are things that no longer belong in there. Items that no longer “fit” for one reason or another. Like the decision to no longer color your hair, one day YOU realize that it isn’t working anymore. Not necessarily that you don’t like it, but it isn’t believable or it just isn’t who you are. Then I must face the fact that there are still uncertainties here. As some colors and styles are no longer flattering, the question arises, what does work now?

This will be a process and it will begin with organizing. Organizing thoughts, I have to have a plan.  The plan must be carried out with intent,  methodically. The way the plan is carried out will demonstrate how successful the process will ultimately be.

Phase I: Removal. When and where do I start? As I take away the clutter, the unnecessary things in that space as well as that space itself will begin to become clean, clear, and unprotected. Huummm, am I ready for that?

Phase II: Re-Organize. Put everything remaining in a proper space, perspective.

Phase III: Replace. This must be done carefully, for there is a danger of the same clutter returning and returning rapidly.

Phase IV: Revel and Realize. This is a nice change, but it an ongoing process that requires attention and maintenance.

Phase V: Repeat and Re-apply. Move on to the next  “closet” or area.

On an ending note, Good Luck!

Posted in Epiphany and tagged , , ,
28 Jun 2011

They Are So Much More Than Me

Self-image is so much more than the visuals. I have never like photographs of me. I laughingly say, “they look too much like me”. It is not a joke but a vicious truth; for when you are not happy with the way you look, a statement like that is merely self-revealing. However, I will caution you to NOT take yourself so seriously.

I rifled through my pictures today, some on the computer some in hard copy. It was amazing. I traveled through time and revisited my parents in their youth, I looked at my children through various stages of their lives and experienced my grandchild all over again.  I am in awe of each of them, I am grateful to God for them, but I don’t often consciously think of how they are connected to me. I love them in spite of the fact they are related to me not simply because they are related to me. Don’t get this wrong, I am not overtly filled with self-hatred or self-loathing, I just do not feel worthy of any of them.  I am proud and in amazed by all of them. Ah yes, another snapshot courtesy of self-image.

Not unlike a camera lens, self image can take on a variety of characteristics. Many factors have to be taken into account as to why the image looks the way it does; equipment, angle, lighting and focus will all affect the look of the subject. However, the mind’s eye is a very significant factor here, for it affects the physiological and the psychological.

These self-images will determine the types of relationships we have and with whom. After all, who knows you better than you?  Doesn’t arrogance mar knowledge at times?When that happens disaster is inevitable. After enough disasters, hopefully the knowledge will neutralize the arrogance. Then step back and take a look of those people so near and dear to you. Connected by something simple as a bloodline. Realize those relationships that are/were affected by the  afore mentioned self image may be responsible for some of the beings in your life, and some of the beings in your life that made you who you are can take credit for your self image at least as  in part.

Ancestors and descendents they are all still family; and in the big picture, in the grand scheme of things we all are a part of something massive and wonderful. Our roles as individuals  are essential.

Posted in Order of Appearance | Leave a comment
24 Jun 2011
2 Comments

Lost and Aware

Realization came crashing in. Ignore it if you will, but it does not stop. Something strange was happening, in the beginning it was very obvious and out in the open where it could be seen. As time went on it became less and less visible on the surface, but it was always there just below the surface, waiting to pounce. Now it rarely shows in the fashion it used to, but it is there just the same.

Have you ever lost something? It is a miserable feeling. Being a collector makes losing something seem so much  more intense. What does the loss signify? Well were you careless, are you becoming forgetful, or did it just happen. You see there is a remedy for the first, the second can be consciously worked on and with some success, but the third is as unbelievable as it is dishonest.

In the exploration of this subject one has to first admit that we are all collectors of something, on one level or the other. Being unaware that you are a collector does not stop you from being one. Therefore, it does make you subject to the rules of collecting.  Ask yourself why you are collecting and what exactly you want to collect? What are you planning on doing with your collection and how long are you going to collect? This is a good start for a beginning collector. It is thought through and rather precise. One thing that I have found that holds true in this life on every plain I have encountered, with out a plan things are sure to go awry.

A good collector has a plan, with purpose and place at the focal point. A bad collector simply will eventually become a hoarder. The one that has no symmetry, his collection has gone all wrong. There is no way of determining what is being collected or why. The hoarder is overwhelmed and eventually will fall victim to his very own “mess”. All the time not knowing how this came to be; but a closer look will reveal this did not just happen, and it did in fact take steps.

