hafacenturyncounting

Motivated by a lack of material.

23 Apr 2022
1 Comment

Once A “Playa-Playa”

Walking through the parking lot of a noted senior living complex, I spotted beautiful and bright red Mustang. I could not tell you the year, but it was an eye-catcher. It was the kind of car; younger men want for obvious reasons. It is the same car that law enforcement has been “rumored” to target for speeding and insurance companies govern themselves accordingly. Back to my walk…I noticed more than the red paint job. The car was adored with chrome. The rims were red and chrome, there were chrome door guards, for a moment I was propelled into my past and I somewhat laughingly took a look for chrome mud flaps (there weren’t any thankfully I may have not been able to contain myself). I did however see inside the chrome chain license plate frame “OG”. I dropped my head and had to look away. I was being judgmental, and I could not get a handle on it. There it was, my mind was in a whirlwind…”Oh my goodness, get real, poor guy is delusional, Dude you live in a senior complex!” Now I am still walking but obviously looking at that car. I saw the vanity plates, the car is a convertible, his side view mirrors, and the shaker hood are all chrome. Does he want to be seen or what? I have seen this guy a few times. I never recognize him without his car and when I see the car I basically “tah-tah” him off with thoughts of the level of ridiculousness he must possess to drive around at his age like that. Sometimes I think what he must have been like when he was young…. He is not alone.

There are a few wannabes and maybe actual ” once were’s” who are now “has beens” in the complex. They walk around with cigarettes in hand, they wear various hats or caps, mostly to hide the receding hairlines or the bald/balding heads. They dress in a fashion that is a cross between gardener/construction worker/”tennis-shoe pimp”…you gotta see for yourself. If they are not sitting on the bench waiting for the local free-to-senior’s omnibus running their mouths, they are standing about 100 feet from the security doors finishing a smoke or about to begin one. Gone are their glory days. No more women, no more fights, just reminiscing the days gone by, but with the arrogance (in appearance) that they could still do their thing. It is a funny thing to watch; beings like these guys attempting to be charming and humble. Characteristics they are completely unfamiliar with. I applaud the effort silently, speak in accordance, and keep walking at a fast pace so not to give the impression there is time or room for conversation. What do you suppose these OG/Playa-Playa’s have to say? I imagine it often covers what they used to do and what they “think” they still can do. Whatever it may be I would say it IS indicative of their mindsets and that mindset tells them who they are…for all time.

Posted in Everybody's Critic and tagged ,
29 Mar 2022

When It Just Isn’t Enough

You two said goodnight. You had spent hours together talking endlessly about everything under the sun. Ironically you could have gone on, but against better judgement the decision was made to stop here..for the moment.

It is NOT the way you recall it being so many years ago. We have changed on every level including but not limited to chronologically. We have truly lived a “lifetime”. Now that we are back in a familiar place it is not so easy to recall what was and what was not correct. Couple that with the rules of the game have been altered to fit the masses and we are no longer the masses.

Unlike the learning process we grew up with, feeling the confidence that comes with familiarity, once again we find ourselves stumbling through this obstacle course called “life”. This feels familiar and strange at the same time, perhaps that is why we are drawn to it.

It feels like a walk on the beach at Waikiki. In the moments we share the actual environment is insignificant. You ask why one would want to be any other place but in the company of this being? One cannot imagine. We are at a point in our lives where there may NOT be many more opportunities like this one to seize.

However, we still hesitate. For whatever the reason, we contemplate the “other” possibilities. We look at others who have acted in a fashion we deem hastily and try to justify what we are doing. Our way makes sense. To this I offer, while we go through all of the why’s and how’s to do things correctly or timely or both… the unthinkable CAN happen. Then we MUST realize we set our own selves up for this scenario in which there truly wasn’t enough….

Posted in How We Relate, Uncategorized and tagged , | Leave a comment
29 Mar 2022
1 Comment

And the Oscar Goes To….

What can one say when they bear witness to something but have only a few facts? Are we to trust our very own deceiving eyes? Can we believe our betraying ears? What could we have missed? We speculate, we listen to the so-called experts, critics, and fans. In the end the conclusion is as varied as the individuals that draw them. Therefore, let us begin…

For decades now I have made it my business NOT to take in the pageantry, tradition, grandeur and fluff of award shows. This is a far cry from what I once did. From the red-carpet attire to the acceptance speeches, for years I was captivated. Oscar’s, Grammy’s, Tony’s, Emmy’s, SAG, American Music; I made time for them all. I may have not watched from beginning to end but I took in a good part of them. I knew the main players and recipients of the biggest bounty.

