hafacenturyncounting

Motivated by a lack of material.

13 Mar 2022
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Lost In The Magic Of The Moment

Glancing out of the corner of my eye I saw the commercial for Lucky Charms cereal and the special edition for St. Patrick’s Day which would turn your milk green Smiling I recalled some of the things that got me excited as a child. The simple things that seemed so very important at that time. I fast forwarded to when my boys were little, and how we as parents were able to provide them with the excitement and joy which took them over the moon from the aisles of the local chain toy store. Furthermore, that same feeling being recreated for my grandchildren. And while the local chain toy store has gone by the wayside, the memories are fresh. Realizing, of course, many of these sources of joy were merely gimmicks devised by the marketing geniuses of their particular time did NOT take away that drawing power, at least not for the smallest consumers.

No one paid attention to the chemicals that we ingested to make our food turn a particular color, except some up-and-coming account manager that happened to notice this byproduct as his own kids ate this same cereal. No one cared that the poorly made plastic toys which sold for pennies were health hazards. All that was known or cared about, at the time was it was entertaining and it made us feel good. Now in our complicated lives where many are beginning to enjoy times that do not include work as we traditionally knew, we are also searching for something/anything that will occupy our time, slightly challenge our minds, and bring us some of the joy life has to offer. Our momentary magic…slightly outside our grasps yet clearly in sight..

Posted in Quickbits
13 Mar 2022
1 Comment

Don’t Act As Though I Am The Only One

I remember my dad pulling into a parking space that there seemingly was no one else around. Perhaps it was to catch his breath, perhaps it was to enjoy an ice cream cone without having eyes studying your every move.. but then it would happen. Another car would pull up and park in a space very near if not right beside us. He would become annoyed, angry at other times. However, the constant thought /statement was, “They just came over here/parked here because I was here.” The older I got the more ridiculous it seemed to me for him to say. My dad was a kind, smart, rational man. However, when that statement came out of his mouth, he seemed far from any of the afore mentioned adjectives.

The years are advancing, the body is changing, and the mind is playing tricks on us all. Sometimes I want/need to be alone. I am comfortable in a restaurant eating a meal or going to a movie unaccompanied, for in those places you never really are alone. My refuge has become my vehicle. I am in control in there, no one giving me suggested routes or directing me to the closest spot to the door of a given retail establishment. I don’t seem to be bound by the four walls of a building either. It feels of freedom. Just me and my music, if I chose to play music. I also MUST note how powerful I feel having that absolute power over the sounds in my car. Remember not-so-long ago we were subject to AM/FM radio.

On a particular Friday afternoon, I found myself in one of those moods that insisted I NEEDED to be alone. I did not argue or resist. I hoped in the car and took off for parts unknown (not too far away it was a Friday). I decided that I felt hungry enough to eat, but rather than grab something from a fast-food joint I opted for a grocery store meal. That felt better, healthier even though that may or may NOT have been the case. You can talk yourself into anything, if you put a little effort in. I even had to get out and walk to get said meal.

Mission accomplished, I had my food and a bottle on kombucha. I did not like the parking lot vibe of the market and sought a more secluded calm spot. I settled on what seemed to be a less frequented shopping plaza that had a national chain hardware store as an anchor. I found the perfect spot under a tree and the concrete planter assured at least one space on one side of me would be unoccupied. Plus, it was the middle of the day Friday, surely folks had other things to do. I was not worried in the least.

I got about 3 minutes into my meal when a small white sedan pulled into a spot directly across from me one space to the left. I tried NOT to notice or pay attention and continued eating my food. Now a full-sized red truck pulls in next to the planter on the other side. Let’s not forget the silver sports car, which had clearly just been waxed. I looked around the parking lot, there were plenty of spaces, closer to the stores, I felt it coming on. Maybe I would have felt better if everyone pulled out something to eat or even drink, but that didn’t happen. I found myself locked into paying attention to these people and to what they, in their respective cars, were doing. This annoyed me immensely and at first, I thought,” Just start the car up and move to another spot on the lot or go home”. However, I was now genuinely hungry. I decided to stay put and do what I intended to do in the first place. Then it happened and a smirk of a smile came across my face as I thought about my father…I said aloud,” Dad, you were right all along. They did park in these spaces just because I was here.”

