hafacenturyncounting

Motivated by a lack of material.

Archive for the month “April, 2026”

12 Apr 2026

Quick Thoughts Leave You Quickly

As someone who considers themselves a writer, I test several methods and ways to get my ideas into a visual form for sharing. Technology has given us many gifts. There are tools that seemingly will allow “us” to produce at the speed of light. This of course is an exaggeration. The ideas still need to be borne from our minds… correct

Currently I am working on being motivated and deliberate. I want to not just begin my pieces; I want to complete them. My biggest challenge is completions. I start just fine but then I get distracted. Once I disconnect for a moment my focus is in another area and eventually my body follows the lead of my mind.

Memory is a funny thing at this juncture in life. Many of my contemporaries worry that tiny lapses are indications of something far more serious. However, that is not always the case. We have to learn that while we must advocate for ourselves, we must give ourselves grace and if we are still truly troubled by health and/or behavior changes, seek out the advice of a trained professional.

Here is the connection; my situation and this particular piece are guided by my writing, mountains of information, and memory. I begin my process of writing, I have to process the information, research it, draw conclusions, and get it written. When distractions take me out of my headspace, I lose something, I forget. I become aggravated but should I be alarmed? At this point I say, no. I say I need to find a way to retain the thoughts and thought processes. This is old fashioned, but for fear of stating the obvious, I am old. Writing down brief notes helps me remember what I intend to write about. It works. Do you know how I know it works? Well, it is quite simple; when I do not employ this process, I forget. I spend a great deal of time trying to recover the idea I wanted to address but neglected to write down. Then I am stuck, stuck because I cannot let go of the idea I had and stuck because I cannot recover it beyond knowing I had this idea.

Is this cause for concern, should I consult with the geriatric department for testing? I think not, at least for now. I think I need to slow down and employ the process I know works, because I have seen time and again what happens when I do not. I get a first-hand lesson in how quick thoughts leave quickly.

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11 Apr 2026

Sometimes It Just Doesn’t Seem Real

2:13 in the morning, I am actually preparing to go to sleep. I made the mistake of napping earlier in the evening. I am restless, but very aware I need to get that REM sleep. The tele has gone into the inactive state. Now images from my picture library are appearing. I pay them little attention, but then an image of Jay (my late son), Carlton, and Wes (my late husband) appear. It is Jay’s 1st birthday. His face and hands look as though they were dipped in the chocolate frosting. They are all smiling, clearly posing, but they is a sense of joy on their faces. I stop in the midst of my sleep preparation and allow myself to immerse myself in that moment in time. A time when my family was intact, a time where I could not fathom 38 years in the future. The place I currently occupy. For a brief millisecond that feeling is real.

I hear Wes’ voice; I see the kids’ irrepressible smiles. I feel “at home”. Then, my consciousness awakens. I am alone in my bedroom. My “Tiana’ sleeps at my feet (for now). Without thinking but surely knowing, my eldest is in another state with his family, my youngest son and my husband are no longer here on Earth with me. The overwhelming sadness engulfs me. I do not breakdown on the outside, but on the inside what I feel simply returns to the place it has occupied for the past 8 years, ever-present and unwavering.

For a short period in time, we can sometimes let our mind do what is needed, so that we can continue to function. We never forget; we simply learn to manage or let the forces within us take on and take over, that which we are not equipped to. The truth is sometimes it just doesn’t seem real.

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08 Apr 2026

Proportionately Smaller

I stood patiently (not really but visually that was the case) in line at my favorite bath and body works store; I thought,” Why didn’t I just go to the counter before these two!?” I had a chance but no I had to walk around one more time, just in case I missed some-little-thing. I saw them interacting in my peripheral vision, just waiting for someone to notice them. Were they mother, daughter, and grandbaby in arms? Were they two good friends on a shopping venture? I didn’t know, I didn’t care. What I did I know, I was annoyed far beyond what I was willing to display. 30 years working for the Federal Government taught me the virtue of patience. Don’t think what I possess is admirable, it is merely a tool. A tool that allows me to NOT expend my energy on things that are ultimately pointless. Yet as I stood waiting, I could not help but notice the one I would call the mother. She was wearing a short set. It was cute, she was tiny. However, she was wearing block high heels.

My mind wandered as the transaction seemed to go on endlessly. Little attention was paid to this woman because she was, for lack of a better term, an acceptable height. She was non-threatening, because she did not take up a great deal of space. No one or nothing was disrupted, because she was present. The balance was NOT thrown off due to her basically blending in. I then thought of how less than 24 hours earlier I was “teased” about how short my skort/split skirt was. When in actuality my outfit was no shorter than what this woman wore. I have developed a Teflon coating, if you will, when it comes to what I appear like. You see, people like me are held to a different standard. We give a bit of a real illusion. Like the words illuminated on some side mirror of vehicles…”object may appear closer…” With folks like me, particularly women, we may appear larger than life. Then one is left with what is the definition of or the defining point when you say, “larger than life”. Yet from the vantage point of those who are proportionately smaller, we do not fit.

