hafacenturyncounting

Motivated by a lack of material.

01 May 2014
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Ignite Some Happy

I grew up being taught to respect my elders. As life continues on and I watch myself and my peers entering the stage of life where we are considered elders, I see things unworthy of respect. Everyone is due respect, until they do something that takes them out of  that position.

We are growing older without growing up and you might say at 50 something isn’t it time to become an adult? I see our group running around trying to keep aspects of our lives that are fading away(i.e. outward appearances), but they are affecting who we are internally. We should learn that who we are internally is what really matters the most.

Older people often criticize the youth for having no respect for themselves or others, but who did they learn this from. Did we  fail to teach or did we fail to learn from our teachers? Inside of us exists a fire, it may be real or it may be a figment of our imagination. It is good to have that burning within, but hopefully we know where and when to extinguish it, for fire burning out of control is very dangerous.

These  same older people who cannot move as fast as before do not deserve to be run over, but they do not get to hold up traffic and throw you the finger because of your impatience. Think of yourself in this slower place and try to be understanding, work on yourself in a manner that will help enable you to accept the changes of life. Don’t get mad because you cannot do what you once did, instead do all that you are capable of in the state of  THE NOW.  Don’t be fueled by anger. It is unflattering and unwanted. Next time something ferocious grows within you, use it and go ignite some happy.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , ,
01 May 2014

Do You Have A Safe Place For A Secret

We think we keep these secret feelings and thoughts hidden. Tread lightly on these beliefs; the way you feel often is all over your face and you are thinking,”No one has any idea how I feel”.  I have found out on more than one occasion, my acting skills are limited. I think I make an honest effort to conceal contempt I have for certain individuals, but I know that my efforts aren’t always enough. Then I start questioning the sincerity of the effort. How hard do we really work at keeping things hidden?

Truth is difficult at times but just examine the complexities of what you believe started out as a “little-white-lie”. I do not believe we are being honest with ourselves when we pack things away so no one else can see them.

I visited this thought in relation to the animal kingdom. Dogs sometimes bury their bones, this happened more frequently when  our animals stayed outside; now they do like we do, if it is a toy they care a great deal about it is with them constantly, or put away in a closet, under a bed, etc. Your pet puts his “favorite” away for safe keeping so no one else can have it, yet when he feel the need for it, he goes and gets it from the hiding place and flaunts it right in front of you. One might say this is mimicked behavior and that is a possibility. One more example I will offer is the squirrel. I watched one in my yard running around and darting about one afternoon, it was strange because there was a large orange tabby laying in the bushes waiting for an opportunity.. After a bit he came up with an acorn. The little guy had hidden it away and was scrounging about trying to find it. He had no idea when he tucked it away for safe keeping he would be putting his life in danger when he went back. Rather symbolic here.

I submit to you that our secrets are sometimes little badges of honor, we keep them around to pull out at random times to relive something we no longer are privy to. This is defying their very existence, for a secret is something you keep hidden. What about it though, do you have letters, picture, notes, or emails hidden away? Is there a lock on your phone or a box somewhere, so certain information cannot be accessed by “anyone”.  Listen if you are not tech savvy you are fooling only one person, and as for the other aspect what happens if one of those items falls out of it’s secret hiding place?

Do we entertain consequence when we place these things in an out of the way location? What if we forget it like the little squirrel or chose to bring it out for attention or to tease like the dog?  How safe is your secret now?Does such a place exist anywhere? When do we begin to feel the need to hide things and to whose benefit is this practice? What is it that you are hiding in your secret place, and is it really safe?

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05 Apr 2014
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The Un-Happiest Place On Earth

I was so happy to be back in the “rat-race” a few short months away from retirement, but so far away from  some challenges, I returned happily. The pay not nearly what I wanted (is it ever),  it was an amount I could deal with. The benefits were worth their weight in gold. Not only did I have the comfort of knowing I had them, but the relief from stress was priceless.

