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Archive for the tag “perceptions”

27 Jul 2013
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The Birth Of A Prince(or Princess)

Such a special occasion, a time of celebration and excitement. The fact that you are there makes it that much more cherished. After months of waiting, hours of labor finally this tiny helpless being arrives. He arrives unaware that there are millions anticipating, for all he needs is the love and comfort of two. As they gather to get a first glimpse of a face that is going to change so much in the days to come, his appearance is admired by his awestruck parents who find him simply perfect. No truer words were ever spoken than when the Duchess of Cambridge offered,” Any family knows how we feel”. Profound, no but it was refreshing to see a side of so-called ROYALTY that was just normal and human.

Here we are at the threshold or even in the throws of our new stage of parenting; grandparents. We anticipate their arrival from the time they enter the world, to the weekly visits and overnight adventures. We watch closely and contribute our knowledge and experience to our children regarding their upbringing, where requested and allowed. Sometimes even when our pearls of wisdom are not so welcomed, we offer them anyway. We adore these little beings of whom we are free to love and spoil, but send home for the “hard stuff”. Charmed and beloved, they are our little princes and princesses.

As you travel into this wondrous land which may require you to be in the public eye, be mindful and careful that all who encounter your little angel(s) may not recognize who they clearly are to you. Remember you have the benefit of being an insider, you have known them from the start and what you see is the whole picture not a momentary temper tantrum.

During those less than pleasant times all others will see is yet another spoiled brat misbehaving. Expect nothing more than that. Try not to impose upon others and in turn you can enjoy time with “your little royals” in a calm leisurely manner. The most important lesson you can learn is this; the next time you see a little one writhing on the floor in your favorite department store or hear a scream in a clam quiet environment,  rest assured with the knowledge there is some little prince or princess in disguise nearby and they simply forgot they were not alone.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , , ,
22 Jul 2013
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Stepping Out

Once there was a little girl who had lost her way. A kind handsome stranger saw her wandering around appearing to be lost. This gentle man went to her and made things better. He not only showed her the way she needed to go, he went along to protect her. Only after awhile it didn’t seem like they were getting to the destination, she could see it in the distance but every day as they seemingly moved closer the destination still appeared to be in the far off distance. She began to question in her mind if the kind stranger really knew the way. The paths they took started looking like roads they had gone down before. Time went on but they still did not get to where she was going. He took her to a beautiful house but once inside over time it became a cave. She could always see it was light outside, but feared what might be waiting because she had been there so long. One day she went to the door while he was sleeping, she opened it and stood there.

Are you standing on the brink of something? Do you need to take that all important move, but for one reason or another something holds you back. I think the most difficult thing to do is recognize what is missing or what needs correction/ adjustment in regards to self. Pointing that “finger of blame” is far too easy for a lot of us. A crutch does not simply support you, after a while you become dependent on it.

Many are broken and need healing, but once the healing process has taken place you have to be brave enough to test those areas, stand alone, and yes “get to steppin”.

Posted in Quickbits and tagged ,
16 Jul 2013
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XIV-Hafawhatyousee

As I move away from this case (Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman) something draws me back; the same as last year when I wrote about it initially, it feels like there is a weight on my chest.  I say what I have said in the past; Serve on jury duty, become familiar with the law(as best you can) and remember”life isn’t fair”. Just because you have the right to do/be does not necessarily mean it will be so. Unfortunate reality, so govern yourself accordingly.

This is a good place for former and current police officers(black especially) to do  more good for the community. Talk to the youth, let them hear from one who was in the trenches what is seen/perceived and  show them how to apply that information. You hate to think about a civilian taking the law into his own hands and getting away with it, but remember he was a “COP-WANNABE”, there is a difference. He wanted to be “seen”as worthy.

