hafacenturyncounting

Motivated by a lack of material.

05 May 2013
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Taking It Slow

If you have ever done something you are not quite proud of, if you have ever wronged someone, if you have ever asked for forgiveness, struggle with me though this for a minute or two. What if YOU believe you have actually NOT done anything wrong and were justified in your actions, but time has soften you to the point where there is a willingness to talk, a willingness be approached.

This is not going to be very long, I think because uncomfortable things have tendency to make you squirm and give off the feeling of”I need to break and run”. No exceptions taken here. Whatever category you fit in, I think the most important thing you can do is have no expectations. The only thing you have control over in these situations is YOU. Therefore,  if you are honest with yourself, you are going to have to understand where you are, may not be where the other person is at this particular point in time.

If you are one of those “sensitive types” like myself, YOU are only willing to be vulnerable for really short periods. Speaking from experience I know that being sensitive, as far as oneself is concerned, does not always translate as sensitivity towards other, and that is especially true in the situations we are touching on. Also, being sensitive affords you the ability to know how to be cruel and vicious. While we all are capable of this, “sensitive” people cut to the bone and then they turn the knife blade. All the more reason understanding “you factor” is paramount here.

Now lets go over this in order for YOU to get it.YOU don’t get the control. YOU don’t get to direct, all YOU get to do is to participate and YOU only get to take part, when it is determined by someone else along with YOU, it is alright to do so. Sometimes YOU do have to leave well-enough, alone.

Posted in Quickbits and tagged , ,
05 May 2013

HAIKU and Grapefruits

This may seem random and perhaps that is because it is.

During my quiet time, I visit with words. I came across “HAIKU” in an email from a writer friend. I am not admittedly the most avid reader, although I love light research. In short I would have to be characterized as a writer who does not read a great deal. Poetry is an aspect of writing that I enjoy reading far more than I do writing it. I missed “HAIKU”. Well upon research I found out the history, saw examples, and was so enamored with it I bothered downloading a book on the subject. I may actually try my hand at “HAIKU” in the near future. Feels fun.

The grapefruit came for a more primitive place, I was eating one. For years I have enjoyed grapefruits especially the ruby red variety. I was familiar with it as a source of vitamin C and association with weight loss programs, this particular morning I was eating with intent to reap benefits from both of these known attributes. I had a Dr. Seuss moment”, “Why do they  it a grapefruit?” I mean it doesn’t look like a grape, it doesn’t taste like a grape the only shared quality I knew of was the squirt factor and for that matter all of the citrus fruits had that ability. Maybe it was color, like the orange, but then what about the lemon or the lime? I figured I would run across some long forgotten fact from a science class in my past.

After we covered the kingdom, species, order, genus and family, after I read who discovered it and where. Even after I knew which country produces the largest amount of grapefruits, I did discover why they are called grapefruits.  I now know it reacts and affects the metabolism of 85 different drugs. For on top of not being an avid reader I am clearly and unconventional one. In my search I fully expected to see “the reason they are called grapefruits is…” in boldface-red italics. What I got was”they grow in clusters like grapes”. This allowed me to practically overlook the very piece of information I was in fact seeking. Perhaps grapefruit will the subject of my first “HAIKU”.

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03 May 2013
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Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

Tell me lies… can you hear Stevie Nicks’ voice? I remember that Fleetwood Mac Album and I say remember like I don’t have it, although I do. I haven’t played it in years and why should. I basically I can go to youtube, pull the song I want to hear up, and move on. If it strikes a chord in my soul I will go and play it on the stereo.

Music transports us to the places we have been and the places we want to be. Time is meaningless and virtually stands still. Our fabulous musicians say what we want to say and give our words such a beautiful melodic translation; in spite of the fact the words we are hearing belong to them, at the time. It doesn’t take away from the fact that we are feeling those same words.

Alright, how about a little bit on “pillow talk” and how the sweet little lies get tangled up in these conversations. I spoke to an “authority” and he shared his wonderful insight. He says he is being kind. Naturally, I want further explanation. There you are somewhere between dawn and daylight something makes you aware of the other soul close enough to touch and perhaps you are actually touching.  Your eyes meet, you cannot look away or roll over, you may want to but that just wouldn’t be right. A smile may be enough but that mouth of yours takes over… How many times has “I love you” or “You are so beautiful” slipped through because of the awkward moment. Then once you’ve said it no matter how you want to escape you know you have dug yourself a deeper grave.

