hafacenturyncounting

Motivated by a lack of material.

22 Jul 2013
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Stepping Out

Once there was a little girl who had lost her way. A kind handsome stranger saw her wandering around appearing to be lost. This gentle man went to her and made things better. He not only showed her the way she needed to go, he went along to protect her. Only after awhile it didn’t seem like they were getting to the destination, she could see it in the distance but every day as they seemingly moved closer the destination still appeared to be in the far off distance. She began to question in her mind if the kind stranger really knew the way. The paths they took started looking like roads they had gone down before. Time went on but they still did not get to where she was going. He took her to a beautiful house but once inside over time it became a cave. She could always see it was light outside, but feared what might be waiting because she had been there so long. One day she went to the door while he was sleeping, she opened it and stood there.

Are you standing on the brink of something? Do you need to take that all important move, but for one reason or another something holds you back. I think the most difficult thing to do is recognize what is missing or what needs correction/ adjustment in regards to self. Pointing that “finger of blame” is far too easy for a lot of us. A crutch does not simply support you, after a while you become dependent on it.

Many are broken and need healing, but once the healing process has taken place you have to be brave enough to test those areas, stand alone, and yes “get to steppin”.

Posted in Quickbits and tagged ,
22 Jul 2013
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And The Guilt Rests Where?

It comes across my mind many times, on many occasions and in conjunction with certain events, how much we are products of our environments. This not necessarily a bad thing, but truth is we do have to work hard to resist the bad behavior we are often time exposed to.

Being a product of your environment sometimes affords you certain perks that you overlook and never think about, for when it is good we bask in the moment. Yet on the flip side; when denied something you want or feel deserving of and you cannot get, what does one do.

I came face to face with my bad several years ago and I live with it. I was very sad and disappointed to find yet another negative, most recently. Don’t misunderstand here pointing out these two particular instances is not to suggest this is representative of all my faults and shortcomings, this is an illustration and a cross section.

I sat in front of my laptop typing and I didn’t like what I saw. I never would have guessed this and had I not been in the midst of this wrongdoing I myself detest, I probably would have noticed. I didn’t see or pay attention to the signs. Distracted by circumstances I allowed myself to slip into survival mode and that also became my silent excuse for my behavior.

As human beings this is a part of what we do, we adjust and we adapt, it makes it possible for us to continue and thrive. However, sometimes the toll we pay for this survival is costly and I am not just speaking of monetarily. Starting this piece I touched on the benefits we received as being part of a certain environment, now we are exploring the consequence. That is why I used the word “guilt” in opposed to “responsibility” in the title.

My suggestion to solve this is, if you see after a considerable effort that things around you are not changing, you make a change and distance yourself from that undesirable situation. As an adult you cannot help where you come from, but you can chose to extract yourself once you discover you are not happy with the surroundings. If you don’t you will look up and a mirror will be reflecting your image, as that thing you were so unhappy and intolerant of.Then you will know where the guilt rests.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , , ,
16 Jul 2013
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XIV-Hafawhatyousee

As I move away from this case (Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman) something draws me back; the same as last year when I wrote about it initially, it feels like there is a weight on my chest.  I say what I have said in the past; Serve on jury duty, become familiar with the law(as best you can) and remember”life isn’t fair”. Just because you have the right to do/be does not necessarily mean it will be so. Unfortunate reality, so govern yourself accordingly.

This is a good place for former and current police officers(black especially) to do  more good for the community. Talk to the youth, let them hear from one who was in the trenches what is seen/perceived and  show them how to apply that information. You hate to think about a civilian taking the law into his own hands and getting away with it, but remember he was a “COP-WANNABE”, there is a difference. He wanted to be “seen”as worthy.

We as outsiders(not happy with but respectful of this verdict) have to get some solace that this is not over for George Zimmerman. State Court, Supreme Court, Magistrate Court, Court of Public Opinion (no order/relevance implied). Talk about celebrity and infamy. Zimmerman no matter what will never walk down a street, go to get a bite to eat, obtain employment without having to look over his shoulder because maybe some vigilante may decide to take the law into their own hands. For whatever he thought he saw that night in February 2012 and acted upon, this is now his reality.

The Martin family will never feel better for no court in the land, no amount of money on this planet can EVER replace what was lost, their child and they will never be able to forget that.

Then there was the case in New York 2007 John H White- a black man convicted of shooting and killing an unarmed white teenager at point-blank range. He was convicted of manslaughter. This case was racially charged and once again each side accusing the other of playing “the race card”. You can review this case on your own, but if it does nothing else it demonstrates how we, the layman public, are manipulated and fooled into believing we have a universal understand of what goes on  and where it takes place, when we are in fact only spectators and speculators.