Again I ask the question have you ever lost something? During the process did someone close to you or even someone who just happened to be there asked, “Where did you see/have it last?” While this question is both stupid and annoying at the time, think of how many times you have located that lost item. This lends validity to the title Lost and Aware on a primary level; for if you loose something and retrieve it later you were aware of its location, if you throw something away carelessly you no longer have it but you are aware of your actions thus explaining why you no longer have this thing. It takes away our ability to say, I don’t know where______ is and/or I don know how I lost it. Once again we have to face up to our shortcomings, but also we are given another unique opportunity to fix them.

Posted in Order of Appearance
17 Jun 2011

Our 15 Minutes

This one was “deep”. So much ran through my mind and soul in church. I tried to jot down notes, but I was so focused on what Pastor Kevin was saying. I am gonna run with this and see where it ends.

This fabled space that we all will occupy, at one point in time or another. The place in time and space where the spotlight will be on us and we want it there too. Whether we realize it or not. Perhaps that is why I tied the sermon on judging into this piece. For judging is so superficial, in your face if you will. When the discussion moved to how we make judgements based on what we see what is out front without knowing the back story, I connected the dots.

In our 15 minutes we put the best that we have forward, even if it is only a facade. We must keep up those all important appearances However, not knowing the full story or not being able to see beyond what is in front of us does not make the reality of it any less. How much of that 15 Minutes would you want if the spotlight was directed at you and only a very tiny bit of the story was clear, if you weren’t ready for your “close-up”.

Let’s take the camera off of ourselves and point it in another direction, are you going to be as careful with those same shots at someone else as you would hope someone else would be with you? Be honest, you are going to take random and candid shots, you aren’t going to wait for them to make ready. The result may very well be some unflattering images and you think,”Ooh I wouldn’t want that to be me, why didn’t they look up at the right time, why didn’t they check themselves out before hand”. Now take those same statements in a literal context and apply it to what you think or say about another individual when you are passing judgement. However, it won’t really hit home until you apply this same principle to yourself directly.

Cameras, photography, mirrors and even microscopes are excellent metaphoric devices for judging; they should be used interchangeably for Our 15 Minutes, perhaps we would be more cautious with our judging if we did.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking, Epiphany and tagged , , , , | Leave a comment
14 Jun 2011
1 Comment

VIII-Haftonowhatuwant

This actually began as the question: “what do you want?” It was addressing someone else. I soon realized this question applied to me as well, and the fact that I did not know the answer.  There certainly is an answer, but do you or I dare reveal it.

Free Time at this stage is both an opponent and a companion. There are always things to do, you can always find things to do, therefore being in a rest state makes me feel less accomplished. There is this overwhelming sense that I should be doing something productive. When I do allow myself the Free Time, it still comes with a challenge. In a visceral way the mind must be active, and naturally query occurs. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just lounge around and feel free to just go-with-the-flow?

Example; there is a re-entry of someone in your life. Initially, the excitement and anticipation happens. Then the lull comes, it even deteriorates to minimal contact. What is next? Do you sever the newly established ties or do you  just go along, wait and see? Free Time is in the opponent mode here, therefore this is going to end up in the scrap pile. Inevitably the question arises why the scrap heap, well it is simple the underlying question was/is”what do you want”. You wanted something more didn’t you, something defined and something you could wrap your mind around. No one likes these pieces of obscurity dangling around them without a clear cut purpose. Remember who we have holding onto our arm as a companion and quite a demanding one at that, Free Time.

With conviction and a sense of absolution we make a commitment, either literal or psychological, to what we say we think we want. Yet the more distant and out of each “it” is the better we really like it. For how else could we be able to  convince ourselves that this thing that escapes us is the one thing we truly want and that “it” is what is necessary to complete us.

Knowing what you want is scary; it is scary to have the desire, it is scary if we get what we want, and scary if we don’t.  Who among us wants to face up to fear and apprehension? To characterize this period of our lives one would have to say we are truly in a state of definite maybes, a holding pattern and perhaps we aren’t any closer to what or where we figured we would be a couple of decades ago. We have the feeling we should be actively doing something to change that.  What exactly should we be doing though?. One of our bigger dilemmas is we still have that expectation that things should be different. We cannot be carefree because we know better, life has taught us a lesson or two on that very subject. We cannot just accept things for what they are, because we believe we still have too much life left to live for compromising.

Therefore carry on with the knowledgeable and gregarious spirit that allows you to continue on towards what you want and what you need. Trust that when you do come across “it”, when you find “it” in your sights, you will recognize and take a hold of what you want.

Posted in Hafwaythroughpoints and tagged , , ,

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