We as outsiders(not happy with but respectful of this verdict) have to get some solace that this is not over for George Zimmerman. State Court, Supreme Court, Magistrate Court, Court of Public Opinion (no order/relevance implied). Talk about celebrity and infamy. Zimmerman no matter what will never walk down a street, go to get a bite to eat, obtain employment without having to look over his shoulder because maybe some vigilante may decide to take the law into their own hands. For whatever he thought he saw that night in February 2012 and acted upon, this is now his reality.

The Martin family will never feel better for no court in the land, no amount of money on this planet can EVER replace what was lost, their child and they will never be able to forget that.

Then there was the case in New York 2007 John H White- a black man convicted of shooting and killing an unarmed white teenager at point-blank range. He was convicted of manslaughter. This case was racially charged and once again each side accusing the other of playing “the race card”. You can review this case on your own, but if it does nothing else it demonstrates how we, the layman public, are manipulated and fooled into believing we have a universal understand of what goes on  and where it takes place, when we are in fact only spectators and speculators.

I do not know if it has been done before, but a thought did occur to me. It was spurned by these type cases and the climate subsequent to them, and of course my friends and loved ones, who motivate me on a continuous basis. What if in court everybody looks the same when a case comes before a jury. When I say looks the same I mean everyone is intentionally made up to have the appearance of the same multi-cultural/ethnic group. If you truly intend on taking race out of an equation you have to make it so no one can put it into play in the first place.

My favorite Author John Grisham  demonstrated and characterized it best in  his book ” A Time To Kill” I will merely summarize it here; the only way justice will truly be served in cases where different races are involved is for a jury to see the individuals as they see themselves. They must be able to relate. We want  to believe we are more intelligent than that, we have moved forward, and we are sophisticated.

Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream of a country where people are NOT judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character, cannot take place if people are constantly bombarded with negative images which make them back away from opportunities to get to know a person’s character. They retreat to primitive ways and deal with what is simple; that which is right before their very eyes, an image. Yet we all have to admit there is quite a bit more to us all, than that which you see on the surface.

Our country takes a great deal of time notating the diversity of her people, but it is not always in a positive endearing light. There is pride when the Justice System is spoken of.  She smiles and boasts that she is “the land of opportunity” but what of the fine print; as long as you adhere to the preferences, visual or implied, of those who are in charge at any given time. “Equal protection under the law”, except if you look this way. I am expecting, living, reacting to that which is written and read, that which I see. America, she has grown up but she has nonetheless grown farther apart in the process.

Posted in Hafwaythroughpoints and tagged , ,
10 May 2013
4 Comments

Can’t I Just Be A Hero

Without you ridiculing me for not being able to articulate on your level. Because I am not a polished media personality, can’t you understand and appreciate the good thing I did. I am a simpler person, not in my mentality but in the complexity of my life. Yet through it all, I still managed to do something good and worth recognizing. What are you doing besides talking about what I actually did.

The next time some individual is put out there on the news who is not dressed particularly well, who does not speak with the poise and intellect that you may possess, don’t laugh or shake your head in disgust and disapproval. Look at the bigger picture and recognize the “good thing” they have done. That is what is worth noting and appreciating.

“Hat’s Off to you, Charles Ramsey”. I know at least three people who are very happy about your very presence alone. Remember folks these people that are interviewed off the street have not had the luxury of a script, three hours of make-up, and a wardrobe coordinator. They have an extraordinary experience happen to them, and it is quickly followed up with a camera and microphone SHOVED in their faces. Yes this is oversimplified, but doesn’t the media over expose the negative aspects subtly, while trying to feign a  sincere as-a-matter-of-fact tone?

Posted in Quickbits and tagged , , ,
03 May 2013

My May Flowers

Well I am looking forward to seeing what May has to bring/to share with us. We are having a rather mild transition into summer here in Georgia. While I am aware that it has only been 2 days as I write this; I am happy and hoping this is  an indicator that we will now have the mild, humidity free summers like California…. yeah a “pipe dream” I will enjoy it while it lasts.

May is a month of firsts and lasts(so far) for me, they are all very sweet memories. Late spring that generally feels like summer; the summertime memories from the “summertime of my life” is my summation in regards to the month of May.