Sometimes the silence is deafening and therefore in these instances it may seem that there is call for the lies. Resist, smile, and rub  your companions shoulders instead.  If you do you may face the same dilemma later, and perhaps you will then be better equipped.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , ,
03 May 2013

My May Flowers

Well I am looking forward to seeing what May has to bring/to share with us. We are having a rather mild transition into summer here in Georgia. While I am aware that it has only been 2 days as I write this; I am happy and hoping this is  an indicator that we will now have the mild, humidity free summers like California…. yeah a “pipe dream” I will enjoy it while it lasts.

May is a month of firsts and lasts(so far) for me, they are all very sweet memories. Late spring that generally feels like summer; the summertime memories from the “summertime of my life” is my summation in regards to the month of May.

I have a niece who is growing up, she is turning 12. My poor sister, her daughter is “moments” away from being a teenager. However along with the dread of seeing your child, your baby transitioning into the grown-up person they will ultimately be, you must take note of the wonder you have been allowed to experience along the way. However, she is “My May Flower bud”.

Another sign of summer is the May celebration of Cinco De Mayo. As self-respecting Southern Californian I cannot ignore this day. Although it has little to do with Southern California, other than tacos and margaritas, which I plan to partake of.  For a real history tidbit this celebration is about The Battle of Puebla, a battle had it gone the other way could have greatly affected the outcome of the Civil War.

We have to touch on Mother’s Day and while I am fairly certain I will have an entire blog about mothers, I never miss an opportunity to acknowledge moms since their “day” falls in the confines of this month. Therefore I offer the following; don’t forget the date but take time to love and honor her everyday, not just the one talked about during May.

If I suffered from triskaidekaphobia there are a couple of individuals, who have been in my life, that I would be better served on some levels had they remained an enigma. Even though I smile as I say that I would have to ask myself, “Why do I even talk to _____ ?” Instead I find myself saying, as I nod in affirmation, “No wonder I talk to ______.” They are “My May Flowers in full blooms”.

Two days into the month of May and I see a strange welcomed weather change, a family member transitioning to another phase of life, Cinco De Mayo, and a couple of very attractive memories. That doesn’t even take us to mid-month, but I will stop here. So Happy Birthday Bryanna,  Feliz Cinco De Mayo, Mother’s Day,  and an honorable mention for May 13th!  I think “My May Flowers” are going to make one heck of a bouquet.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , | Leave a comment
02 May 2013
2 Comments

All I Need Is A Miracle

If this thought ever occurs to you realize that your very existence qualifies, and be about you Father’s business.

In the throws of confusion and certain catastrophe one is hard pressed to gather themselves up and have a pep-talk, but that is exactly what I am going to suggest here. I am not just writing it I and hoping to live this as well.

I searched through places that I had been, not just physically but mentally. Having a relatively quiet childhood because I had two parents that clearly made me feel safe, I continued my search. As with most I found the turmoil I searched for in my teens, from there it was easy.When you stray from your comfort zone, either through growth or rebellion, there will be disquiet.

However, as I visited these places I had to come to grips with the fact I had survived each of these things that were “Earthshaking” at the time. I didn’t know how I had gotten through them. The truth is I did/do know; but as fast as I put them behind me, I put them out of my mind.  I forgot them because I wanted to.

Over the years I have heard different people say things like “God moves in mysterious ways” or “God allows things to happen to you so that when you are saved/rescued you will know it was Him”. I submit this though; God does so many things for so many of us that these very same things are often overlooked and thought of as minor. These “little miracles” are chocked up to something else, they become commonplace and expected.

The next time you look into the eyes of someone you love, and I mean look deep into those eyes not just at them, let this be a reminder that God is providing you with your personal miracle and thank him for that.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged
01 May 2013
4 Comments

So A Man Thinketh

My father who I loved dearly, who was a tremendous man, used to tell me this very thing when I was down on myself. I rarely listened, I don’t even think I was able to grasp what he was in fact saying to me on the slightest level. I thought he was being kind and obligatory. I did not see what he saw.

I don’t want to make my blog all about me, but I cannot completely avoid interjecting me in some places. I realize that the thoughts, ideas, and experiences of life are shared ones. Sometimes we all need the same type of reminders. Sometimes we need someone to pull us back and anchor us into place.

God is that which we need. He is all that we need, but He goes a step further, He provides us with others to help us in ways that we do not even realize. We look up and there is a solution, we look up and there is a comforter, we look up and there is a provider. The key here is, that we look up.

Dove did an experiment on a group of women, it was a venture into self discovery. This experiment was all about how we see ourselves in comparison to how others see us. When these women were asked to describe themselves they first talked about what they didn’t have or what wasn’t so good. Then these same women were described by other people who had just met them but asked to spend time with them and get to know them. The results were astonishing, yet I could not help but wonder what would have happened if Dove had gotten people who actually knew and cared about the women. God sees us as we can be, as He knows we can be.  Therefore what He is seeing is what we are.He doesn’t look at us for our imperfections for they are many. When He sees us He see beauty, tenderness , compassion, kindness. He sees love. He sees this through a father’s eyes. So A Man Thinketh….

My father who I loved dearly, who was a tremendous man, used to tell his beloved daughter this very thing when she was down on herself. Though she heard, she rarely listened. I don’t even think she was able to grasp what he was, in fact, saying to her on the slightest level. She thought he was being kind and obligatory. She didn’t know or understand what a beautiful gift she had been given, when our Heavenly Father gave her to him. She did not know what a beautiful gift her father saw, that his Heavenly Father had given to him.

Don’t be so hard on yourself, believe in yourself, strive to be what God sees. If you don’t make it, know He loves you anyway. In His eyes you are perfect.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged , ,
30 Apr 2013
2 Comments

Summary Of A Love Gone Wrong

Oh God why am I cursed with this man. He is a plague in my life. I wrench at the sound of his voice. He has selective amnesia. He does not care for me and I am okay with that now. Now all I want is to be at peace. I fear there will be no peace in my life as long as he is in my life. He cares only for himself. Why won’t you let him be happy. Why can’t he can be with the one he loves, HIMSELF. I have been a good wife to him, I have been far better than he deserves. I have been wronged in this relationship and the contagion of wrong doing has thus infected me. Please Lord, make this situation right. Please

What does he think when he looks at me. What does he think when I  show him  little affection? Does it make him feel small and hurt, like it used to do me? I hope he does feel bad at times, I wish for him to have that same disconnect that he gave to me. Then other times, most times, all I want is to be able to walk away and know I did the best I could for as long as I could, and all that was/is required of me has been satisfied.

Looking back I have a boat-load of regrets. I thought he cared, I thought he could make me happy, I thought we would be good together. I was so wrong. We had a fun time and I should have left it at that. There were so many times  I should have stopped, but I did not.

Lord please help me get back to me. Let me enjoy my children and grandchildren. Let him enjoy his life, but not with me. I know better than ever I am NOT what he wants or what can make him happy nor is he those things for me. Everyone deserves some happy.

I no longer want the love from him that I “pined away” for at one time. I want to be me again. He sees glimpses of me and he clearly dislikes that person. Too bad he didn’t see her long before now, too bad I did not let some of my desires come forth and be seen. I could have saved us both a whole lot of grief. There I go again taking on the full responsibility for a situation that was clearly involving the two of us.

He says, “You want out?” I lie and say,” No”.

Posted in Fictional Accounts and tagged
30 Apr 2013

Looks Matter?

The thought of this made me smile. I truly, truly appreciate beauty. The good Lord has provided us all with an array of nice things to look at from stunning seascapes to beautiful faces.

Yet in the wake of failed relationships, where the obvious prerequisites were met, the idea of a beautiful mind is very appealing. In the place where breathtaking good looks is replaced with engaging conversation. One substitutes deep soulful eyes and they are  now interchangeable with intriguing ideas. The cute button nose you so admire takes the form of quick wit. The fantastic physique gives way to solemn comforting thoughts.

I found myself captivated by words and thought patterns that made me stop and grab each word. I dissect the ideas placed before me. Now my mind is experiencing joy and ecstasy with the same intense forces as my physical body has. My mind hungers for more. Yet another growing pain, in yet another form. Brad has been replaced by Albert…. well not quite.

