hafacenturyncounting

Motivated by a lack of material.

Archive for the tag “control(s)”

07 May 2013

Hellacious Pursuit

To start the week off we need to be motivated. This charges a writer to say some things to jump-start individuals. However, this can present a problem because writer’s have to start the week too, and Mondays are Mondays for writers as well.

Wanting to be read you do not want to be typecast. You want to be taken seriously, but in your head there is a target audience. They are the target, because you put that target there. It is set in your mind this type of person will read me, I am speaking to their soul, their very being, or simply I write about what they like/like to do. People need to read happy, in order to feel and be happy. How much happy do I have to “divi out” without seeming insincere or becoming typecast is my challenge?

The hellacious pursuit begins as the search to find something interesting to say about an interesting situation, all while periodically taking my own personal feelings out of the equation.I have to be speaking to you, my readers. Realize I must interject self in these writings because this is where you get my “voice”, which is a representative of my mind, and without that these pieces are merely conjecture. This title was a bit of a play-on-words  to imply the darkness or demons associated with HELL.

There are demons that are chasing me when it comes to writing. I call them that because my writing bugs tend to bite me when my time is limited and I am forced to make the decision; to go do what keeps me fed and housed, in opposed to what I love to do and frees my mind. The pursuit is ongoing to find balance and to reach that place where symmetry will reign supreme. Better works to follow once I arrive there.

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05 May 2013
1 Comment

Taking It Slow

If you have ever done something you are not quite proud of, if you have ever wronged someone, if you have ever asked for forgiveness, struggle with me though this for a minute or two. What if YOU believe you have actually NOT done anything wrong and were justified in your actions, but time has soften you to the point where there is a willingness to talk, a willingness be approached.

This is not going to be very long, I think because uncomfortable things have tendency to make you squirm and give off the feeling of”I need to break and run”. No exceptions taken here. Whatever category you fit in, I think the most important thing you can do is have no expectations. The only thing you have control over in these situations is YOU. Therefore,  if you are honest with yourself, you are going to have to understand where you are, may not be where the other person is at this particular point in time.

If you are one of those “sensitive types” like myself, YOU are only willing to be vulnerable for really short periods. Speaking from experience I know that being sensitive, as far as oneself is concerned, does not always translate as sensitivity towards other, and that is especially true in the situations we are touching on. Also, being sensitive affords you the ability to know how to be cruel and vicious. While we all are capable of this, “sensitive” people cut to the bone and then they turn the knife blade. All the more reason understanding “you factor” is paramount here.

Now lets go over this in order for YOU to get it.YOU don’t get the control. YOU don’t get to direct, all YOU get to do is to participate and YOU only get to take part, when it is determined by someone else along with YOU, it is alright to do so. Sometimes YOU do have to leave well-enough, alone.

Posted in Quickbits and tagged , ,
03 May 2013
2 Comments

Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

Tell me lies… can you hear Stevie Nicks’ voice? I remember that Fleetwood Mac Album and I say remember like I don’t have it, although I do. I haven’t played it in years and why should. I basically I can go to youtube, pull the song I want to hear up, and move on. If it strikes a chord in my soul I will go and play it on the stereo.

Music transports us to the places we have been and the places we want to be. Time is meaningless and virtually stands still. Our fabulous musicians say what we want to say and give our words such a beautiful melodic translation; in spite of the fact the words we are hearing belong to them, at the time. It doesn’t take away from the fact that we are feeling those same words.

Alright, how about a little bit on “pillow talk” and how the sweet little lies get tangled up in these conversations. I spoke to an “authority” and he shared his wonderful insight. He says he is being kind. Naturally, I want further explanation. There you are somewhere between dawn and daylight something makes you aware of the other soul close enough to touch and perhaps you are actually touching.  Your eyes meet, you cannot look away or roll over, you may want to but that just wouldn’t be right. A smile may be enough but that mouth of yours takes over… How many times has “I love you” or “You are so beautiful” slipped through because of the awkward moment. Then once you’ve said it no matter how you want to escape you know you have dug yourself a deeper grave.