I do not know if it has been done before, but a thought did occur to me. It was spurned by these type cases and the climate subsequent to them, and of course my friends and loved ones, who motivate me on a continuous basis. What if in court everybody looks the same when a case comes before a jury. When I say looks the same I mean everyone is intentionally made up to have the appearance of the same multi-cultural/ethnic group. If you truly intend on taking race out of an equation you have to make it so no one can put it into play in the first place.

My favorite Author John Grisham  demonstrated and characterized it best in  his book ” A Time To Kill” I will merely summarize it here; the only way justice will truly be served in cases where different races are involved is for a jury to see the individuals as they see themselves. They must be able to relate. We want  to believe we are more intelligent than that, we have moved forward, and we are sophisticated.

Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream of a country where people are NOT judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character, cannot take place if people are constantly bombarded with negative images which make them back away from opportunities to get to know a person’s character. They retreat to primitive ways and deal with what is simple; that which is right before their very eyes, an image. Yet we all have to admit there is quite a bit more to us all, than that which you see on the surface.

Our country takes a great deal of time notating the diversity of her people, but it is not always in a positive endearing light. There is pride when the Justice System is spoken of.  She smiles and boasts that she is “the land of opportunity” but what of the fine print; as long as you adhere to the preferences, visual or implied, of those who are in charge at any given time. “Equal protection under the law”, except if you look this way. I am expecting, living, reacting to that which is written and read, that which I see. America, she has grown up but she has nonetheless grown farther apart in the process.

Posted in Hafwaythroughpoints and tagged , ,
12 Jul 2013
1 Comment

My Soul To Take

On days when you cannot put your finger on what exactly is wrong, there is a sensation inside of your body that allows you to feel. Is it your mind playing tricks on you? Is that pounding really just your heart?

I remember “A Child’s Prayer”; it was on a wooden plaque, the writing was royal blue set on a white china background, with the picture of a young baby sleeping. It was my grandmothers and she gave it to me. When my boys were young I taught the prayer to them and the same plaque resided on their bedroom wall until adulthood. I thought I had lost track of it but was happily informed it is still safe with my younger son.

I would, at times, make myself think of what it would feel like to lose a child. I know I could never comprehend this nor do/did I want to. The mere words in the prayer “if I should die..” made me shudder. My granddaughter and I say this age old prayer, and she smiles when we say it together because at 3 years of age she certainly has no idea what this means. To her it is just another attempt of her Abuela to do something that is remotely like singing.

Over a year ago a young man/teenager/child was killed in Florida. There were so many questions, so many perceived miscarriages of justice, and more media coverage than you could digest. I was angry, I was hurt, I wanted answers and I wasn’t even related to this child. We have to characterize Trayvon Martin as a child because he was in fact a minor. When I saw a graphic photo of this child lying in the grass after being fatally shot, I began crying again. I was gasping for air and unable to conceive of or comprehend what the people who knew and loved this child felt.

I  have prayed for him and his loved ones, I pray for justice, I pray for all the parties involved, because this is a tragedy on all levels; all people who hear of it are touched by it, whether they want to be or not. No matter the outcome of this trial the Zimmerman family will never be the same either, and people we cannot be insensitive to them, because George  is their loved one. I stand by my previous comments, that there will be no winners in this case.

People who inhabit our prisons, people who live in the streets, people who commit crimes against and in our society did not just magically appear out of thin air. They are the product of a union; somewhere along the lines of their lives someone loved and cared for them, just as sure as something went wrong and caused them to go wrong.

Pray the Lord takes these souls; soul of people whose lives are cut short or merely end, but also pray to the Lord that His essence takes  hold of the souls of the living. For if He has their souls/our souls, that are so closely interconnected, we will no longer have to cry for ones who have been lost to the Earth, to their loved ones, and to us all.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged , , ,
12 Jul 2013
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VIBE

What is it you are sending out? Is the mood you are in reflective of your condition?

Sending out negative only allows it to bounce back. Frankly, negative is something most of us could do without or deal with a lesser amount of. It also comes to us so easily, so effortlessly that we may not even be aware that it is happening. You have to realize unlike charm and personality, your VIBE cannot be turned off and on at will. It is deep within you, a part of your being, like your individual pheromone. Now you know why some stranger will talk to you, or maybe decide not to based on something you have no idea about. Yet it is happening anyway. It is in the air, atmospheric if you will.

It is autumn, it is warm in the day and cool at night. Later in the season it will be cool in the day and somewhat cold in the night, but that’s okay. This beautiful time of year gives off a VIBE that makes you want to breathe in sunshine and sway with the leaves to a tune of the crisp breezes. After you take in some of the wonders of the day go out and spread some of that beauty to someone who is in need; you don’t need to say anything they will feel it, they will feel you, they will get your VIBE.

Posted in Quickbits and tagged
12 Jul 2013
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Tired

Ever wake up and feel like rolling over and covering your head? Sure you have. What makes us tired? Well there are the textbook answers, working hard, being under stress, not getting enough rest. Yet, the one thing that doesn’t come to mind and should be first on that list is from not doing anything. When we humans don’t use what we have, we lose it. Muscles atrophy and so do our brains.