I went to my new gig daily with an attitude of,” It is great to be here”. However, I looked all around me and saw the faces of descension. I saw scowling expressions and seriously unhealthy folks. I shook my head as one of these individuals allowed a door to close practically in my face. I resisted the inner self that said,” BITCH, I know you saw me..” I laughed to myself and said, ” These people don’t know how good they have it”.

I survived weeks of training. I tried to excuse the opinions and conclusions I was drawing; as I  observed time passing and my retention of the material not nearly where I thought/ felt/ knew I should have been. I tried to keep it simple, “It was me”. I kept my  composure as each instructor presented material and in most cases followed up the lesson with , “You probably won’t see this any time soon”. I carried around and tried to keep a manual organized filled with information that I was told, ” You cannot rely on this because it changes so often”.  I tried not to think, ” I am gonna be out here on my own, not having a clue as to what I am telling people calling or writing in for…” I still tried to remain positive because my instructor and managers said, ” You will be fine”.

Then it became harder and harder to look at those faces I encountered, along with the impolite attitudes, and NOT understand “why”. I feared I was beginning to relate. The transformation began taking place in the final week of training. Then the very day we were no longer in the status of “training” we were treated as though we were seasoned professionals, rather than being recognized as newly released green–peas. When we asked questions our managers/leads/coaches  now looked at us like,”WHY DON”T YOU HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS? ” This group of individuals who gave the impression as well as said, they wanted team work, now informed us we should not talk to one another and exchange information ( i.e. we should not try to help each other). I glanced at the mirror one evening, as I took one of many needed stress breaks, and noticed one of those unhappy scowls looking at me and guess what, it was me!

The morale has plummeted, in some instances bottomed out. The assistance/coaching has intensified to triple magnitude micro-management from folks who technically aren’t managers  to complete disconnect  by others. You are either being watched as you take every breath and step,  or  totally ignored and left out there with all your problems and questions alone. The actual managers appear to as well as demonstrate concern for one thing, themselves. How about that for a team effort, a far cry from “We’re all in this together”.

I thought about the faces, the bad attitudes, and the un-toned bodies. It began to make sense, more and more. Now as I pass through the gates no matter how I try to imagine a day that I  will once again feel the emotion I had the day I got the job. For while I am grateful each and everyday; I have a lot of imagining to do and this is a far cry from a theme park.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged
05 Apr 2014

Worn Out Welcomes

This should be short and sweet.  Only a couple points to make; first don’t do it, second if you do leave quietly. End story right? However, when you factor in _____________ the list becomes virtually endless. Saturday Night Live did a spoof of 1950’s horror movies and theirs was  a trailer called, “The Thing That Wouldn’t Go Home”.  Complete with cheesy music, obvious lines blatantly suggesting departure should take place NOW, and timed screams, “The Thing”  just did not get it.

When you  talk about a guest in your home well it can be touchy. Yet once they are gone you can do things to avoid a  recurrence. Making sure you aren’t available for the next visit, risk friendship by telling them the truth about the previous visit, etc. What do you do when it is a resident in your neighborhood? What if “The Thing” is your next door neighbor who owns his home and your horror movie isn’t about him going home, it is about him and/or his behavior going away, period?

“The Thing” has, in essence, worn out his welcome in the neighborhood. He has not taken the subtle and/or blatant hints. His defiance has upset the cozy environment, now something must be done about him.

They say “You Can’t Fight City Hall”, but you can. The problem is you have to keep at it long enough for two things to happen; 1.city hall realizes you have a problem, 2. you will not go away until they do something about it. Depending on  the size of the city will determine how much noise you must make and how long you have to keep at it.

Sometimes in the midst of situations you may wake to find that you have now become “The Thing That Wouldn’t….“ No one ever said that being right or correct keeps you safe from being labeled that which is unwanted.  The truth is having to make someone perform at a higher level is not always welcome. How many calls or complaints from one individual constitutes an annoyance? You think, “I am only  asking that they do their job”, while the party on the receiving end is thinking, “Will you let me do my job”.