Posted in How We Relate, Order of Appearance
27 Feb 2022
1 Comment

Wise and/or Comforting

In the blink of an eye, it happens. The shock and disbelief overwhelm you. No matter how many times before or how many after that this happens, you are NEVER really ready.

You hear the anguish in the one YOU are close to as it is felt. It resonates within your very being and you know how very helpless you are. You can only listen and offer your availability, somehow that seems so trite and insignificant. You want to do something, but you also have to be aware that you could inadvertently say something stupid in your effort to help. You recognize there is no real help that we mortals can actually provide. So you sit silently; if they are in your physical presence take their hand and hold it, hold them if they will allow you to. If you are not with them in person, bond with them in any spiritual fashion that is available. Pray. There are no answers or replies that will help at this point. Just be there. We MUST be there for one another. No man knows the hour… One day someone will have to be there for you, it is likely someone already has been there. Take note of our being so interconnected. Help the one in need to simply…breathe

Posted in One For My Friends, Quickbits
10 Feb 2022
1 Comment

Contentment In The Land Of “Frogz”

It had rained all night and rather hard at times too. However, in the morning as the dark blue sky gave way to light blue and orange, there was the sound of nature all around. She walked onto the “rocking chair” front porch where she was overtaken by the typical. Not since childhood had she seen, heard, or felt what she was presently experiencing. Then she realized there was a chorus going on; it could NOT be mistaken for subtle for it was all around. All of her adult life she had avoided frogz, they were her metaphor for men, borrowed from a survivor of a type of slavery. Yet now all around her the unseen frogs made their presence clear. The odd thing was they gave her a sense of comfort. She laughingly spoke, “waking up with frogz, maybe there is something to this..” Was this unexpected, beautiful awareness delivering another message?

The beauty of nature will give you a sense of calm, if you let it. As we continue our journey here on this planet, the things we held in high esteem, the things we thought important before now have to lend way to the freshness of our new existence. We hold on tight to that which we know that which is familiar. Yet with each passing day those same things are slipping away from us. They are getting outside our reach; they are impossible to keep up with but all along there is our reality which IS just inches away.

Stop playing catch up/ keep up, be on time and within your range. I am NOT saying slow down, merely stay inside the safety zone/YOUR safety zone. We have to become more aware of our limitations but not be afraid to explore the possibilities. Therefore, when things seem just overwhelming take a look around you may find that the problem is you have been overlooking your contentment because you were avoiding YOUR frogz, instead stop and listen to their soothing chorus. You may be stifling yourself because you think there are too many and you will be overtaken; there is plenty of room and you may not ever see what you fear. Finally, you be may surprised and find them NOT be nearly as bad as you thought.

Posted in How We Relate
06 Feb 2022
1 Comment

Misuses and Manipulations

Here we go again. Someone opens their mouth or writes an opinion piece or gets cause saying something that can come back and bite them in the butt. When and where does that happen you may naively ask? You needn’t look far. In our society one that vacillates from 1st Amendment rights to sticking the perpetual foot in one’s mouth it has become the flavor of the day. Yet at the heart of it all we find the real victim, WORDS.

Just because you went to school and successfully completed an English class or two does NOT mean you know how to use words, let alone use them wisely. We have been reduced to creatures that would rather text than talk. Ever hear, “If you don’t use it, you will lose it”. Well folks many have done just that..LOST IT!

Proclaiming the right to say what they please because the U.S. Bill of Rights grant them this freedom. I venture to say if presented that way many of these same folks would scratch their heads in confusion because “they” were speaking of the Constitution. YIKES!!!. This is a pondering research point in case you missed it.

Listen, just because you can does NOT mean you should. Joe Rogan, case in point. I do not follow this guy; prior to his apology for using racial slurs more than once on HIS PODCASTS, he was insignificant to me. I did bother to look him up and found where his fame came from. Still not impressed or moved by his idiocy (my opinion). I have to point out what is taking up considerable time; our ability to take whatever we are fed by media, celebrity, hearsay and then running with it. Please read this whole blog before you tear it, me, my opinion to shreds.