Quick facts 2-3% of the GLOBAL population is 6 feet tall.in the United States 14.5% of men are 6ft and 1% of the women. The average height of the American man is 5’9″ and the American woman is 5’3.5″. These are rough estimations from internet sources. Still, I say look around your immediate environment, that will tell you a story. For the record I am 5’10” in this instance, I AM proportionately smaller.

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05 Apr 2026

For The Benefit of Your Company

I listen to the stories. I read articles about how difficult and distant we are with one another when it comes to dating. I honestly don’t believe that dating can be defined by most of the standards we, baby boomers grew up with. This is a precarious situation to be in because many of us are in the status that requires us to date. Note; if you are satisfied with your status, of course this does not apply to you. I hate that I feel the need to interact/include individuals that I am not necessarily addressing.

I will be general and basic. What do you want in dating? What do you hope to accomplish? Are you being honest with yourself and the possible companion? Dating used to be so easy when we were teens/young adults. Now we need background checks, medical records and credit reports. Again, depending on what you want.

I tell myself and others, “Whatever it is you are wanting there is someone who can fit or work for you”. Alterations may have to be made but ultimately as resourceful humans this is NOT an impossible task. However, I know more unhappy, unfulfilled, lonesome people than I care to. They are smart, financially stable, emotionally available, attractive or any combination of these characteristics. Men say women are users, women say men are children who want their way. Again general, basic, and oversimplified. Yet it does cover a good cross section of our “eligible daters” category.

We have a perceived sense of time and availability working against us. These are great hardships to overcome. However, say for the sake of argument, we get past those two factors smoothly sailing on our way to bliss and suddenly we find ourselves ” run aground and shipwrecked”! We ask, ” How did we end up here?” Afterall, we made a good choice, we screened this person very thoroughly… what was missed. I think we should start with truth. How honest were we? Honesty with the other individual. Honesty about expectations. Honesty with self. I believe without this basic taken care of, our relationships are built like a house of cards and ultimately, they WILL fail.

As I look back on my trek in the dating world, I realize my journey has taken quite a few twists and turns. I also realize that I had a great deal of self-discovery to uncover. I did not plan on being here, but I am here just the same. I navigated the best way I could, I did not mean to go down certain roads, but I found myself there anyway. Ideally, we should come to this table with a clean slate. Not saying that we have not had any experiences, but we have exorcized the demons of previous relationships, and we are willing to venture out with pure intentions. Yeah, I am a hopeless romantic

Truth is you can do everything right and still end up in the same place as an individual who does everything wrong, for all the wrong reasons. Now you ask yourself, why bother, what is the purpose? My answer is as follows: for intelligent conversations, for belly laughs, for the warmth of an embrace, for the sweetness of passionate kisses, in short for the benefit of your company.

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05 Apr 2026

Birds of A Feather…

Now more than ever I find myself referencing proverbs. So much can be taken from these sayings and applied to life. Thus, the title of this piece. For the everyday person what we do, how we do it, and when we do it is of little or no reverence to anyone beside those in our immediate circle. It is different for those who qualify as celebrities and public figures. Their thoughts, actions and opinions are subject to immediate and harsh reaction. However, today, everyone has access to something that can give us a level of celebrity, the classification of public figure. With that being said what are we doing with this influence, this power? What do we expect of others that have this same power either actual or implied?

The United States has continuously been a nation that passes judgement on other nations about the moral temperature of other such nations. Now we have an individual representing “our nation” that is far from positive (I will leave it there). We expect people/others to follow our lead, even when our lead is looking quite “jaded”. For wat it is worth, my opinion on my blog is subject to judgement, but there is no promise/implication that the opinions will be given significant consideration…just like every other opinion piece out there.

Most recently we have Rozonda “Chilli” Thomas aligning herself with the likes of Kid Rock, a political party, an individual who is identified as the leader of OUR nation. ALL who/which have time and again said, as well as demonstrated, there is little or no concern for “people” in general as well as specifically (minorities women, immigrants) They choose favoritism over fair. They select money over well-being. At the end of the day, they let all who do not think, feel act, function JUST like them, there is NO ROOM for you in this country that is characterized as, Of the people, by the people, for the people. All the while there is an expectation that we continue to do as we did before this information was revealed, support THEM (especially financially). Yet when they do something that is so overtly disgusting, their defense is ignorance and innocence. They did not know or the information was accidentally posted…. Sound familiar? (e.g. Obama insulting/doctored photos, conspiracy theories, monetary contributions)

YES, individuals have a right to vote for, support whomever, they choose… On the flip side of that people have the same right, and if that means we no longer want to be fans, followers, etc. so be it. That is a chance you take. Please do not take for granted that a base you pandered to is NOT bright enough to see through your facade (Chilli) or feigned ignorance (well maybe it is not completely feigned).

A couple of condensed ” take-aways” here. First, the individual listed is NOT the only one. Next, your when you are in the public eye your choices do have consequences and they are costly. Finally, weigh your actions and look closely at who is your real support. Govern yourself accordingly. See who comes to your concert tours now.

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