hafacenturyncounting

Motivated by a lack of material.

Archive for the tag “inspirational”

26 Jan 2013
1 Comment

Seconds Anyone?

The words just grabbed me. They made me feel imaginative and excited. Out of the blue my inspiration  revealed itself. The 2nd Inauguration of President Barack H. Obama.

Can I tell you that I sat glued to television all day long. When I wasn’t smiling from ear to ear, tears streamed down my face. I cannot tell you each independent thought. There was a flood of emotion. From the outfits his daughters wore and how much they have grown in four years, to the obvious security as the First Couple walked down the street of the parade route. There was happiness and hope abound. You could see the and feel the “love” the citizens of these United States of America  have for this President.

So what memorabilia do I collect this time? I have the invitation. At a time when my finances are not near where I want them to be I am looking at a 50.00 commemorative frame! Really? However, this is history and it is near and dear to my heart. I will skip lunch at my favorite Thai restaurant, I will delay my next visit to the spa. He is phenomenal.

I look to his images for inspiration. He is the  most incredibly human  and seemingly accessible leader.  A friend of mine said, “The Huxtibles are in the White House”.Watching him in moments of tragedy, crisis, joy, and triumph has given me a sense that it will be alright. It will not be great because his opponents would rather see our country fail than to have him, a black man lead us into a successful future. Yet I maintain faith and believe he will continue do great things in spite of what and who he is up against.

Whether you like him or not his accomplishments are amazing. It is undeniable that the cards were NOT stacked in his favor, yet he came out on top. History will remember him for the obvious, at the very least he was first.  A little thing like race is a determining factor in history being honest. The fact that  this is questionable is truly sad.

Oversimplified liken him to a meal shared with friends(I don’t eat with people I don’t like). There were a couple of choices and your choice either was not selected. However, you aren’t going to stop being friends because you did not get your way are you? That is just juvenile and besides maybe next time you may get your pick. There has to be something on the menu you like; there is a common thread because you all are “friends”, so find something you like or get a glass of water, shut up and wait your turn. Personally, I am going to enjoy seconds.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , ,
10 Jan 2013
1 Comment

A December To Remember…. And Reflect Upon

I anxiously await the month of December each year. I have for as long as I can remember. 2012 will be one of many I have to take out and look at, but this year a midst the red and green of the holiday season, there will be an outlined in bold-faced black.

24 years ago on the 17th of December, my beloved father passed away. An emptiness I am ill-equipped to express or convey. 1988 was the most difficult holiday season of my life to date. However, this year December was riddled with bad news and death. It was directly and indirectly touching me. From my “play aunt’s” entry into widowhood to the tragic victims in Newtown, Connecticut; my hear hurt and my eyes welled with emotional tears like an expectant mother.  Coupled with not enough hours in the day, I successfully put off writing until now.Dare I bring up politics and bad weather? I asked myself, ” What about this December and furthermore how will I  choose to remember it?”

Obviously, Christmas will leave it’s mark. First from the religious aspect a season to give honor and thanks to our savior The gathering of family and friends. The fun and wonder of the little one(s) in my life that makes the holiday magic. There were beginnings such as the start of winter, which THANKFULLY was rather unremarkable here in Georgia. There were the birthdays, two of my nieces, my youngest son’s godmother and dear friend celebrate their respective days. “Addi-Paddi” got her “wings” here on Earth. Addison/”Addi-Paddi”/my granddaughter had her first but certainly NOT her last trip to the local indoor trampoline park with parents, uncle, and two sets of grandparents in tow.

As I unpacked and unwrapped each individual ornament, the story of  a Christmas from the past came back to life. Their color and beauty took me to one happily placed memory after another. These ornaments marked births, transitions, and Christmastime fun for 30 years.

I used to wonder how a lovely time of year could make anyone feel bad. The memories and the losses; I had mine, this year the loss would touch a country. Little faces that could not help but remind you of a special little one in YOUR life. And in that same moment you took your mind from that place, because the hurt and fear was too much for you to be able to contain yourself. I avoided that feeling and knowledge for as long as I could.  Newtown, Connecticut.

This was the first year that “Addi-Paddi” would really be aware of and enjoy the season. She conquered the stairs, she knew that any elevation was her launching pad. Jump took on a whole new meaning because of her. At first it was enough for her to do it and then it spread like wildfire. The idea we could all go and join in with her “happy” was a no-brainer.