Sometimes the silence is deafening and therefore in these instances it may seem that there is call for the lies. Resist, smile, and rub  your companions shoulders instead.  If you do you may face the same dilemma later, and perhaps you will then be better equipped.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , ,
20 Apr 2013
1 Comment

The Way I See It

GreatExpectations; This is not a typo this is the way I think this feeling I am wanting to express should be conveyed singular and large. After waking up a 4 A.M inflection and self-discovery was on my mind.

I am a morning person, but there is something terribly wrong about getting up when it is still dark. I have gone through periods where my sleep pattern seemed to be altering itself. I also do need some alone time, I believe writers need this time for clear uninterrupted thoughts. Good luck with this if you have a cat.

I spent some time surfing the internet and listening to music. I saw a couple of things I felt were speaking to me directly. It felt like , when you go to church and the message the minister is conveying  is JUST about you or directed at you.

I wanted to dance, but I have no rhythm.  Was is unreasonable to  expect you to teach me or even know I wanted to learn? I am overweight, the diets have failed. Why haven’t you encouraged me to get fit? I want to make love. When are you going to touch me? GreatExpectations.

Is there no end to the arrogance of man? Note,”man” NOT A MAN.  I ask because of the thought “he who has done great things”, does not necessarily make him great and the perception should not be as such. Perhaps answering some basic questions can answer questions for you, yourself. One must learn to take ones accomplishments in stride. You must realize that you are only a portion of any one thing you do achieve or fail to achieve. I am not undermining or understating that which you have accomplished which is good, but there have been some pitfalls alongside the win-falls. Therefore the defeats must be given the same consideration.Thus taking things in stride.

Varying degrees and levels, varying strengths and weaknesses, yet we expect things to turn out our way, the right way as we see it. If you experience something difficult and you survive it, then you see someone else with the same challenge in their life, but they are not having the success you did, what thought comes to you first? Success or failure you have to take the outside forces into account. None of us has or is a “cure all”. Remember this next time you prepare to “dive into a situation and become aware that you have no oxygen tank”.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , ,
19 Apr 2013
3 Comments

Audio-Visual Affair

I love the saxophone. I was introduced to it, by my mother as a small girl. She told me about many things during our afternoon talks and what she told me about a saxophone stayed with me. One morning surfing through music I found myself hypnotized and engulfed. Here’s what happened.

The way he held his saxophone was the way a woman wants to be held by a man. His eyes closed, his face slightly grimaced. He had the look of pain and ecstasy on his face. Yet you were drawn in by his look. He didn’t play his instrument he loved it; and you, his audience, were captivated by the sound, the movement, and the emotion of it all.  His lips wrapped around the source of this audio-visual affair. Watching him play you become aware of every part of him, he is putting it out there for you. Although he is about 5’11” and slender, he emanates 6’3″muscular with strong biceps. The opened shirt buttons tease you with glimpses of his pecs.Then you tell yourself, “Stay above the waist”… Don’t you realize that he is playing you as hard as he is playing that woodwind? Of course you do, but you go along with it any way. The sounds, his sounds are arousing your other senses as well.  He caresses  his instrument with his fingertips and holds it close to his body. They are one.  It begins to get warm, you are in fact what is warm. You examine his hair, his carefully manicured beard with your eyes, but your hands can feel the strands of his dreads.  Each note higher, each note lower; your breathing is matching his with one difference, he is controlling yours.  You wanted more and he gave it to you. Feels good, huh. When he finished, you needed a drink to quench your thirst. You were tired and excited at the same time. Then he started playing again. Nothin like a man playin a sax…

Posted in Quickbits and tagged , ,
17 Apr 2013

Too Much Month Left

At the end of the money. Smile. It is an old story and in these economic times probably more familiar and common than we would care to believe. Seemingly there is no end to this in sight.

I have to admit this has been a challenging first quarter for me and my business, but on the up side we are still here.  As we fight and claw our way up or even back we have to realize that we may become soiled in the process. Don’t worry about getting dirty or breaking a sweat, that is an indicator that you are exerting some effort. Hard work does pay off and it does this in ways that we sometimes miss.

Travel back in time with me to the movie The Karate Kid (the first one… ah in an era of remakes), when Daniel felt defeated, that he wasn’t making any progress toward his goal of learning Karate; out of his anger and disappointment, when he was ready to give up he was shown he had been being trained and he had in fact  gotten what he had asked for. It just didn’t come in the form or way HE thought it should come.

February the shortest month of the year was not very good to me and I was hurrying it away, but in my rushing forward perhaps I missed sometime that may have helped me in the long run. The quick fix is not always the best fix. I have offered the suggestion to slow down throughout many of my blogs. I sincerely embrace that concept, I also admit it is not always easy to grasp it in tough times.

Half way through the month of April as the season of spring draws closer to an end and if you find yourself in the dilemma of having too much month left, remember challenges give way for your creativity to come to life. I will join you in that thought.

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17 Apr 2013
1 Comment

Time In Purgatory

Not being Catholic, I believe Purgatory is among some of the most familiar concepts non-Catholics are familiar with. Now note I said familiar, NOT knowledgeable. Through time and interpretation the definition of Purgatory has changed, but in general most associate it with purification; pain and suffering on a temporary basis.

As I wrote that I allowed my mid to wander a bit briefly to a time period in which people were tortured and killed in public in the name of God? The concepts surrounding God in Christianity does address His wrath, but what on Earth ever made people think they were qualified and capable to do God’s work, when it comes to punishment. God is quite capable of handling ALL things Himself. Certainly given the nature of man he would not rely on us to handle such a thing. Man, in his ever present arrogance, decided man was capable, qualified, and he therefore acted. I will move on.

Thus, what we associate Purgatory with is what man has decided it should be. I will not get into a religious debate, I have said before I am not versed enough. I do possess a minor understanding; and can see how concepts in the wrong hands, even religious ones, can get carried away.

During an unhappy time or particularly difficult period, do you ask WHY? When you ask why, do you also provide yourself with an answer, an explanation. For if you do then you are ” treading dangerous waters”. God allows us free will, but when decision that we make do not turn out like we thought they should or were not to our liking we blame God in one way or another.

On a massive scale the idea associated with prison; the way we deal with crime and punishment, is this a distorted solution. For how many actually come away from that experience better than before? I believe you had to have good in you, but you just needed something to bring it out of you, in order to survive the ordeal and then have the desire to be new and improved.

One thing the idea of Purgatory does, is it puts you in a place that allows you to think; although I cannot and do not see how one could think or reflect in a place where pain and suffering were so great. Perhaps, the submission part is all that is needed here.

I think God wants us because he loves us, nothing more. If we examine other aspect of our humanity we are not a very good gamble. He gives us free will to do right or wrong. We are not worthy, yet he loves us anyway.  On those bad or challenging days remember this. You have the reins over your life, and what you do with this control is entirely within your power. Make your choices wisely.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged , , , , ,
14 Apr 2013

Personally, I Am Very Private

This is a prelude to a piece that will be included in another section on the blog.

Although I am not a celebrated author (here I go..) I can tell a pretty good story, I think my writing is above average, and if only by the sheer numbers I have produced some readable work. I missed the point completely, at first.  I couldn’t explain it, I couldn’t put it into words, then I stopped and thought about it. I was amazed in a way, disappointed in a way, but now I do understand.

In a world and in an era where everyone wants to be seen, everyone wants to be heard, everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame; I got a surprise. Now I was going to do a piece about someone I do in fact know, and I was going to try to tell their very interesting, historic story. I prepared to interview them, I had an idea how I wanted to do this piece, I wanted to tell their story as individuals, but I wanted my readers to know about them as a couple as well.

