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Archive for the tag “wisdom”

27 Apr 2013
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It’s All About “ME”

The title implies, that is which  is true. Call me selfish, because that is exactly what I am.  I am also a deceptive being who hides behind things; my feelings and emotions lurk just below the surface, yet a very primitive thing gives me away, The Look Upon My Face.

When you raise a family your obligation is to them first and foremost.  However, as time goes on things progress and suddenly everyone is an adult and they are living their life, now there is you left. Maybe you missed your chance earlier in life for that self-discovery. It is not too late.

I suggested to my children they live alone before the responsibilities  of  being a spouse and father took over in their lives. I think everyone needs to try to get to know “self” first. I did this and my time as a single adult was a happy time. However, I have come to realize that the individual I came to know and like quite a lot, was not a person who would fit into my current living condition. Being alone does not teach you to share and put any need above your very own. In the real world there are going to be others around you. Never before has “No man is an island” held more true.

Lately, I have been on a mission to get into a condition that I feel is more palatable to “ME”. I feel closer than ever to attaining that goal, and I do attribute it to the fact that I am allowing myself to do something for “ME”. “Rock Hard Abs” here I come. Pictures to follow!

In closing I want to caution you against going too far in the other direction in your quest to care for  and/or love your individual “ME”. Do not become obsessive in this new self love; follow this rule as always “nothing to excess everything in moderation” and you cannot go wrong.

 
Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , ,
18 Apr 2013
4 Comments

Just Ask

“Deal Breakers” you may ask yourself or maybe it is asked of you how much more of this would/will you take? Do you know the answer? What about the people around you and I am not just talking about any people, I mean the ones you say you love and care about. Just how much do you actually know about these folks?

Okay when is the birthday, what’s the favorite color, food, or designer? The most embarrassing thing that has ever happened and the happiest moment. These are just a few examples; but to be honest none of these matter if they are NOT the one that counts for, the one who counts to you.

There is nothing worse than thinking you know someone and finding out you don’t. However, I think it is equally disappointing to that loved one to discover this same information. Knowledge does not always come easy and one of the best ways to obtain information is to simply ask the right questions. One cannot assume they know all there is to know about another, by virtue of mere exposure. Here’s a secret, we do not reveal ourselves right away.

It is a mistake to leave something that is important to you to chance. I have pointed out many times, that we ourselves do not know or cannot always explain ourselves; therefore how can we expect someone outside of ourselves to do this very same thing? It is slightly unreasonable.

I am not excusing a repeat offender, but I do say it is very possible for someone close to you not to know important facts about you or to even forget these important facts. Give them the benefit of the doubt.   Therefore, my suggestion/my solution is “just ask”. Ask if you don’t know something, ask if you want something, but do ask. Do not house animosity towards someone close to you for simply being human, it happens to the best of “us”.

Posted in Quickbits and tagged , ,
17 Apr 2013
1 Comment

Time In Purgatory

Not being Catholic, I believe Purgatory is among some of the most familiar concepts non-Catholics are familiar with. Now note I said familiar, NOT knowledgeable. Through time and interpretation the definition of Purgatory has changed, but in general most associate it with purification; pain and suffering on a temporary basis.

As I wrote that I allowed my mid to wander a bit briefly to a time period in which people were tortured and killed in public in the name of God? The concepts surrounding God in Christianity does address His wrath, but what on Earth ever made people think they were qualified and capable to do God’s work, when it comes to punishment. God is quite capable of handling ALL things Himself. Certainly given the nature of man he would not rely on us to handle such a thing. Man, in his ever present arrogance, decided man was capable, qualified, and he therefore acted. I will move on.

Thus, what we associate Purgatory with is what man has decided it should be. I will not get into a religious debate, I have said before I am not versed enough. I do possess a minor understanding; and can see how concepts in the wrong hands, even religious ones, can get carried away.

During an unhappy time or particularly difficult period, do you ask WHY? When you ask why, do you also provide yourself with an answer, an explanation. For if you do then you are ” treading dangerous waters”. God allows us free will, but when decision that we make do not turn out like we thought they should or were not to our liking we blame God in one way or another.

On a massive scale the idea associated with prison; the way we deal with crime and punishment, is this a distorted solution. For how many actually come away from that experience better than before? I believe you had to have good in you, but you just needed something to bring it out of you, in order to survive the ordeal and then have the desire to be new and improved.

One thing the idea of Purgatory does, is it puts you in a place that allows you to think; although I cannot and do not see how one could think or reflect in a place where pain and suffering were so great. Perhaps, the submission part is all that is needed here.

I think God wants us because he loves us, nothing more. If we examine other aspect of our humanity we are not a very good gamble. He gives us free will to do right or wrong. We are not worthy, yet he loves us anyway.  On those bad or challenging days remember this. You have the reins over your life, and what you do with this control is entirely within your power. Make your choices wisely.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged , , , , ,
15 Apr 2013
1 Comment

Maybe God Is Trying To Tell You Something

I was headed to work early one morning. Not in a particularly good mood. My job was 45 miles away one direction, I disliked my work, my co-workers thought I had denied them something due to my mere presence, and the Postmaster did not want me there. This was my reality at the time. It took me about an hour and 15 minutes to get to Acworth  from my home in Duluth. However more than my travel time to the job, I had to prepare myself for the environment. I was angry and distant from everyone at that place, all I wanted to do was get away from there. Hating my job took on a whole new meaning at Acworth.

I was headed north on the I-75 one cold January morning about 5:15 a.m. when I saw the red lights flashing. I did not have a lot of traffic around me but I did have to slow down. In the darkness I could not make out the vehicle, I do not even know how many were involved. I knew, I could feel someone was leaving this Earth at that moment. I believe I witnessed a soul passing. I felt it and I was overcome with emotion. When I arrived at the post office that same morning and opened it I sat down after it was disarmed and cried.  I did not know it at the time but before the month of January was out; I would be transferred to a location less than 6 miles away from my home, working in an environment where my co-workers held no animosity for me, and my boss was glad to have an assistant.

As I saw smoke rising from what was left of what had to be a car, I was eerily reminded of  bad accident I was involved in back in California in 1989. You don’t forget head on collisions that you walk away from. The same misty like smoke passed in front of me when my Jaguar came to a stop just short of a brick wall. My father had only passed away less than a month earlier. I always felt he was with me and protecting me that night.

However, the message that was sent to me was how quickly things can change and do not put you heart into “things”. I loved that CAR, it was all I had wanted in a vehicle. It meant way too much to me and as I sat pinned in it unable to move. I remember crying for the loss of my car. I also remember crying as I realized the Lord was speaking to me about something more than that CAR. I did not realize I was doing it before the accident, but I stopped worshiping things that night.

Sometimes you are in a situation that does not allow you to see beyond yourself, you are unable to see the “big picture”. God will step in when and where you least expect it and show you a way or wake you up so you don’t miss something you need to see or act upon. I know; He has literally waken me from sleep to show me something. What do you do when God is trying to tell you something? It is not always easy to read, it may be unclear to you what the Lord is saying to you at the time, but you know there is a message and it is to you. I will tell you what I do, I pray. Not anything in particular, I just pray to let God know I hear Him. I just did.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged ,
14 Apr 2013

They Are Getting Long

I am not trying to be long-winded or in this case long-penned, but it is happening. The last few post have been over 700 words. I have even created category (QUICKBITS), that houses my “shorties” in it. However, what do you supposed these lengthy pieces are all about? Personally I give it to comfort, time, and a clearer head. Not necessarily in that order.

I decided to go back to the gym, now I did not consciously decide to stop. I had allowed the stresses of my life make me feel so overwhelmed I did not feel like doing anything but staying in a constant state of being aware of my constant state of worry and stress. My confusion and discord was spreading to wherever I was (i.e. my office, my dinner table, the family room, and my nightstand). This had to stop.

I  picked up all of my confusion from the respective areas, went in the office( I stayed out of the office most of the time because it was such a catastrophe), and did not come out until I had organized the paperwork. The fog was beginning to clear and things began to make sense again. Working-out is a release; given that why wouldn’t I want to give myself a break, never mind the added perk of getting firm and fit. I started back and I felt better immediately and saw results externally within a very short time period. Placebo effect, perhaps, but in the meantime I will continue. Think chocolate is addicting, try adrenaline.

My work hours had changed, but it seemed as though I never had any time. This came about due to the illusion of being overwhelmed due to the mess I was exposing myself to. Once the mess was cleared away, I no longer had to sit around/look at/concentrate on, the impending clean up project. Now I had time to dedicate to the blog.

Finally, I know what I want to say and how I want to say it to my slowly increasing audience. I have found a comfort zone here. I work hard at NOT being too personal in my writing. I do have opinions and point them out, but mostly I want to simply bring observations to light. I think this is the best format to encourage interaction and interest. The blogs are getting a bit longer, this is true. I love to write, I like to talk, when I reach people it is because I am reaching out to them. I don’t mind extending that hand, just don’t leave me “hangin” out there too long.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , , | Leave a comment
14 Apr 2013

Personally, I Am Very Private

This is a prelude to a piece that will be included in another section on the blog.

Although I am not a celebrated author (here I go..) I can tell a pretty good story, I think my writing is above average, and if only by the sheer numbers I have produced some readable work. I missed the point completely, at first.  I couldn’t explain it, I couldn’t put it into words, then I stopped and thought about it. I was amazed in a way, disappointed in a way, but now I do understand.

In a world and in an era where everyone wants to be seen, everyone wants to be heard, everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame; I got a surprise. Now I was going to do a piece about someone I do in fact know, and I was going to try to tell their very interesting, historic story. I prepared to interview them, I had an idea how I wanted to do this piece, I wanted to tell their story as individuals, but I wanted my readers to know about them as a couple as well.

However on my last encounter when I reminded and inquired , of the husband, if he would be ready to speak with me on my next visit.  In a pleasant way he told me he did not mind me telling his story as long as it was not going to be “naming names”. He went on to say there were things he just didn’t want to talk about and then he asked(may have forgotten) what I was going to do with this information. I think we have a tendency to look at our seniors with kindness and pity, we view them as grumpy and not in control  but  what this does is deprive, whether knowingly or not, them of what they deserve most of all RESPECT.

While telling their story may have been okay with his wife, maybe it really wasn’t clear or thought through. I say that because once again I am dealing and in the same mindset, with a society of  folks whose taglines could easily be “HEY OVER HERE LOOK AT ME!!!”

The aspiring writer in me was surprisingly not let down. This would be yet another challenge, and I saw an opportunity to not get one piece out of this encounter but two. The first is this piece, drawing attention to the fact there are some private people left.  The second will be in the Fictional Accounts category. It will not be lacking in content.

Back to the matter at hand, I thought how fortunate I was to have these particular people available to me. I have always, since childhood, enjoyed talking to people I was junior to in a chronological sense. I also enjoy talking to intelligent people. Longevity, in the most general way, has to be given credence to some degree of wisdom one gains by the virtue of mere existence. I both respect and admire my friends who will be the subject of my Fictional Accounts story, I just had to be reminded of this.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , , , | Leave a comment
08 Apr 2013

Bad Behavoir Contagion

Well it spreads like any other infection. Exposure to this means you are as likely to catch or become it, as you are to resist or overcome it. Take a closer look.

What do you know about the typical characteristics of communicable diseases. You know the environment has to be ideal for them to grow and thrive in. There must be a host to infiltrate. This same host must have a weakened system. Repeated exposure to the attacker is generally enough to accomplish a breakdown. Finally there have to be others for it to spread to.

Although bad behavior is primarily psychological affliction, I submit to you it sports the same characteristics as the physiological one. Therefore what do you do when you know you are going to be in a situation or environment that puts YOU at risk? One could avoid it, one could build oneself up with vitamins and nutrients. However, if those things fail and you end up affected, you get help.

The treatment has to include both physician and medication. The host must follow the directions of both in order to fight off and drive away the disease. Full recovery is possible, but that is not saying it will be easy.

When we place the condition in the psychological column, the physician becomes the counselor or spiritual leader; vitamins and nutrients, become good influences and reliable information; medication becomes consistent positive reinforcement.

With these things in your corner, you are prepared for battle. You stand a chance to not only fight off this bad behavior, but possibly change some of it.

Posted in Quickbits and tagged , , , , | Leave a comment
01 Apr 2013
2 Comments

The Joke Was On

Many years ago one might do things without a second thought; now when you look at the world around you, do you have second thoughts.

Life is so serious that we do not have time to laugh and play, if you will. Yet I submit to you, what is a world without room for fun and games. These things that provide us all with an outlet, an actual place for laughter.

I enjoy comedy as much as anyone. I have watched it evolve to a level that the new generation of comics do not believe they can entertain you without being vulgar or mentioning body functions repeatedly, out-of-the-blue, and with little or no pertinence. However, I still do love to laugh and will continue to look for/to this outlet for my regular smiles.

In a time meant for seriousness, when one should be well aware of what one is doing. You enter into a situation haphazardly, but you have no idea what the ramifications of this cavalier approach will have until much later. You didn’t think it would go this far or last this long, but it did and now you ask yourself the question(s). Was I serious? How could I think this would be alright? Where do I go from here?

Adulthood does not give in freely to the ideas of pranks and jokes. I submit you should not take yourself too seriously, but there is a time and a place for the fun and games.

Posted in Quickbits and tagged , , ,
01 Apr 2013
8 Comments

I Will See You… Forever

Since April Fool’s Day immediately follows Easter this year I felt compelled to write about something serious and endearing. The blessing Friendship. I invite you into my story and in turn take a personal visit to yours.

I have one biological sister and felt so happy when she was born, because I lived in a male dominated household. Growing up in Kansas City, I knew who Mike Garrett and Lenny Dawson were, long before I knew Diana Ross and the Supremes. I learned to like “Gunsmoke” because my choices were limited and I was generally out numbered.

I survived until my sister came some 11 years later, in a completely different geographical area, but she arrived just the same. Oddly enough by the time she and I came to know one another, I had already met two ladies that would become a part of my life and remain there. Barring some  periods of separations we managed to reconnect. During the separation another lifelong “sister-friend” came into my life and since the day we met only distance has come between us. When distance kept me from my west coast lifelines, one was literally dropped in front of me to keep me going here in the south. Confident and feeling like there was no more room or need for another “sister-friend”, and seriously not thinking about it, one came from out-of-the-blue. There are others;  diverse, special and unique in independent ways, I do not need to name names. We women know that there is a sisterhood among us that defies bloodlines. We know what it is to connect, I believe it is cosmic and it is Divine.

We have gone to school together, graduated together and we have worked together. We  have thrown parties and showers for one another. We were in each others weddings. We attended births of our respective children, we are the guardians and godmothers of these same children; and when one of us looses a loved one we are there sharing in that loss feeling the pain, but giving the kind of support that we have come to know. When you cross the milestone birthdays, the major events in your life and the same names, faces, individuals seem to always be there; you know you are blessed. Friends for life is not to be taken lightly.

Reminiscent of lionesses in the wild, we co-exist as a unit. Caring for one another and our young alike, major difference being we do not share our mates. The human, civil, genuine parts of us takes over in this respect.  We have survived a lot, we have survived it all. Today I wanted to take time out and give tribute to these wonderful ladies that fall into this category, in my life. They know who they are and they know I love them. Whether we see one another every day or a few times a year, we somehow pick-up where we left off.  When we part it is NOT “I will see you later”, it IS “I will see you forever”.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , , ,
29 Mar 2013
1 Comment

Kimba and Lambchop

March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Is this a meteorological reference to climate, or is the reference to another type of climate.The title references two animal characters from my childhood, some of you may remember them as well. They lived and represented two very different ways of life. One charged with being in charge, responsible and independent, the other sweet, cute, witty and co-dependent.

I have been blogging like crazy this month and now as the end of the month approaches, it feels like I am running low. I don’t feel particularly exhausted, but things have been challenging. To be honest, I have been battling the lion most of the month. I am amazed I had presence of thought to write anything. As the month ends, I anxiously welcome the departure of March. Hold on though, because this also earmarks the end of the first quarter of the year. The year I hoped would be exemplary.. has been far from that. The thought of it/things slowing down no way, coming up to speed in order to catch up on these three months of lackluster is more of what I have in mind. No room for the sedate lamb here, or is there? After almost an entire quarter of turmoil, a dose of peaceful would be welcome.

The picture of peace, the one where the lion and lamb are resting together in paradise, comes to my mind. This is a very beautiful yet sobering thought. With the holiest of days rapidly approaching, slowing down to enjoy the calmer side of life is very appealing and very necessary.

Posted in Quickbits and tagged , ,

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