As I sum up the month.. the “December To Remember” I leave you with this. Nothing profound yet real; the last month of the year, the month that marks endings gives way to beginnings as well.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , , , ,
08 Nov 2012

Funny Thing About HOPE

So I woke up feeling a little sorry for myself ready to bitch about it. Then went to my social media “wall” and saw a post about Rush Limbaugh…uuuuuhhhhhh! Foolishly, I went to the Huffington Post article, read what the creep said and scrolled down to the comments. Prepared to be annoyed I read comment after comment telling, Rush in essence, to “head in”! Then I went to a section where there were images of the President and the first lady, Joe Biden and Jill, their families on stage in Chicago election night 2012.There were 101 images and I got through about ten; when it occurred to me this is what MY country looks like, and this is what MY country said. I have hoped, imagined, and dreamed about the images I saw.  Images that represent who WE are and what WE want for our future. “WE, THE PEOPLE”, the diverse, resilient, multi-faceted PEOPLE of The United States of America. The world was watching, knowing what was at stake, AND cheering us on. It was, it is beautiful. For a few moments I forgot what I wanted to complain about and wiped tears of joy from my eyes. Maybe I am feeling optimistic and idealistic this morning (beats what I stared off with). However, this is what HOPE will do. HOPE will make you say this is possible, this can be, and if you are fortunate you get a chance to say I  am experiencing it. “America, The Beautiful”; She is a rainbow, a symbol of God’s promise.  Just a passing thought.

Posted in Epiphany and tagged , , , | Leave a comment
01 Jul 2012
1 Comment

Up Popped “Happy”

It is true about the state of being happy. Smile and the world smiles with you… Laughter is contagious

As silly as it may sound and seem, I wanted to be angry. I had been damaged and no one could truly appreciate what I was going through. This was a bad day and there seemed to be no end in sight. Each demonstration of concern only made me sink deeper and deeper into my personal “hell”. I felt dark and my writing was dark as well. I thought “No one will want to read this s%$@!” I completely understood why so I refrained from writing.

On my way to do yet another daunting task, another nail in the coffin, one more testimony to my hard-knock-life I came upon my neighbor as he was walking his wonderful little West Highland Terrier(my all time favorite dog).  I was going to wave and keep on driving, but some strange force made me roll my window down in order for me to actually speak. After the ritual “hellos” he asked about my spouse and as the adage goes, “It not what you say, but the way you say it…” well that says it all.

As I talked briefly with this concerned neighbor, I laughed to myself as I recalled how terribly upset these two men were with each other behind a difference in political views not so very long ago. Yet, there was a display of genuine concern and it was consistently ongoing. Each time he saw me and we talked, the concern was there. It just took a different form this evening, this evening there was something in his voice and mannerism that was a tap on the shoulder for me. They obviously had found some happy medium amongst themselves and now when one of  them was down the other felt a sense of loss. The human spirit is amazing. All I had been thinking/ could think of was how terrible things were for me, but in an instant light shone forth, I found a little happy.  The smile stayed with me as I drove out of our sub-division. I noticed what a clear beautiful summer evening we were having. Conscious overtook me and tried to shake me with,” Hey don’t you see what is happening here, you’re forgetting all about your worries”.

However,  this was so good to me I fought off the reality check and wallowed in the happy feeling just a bit longer. I had what I was searching for; a place to rest those rambling, hostile thoughts which ran interference for sadness and a feeling of hopelessness. Now the problems did not disappear, they did not even get smaller what happened in those few moments was there was realization that I will get through this.

What about it folks, did you get what happened here? The Lord never promised us life would be easy, but He said He would never leave us alone. I could have never imagined, would have never thought that my renewed strength would come in the form of a simply neighborly conversation, that I was almost successful in avoiding. I had no idea how,when, or even if things would get better for me in even the slightest way.  But God did.

Posted in Epiphany and tagged , , , ,
04 May 2012
1 Comment

They Keep You Sane

I remember the haunting hypnotic sound of her voice, Deniece Williams, as she sang, “Cause after all…. that’s what friends are for.” How many times have you been on the receiving end of a sympathetic, knowledgeable, loving ear? How many times have you had to be the sounding block for one who needs that same type of caring?

Throughout my blogging, as well as throughout my life I have thought in passing how very blessed I have been to have some very special people in my life. I call them” friends” and I take them very seriously. I know in the earlier part of my life I would hear folks referring to individuals they knew as” friends”. Through the hard times, and there have been  lets just say”a few”, these special people in their special way have helped me to carry on. They are “Godsends” and I thank God for them all.

Every-once-in-awhile, as a friend, you get to do the role reversal and help them through. It is at that point in time YOU should realize and thank them for giving you and opportunity to give back. After you have some things in your life the acquisition of more doesn’t seem quite as important. However, the ability to share part of yourself/ your very being with another, is indescribable. Couple that emotion with the love you feel for that individual… well money can’t buy that.

Hold close these people you call “friends” and be the same kind of friend that you have needed, “once upon a time”. This is my “Hats Off to my “FRIENDS” .