Political views, lack of concern for our fellow human beings, headline grabbing, and greed now shapes the way we see one another more than ever. What’s more we are rapidly losing our ability to physically speak/ talk to one another. I’ll just send a text is a way of life. Therefore, you have a society of people who don’t know what they are talking about, saying things they do not understand and NOT caring who they offend or hurt in the process. There is no room for tact, decorum, or facts in this society thus we are all becoming victims and causalities of this behavior. A great place to hide is in the phrase and one time rule of thumb Absence Of Malice. However, who needs that anymore? Just say anything. (sarcasm)

Take this from me, from this piece. I do not think anyone has the right to use a racial slur. I do believe many more than ones caught on tape (so to speak) do. I do believe in the freedoms granted by the 1st amendment, but I also believe it is misused, manipulated and left up to the interpretation of whomever has a stake in the game at any given moment. We as humans are all capable of making honest mistakes, we are also all capable of learning from them. If I do something or say something wrong allow me to make an effort to make it right. However, if I do this wrong thing in a blatant public fashion, take for granted I knew what I was doing and expect me to accept the consequences. I have no doubt Joe Rogan is sorry, I just question how and what he is actually sorry for. To the folks who do not think an apology is enough then figure out what is acceptable and then be willing to be the recipient of that SAME fate if you are ever caught doing the same/similar. Idealistic… perhaps but then this is ONLY my humble opinion.

Posted in How We Relate, Order of Appearance and tagged , ,
31 Jan 2022

My”Bloody”Ear

I just HAD to have that third earring! It has literally been a thorn in my side from the beginning. First, I grew up during an era when it was stylish to pierce from lobe to cartilage. I did not get my ears pierced until I was 16. While many of my other classmates and contemporaries went through the process of string, straws and finally actual earrings my lobes remained intact. Why you might ask. I certainly wanted them pierced like the other little girls. Something about having shiny little pieces of gold, silver, or birthstones in your ears just added to perceived beauty. Not many little girls do NOT want to be seen as pretty. My barrier was my mom. Mom had seen a girl with keloids, rather large ones hanging from her ears and decided she would NEVER pierce her ears and subsequently no daughter of hers would either. As we grew into young teenagers these decorations became more ornate and colorful. I now realized they were status symbols, attention getters.

Earrings had peace signs on them, black fists, happy faces, flowers, hearts, even marijuana leaves by the time we got to high school in the late 1970’s. However, I had “missed the boat” already. The last thing I wanted to be was noticed or have attention drawn to me. Yet at 16 armed with my beautiful best friend and her equally beautiful mother, I got up the nerve to ask my mother if I could pierce my ears. To my surprise mom said YES. Off to the mall we scurried and while I was denied the “pageantry” of strings and straws, I was at last able to finally sport cute shiny objects in my ears. They went virtually unnoticed.

Before I turned 20, I had the 2nd holes in my ears. I was on my way to being an ornate young lady with piercings lining my entire outer edge of my ears and that was where the process stopped. I spoke with females in passing and was informed that the closer one got to the cartilage the more painful and cumbersome the piercings would become. I wasn’t about no pain. Now we had ushered in multiple piercings, the men were now more readily sporting earrings (although men in other countries had been piercing their ears since before sailors went around the Cape of Good Hope and marked the accomplishment with a single gold hoop in the left ear). I still had my same two holes in each lobe without incident.

Flash forward, my inaugural trip to Hawaii I felt incomplete without getting that 3rd piercing. Therefore, I did it. I told the young lady at the piercing spot in the local mall I did not want it higher on my lobe but pointed her to an area that was beside my uppermost piercing. I naively thought she does this all the time if it would be a problem, she certainly would not do it AND she would tell me why. No such thing occurred. I had selected the diamond stud a bit more expensive made of better materials and because over the years I had discovered an allergy that prevented me from wearing “fashion” jewelry without suffering the consequence of itching rashes. I followed the instructions and waited for my ears to heal. The progress did not seem to be moving forward, it also did not seem to be any real problem associated with the piercing either. I wanted to be able to wear hoop earrings to Hawaii but since the ears had not healed completely that did not happen. During the past 4 years I have babied, treated and endured the sensitive 3rd piercing I just had to have! The left ear was the bigger problem, but the right would act up also.