As time goes on we gain a clearer understanding of ourselves and those we relate to, but our ability to convey thoughts and feelings sometimes get lost in the translation. You can find yourself in a “no man’s land” with someone who you thought you knew.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but intelligence is a matter of fact. It is time to dig into something more solid and substantial.

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27 Apr 2013
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It’s All About “ME”

The title implies, that is which  is true. Call me selfish, because that is exactly what I am.  I am also a deceptive being who hides behind things; my feelings and emotions lurk just below the surface, yet a very primitive thing gives me away, The Look Upon My Face.

When you raise a family your obligation is to them first and foremost.  However, as time goes on things progress and suddenly everyone is an adult and they are living their life, now there is you left. Maybe you missed your chance earlier in life for that self-discovery. It is not too late.

I suggested to my children they live alone before the responsibilities  of  being a spouse and father took over in their lives. I think everyone needs to try to get to know “self” first. I did this and my time as a single adult was a happy time. However, I have come to realize that the individual I came to know and like quite a lot, was not a person who would fit into my current living condition. Being alone does not teach you to share and put any need above your very own. In the real world there are going to be others around you. Never before has “No man is an island” held more true.

Lately, I have been on a mission to get into a condition that I feel is more palatable to “ME”. I feel closer than ever to attaining that goal, and I do attribute it to the fact that I am allowing myself to do something for “ME”. “Rock Hard Abs” here I come. Pictures to follow!

In closing I want to caution you against going too far in the other direction in your quest to care for  and/or love your individual “ME”. Do not become obsessive in this new self love; follow this rule as always “nothing to excess everything in moderation” and you cannot go wrong.

 
Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , ,
25 Apr 2013
1 Comment

Clean Up Your Act

Cleaning; not a subject I am particularly fond of nor do I have a deep seeded hatred for. However, I am quite good at it.

I have to confess I did get into the business from a “need” inspired place. I had been exposed to this particular vocation since childhood. It was not something I imagined doing, that is until I would get quite aggravated while working in the administrative aspect of the Postal Service. Then I would both sarcastically and jokingly say, “Can’t I have a stress free job like the custodian.”

At the risk of having customer former or present read this piece I will be very cautious.  Never would I  point out an individual in a forum such as this, I am far too conflict oriented( I know what I am saying) for that. I would much rather confront you face-to-face. I am not trying to provide competition with strategy. Yet I do not mind giving out a little information that might help someone. All of these suggestions work/have applicable ideas for the provider and the customer.

If you are looking for someone to provide you with a cleaning service be very specific; either they will do what you want or not. Don’t get trapped in/bogged down with assumptions, this will keep you(the customer) from being disappointed and the service provider from being unhappy as well. Sometimes you can ask for addition services that either will be provided at a cost or even given if the provider is aware of the want/need at the time.  Communication is paramount. Ultimately, you want a relationship that is mutually beneficial.

Don’t be cheap. Licenses, bonds, insurance cost; if you risk having someone come into your home or place of business without these be aware you may get off cheaper initially, but in the long run bad service, damaged items, missing effects… what did you really save. You do get what you pay for, especially if you do as previously stated. If you have a price in mind share it. This does not suggest you will get the price, but perhaps you will gain understanding as to why what you want is/is not possible from a particular provider. You may be able to negotiate better.

Do not mix up services. If you want someone as a housekeeper  look for a housekeeper. If you want a maid look for a maid. The job descriptions are similar but not the same. That being said you cannot expect a housekeeper to do your laundry or your dishes, unless you discussed and agreed to this prior. Pick up your place so the service provider can clean what actually needs cleaning. If you need an organizer then look for one of those. You waste time and resources not taking these steps. If your housekeeper has to sift through piles of clothes in order to vacuum, either the floor will not be vacuumed or your fee is going to go up.  If you have stacks of dishes in the sink and no room in the dishwasher, there are a variety of end results that could occur. YOU will be unhappy in either case.

Therefore, try this; be upfront and honest, communicate your wants and needs, make no assumptions. When you the customer/service provider do these things the expectation is realistic and generally will be met.  End result, mutually beneficial.

Posted in As Consumers and tagged ,

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