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged
28 Apr 2012
1 Comment

“They’re Just People”

If I never remember anything else about the film And Justice for All I  will always remember the hurt in Al Pacino’s voice as he said that line, to his fellow attorney and friend who had under the guise of helping, had inadvertently and indirectly caused Al’s client to kill himself.

I listen to people randomly rant what they believe to be logic, applying absolutes to situations that absolutes clearly cannot be applied to. So much can be said for the adage”walk a mile in his shoes”. Until it hits you in your heart you may be able to trick yourself into believing, what you think now would be the same if a loved one was involved.

I had to reach for a painful spot in order to write this and the trouble is, I did not want to revisit that pain. However, I did want to get this out and I thought it would only as powerful as my ability to convey the hurt and seriousness of the subject. Once there, I was amazed at how the feelings were revived.

I remember my heart racing, my entire being filled with anxiety as I sat in the very place that I had not long ago shook my head in cold disapproval. I have difficulty writing about it even now. Watching television programs about our justice system only scratches the surface of a real problem that exists in our society, in our community.

I bet you know him, I bet he is related to you or has some close personal tie to you. Maybe you don’t talk about him, maybe you don’t think about him, but that does not make him any less real.

A dear friend of mine excitedly told me of her loved ones impending release from prison one day. I am a cynical sarcastic being, who attempts to be cordial and kind to people I love, like, and care about. I was less than enthused, but for her sake I responded positively. I recall very clearly thinking,'”I wonder why the hell she is so happy about that, undoubtedly he did something to land his behind in there…” I never said those words to her, but the terrible thoughts were embedded in my psyche. One day I would  remember those words from quite a different perspective.

The docudrama LOCKUP was on and my husband made a rather sarcastic remark, I looked at him oddly and left the room. I thought to myself, “Don’t you remember?” There are some very great people who have been imprisoned. They span the annuals of time from the Bible until now. Prison, though a generally bad place, is not always the worse thing that can happen to someone. I never thought I would feel this way, I never thought this could touch or affect me.  Then it did, and my entire world was set on end. That in itself  was/is a very grounding thought and experience.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , , , , , , ,
28 Apr 2012
1 Comment

Daddy’s Baaaby…..

As I was driving one morning I saw I tall slender man walking. In his arms gripping him tightly about his neck was a small child. It was chilly this particular morning so the child was bundled up, hat and overcoat, I could not tell if this was a boy or a girl. However, what I can tell you is that child was surrounded by all it needed in the world, the obvious love and protection of this man. My heart filled with admiration, I smiled and thought of the two of them all day long. I knew I had to say something about DADDIES. I got all of this passing these two on a busy four lane street.

Love is a funny thing. We speak of it or don’t say a word about it. We oversimplify the impact of it and we take it for granted. Love does make the world go round and you see it in the eyes of children. In my times of turmoil, when my center was a bit off I could always find my way back, because my foundation was formed by the constant presence and influence of my father.

Now I watch my granddaughter as she interacts with my son, her DADDY. Her eyes light up when she sees him after spending the day with her “Abuela”,  “Grandpapa” and “Uncle Tio”. While we are alright and she loves us, no one takes the place of DADDY.  She laughs for him in a way that no one else can make her, and in her own little way she lets you know she does not appreciate anyone trying to hurt him, as when we are “play fighting”.

What is this mysterious element DADDY possesses? As I sit and think of it/remember it, it is as mundane and non-affecting as standing up to walk. Yet, in a functioning  fashion, you are completely aware that you cannot take the tiniest of steps without completing the first action.

God made “him” a mountain of strength, a fortress of security, who gives you a confidence that only an unselfish love can provide. Although many have made it through without his presence, many of those same individuals wish “he” would have been there for them. Next time you have an opportunity to see “him”, be it your very own or some random stranger like the one I saw; stand back, enjoy, and observe the love. It will warm your heart and put a smile on your face.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged
03 Apr 2012
2 Comments

Caryl’s First Rose

I see a little girl dressed the way I used to dress/be dressed at Easter in a mid-western city, but she was a thousand or so miles away. I see her picking flowers maybe wearing a bonnet, after all it is Easter-time. I see her holding the banister rail as she navigates downward to the yard filled with flowers or eating chocolate laughing with her brother.

Today the first rose bud bloomed on a bush given to that same little girl’s dad, commemorating her passing last October. It is a lone flower right now, but the promise is it will have more flowers than you can pick.

When we watch our children, we never think of the reality of the future. It is all fantasy and hope. We see them graduating from high school and/or college. We imagine them getting married or becoming parents themselves. We see them changing the world lying in their cribs sleeping.