However on my last encounter when I reminded and inquired , of the husband, if he would be ready to speak with me on my next visit.  In a pleasant way he told me he did not mind me telling his story as long as it was not going to be “naming names”. He went on to say there were things he just didn’t want to talk about and then he asked(may have forgotten) what I was going to do with this information. I think we have a tendency to look at our seniors with kindness and pity, we view them as grumpy and not in control  but  what this does is deprive, whether knowingly or not, them of what they deserve most of all RESPECT.

While telling their story may have been okay with his wife, maybe it really wasn’t clear or thought through. I say that because once again I am dealing and in the same mindset, with a society of  folks whose taglines could easily be “HEY OVER HERE LOOK AT ME!!!”

The aspiring writer in me was surprisingly not let down. This would be yet another challenge, and I saw an opportunity to not get one piece out of this encounter but two. The first is this piece, drawing attention to the fact there are some private people left.  The second will be in the Fictional Accounts category. It will not be lacking in content.

Back to the matter at hand, I thought how fortunate I was to have these particular people available to me. I have always, since childhood, enjoyed talking to people I was junior to in a chronological sense. I also enjoy talking to intelligent people. Longevity, in the most general way, has to be given credence to some degree of wisdom one gains by the virtue of mere existence. I both respect and admire my friends who will be the subject of my Fictional Accounts story, I just had to be reminded of this.

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08 Apr 2013

Bad Behavoir Contagion

Well it spreads like any other infection. Exposure to this means you are as likely to catch or become it, as you are to resist or overcome it. Take a closer look.

What do you know about the typical characteristics of communicable diseases. You know the environment has to be ideal for them to grow and thrive in. There must be a host to infiltrate. This same host must have a weakened system. Repeated exposure to the attacker is generally enough to accomplish a breakdown. Finally there have to be others for it to spread to.

Although bad behavior is primarily psychological affliction, I submit to you it sports the same characteristics as the physiological one. Therefore what do you do when you know you are going to be in a situation or environment that puts YOU at risk? One could avoid it, one could build oneself up with vitamins and nutrients. However, if those things fail and you end up affected, you get help.

The treatment has to include both physician and medication. The host must follow the directions of both in order to fight off and drive away the disease. Full recovery is possible, but that is not saying it will be easy.

When we place the condition in the psychological column, the physician becomes the counselor or spiritual leader; vitamins and nutrients, become good influences and reliable information; medication becomes consistent positive reinforcement.

With these things in your corner, you are prepared for battle. You stand a chance to not only fight off this bad behavior, but possibly change some of it.

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08 Apr 2013
1 Comment

Now You Want To Be

The choices are very limited now, so you take what you have and you cherish it ever-so-much, but what about the fact that you have had and slighted the very same choice for quite a long time. The wear and tear are visible now. Yet, you say it doesn’t matter. I challenge you with, why didn’t you cherish this same item/possession/companion when it was new?  You must entertain and/or live with that question and others. What if it is too late to salvage? What are you willing to do, how much time and effort will you put forth to correct this wrong. Can you be so arrogant as to think you can go along, as though nothing has happened,  and things will continue on the same lines.

None of us are perfect, but while you do NOT have to wallow in the errors you make/have made you do have to take notice. If there has been something wrong done you have to make an effort to fix it, and YOU don’t have the luxury of feeling any ill-will if your efforts are not applauded and/or rejected. Facing those type circumstances you may think, “I’d be better suited to do things my way” and you may in fact be just that. I caution you here; if you are truly in the place of moving on and moving forward, not taking active and aggressive steps in order to smooth over and fix the problem will only result in disaster.

What is the most difficult part of owning up to what one has done?  Can it be the fear of rejection; because knowing what you have done is something YOU would not let go, and thereby realizing this person you have wronged may respond in a similar manner. Is it  coming face to face with the fact you are, as human beings are, weak and flawed. The only thing you will preserve by not taking a pro-active course of action is your ego, selfish and large, it is the primary reason why you are at this place currently. Factor ego OUT of the solution.

If you are truly sorry, try to soften the blows that have been delivered in a kind manner.  The sincerity will be apparent. Hopefully, there is still some sensitivity left for you to work on or work with. The numbness of indifference, once it has set in, is much more difficult to reverse.

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