Most recently I was in my bed and that left lobe felt itchy and sore to the touch. I was too lazy to get out of the bed and figured it was time to put some healing, anti-bacterial agent on my troublesome ear. I took the white gold hoop out finding noting unusual. As I applied the ointment, I felt a bit of fluid. It was wet enough to cause me to get up. I then saw the blood. I, quite annoyed, treated the ear. The process sent me on this psychological journey, that gave life to this piece. In the end I have decided if this ear gives me the slightest problem again, I am merely going to let it close up. I have long hair that mostly covers my ears anyway, so my everyday earrings are not so important now.

What I wonder is why it took so long and why such an arduous trip to discover I really did not need another piercing in my ears. A discovery I kinda made about 44 years ago. And I made it without the help of “my bloody ear” or my ear “bloody”.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , | Leave a comment
29 Jan 2022
1 Comment

Looking For Love and Waiting for It to Find You

Is this a lost battle before it begins. I have to wonder. As you are tossed in the dating pool, you struggle to tread the waters of uncertainty, new rules, perpetrators, and let downs. No one said this would be easy. There are also no guarantees there will be any successes, but oh how we dread being alone.

Who among us wants to be viewed as undesirable? Plagued by images of blissful couples, faced with cliche’s such as “there’s a hat for every head” and plenty others, each day we are whisked into a battle to protect our egos as well as our very being. What is the formula and is the formula good for everyone?

As a writer I came to realize that I gravitate towards situations that I feel as though I can control. What situations one might ask. I will only admit to, “most“. Therefore, as I examined the world through the eyes of an individual seeking companionship, I encountered the usual pitfalls. Beginning with I like you do you like me? Sadly, beyond the superficial the answer tends to be NO. What is it about attraction that is so complicated? One either appeals to you or they don’t. However, that is not where the confusion begins or ends.

Approaching this with logic seemed to be the way to go, coupled with the control freak in me, I was fairly confident this process would yield favorable results. Starting with honesty I laid out a seemingly accurate blueprint for what I was in search of. I did not believe it would be an instant success, but I felt with a little patience, in a few months I should have a couple of suitable suitors of which might evolve into something more. I now laugh at the naive and rather arrogant expectation. I also must add, I am not a quitter, so this is NOT over.

As I believe that the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. I also believe that falling in love does not necessarily make your heart skip a beat, but it allows it to maintain a steady rhythm. When you fall into your lover’s embrace it is not always the excitement that makes it real, substantial, and strong. It is the comfort of finding HOME; a safe, warm space for your heart…

Posted in Order of Appearance
29 Jan 2022
1 Comment

The Good Ones Really Are All Taken….

Today the second man I loved sent me the sweetest message ever…

Loving him, shaped the way any man subsequent to him would be loved by me.

And yes, he IS taken. His sweet words are innocent, no threat of anything dishonorable happening… merely confirming what I always knew. That, however, does not change the facts. “Facts” utilized in this case that ARE both subjective and interpretive. For this, in and of itself, presents a debate. “Facts” like the title suggests and sums up all at once. I will not be so cavalier as to say. ” I hope she knows what she has”… what do any of us ever really know. Moreover, what I see, and experience may NOT be what she does.

If you are fortunate enough to marry, say your high school sweetheart and have managed to remain with them, you may understand the depth love like the love I feel for this sweet man. A love that began in innocence and evolved into family. Love that makes your eyes see Apollo and Adonis rolled into one. Love that gives you a sense that he knows more than Einstein and he has the heart of a child and peaceful soul of Gandi. What seems to be the description of a schoolgirl crush can still exist for a woman far beyond her teen years. Don’t feel bad or conscious about this. Embrace it, take in the joy it can provide for your mind, heart, and very soul.

However, as we return to the very real belief, acceptance, and title of this piece we invade a space that can be painful, disappointing, and disheartening. Who among us wants to visit such spaces? Are these beings real or are they a creation of our hearts that are edited by our loving souls? Do we one day wake abruptly and realize this person was the product of a dream.

Then it happens; he catches you as you stumble, he helps you pick up the bag you dropped. You cannot believe how kind and gallant he is, but you are forced to watch him walk away with his unmistakable “lady fair“. More proof that you are destined to live with the suggestion of this title. ____ years in the making and a simple song takes you back to a time when you were the one that others envied. Did you appreciate your position when you occupied it? Are all the good ones really taken or is it simply YOUR good one is seemingly out of your reach.

Posted in How We Relate, Uncategorized
29 Jan 2022
1 Comment

Pedestal

As I sat in the audience, listening to him sing my heart raced. The first time I met her in person, I was all smiles and tongue-tied. These beings, these people can/shall remain nameless and faceless because I am sure my readers can fill in the blank spaces with individuals that fit more personally. The point here IS that they simply are.

Feeling so excited, feeling elated for the simplest of things and experiences is NOT the issue. It is what we do with these same experiences in regard to people in our lives. There is nothing wrong with recognizing greatness, it is wrong when we place this greatness in direct conjunction with an otherwise flawed human being. YES, I said flawed, for minus the thing we become in awe of/with, they, just like us are human; weak and vulnerable. They have the same propensity to error as we do. Yet in those moment in time, we ignore this fact, and we can only hear the producer of that angelic sound, we can only see that possessor of that magnificent face, we can only inhale the intellect that flows from the individual’s words. Then we identify that which they do as, them. It is with this assignment that we lose sight of the fact that they ARE just like us. The difference is by virtue of hard work, a relentless spirt or luck-of-the-draw their innate super-power has emerged.

Greatness is all around and within us, it is around the corner at the grocery store, it is in our local classrooms, it is at our dining room table, we need only to recognize it. Therefore, continue to admire and respect the ones that have caught your eye, the ones you have lent your ears to, but always remember…IDOLS HAVE CLAY FEET. Those we regard as great should sit beside us not above us.

Posted in How We Relate
22 Jan 2022
1 Comment

Senior’s Day Discounted

It had disappeared a few years ago to the dismay of many. Afterall, we have earned any little retail perk the grocers, clothing stores, etc. cared to bestow on us. We all know what the reversal was about; greed AND the fact our group, the baby boomers, are just too doggone big!

I could not believe it when one of the two markets I frequented decided the discount day was to be no more. I then decided I would take MY business to the other store for that reason alone. Low and behold a few short months later my second choice followed suit and my discount day was totally gone. I mean it wasn’t a huge savings, it really broke down to sales tax, but it was the principle of it all. I once again shifted my loyalty to another store, a store that did not give the discount either, but it felt like a “show of power”. This new store never had given the discount, yet I made the informed decision to spend my hard-earned retired dollars at a place that had no real care about where I was in my working career or chronologically in life itself. I told myself, “At least this market did not start something and then abruptly stop.”

Well, I can happily report our senior discount has returned. Here I am paying homage to store chains that are doing something that is a tiny step above dangling a carrot ahead of a racehorse. Yet, we will accept this perk. The parking lot which is normally pretty empty in the early morning of a weekday is packed. I find there is a shortage of the smaller shopping carts, but notice the large ones designed for parents with babies and toddlers are in abundance. I ventured inside; I did not really need anything much so I feel like I can make my selections without the aid of a cart, but I did find a lone abandoned one to utilize. My peers were out in force, moving up and down the aisles with purpose if not with speed. We smiled from behind our masks at one another as we approached the check-out area. I went to self -service to avoid the wait, after all I AM a busy retired lady. I asked the attendant if I needed anything to note I am to get the senior discount he politely scanned his barcode, and I was ready to go. I was not asked for I.D. nor was I questioned about my age to determine eligibility. I simply checked out and proceeded to the parking lot.

I casually glanced around, noticing once again the gray brigade out in force. In a passing thought I found myself annoyed at the speed in which one of my elderly brethren was moving, I wanted to return my cart to the designated area but continue to be socially distance. Finally, the way was cleared, I thought of my mom later in life and how she vehemently objected to going to senior centers, because as she would say, she did NOT want to be around a bunch of old people. What has our society done to us? Then it occurred to me that with that small break in price (given and taken at will) …the senior discount, we too were being slighted, reduced, and yes discounted.

Posted in Uncategorized and tagged ,

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