When it is finally over and all is said and done, you may come to realize that all that you have accomplished has not had the affect you hoped for.  Individuals who push to a point where all one wants from them is for them to be gone are clueless;  while you can push them out the door or kick them in the behind, that does not mean you will cure that invasive part of them and keep them from doing the very same thing again. You must come to grips with the fact they were never really welcome, just merely tolerated, and now they have reached zero-tolerance.

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05 Apr 2014
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What Is It About Richard?

I woke to the sound of birds singing, bright sunshine and cold! Ah yes but Spring is here. The music that is playing in my mind is “Under The Bridges Of Paris” the instrumental from Shall We Dance.  “What is it about Richard”, I ask myself.

Come on now, we all have these images of what the ideal romantic mate would be like.  Richard Gere is mine. It is fantasy, and it is fun! I loved and lusted after the likes of Billy Dee Williams, Denzel Washington, Boris Kodjoie to name only a few. No one can hold a candle to Brad Pitt in the looks department and he is/has become basically a saint in my eyes now. However Richard… he will always make me believe what I want to believe, that love/amour is like the scent of  jasmine flowers floating past you on a spring day, unforgettable.

What is it about Richard, women would argue his looks. I see the tiny eyes and rather large average nose. He has great hair though, dark brown salt and pepper or gray, it is great and it looks great on him. Is it the roles he has played in? Can mere portrayals change and alter actual images? Lets look at some facts about the subject of this piece and the object of my admiration. Richard Gere is an educated man, he is a cultured man, he is a humanitarian, he is more than what meets the eye and that is refreshing in an environment such as the one that exists in Hollywood. That is a both a plus and a minus; Richard gives us a picture of normal, well-adjusted, attractive and unaffected, but he is a by-product Hollywood, the place where pictures (which are merely images) are what is what it sells.

When I watch Richard onscreen he is simply selling what I happen to be buying, perfectly packaged, a welcomed escape, an illusion.

 

Posted in Quickbits and tagged , ,
10 Mar 2014
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My Life Through Malls

As I sat watching my husband and granddaughter ride the merry-go-round I was transported back  through time and space to Torrance, California;  her father was about 3 years old riding this imported merry-go-round with his “Auntie Jennifer” (I even have a picture) at the “Old Towne Mall”. That mall housed old fashioned shops, glass-bowers, etc. ; it never caught on, it survived for decades but it slowly disappeared into oblivion like the “Carson Mall”, “The Hawthorne Mall”, “Gwinnett Place Mall”, to name a few I had encounters with. However, even before that as a teen when the mall phenomenon was just catching on my life-long friend(i.e just like a sister, only our parents are different) Kim and I spent many Saturdays at the nearby malls. We would spend hours there with money that would barely buy lunch, no wait  a cookie and a drink now. The malls had everything from cute clothes, fun food, and attractive members of the opposite sex. Truly one stop shopping. As certain music can be attached to you , producing YOUR personal soundtrack , my mall experience served as a navigational tool.  I was able to connect my shopping habits to where I was in my  life at any given time. I thought , ” Wow this is crazy”! Yet it started me thinking about how true this was. I now see myself going out of my way to avoid trips to the mall. I buy online to avoid the crowds or go to local shopping areas, places that you have to walk from store to store by exiting the building and going outside. As everything in life, this trend of malls has made a full circle. Once the appeal of year-round-regardless-of-weather-conditions environment brought people out in droves. They had everything. There was a point that you could do it all at the mall. The Mall of America even had an amusement park inside. multiplex movie theaters were signs of a money making mall, the mall near my home “Peninsula Center” even had an ice skating rink. A little out of the ordinary for Southern Cal. It was a point that you not only dreaded going into malls because of crowds, but the area nearby because of traffic. Now the small local specialty shops are on the rise, “anchor stores” like Macy’s are losing ground to vintage clothing and second hand stores. The economy made us uncomfortable and unhappy, but it also made us think and become thrifty. We came up with new ideas to keep ourselves fashionable without spending a fortune. Of course the mall experience has not died, in many cases it is not even sick. I know my disdain began when I watched a report in the mid 1990’s and the “mall psychologist” was  noted as a necessary part of mall planning. My first though was what-the-__ is a” mall psychologist”. As the report went on it explained things like appealing to people and promoting impulse buying, the use of tactic like end cap displays, but what ticked me off was when one of these professionals talked about how some malls had the up escalator on one end of the mall and the down escalator on the other end. If you wanted to just come into one particular store aside from those “anchor stores”, you would have to either climb stairs, wait on an elevator (also in an “anchor store” for the most part}, or walk a good distance past many stores clamoring for your attention and your money.