As time went on, as it happens, many things changed. People stopped holding these events in high esteem; the events seemed to be losing momentum, the attire was the first to fall on the wayside and the behavior was the next casualty. I recall watching in utter disgust as a band came forward to accept their award and one of the members spat as he walked toward the stage. This was the Grammy’s, and it was held inside with carpeted floors and upholstered seats. We won’t even talk about how they were dressed I had seen enough. It was not a surprise that I no longer held any interest. Thankfully, things improved, and the award shows returned to what they resembled in past years. I, however, was scarred and to me they lost their zeal. The advent of the internet allowed me to get the results without having to dedicate hours to watching the entire event(s). Problem solved.

It pains me to write this, but as with countless others I feel I have something to say. I have an opinion…and we know what is said about opinions. I was positively appalled by Will Smith’s display Sunday March 27,2022. One can argue he cracked, or he was defending his wife’s honor. Henceforth the record will show a black man assaulting another black man on stage, televised around the world. What a pretty picture, Will. As you broke through a barrier you trashed the area around it with stereotypical behavior. You showed the world violence and foul language, in an instant and no one took into account the possible reasons why.

Many things should have prevented this from happening. Where was security at the event? Why was Will permitted to calmly walk up on that stage assault Chris and walk back to his seat and stay to accept his award later in the show? Academy FAIL.

Why did Will take offense to a joke (no matter whether one feels was in poor taste or not) after he was seemingly seen/filmed laughing at the same joke, to the point the felt compelled to behave in such an uncivilized manner. Under the guise of being disrespected he demonstrated disrespect. Under the guise of protecting, he unmercifully attacked. Though he later apologized to everyone EXCEPT who was physically harmed. And no one was fooled by a publicist version of an apology to Chris the next day. Will Smith FAIL.

As unpopular as this may be let us shine the spotlight on the so-called catalyst in this situation…Will’s wife Jada. Jada, who was so deeply hurt and saddened by Chris’ unkind words (NOTE coming from a comedian it is called a joke) regarding her alopecia, she could not find the strength in her very own character to stop her husband/her protector from putting himself in a very questionable position? For as it has been noted, all it took was a look from Jada to prompt Will’s assault, it is very possible/probable a touch, a word could have prevented this chain of events that took place subsequently. Jada Pinkett-Smith FAIL.

Finally, we must examine the man who was the ultimate target, Chris. Chris is NOT a saint. Chris IS a comedian, a comedian charged with hosting an award show, and he did it with the tools of his trade…JOKES. He is not the first comedian to tell jokes at the expense of others, he is not the only comedian to tell jokes at the expense of others, and hopefully he will not be the last…. This IS what comedians do. Actors act, singers sing, dancers dance…. See a correlation here? What Chris did do was, demonstrate class and professionalism under conditions many of us may not have. Chris Rock PASS with honors.

I have heard and read; it was staged, Chris got what he deserved, and let he without sin cast the first stone.

This writer’s take away… have RESPECT and don’t take yourself too seriously. In a joyous situation allow the celebration to take center stage and IF you understand the concept/definition of RESPECT all situations will be handled appropriately.

Posted in Everybody's Critic, How We Relate and tagged ,
19 Mar 2022
1 Comment

I Just Knew I Was Right

Have you ever just pegged someone completely correct? It is as though you have the power to tell the future. The individual seems to walk, run, go-through-the-motions like a perfectly chorographed dance.

We all enjoy being correct. No matter how much we deny it and try to act like we get little satisfaction from being right , the truth is the truth. However, there are situations and circumstances that just have to make you feel so much better than just being right, like when you dodge the perpetual bullet.

Though it is validation, can you recall when you would have given anything to be wrong? Thoughts swirled about you and your particular individual, but instinct, common sense, and that gut feeling took over. You could not deny such a combination. Rather than acting on impulses and with your heart, you used your head.

Therefore, today when confirmation presented itself all you could do was smile. Like looking through a two-way mirror, you were able to observe him go through his VERY predictable motions. When you talk, because you still talk to him, he tries to make the situation seem innocent and as though he is this benevolent creature saving yet another poor soul. All he is doing is more of the same, the same Modus Operandi, the years have changed but he has not. He is no more able to be emotionally available than he was when you met him and now, he once again embarks on another venture that will undoubtedly be a failure and he will be able to proclaim he is the victim. He wants to take you on this ride with him, under the guise that you two are friends. The truth is you are NOT friends, he has taken you on his trips throughout the years, you just have not been in the car beside him. Even though you have been close, and you felt yourself slipping; you have watched from the ground or just outside the line. He even got angry because you told him that you knew who he was and his behavior was typical. The “friendship” may not survive this time. Now all you can do is smile as you know you were right and did in fact dodge-the-bullet.

Posted in How We Relate, One For My Friends
13 Mar 2022
1 Comment

Lost In The Magic Of The Moment

Glancing out of the corner of my eye I saw the commercial for Lucky Charms cereal and the special edition for St. Patrick’s Day which would turn your milk green Smiling I recalled some of the things that got me excited as a child. The simple things that seemed so very important at that time. I fast forwarded to when my boys were little, and how we as parents were able to provide them with the excitement and joy which took them over the moon from the aisles of the local chain toy store. Furthermore, that same feeling being recreated for my grandchildren. And while the local chain toy store has gone by the wayside, the memories are fresh. Realizing, of course, many of these sources of joy were merely gimmicks devised by the marketing geniuses of their particular time did NOT take away that drawing power, at least not for the smallest consumers.

No one paid attention to the chemicals that we ingested to make our food turn a particular color, except some up-and-coming account manager that happened to notice this byproduct as his own kids ate this same cereal. No one cared that the poorly made plastic toys which sold for pennies were health hazards. All that was known or cared about, at the time was it was entertaining and it made us feel good. Now in our complicated lives where many are beginning to enjoy times that do not include work as we traditionally knew, we are also searching for something/anything that will occupy our time, slightly challenge our minds, and bring us some of the joy life has to offer. Our momentary magic…slightly outside our grasps yet clearly in sight..

Posted in Quickbits
13 Mar 2022
1 Comment

Don’t Act As Though I Am The Only One

I remember my dad pulling into a parking space that there seemingly was no one else around. Perhaps it was to catch his breath, perhaps it was to enjoy an ice cream cone without having eyes studying your every move.. but then it would happen. Another car would pull up and park in a space very near if not right beside us. He would become annoyed, angry at other times. However, the constant thought /statement was, “They just came over here/parked here because I was here.” The older I got the more ridiculous it seemed to me for him to say. My dad was a kind, smart, rational man. However, when that statement came out of his mouth, he seemed far from any of the afore mentioned adjectives.

The years are advancing, the body is changing, and the mind is playing tricks on us all. Sometimes I want/need to be alone. I am comfortable in a restaurant eating a meal or going to a movie unaccompanied, for in those places you never really are alone. My refuge has become my vehicle. I am in control in there, no one giving me suggested routes or directing me to the closest spot to the door of a given retail establishment. I don’t seem to be bound by the four walls of a building either. It feels of freedom. Just me and my music, if I chose to play music. I also MUST note how powerful I feel having that absolute power over the sounds in my car. Remember not-so-long ago we were subject to AM/FM radio.

On a particular Friday afternoon, I found myself in one of those moods that insisted I NEEDED to be alone. I did not argue or resist. I hoped in the car and took off for parts unknown (not too far away it was a Friday). I decided that I felt hungry enough to eat, but rather than grab something from a fast-food joint I opted for a grocery store meal. That felt better, healthier even though that may or may NOT have been the case. You can talk yourself into anything, if you put a little effort in. I even had to get out and walk to get said meal.

Mission accomplished, I had my food and a bottle on kombucha. I did not like the parking lot vibe of the market and sought a more secluded calm spot. I settled on what seemed to be a less frequented shopping plaza that had a national chain hardware store as an anchor. I found the perfect spot under a tree and the concrete planter assured at least one space on one side of me would be unoccupied. Plus, it was the middle of the day Friday, surely folks had other things to do. I was not worried in the least.

I got about 3 minutes into my meal when a small white sedan pulled into a spot directly across from me one space to the left. I tried NOT to notice or pay attention and continued eating my food. Now a full-sized red truck pulls in next to the planter on the other side. Let’s not forget the silver sports car, which had clearly just been waxed. I looked around the parking lot, there were plenty of spaces, closer to the stores, I felt it coming on. Maybe I would have felt better if everyone pulled out something to eat or even drink, but that didn’t happen. I found myself locked into paying attention to these people and to what they, in their respective cars, were doing. This annoyed me immensely and at first, I thought,” Just start the car up and move to another spot on the lot or go home”. However, I was now genuinely hungry. I decided to stay put and do what I intended to do in the first place. Then it happened and a smirk of a smile came across my face as I thought about my father…I said aloud,” Dad, you were right all along. They did park in these spaces just because I was here.”

Posted in How We Relate, Order of Appearance
27 Feb 2022
1 Comment

Wise and/or Comforting

In the blink of an eye, it happens. The shock and disbelief overwhelm you. No matter how many times before or how many after that this happens, you are NEVER really ready.

You hear the anguish in the one YOU are close to as it is felt. It resonates within your very being and you know how very helpless you are. You can only listen and offer your availability, somehow that seems so trite and insignificant. You want to do something, but you also have to be aware that you could inadvertently say something stupid in your effort to help. You recognize there is no real help that we mortals can actually provide. So you sit silently; if they are in your physical presence take their hand and hold it, hold them if they will allow you to. If you are not with them in person, bond with them in any spiritual fashion that is available. Pray. There are no answers or replies that will help at this point. Just be there. We MUST be there for one another. No man knows the hour… One day someone will have to be there for you, it is likely someone already has been there. Take note of our being so interconnected. Help the one in need to simply…breathe

Posted in One For My Friends, Quickbits
10 Feb 2022
1 Comment

Contentment In The Land Of “Frogz”

It had rained all night and rather hard at times too. However, in the morning as the dark blue sky gave way to light blue and orange, there was the sound of nature all around. She walked onto the “rocking chair” front porch where she was overtaken by the typical. Not since childhood had she seen, heard, or felt what she was presently experiencing. Then she realized there was a chorus going on; it could NOT be mistaken for subtle for it was all around. All of her adult life she had avoided frogz, they were her metaphor for men, borrowed from a survivor of a type of slavery. Yet now all around her the unseen frogs made their presence clear. The odd thing was they gave her a sense of comfort. She laughingly spoke, “waking up with frogz, maybe there is something to this..” Was this unexpected, beautiful awareness delivering another message?

The beauty of nature will give you a sense of calm, if you let it. As we continue our journey here on this planet, the things we held in high esteem, the things we thought important before now have to lend way to the freshness of our new existence. We hold on tight to that which we know that which is familiar. Yet with each passing day those same things are slipping away from us. They are getting outside our reach; they are impossible to keep up with but all along there is our reality which IS just inches away.

Stop playing catch up/ keep up, be on time and within your range. I am NOT saying slow down, merely stay inside the safety zone/YOUR safety zone. We have to become more aware of our limitations but not be afraid to explore the possibilities. Therefore, when things seem just overwhelming take a look around you may find that the problem is you have been overlooking your contentment because you were avoiding YOUR frogz, instead stop and listen to their soothing chorus. You may be stifling yourself because you think there are too many and you will be overtaken; there is plenty of room and you may not ever see what you fear. Finally, you be may surprised and find them NOT be nearly as bad as you thought.

Posted in How We Relate
06 Feb 2022
1 Comment

Misuses and Manipulations

Here we go again. Someone opens their mouth or writes an opinion piece or gets cause saying something that can come back and bite them in the butt. When and where does that happen you may naively ask? You needn’t look far. In our society one that vacillates from 1st Amendment rights to sticking the perpetual foot in one’s mouth it has become the flavor of the day. Yet at the heart of it all we find the real victim, WORDS.

Just because you went to school and successfully completed an English class or two does NOT mean you know how to use words, let alone use them wisely. We have been reduced to creatures that would rather text than talk. Ever hear, “If you don’t use it, you will lose it”. Well folks many have done just that..LOST IT!

Proclaiming the right to say what they please because the U.S. Bill of Rights grant them this freedom. I venture to say if presented that way many of these same folks would scratch their heads in confusion because “they” were speaking of the Constitution. YIKES!!!. This is a pondering research point in case you missed it.

Listen, just because you can does NOT mean you should. Joe Rogan, case in point. I do not follow this guy; prior to his apology for using racial slurs more than once on HIS PODCASTS, he was insignificant to me. I did bother to look him up and found where his fame came from. Still not impressed or moved by his idiocy (my opinion). I have to point out what is taking up considerable time; our ability to take whatever we are fed by media, celebrity, hearsay and then running with it. Please read this whole blog before you tear it, me, my opinion to shreds.

Political views, lack of concern for our fellow human beings, headline grabbing, and greed now shapes the way we see one another more than ever. What’s more we are rapidly losing our ability to physically speak/ talk to one another. I’ll just send a text is a way of life. Therefore, you have a society of people who don’t know what they are talking about, saying things they do not understand and NOT caring who they offend or hurt in the process. There is no room for tact, decorum, or facts in this society thus we are all becoming victims and causalities of this behavior. A great place to hide is in the phrase and one time rule of thumb Absence Of Malice. However, who needs that anymore? Just say anything. (sarcasm)

Take this from me, from this piece. I do not think anyone has the right to use a racial slur. I do believe many more than ones caught on tape (so to speak) do. I do believe in the freedoms granted by the 1st amendment, but I also believe it is misused, manipulated and left up to the interpretation of whomever has a stake in the game at any given moment. We as humans are all capable of making honest mistakes, we are also all capable of learning from them. If I do something or say something wrong allow me to make an effort to make it right. However, if I do this wrong thing in a blatant public fashion, take for granted I knew what I was doing and expect me to accept the consequences. I have no doubt Joe Rogan is sorry, I just question how and what he is actually sorry for. To the folks who do not think an apology is enough then figure out what is acceptable and then be willing to be the recipient of that SAME fate if you are ever caught doing the same/similar. Idealistic… perhaps but then this is ONLY my humble opinion.

Posted in How We Relate, Order of Appearance and tagged , ,
31 Jan 2022

My”Bloody”Ear

I just HAD to have that third earring! It has literally been a thorn in my side from the beginning. First, I grew up during an era when it was stylish to pierce from lobe to cartilage. I did not get my ears pierced until I was 16. While many of my other classmates and contemporaries went through the process of string, straws and finally actual earrings my lobes remained intact. Why you might ask. I certainly wanted them pierced like the other little girls. Something about having shiny little pieces of gold, silver, or birthstones in your ears just added to perceived beauty. Not many little girls do NOT want to be seen as pretty. My barrier was my mom. Mom had seen a girl with keloids, rather large ones hanging from her ears and decided she would NEVER pierce her ears and subsequently no daughter of hers would either. As we grew into young teenagers these decorations became more ornate and colorful. I now realized they were status symbols, attention getters.

Earrings had peace signs on them, black fists, happy faces, flowers, hearts, even marijuana leaves by the time we got to high school in the late 1970’s. However, I had “missed the boat” already. The last thing I wanted to be was noticed or have attention drawn to me. Yet at 16 armed with my beautiful best friend and her equally beautiful mother, I got up the nerve to ask my mother if I could pierce my ears. To my surprise mom said YES. Off to the mall we scurried and while I was denied the “pageantry” of strings and straws, I was at last able to finally sport cute shiny objects in my ears. They went virtually unnoticed.

Before I turned 20, I had the 2nd holes in my ears. I was on my way to being an ornate young lady with piercings lining my entire outer edge of my ears and that was where the process stopped. I spoke with females in passing and was informed that the closer one got to the cartilage the more painful and cumbersome the piercings would become. I wasn’t about no pain. Now we had ushered in multiple piercings, the men were now more readily sporting earrings (although men in other countries had been piercing their ears since before sailors went around the Cape of Good Hope and marked the accomplishment with a single gold hoop in the left ear). I still had my same two holes in each lobe without incident.

Flash forward, my inaugural trip to Hawaii I felt incomplete without getting that 3rd piercing. Therefore, I did it. I told the young lady at the piercing spot in the local mall I did not want it higher on my lobe but pointed her to an area that was beside my uppermost piercing. I naively thought she does this all the time if it would be a problem, she certainly would not do it AND she would tell me why. No such thing occurred. I had selected the diamond stud a bit more expensive made of better materials and because over the years I had discovered an allergy that prevented me from wearing “fashion” jewelry without suffering the consequence of itching rashes. I followed the instructions and waited for my ears to heal. The progress did not seem to be moving forward, it also did not seem to be any real problem associated with the piercing either. I wanted to be able to wear hoop earrings to Hawaii but since the ears had not healed completely that did not happen. During the past 4 years I have babied, treated and endured the sensitive 3rd piercing I just had to have! The left ear was the bigger problem, but the right would act up also.

Most recently I was in my bed and that left lobe felt itchy and sore to the touch. I was too lazy to get out of the bed and figured it was time to put some healing, anti-bacterial agent on my troublesome ear. I took the white gold hoop out finding noting unusual. As I applied the ointment, I felt a bit of fluid. It was wet enough to cause me to get up. I then saw the blood. I, quite annoyed, treated the ear. The process sent me on this psychological journey, that gave life to this piece. In the end I have decided if this ear gives me the slightest problem again, I am merely going to let it close up. I have long hair that mostly covers my ears anyway, so my everyday earrings are not so important now.

What I wonder is why it took so long and why such an arduous trip to discover I really did not need another piercing in my ears. A discovery I kinda made about 44 years ago. And I made it without the help of “my bloody ear” or my ear “bloody”.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , | Leave a comment

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