I have a niece who is growing up, she is turning 12. My poor sister, her daughter is “moments” away from being a teenager. However along with the dread of seeing your child, your baby transitioning into the grown-up person they will ultimately be, you must take note of the wonder you have been allowed to experience along the way. However, she is “My May Flower bud”.

Another sign of summer is the May celebration of Cinco De Mayo. As self-respecting Southern Californian I cannot ignore this day. Although it has little to do with Southern California, other than tacos and margaritas, which I plan to partake of.  For a real history tidbit this celebration is about The Battle of Puebla, a battle had it gone the other way could have greatly affected the outcome of the Civil War.

We have to touch on Mother’s Day and while I am fairly certain I will have an entire blog about mothers, I never miss an opportunity to acknowledge moms since their “day” falls in the confines of this month. Therefore I offer the following; don’t forget the date but take time to love and honor her everyday, not just the one talked about during May.

If I suffered from triskaidekaphobia there are a couple of individuals, who have been in my life, that I would be better served on some levels had they remained an enigma. Even though I smile as I say that I would have to ask myself, “Why do I even talk to _____ ?” Instead I find myself saying, as I nod in affirmation, “No wonder I talk to ______.” They are “My May Flowers in full blooms”.

Two days into the month of May and I see a strange welcomed weather change, a family member transitioning to another phase of life, Cinco De Mayo, and a couple of very attractive memories. That doesn’t even take us to mid-month, but I will stop here. So Happy Birthday Bryanna,  Feliz Cinco De Mayo, Mother’s Day,  and an honorable mention for May 13th!  I think “My May Flowers” are going to make one heck of a bouquet.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , | Leave a comment
25 Apr 2013

Taboo or Wanton Desire

Naming a favorite it would probably be yellow, if I had to chose it would be something wild and  dangerously fast. My logical mind draws me back, to safe, slow, and conservative. I am none of these. I just hide the facts well. Hold on this is not what it seems to be shaping up as.

Picture a 1959 convertible Thunderbird, I know the 1958 is the year of choice but I am still enamored with all things 59.. wonder why? Plus they look basically the same. The 1995 TV movie “Sugartime” which told the store of Phyllis McGuire and Sam Giancana explains it all.

You give in to the intelligent choice. This is practical for the long term. No one in our age group wants to guess, to question, to wonder; these queries are for the young. We want to be settled, not necessary to settle. Besides for the sake of a quick fleeting enjoyment…? How many of you said “Oh HellYeah!” Congratulations, you are still alive.

A 50+ year old car, a 50+ year old woman, imagine the possibilities. I am in my element; top down, eyes hiding behind “Ray-Bans”, wind blowing in my hair, but a scarf holding it down in the top of my head and yes I am speeding just a little bit.

I was told several years ago by a friend that he pictured me in a Saab convertible. I was not particularly fond of that car, but find irony in the fact it was a convertible. What is it about me and a top down? If it is Freudian then it needs to be black and have a rack as well.. I of course mean luggage. Then I think it would actually work.

Posted in Quickbits and tagged , , | Leave a comment
23 Apr 2013
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It Feels Sorta Cosmic

I don’t know how to explain it any other way. A phone call out of the blue from someone that you have been thinking about. Meeting someone for the first time and you can talk for hours. Your lover knows you are upset with them regardless of if you said a word or not.

This may seem rather obvious, but it really isn’t how many times have you heard or been told, “I didn’t know”. I think that there is so much information readily available, subtlety is virtually unrecognizable. We have to put whatever it is we are feeling right out there. If you are shy or reserved, you may be in trouble. However, in these instances even the universe is not buying the feigned ignorance.

We truly are closer to one another than we think. Perhaps the instances I pointed out are more common or familiar among folks who are closely connected, but there are instances where the ties are more distant and there is still an unexplained connection. I think we underestimate what we as human beings mean to one another. We concentrate so heavily on the differences, that we overlook that which is right there in our faces.

I find myself slipping more and more into the mindset of the “AARP world“,  the world in which the youth  is just “totally out of it”. However, I do have to give credit where credit is due. They( our younger counterparts) have contributed  positively to our sense of self-awareness, characterized by contemporary phrase. From the generation that wanted to know, “What’s happenin” and “Can you dig it?” our children have answered with “Do you feel me?” I anticipate the time when we can answer and mean “Yeah, I feel ya“.

Posted in Epiphany and tagged , ,
17 Apr 2013
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Time In Purgatory

Not being Catholic, I believe Purgatory is among some of the most familiar concepts non-Catholics are familiar with. Now note I said familiar, NOT knowledgeable. Through time and interpretation the definition of Purgatory has changed, but in general most associate it with purification; pain and suffering on a temporary basis.

As I wrote that I allowed my mid to wander a bit briefly to a time period in which people were tortured and killed in public in the name of God? The concepts surrounding God in Christianity does address His wrath, but what on Earth ever made people think they were qualified and capable to do God’s work, when it comes to punishment. God is quite capable of handling ALL things Himself. Certainly given the nature of man he would not rely on us to handle such a thing. Man, in his ever present arrogance, decided man was capable, qualified, and he therefore acted. I will move on.

Thus, what we associate Purgatory with is what man has decided it should be. I will not get into a religious debate, I have said before I am not versed enough. I do possess a minor understanding; and can see how concepts in the wrong hands, even religious ones, can get carried away.

During an unhappy time or particularly difficult period, do you ask WHY? When you ask why, do you also provide yourself with an answer, an explanation. For if you do then you are ” treading dangerous waters”. God allows us free will, but when decision that we make do not turn out like we thought they should or were not to our liking we blame God in one way or another.

On a massive scale the idea associated with prison; the way we deal with crime and punishment, is this a distorted solution. For how many actually come away from that experience better than before? I believe you had to have good in you, but you just needed something to bring it out of you, in order to survive the ordeal and then have the desire to be new and improved.

One thing the idea of Purgatory does, is it puts you in a place that allows you to think; although I cannot and do not see how one could think or reflect in a place where pain and suffering were so great. Perhaps, the submission part is all that is needed here.

I think God wants us because he loves us, nothing more. If we examine other aspect of our humanity we are not a very good gamble. He gives us free will to do right or wrong. We are not worthy, yet he loves us anyway.  On those bad or challenging days remember this. You have the reins over your life, and what you do with this control is entirely within your power. Make your choices wisely.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged , , , , ,
10 Apr 2013

Going Round and Around

Where she stops nobody knows…It is Master’s week in Augusta, Georgia. Let me tell you it is as exciting the anticipation of a new monarch, but wait there is a monarch coming or should I say coming back. I am of course talking about Mr. Tiger Woods.

The only one on the tour to boast multiple wins this season, he comes to the years first major as the favorite to win. I want to see Tiger win Augusta this week and I want to see him go on to break Jack Nicklaus’ record and silence the critics. I still have no personal love for the fellow, but I respect the athlete.

I do want to switch reels here a bit and talk about the Masters and the legendary course which it is played at annually. Now I am a California girl through and through (never mind I was born in Kansas City,Mo.).  I don’t think any place is prettier than my claimed state, the wonderful beaches, the wonderous mountains, the deserts and forest are worthy of awe. However, since my migration south almost 20 years ago I have never seen anything as beautiful as Augusta National.

If you pull it up on the internet you see will photos  that will make you question their authenticity. Some of my clients have photos which look like paintings and it is simply the lush beauty of that place. It is arguably, the St Andrews of the U.S.A.

Build on a former Indigo Plantation (yeah of course plantation), co-founded by  golf legend Bobby Jones and racist(yes over simplified but true) Clifford Roberts both fame and infamy surround this prestigious course.