If we allow the fleeting moment of reality, we quickly shoe-it away with a fear the thought might bring bad luck. I know Caryl’s dad did this. He lived/lives with regret of not doing this or not doing that… If he knew her life would be cut short by cancer, things would have been different.The truth is we have to give our loved ones our love, while they are here. We have to cherish the moments with the knowledge they are moments, not filled with fear but with freedom. The freedom of giving away all you have, because you have no worry of tomorrow. This is where our hope must meet faith. Simply put, our loved ones, they are blessings.

Caryl’s first rose bloom will last until it withers away; picking it or leaving it on the bush, does not change the fact it was here and it was first. So I will take a picture of it to preserve it’s beauty in a way that will allow revisiting, ever mindful it is representing a visit. This place, this Earth is a stopping over point.  Hold her hand a little tighter, enjoy her laughter a little longer and appreciate her beauty with a little more intensely.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged
20 Mar 2012
1 Comment

I Don’t Want To Know…

All of our lives, if we are open minded and fortunate, we are able to learn. Each new day you will have an opportunity to see something, hear something, experience something that you never have before. The world is an open book, all you have to do is read. This is so wonderful yet we take it for granted. I am not the avid reader. I can give you a boatload of reasons and excuses, but none of them makes me feel good. I know that I should read more and I know my reasons are inadequate. However, my head began to pound and I started creating reasons to stop writing this piece. My day and evening ahead were planned. I needed to get started, but I refused to stop this until the first part or most of my thought here was recorded. This piece was written because as hard as I try to stay away from  reading especially negative things, somehow they manage to invade my life. Ironically, I am grateful that they do. For they keep me aware of the fact things are much more difficult than we realize.

Atheist say there is no God. There is an explanation for everything the atheist says. Miracles can be broken down to a series of events. Agnostics say I don’t know. Christians say there is a God and that is all the explanation I need. Do you know why? Here is my take.Well one thing we all share is arrogance. Each one of us is confident we have the answer.  It is commonly accepted the only way to offer proof in a reliable fashion is to have performed tests and offer documented results. Yet if we are challenged or tested, I believe the outcome would come as a surprise.

To loose a child is something that no mother or father wants to experience, we do not even want to think about it. To watch an ailing child suffer is unimaginable, no matter what we say. I pray for people I love everyday throughout the day, because I don’t want to know what it is like to see or know they are suffering, I don’t want to feel the hurt of loosing them. My contribution to the agnostic and atheist for the day is look in the headlines research a little history see the hurt that man inflicts upon himself and see how through the horror we live with everyday, we somehow manage to rise again. Left to our own devices all we would do is maim and destroy. However, the fact that we don’t is not a testament to the greatness of man, it is to God. How else could a mother survive her child being shot to death in a so-called safe community, how could any father allow his child to go to war to fight for a way of life, how could we look one another in the eye and say you are my brother and/or sister I have your back. I don’t want to know a life without God.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged
11 Mar 2012
2 Comments

The Disappointed Idealist

 “Inside every cynical person there is a disappointed idealist”

– George Carlin

Maybe you know one. Maybe you are one. Has life thrown you a blow or two that has made it hard for you to get up? Has your mind finished the delivery of that blow with a dose of feeling inadequate? Now you have an excuse to be sarcastic and negative. Repeat the process a couple of times and the cynic is born.  Now I have to hit you one more time,” this doesn’t make you special or unusual”. We all know it is much simpler to take the easy way out. In this case, it is negative and effortless. Who could blame you, for after all this was a … then you must stop yourself. Stop before you go spiraling in to  the pity party

How did we get here though? Who did this to you? Let’s begin. Your education crescendoed with your post graduate degree, you married your high school sweetheart, the promotion is yours. What you did not realize is these events are not truly final acts as they imply. For though you have reached a goal, the hard work now begins. Of course you know this, but are you reacting like you know it?

Remember, you were going to change the world. That is until you ran into that road block. I submit that the idealist  falls short when they allow themselves to be short sighted. “OOH I didn’t plan on running into so much difficulty in doing this.” Why? If you thought it would be easy, don’t you think it would have been done already.

While it is relatively simple to join the ranks of a cynic, it is not a desirable state. Oftentimes,  it is not as easy to get away from that ” cynical sleeping giant” you awake.  Listen we all get a little down but you have to remember life is cyclic, ever changing and each morning brings a new opportunity for you to close the door on the cynic in you.

Let me go through life looking through “rose colored glasses”. The disappointments should serve as reminders that we have untapped resources that now need to be utilized. Finally, if the desired results are not achieved feel accomplished in the fact that things are not quite the same as they were before you began your endeavor. A true idealist would not give up or surrender to the challenges that would eventually bring their dreams and goals into fruition. While disappointments are the reality for some, know this is not the case or even a possibility for the idealist.

Posted in Epiphany and tagged , , , , ,

Post Navigation

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →