hafacenturyncounting

Motivated by a lack of material.

Archive for the tag “honesty”

07 Oct 2015

T.H.I.N.K.

I saw this on a team message board on my moonlighting job. That job needs  to be as inspirational and motivating as possible. I am grateful for it none-the-less. So after once again being human and flawed I am inspired to write about one of my many, many, many flubs. I hope it will help someone else and perhaps myself do what my title suggests, but that does not necessarily mean anyone will in fact have to change.

“Before you speak THINK

Is it True

Is it Helpful

Is it Inspiring

Is it Necessary

Is it Kind”

Imagine a society of political correctness; nothing out of order, no one offended, facts to the point concise and non controversial. Well it certainly would keep us from being offended, but would it truly keep us correct?

There are some things we need to know. They are not all pleasant. They may pierce a bit but if they are helpful, if we allow ourselves to gain something of value from them, we are better for that information and the surface hurt can be put aside. Remember “The Emperor’s New Clothes”?The  Emperor was so “wrapped up” in looking good he was easily deceived into believing almost anything, including invisible garments.

In our imaginary-politically-correct perfect society we are addressing being able to say something, anything that is not absolutely nice. Why is that? That is because even in the fantasy of perfection we cannot deny that which is real.  How can we exclude the need to be made aware of something that is not-so-nice? We realize that in process we would eliminate our ability to appreciate that which is nice.

Therefore, I encourage you to THINK before you speak, I encourage you to listen but THINK about what was said, and finally I say consider the source.

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05 May 2014

It’s The People

No matter how you approach it, no matter what time of day it is, there is always drama. What scenario in your life comes to mind? My suggestion to you would be run away from it, because the reality of it is this is outside your realm of control.

The minute you walk through the door you get a headache, you wake up and there is this sickening feeling is in  the pit of your stomach, no matter how you prepare for class you always seem lost; okay work, home, and school are all places we all can relate to but if you think of bad feelings first when you are there  you might want to consider the “people factor”.

What is a place four walls, a ceiling, a floor, and a door. Perhaps it is the great outdoors, with the majestic mountain views or a seascape which takes your breath away, how is it a place can make you feel any particular way? What about that human being sharing a space, with his or her bad attitude that can make the paint appear to be peeling from those very same walls or place storm clouds in your view. Homo sapiens, the top of the food chain but often the morals and ethics of the amoeba.

Today though I only left my house briefly, I had my fill of the people. This isn’t a fair statement for it was  not people in their entirety just a small cross-section, but a cross-section that invaded my space none-the-less, and they were not invited in nor were they welcome. I wanted to tell them, ” get out! go away!” However, the space they trespassed upon was in my mind.

In all honesty I enjoy people; they are beautiful,  fascinating, funny and interesting. Then there are..the others… the ones who cut you off ( in traffic, in the middle of a statement), the ones who play their incredibly annoying music too loud in the middle of the night, the ones who don’t do their work so it has a direct affect on what your workload is like, the ones who tell you “their kids would NEVER do anything wrong” and how could you question their integrity here considering the child came from parents who are rude-self-absorbed- 5150- pricks.

They are in the stores and coffee houses, they travel on the roads in cars and bikes, they are in the doctor’s office and in church . They look like you and me but they house a secret.

I will not tell you how I  truly feel; one should have to be challenged with a battery of psychological tests, apply to obtain a license, and if successful there, they must have a child before the expiration date of those same prerequisites. Then it may appear as though I am trying to run too many people’s lives. However, I do believe we are all boarder line crazy and for us to reproduce without making others aware, is just criminal. I live next door to a guy who upon meeting him you would say, ” Wow, it is tragic that the abortion failed”.

As I bring this piece to a close, I sit in my home listening to  a 40 year old man who lives in the basement of his mother’s house;  he is dirty, unshaven, has a sour disposition, and he is a hoarder. He is utilizing his weed blower to disturb me and my family any way he can, because I called the police  on him for blasting his music earlier in the day. I am further convinced I am right,” It is the People“.

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01 May 2014

Do You Have A Safe Place For A Secret

We think we keep these secret feelings and thoughts hidden. Tread lightly on these beliefs; the way you feel often is all over your face and you are thinking,”No one has any idea how I feel”.  I have found out on more than one occasion, my acting skills are limited. I think I make an honest effort to conceal contempt I have for certain individuals, but I know that my efforts aren’t always enough. Then I start questioning the sincerity of the effort. How hard do we really work at keeping things hidden?

Truth is difficult at times but just examine the complexities of what you believe started out as a “little-white-lie”. I do not believe we are being honest with ourselves when we pack things away so no one else can see them.

I visited this thought in relation to the animal kingdom. Dogs sometimes bury their bones, this happened more frequently when  our animals stayed outside; now they do like we do, if it is a toy they care a great deal about it is with them constantly, or put away in a closet, under a bed, etc. Your pet puts his “favorite” away for safe keeping so no one else can have it, yet when he feel the need for it, he goes and gets it from the hiding place and flaunts it right in front of you. One might say this is mimicked behavior and that is a possibility. One more example I will offer is the squirrel. I watched one in my yard running around and darting about one afternoon, it was strange because there was a large orange tabby laying in the bushes waiting for an opportunity.. After a bit he came up with an acorn. The little guy had hidden it away and was scrounging about trying to find it. He had no idea when he tucked it away for safe keeping he would be putting his life in danger when he went back. Rather symbolic here.

I submit to you that our secrets are sometimes little badges of honor, we keep them around to pull out at random times to relive something we no longer are privy to. This is defying their very existence, for a secret is something you keep hidden. What about it though, do you have letters, picture, notes, or emails hidden away? Is there a lock on your phone or a box somewhere, so certain information cannot be accessed by “anyone”.  Listen if you are not tech savvy you are fooling only one person, and as for the other aspect what happens if one of those items falls out of it’s secret hiding place?

Do we entertain consequence when we place these things in an out of the way location? What if we forget it like the little squirrel or chose to bring it out for attention or to tease like the dog?  How safe is your secret now?Does such a place exist anywhere? When do we begin to feel the need to hide things and to whose benefit is this practice? What is it that you are hiding in your secret place, and is it really safe?

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06 Mar 2014
2 Comments

Sorry To Disappoint You But…

I suppose I am not only confused, I am equally confusing.  If you have ever had your proverbial coattail pulled, you will be able to relate. You have to be able to bare your soul to those you call family and friends, but then the realization comes to you in an unexpected form, that maybe you need to keep a little of that soul covered for the sake of all concerned.

On this journey called life we encounter a vast variety of experiences that we sometimes have to come to grips with; we lived through them, but did not necessarily conquer them. The appearance of” being on top” for example can be deceiving and therefore gives off an illusion. You don’t mean to trick or fool those close to you, but they can easily be convinced of things merely because they want them to be true. Expectations are high, you don’t want to disappoint, but at some point in time you must face facts and so must those you are closest to.

Flawed, imperfect, weak, and devoid of solution you cower in your little corner waiting for someone to pick you up and carry you to safety, even if you have historically been the one doing the picking up. This now must be coupled with the knowledge your cries as well as your crisis went unnoticed. It is so difficult to carry so much and not complain. Honestly, it takes a lot to carry loads and complain. Understand as let down as you feel that”rock”, you thought you knew, is experiencing the backlash of what you feel and placing the additional burden upon themselves of “I should have been better“.

The problem with a “rock” is that the tough exterior is porous, this means the damage comes over time from something penetrating and seeping in. Conditions, just like climate, change and eventually the “rock” cracks; it is weakened now no longer able to withstand what it used to, finally  the crack will break the “rock”. Though it may take a long time and the outward appearance does not change much internal changes are taking place.

“Those things that do not kill us make us strong”. However, strong people get taken advantage of as much as the weak ones do.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged ,
11 Jun 2013

All Us In Wander Land

There is tremendous stock placed in having a plan. Plan for  your future, plan for your business, plan for life. To succeed you must have a systematic map set in place. However, it doesn’t always go like that. We do not control all the other elements that may or may not affect our plans. What happens then when something gets in your way and alters the course of action/plan you derived? Better yet what happens when you don’t even have a plan.

Wandering aimlessly through life, you just may bump into something that will carry you  through to a meaningful existence. I do not by any means suggest this method, this is merely an observation. I can think of a time  or times when I really had no idea what to do next. What did I do? I improvised. Our society seems ill-equipped to handle surprises or to seek an alternate solution, because we are so busy looking for the easy way out. The fastest, simplest, least challenging way to obtain anything, that’s what we want. Oh but now it needs to be quality. Yes I am over simplifying this however, there are some truths hidden in this wit.