Every hole is named for a thing of beauty(Azalea, White Dogwood,etc.), a tree and a pond dedicated to President and a corner that has made the “greats” beckon to God, Almighty for favor. Yet in paying homage to its beauty, and grandeur the history of Augusta must be touched upon. I talked about the site itself being built on land and the type of establishment whose very name (plantation) constantly reminds America of injustice it saddled African Americans with. Being in the south and producing the rebellious, foul persona of “Jim Crow”; Augusta National held onto some of “his” very ideology until 1975 when Lee Elder competed there,  or was it 1990 when the FIRST African American, Ron Townsend, was permitted to join the club, no wait was it when Tiger Woods won his first Masters in 1997? I don’t know which one to cite. Let me NOT forget that they proudly allowed the first women(ooh… more than one) to join in the club 2012, talk about a time warp and living in the past.

The PGA has a lot of growing to do and it is growing slowly, but not nearly as slowly as the traditions which it holds onto favorably and embraces. I am not saying they(the PGA) condone what has gone on at Augusta, simply that there is an air of acceptance or need to excuse these behavoirs, because of these same so-called traditions.

The south has a somewhat skewed vision of what tradition means (i.e. rebel flag; heritage not hate). If you continue living you must accept the fact you must move and change with the times. As I scrolled through the photos this morning from Augusta’s Official Web Site (titled random pictures) I couldn’t help but notice that out of 236 photos only 10 of them had African Americans in them and 2 with  people of Asian descent. Now that’s diversity. I thought of how the man who co-founded the club, who I characterized as racist( Clifford Roberts), made a statement that was in essence saying that “blacks will always be caddies and whites will always be golfers on HIS course, as long as he lived”. I am thrilled he lived to see that fall apart. I also feel  sort of apathetic that he chose to commit suicide on the par three course 2 years after his proclamation was no longer a truth.  Was this a coincidence,was it his failing health, or was he a prime example of one who didn’t want to change? He was 84.

Now I am going to bring you back to my “round and around”, “the more things change the more they stay the same”, and “fools who do not know history are destined to repeat it” point. When I see Tiger Woods, I know these times are changing in the sport of golf, whether or not anyone, including Mr. Woods(the self proclaimed “cablasian”) wants them to. In his quest to be the greatest, he will forever be placed in the annuls of history as the African American Golfer who could and did….THAT IS NOT A BAD THING!

One by one we watch these representatives of “a time gone by” crumble and fall, because they are built on faulty or unstable ideals. Triumphant figures from a “Gone With The Wind”  type society fade into oblivion, taking the dark side and secrets with them. Only to be resurrected continuously, minus the negatives.”Pleasantville” lives in DisneyWorld, and it is the last stop before you reach  “The Land of Oz“. Translation the life you seek is a fantasy, that exists in your dreams. Wake up the world is changing right before your eyes, like it or not.  Enjoy The Masters.

Posted in Everybody's Critic and tagged , , , , | Leave a comment
01 Apr 2013
2 Comments

The Joke Was On

Many years ago one might do things without a second thought; now when you look at the world around you, do you have second thoughts.

Life is so serious that we do not have time to laugh and play, if you will. Yet I submit to you, what is a world without room for fun and games. These things that provide us all with an outlet, an actual place for laughter.

I enjoy comedy as much as anyone. I have watched it evolve to a level that the new generation of comics do not believe they can entertain you without being vulgar or mentioning body functions repeatedly, out-of-the-blue, and with little or no pertinence. However, I still do love to laugh and will continue to look for/to this outlet for my regular smiles.

In a time meant for seriousness, when one should be well aware of what one is doing. You enter into a situation haphazardly, but you have no idea what the ramifications of this cavalier approach will have until much later. You didn’t think it would go this far or last this long, but it did and now you ask yourself the question(s). Was I serious? How could I think this would be alright? Where do I go from here?

Adulthood does not give in freely to the ideas of pranks and jokes. I submit you should not take yourself too seriously, but there is a time and a place for the fun and games.

Posted in Quickbits and tagged , , ,

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