I thought of malls I knew of that were designed just like that, malls I frequented and  how hard it was to just walk, not browse when you were in the mall walking past stores. Then the “mall psychologist” did not seem quite so ridiculous, I realized how predictable I was, how these individuals had sized me up. I hated that they were right. I set out to be a part of the resistance. Yeah well, finances were the biggest factor in my resistance. However, as time went by I did realize how little I needed the mall experience.

On this particular day as I sat recalling a time gone by, having a DeJeVu moment with my granddaughter I was once again able to appreciate the experience of indoor shopping. However, I did take note this mall is all on one level.

Posted in As Consumers and tagged ,
10 Mar 2014
1 Comment

A Birthday Card

Birthdays are special to me. Folks who are close to me know this and know I generally do not miss anyone I know special day.  It is a role I took on when my favorite aunt passed many years ago, it just fit.When mail was a main vehicle of communication our family knew there was a card coming on their birthday, and if you were local the most fabulous cake you could imagine, because Aunt Elinor saw to that.  I am not infallible as she was, nor am I the baker.  I  do offer what is available to me.

Pressed for time I wanted to share something from my childhood. Today marks a special day for a lady I have know since childhood. I met her as an awkward tween, when I moved next door to her. She was a pretty girl and I knew my life would be “hell”. However I was pleasantly surprised.. okay I was down right shocked, when she came into the backyard separated by a chain linked fence and offered a friendly “Hi”. I was swinging like a child, because I didn’t think anyone was watching. I said, “Hi” back to her and froze. She started up the yard and we were friends from that point on.. No not really. The sound of a record scratching drives home this point.

There is far more to our story than that. However, this is called  A Birthday Card not a series of books, and I say that because it would take volumes to cover what Kim and I have shared over these past 4o+ years. I think of the boyfriends, the times we did not speak to one another, the marriages, the parties, the births, and the passing’s. Departures and arrivals, zeniths and plateaus; I know I never dreamed the pretty girl next door would be my lifelong friend, so many years down the line and still as pretty as ever, as a matter of fact she is beautiful from the inside out. On the anniversary of her birth I just want to say, “Happy Birthday!! and Thank You my sister, and my friend for life. It is your birthday, but I have been the recipient of the gift for decades. Be blessed.“

Posted in One For My Friends and tagged
06 Mar 2014
2 Comments

Has My Blog Died and Gone To Heaven?

Today we are going to do a Frankenstein type experiment utilizing a eulogy as the tool to attempt resurrection.

Hafacenturyncounting.com was cute down in it’s prime. A victim of neglect. No one could have known that after a few short weeks it would be treated as though it never existed. As passerby drops in a couple times a week, but overall the site remains quiet and unnoticed. The few followers are still around as loyalty is characteristic of them. One can easily see how blogs get caught up in the whirlpools of the internet, and you truly are only as successful as the last piece you wrote.

Hafacenturyncounting.com came to be three short years ago, armed with a background of a “seasoned novice writer” as it’s only tool. Continuing through the years hoping to connect with others on a common journey. There were no real expectations; only to be an exchange of information from one individual’s vantage point, with perspective many travel this same road and share these same experiences. Never wildly popular, but most who bothered to stop by enjoyed the visit. I blame marketing or lack there of. It is a plain paper bag in the world of colorful, picture riddled writings. Yet Hafacenturyncounting.com  believed it could appeal to the mature, serious-minded individual.

Hafacenturyncounting.com “bit the dust” without warning; okay maybe that is an over simplified assessment, but it took a backseat too long. I stopped writing everyday or every week for that matter. I thought there was enough material to keep visitors coming and there is a great deal to read(292 published blogs). What I failed to realize is we as a society are very much into the now, what is new will catch the eye. Even though there is a great deal in the blog to read, it only gets attention when a red flag is waved or an announcement of it comes.

Therefore, I wish to announce Hafacenturyncounting.com is not dead! My answer to the title is “Not by a long shot”! I do respectfully request a little more effort on the part of my followers, to bother to read more of the material contained in the blog. However, I will make every effort NOT to be negligent from this point forward. That said look for a least one piece per week.  Hafacenturyncounting.com does appreciate each of the followers, readers, and critic who stop by the site. See you soon.

Posted in As Consumers and tagged
06 Mar 2014
2 Comments

Sorry To Disappoint You But…

I suppose I am not only confused, I am equally confusing.  If you have ever had your proverbial coattail pulled, you will be able to relate. You have to be able to bare your soul to those you call family and friends, but then the realization comes to you in an unexpected form, that maybe you need to keep a little of that soul covered for the sake of all concerned.

On this journey called life we encounter a vast variety of experiences that we sometimes have to come to grips with; we lived through them, but did not necessarily conquer them. The appearance of” being on top” for example can be deceiving and therefore gives off an illusion. You don’t mean to trick or fool those close to you, but they can easily be convinced of things merely because they want them to be true. Expectations are high, you don’t want to disappoint, but at some point in time you must face facts and so must those you are closest to.

Flawed, imperfect, weak, and devoid of solution you cower in your little corner waiting for someone to pick you up and carry you to safety, even if you have historically been the one doing the picking up. This now must be coupled with the knowledge your cries as well as your crisis went unnoticed. It is so difficult to carry so much and not complain. Honestly, it takes a lot to carry loads and complain. Understand as let down as you feel that”rock”, you thought you knew, is experiencing the backlash of what you feel and placing the additional burden upon themselves of “I should have been better“.

The problem with a “rock” is that the tough exterior is porous, this means the damage comes over time from something penetrating and seeping in. Conditions, just like climate, change and eventually the “rock” cracks; it is weakened now no longer able to withstand what it used to, finally  the crack will break the “rock”. Though it may take a long time and the outward appearance does not change much internal changes are taking place.

“Those things that do not kill us make us strong”. However, strong people get taken advantage of as much as the weak ones do.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged ,
28 Feb 2014
1 Comment

XV-hafawaymovingforward

February 2014 is GONE! It looks like this year is moving faster than ever. i remember as a child constantly hearing adults upon meeting with one another saying things like,” Time sure is flyin”. Well now I see it for myself and it has a great deal to do with focus.

What are you working on in your life presently? I have several major projects going on in my mind and I am overwhelmed, just think what will happen when I actually start working on these same projects. “Where do I begin”, I ask myself each day. I skim over these items, touch upon them lightly, or perhaps not at all. I tell myself things like, ” I just need more time, or only if I had more time”. Neither of these semi-solutions are helping my projects move and they are solutions that are not currently feasible. Therefore, my works are in a state of limbo.

Not being able to focus and concentrate keeps one of balance. Soon other things that were not major players in your moving forward on these projects begin to interfere as well. I recently found that returning to  something that is very familiar to you helps. It is comforting to put yourself in a state that you “know your way around in”. This comfort may be a place, or with a person, perhaps you need a reconnect with God.

Whatever works for you, know you have to do something to pull yourself from this confusion. Think of that resting state, how it will rejuvenate you, how you will be strengthened and renewed. Realize this is the first place you must go before you can endeavor anything else. Once you get there, hopefully you will see the rest will fall in line.

Posted in Hafwaythroughpoints and tagged

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