What to do when faced with a dilemma that you have no way to conquer. You do not have the knowledge you, do not have the resources. What you have is the awareness that you cannot see your way clear. You also may be painfully aware that you are tired of the battle. Children wish their problems away, adults face their problems; they have no choice, but oh how they wish for the child’s solution/escape clause. Draw upon that which you KNOW you have and see what you come up with, then maybe you will have some good solid advice to share with someone else wondering about, searching for a solution or purpose. Trust me on this, the answer is there you just have to discover it. Therefore, I’ll let you know how I make out.

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31 May 2013

Eulogy

We are here today to lay to rest this love. It was a love that was thought to be infinite and ever enduring. However over the years it has suffered miserably.

As it lays silently before you it is impossible to forget how vibrant it once was. Filled with fun, excitement, and passion.  You could not wait to be in this loves’ presence, and moments after you parted you missed it as though years had passed. The only thing that kept you going was anticipation of your next encounter. You recall cool moonlit nights, warm breezy afternoons, and early mornings with love that would take you through the day.

Then it began to fade;  the onset of its death was painful, but as time went on it became terribly predictable. At first it hurt, then it became routine, soon you couldn’t even tell whether or not any life was left. What was most tragic is when the finality of it all took place you didn’t feel a thing, not even a flutter. Now that is gone the most significant thing about it in your mind is that it is dead. Therefore, as you lay it to rest this day the kindest thing you can do is  to say “good-bye”.

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20 May 2013
3 Comments

Obligied

How far should we take an obligation? What are the rules? The answers lie within I suppose. Speaking from experience I can tell you these feeling of responsibility are deep seeded, and can lead to years of complicated emotions. You  do grow tired after a while. What may have began as well meaning, can turn to resentment and regret.

There you sit with a self-prophesying reality and it is pretty amazing, or is it. You authored this contract, you made the terms and conditions. Face it you must live up to these things or back out and abandon them.

There are so many hard things to face when dealing with obligation; one thing one must explore and admit to is that there is a factor of care and concern. No individual who has not vested these things will bother living up to an obligation. There has to be something that is in it for them and it may not be anything simple. We may be hopeful that people have a sense of honor, but contracts give you a way out.  There is an escape clause. You do not have a long time to change your mind, but you do have an option.

The most significant characteristic of an obligation is a very simple basic thing; it is generally the right thing to do. Yet we all know that we do not always want to do the right thing. Sometimes we prefer to sit back and “let the chips fall where they may”; nice escape route and you can tell yourself that it wasn’t your fault, it just happened. Sometimes, we feel vindicated or justified in doing the wrong thing for the so-called right reasons. However, here is some truth for you  it is never the wrong decision to do the right thing.

One has to learn to live with oneself , when you get to where you can lie and deceive your very being, you will also find that you do not like yourself very much and would rather not be in this type of company. So tread lightly when it comes to obligations and do what is right, in the long run you will find yourself fulfilled. That in itself is invaluable.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , ,
07 May 2013
1 Comment

A Boat Load Of Regrets

I short “No Regrets” was the comment I got from one of my readers. I loved the entire comment though. It is nice when people read you and have something  to say. This reader is a friend and on more than one occasion has inspired a piece or two. As a special note there are a number of my friends and family who get me to thinking, thus a blog appears. However, don’t look for yourself in my writing I value you far too much to put YOU specifically out here on the information highway without consulting or even warning you first. Remember the catch word here is INSPIRE.  Also “Boat” was not the word I wanted to use in the title  either.

Keeping the tempo of this “up” and holding the attention of my readers is very important. I do not want to become predictable, for I know you will loose interest rapidly. Yet in being real, I am NOT “Polly Sunshine”. I try not to be a fatalist and if I had to characterize myself I would say I’m a realist. I had a rough week and it took its toll on my weekend, my precious-longed for weekend. The collection of disasters had me looking back, trying to make sense of it all, I found myself lost in the sea of disdain with you-know-what, and I was sinking fast.

We are not alone is these human feelings and emotions. We are all simply trying to explain ourselves to a better place. Words you would have said, turns you should have taken roads you should have traveled. Lest we forget how much time we would like to retrieve. Boat Load of Regrets, No Regrets the only thing that actually has a marked change is your perspective.

In closing I got quite a surprising laugh as the events of the week and weekend were recounted. In a relaxed moment with yet another disaster averted, it was quipped as follows; “Yeah I thought things couldn’t get any worse and then the roof fell in”. Well that actually happened; we lived to tell about it, fixed it, and yes somehow managed to get a chuckle out of it all.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged ,
25 Apr 2013
1 Comment

Clean Up Your Act

Cleaning; not a subject I am particularly fond of nor do I have a deep seeded hatred for. However, I am quite good at it.

I have to confess I did get into the business from a “need” inspired place. I had been exposed to this particular vocation since childhood. It was not something I imagined doing, that is until I would get quite aggravated while working in the administrative aspect of the Postal Service. Then I would both sarcastically and jokingly say, “Can’t I have a stress free job like the custodian.”

At the risk of having customer former or present read this piece I will be very cautious.  Never would I  point out an individual in a forum such as this, I am far too conflict oriented( I know what I am saying) for that. I would much rather confront you face-to-face. I am not trying to provide competition with strategy. Yet I do not mind giving out a little information that might help someone. All of these suggestions work/have applicable ideas for the provider and the customer.

If you are looking for someone to provide you with a cleaning service be very specific; either they will do what you want or not. Don’t get trapped in/bogged down with assumptions, this will keep you(the customer) from being disappointed and the service provider from being unhappy as well. Sometimes you can ask for addition services that either will be provided at a cost or even given if the provider is aware of the want/need at the time.  Communication is paramount. Ultimately, you want a relationship that is mutually beneficial.

Don’t be cheap. Licenses, bonds, insurance cost; if you risk having someone come into your home or place of business without these be aware you may get off cheaper initially, but in the long run bad service, damaged items, missing effects… what did you really save. You do get what you pay for, especially if you do as previously stated. If you have a price in mind share it. This does not suggest you will get the price, but perhaps you will gain understanding as to why what you want is/is not possible from a particular provider. You may be able to negotiate better.

Do not mix up services. If you want someone as a housekeeper  look for a housekeeper. If you want a maid look for a maid. The job descriptions are similar but not the same. That being said you cannot expect a housekeeper to do your laundry or your dishes, unless you discussed and agreed to this prior. Pick up your place so the service provider can clean what actually needs cleaning. If you need an organizer then look for one of those. You waste time and resources not taking these steps. If your housekeeper has to sift through piles of clothes in order to vacuum, either the floor will not be vacuumed or your fee is going to go up.  If you have stacks of dishes in the sink and no room in the dishwasher, there are a variety of end results that could occur. YOU will be unhappy in either case.

Therefore, try this; be upfront and honest, communicate your wants and needs, make no assumptions. When you the customer/service provider do these things the expectation is realistic and generally will be met.  End result, mutually beneficial.

Posted in As Consumers and tagged ,
20 Apr 2013
1 Comment

The Way I See It

GreatExpectations; This is not a typo this is the way I think this feeling I am wanting to express should be conveyed singular and large. After waking up a 4 A.M inflection and self-discovery was on my mind.

I am a morning person, but there is something terribly wrong about getting up when it is still dark. I have gone through periods where my sleep pattern seemed to be altering itself. I also do need some alone time, I believe writers need this time for clear uninterrupted thoughts. Good luck with this if you have a cat.

I spent some time surfing the internet and listening to music. I saw a couple of things I felt were speaking to me directly. It felt like , when you go to church and the message the minister is conveying  is JUST about you or directed at you.

I wanted to dance, but I have no rhythm.  Was is unreasonable to  expect you to teach me or even know I wanted to learn? I am overweight, the diets have failed. Why haven’t you encouraged me to get fit? I want to make love. When are you going to touch me? GreatExpectations.

Is there no end to the arrogance of man? Note,”man” NOT A MAN.  I ask because of the thought “he who has done great things”, does not necessarily make him great and the perception should not be as such. Perhaps answering some basic questions can answer questions for you, yourself. One must learn to take ones accomplishments in stride. You must realize that you are only a portion of any one thing you do achieve or fail to achieve. I am not undermining or understating that which you have accomplished which is good, but there have been some pitfalls alongside the win-falls. Therefore the defeats must be given the same consideration.Thus taking things in stride.

Varying degrees and levels, varying strengths and weaknesses, yet we expect things to turn out our way, the right way as we see it. If you experience something difficult and you survive it, then you see someone else with the same challenge in their life, but they are not having the success you did, what thought comes to you first? Success or failure you have to take the outside forces into account. None of us has or is a “cure all”. Remember this next time you prepare to “dive into a situation and become aware that you have no oxygen tank”.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , ,

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