I had this thought as my mother crossed my mind. She is 79 never learned how to drive but you’d be hard pressed to find her at home during the waking hours of the day, unless she just wasn’t feeling well. While we do not necessarily need to be in a constant state of motion, we do not need to overdo the rest state either. You are tired because you don’t do anything, and you don’t do anything because your are tired. Now injury and illness will slow you down, but that is not the audience this is directed at.

The state of Georgia tops the nation in childhood obesity, and our children are now developing adult-like diseases. Remember when kids went outside to PLAY? It is hot outside but I have to let you in on a secret, “IT’S SUMMER”! There was recess in elementary school and physical education in middle and high school. The release of energy after being made to sit, listen, and learn had/has benefits that we are now seeing are vital. Plus the habit of inactivity is a pattern that can and will follow you throughout your life.

Now in the morning when the alarm goes off don’t cover your head or throw something at the clock. Take a moment and do some deep breathing, fill your lungs up and release that oxygen, it will get the blood flowing and your heart pumping. Roll out of bed onto the floor and do a little yoga and stretching. Make your way into the bathroom get refreshed and ready to face another day, and be grateful that you are here to face that day.

Posted in Quickbits and tagged ,
12 Jul 2013

Can I Get A Witness

There you are sitting in a parking lot, BAAM!! You look around and you see two people arguing and it is clear to you there has been an accident/collision of some sort. You proceed to go into the sandwich shop next door.

Later at the department store  you walk by a display where the mannequin is postured in a fashion that makes it virtually impossible to pass without hitting it. You hit it and catch the model before it falls. Moments after you pass you hear a scream and the sound of metal and glass shattering. You see a display fall and run toward the commotion, there is a young woman on the floor rubbing her head. You go to her, asks is she okay and offer any help you can provide. A member of the store’s staff comes and you leave. You have done your part here.

How many times have you observed a situation or an incident that made you look twice but did not move you to act or get involved? I realize this is asking a great deal of most of us. We stand  a chance of being told off or to mind our own business, we may do the wrong thing and be in trouble for trying to help. What do we do, we go about OUR business and don’t get involved. Do you ever ask yourself,”Why?”

Let’s explore something else here, the insurance aspect.  There are times when responsibility is questioned what gives the edge is someone who has no vested interest. This outside disinterested party can easily mean the difference of a repaired vehicle minus out-of-pocket costs versus none. After all after being involved in a wreck is enough of a trauma, couple that with having to pay for something that was not your fault merely adds insult to injury.

Very recently a couple of things happened and as a result of these incidents, I know am going to pay closer attention to things and be an active participant whenever the opportunity presents itself to me. Now you must exercise caution involving accidents and injuries, but the one thing you can almost always do is give an eyewitness account, if you are one. Always bear in mind one day the shoe could be on the other foot; you may need some stranger, some independent witness to come forward and say,” I saw what happened and here’s my information.”

Posted in As Consumers and tagged , , | Leave a comment
03 Jul 2013

A Truly Beautiful Soul

It doesn’t happen often, but when it does no matter how subtle, you know it. You encounter a person who has” light” emanating from them.

Today I attended the memorial of one of those oh-so- rare souls. I have wanted to write something about her but avoided doing anything until I thought I was ready.

Something is missing in my life, but it is still deep within my heart. The love of my friend. I know the love is not gone it just isn’t in the easy access form I have grown familiar with. I would not be honest if I said I am okay with this, but I also recognize the fact I have no control here. I sat in the pew today, thinking what a wonderful lady and friend I had in Kay. I watched and listened to her two brave children tell stories, read poems, and give tribute to their darling mother. The tears streamed down my face, I could not stop. The odd thing was usually when I cry like this, there is a lump in my throat and an indescribable pain. This was not the case today. I was able to sit and listen and feel; I knew my friend was okay, and I knew the hurt I felt was simply stemmed from my missing her.

I was a part of a celebration of a life and the dedication of a truly beautiful soul. The words flowed in a manner that you could feel everyone’s, who was in your presence, affirmation that what was said was true.  We all knew her bright cheerful smile and positive outlook. There wasn’t enough time to cover all the things she meant to all those she touched, so instead we had a few moments to sit and reflect quietly. For what is life but a collection of moments. I can say I was touched by an individual who looked at life with fresh and renewed hope each day. Years on this Earth and interactions with people did not make her lose faith in the good that existed, now matter how deeply it may have been buried in some.

God gives us individuals like my friend to remind us that there is a rainbow out there, and just because you cannot see it does not make it any less real. I am a better person because I knew Kathryn L.”Kay” Short and I will forever remember her with a smile.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged , , | Leave a comment
18 Jun 2013

Bittersweet

This is about trying to understand what life has in store for you and where you stand. I want you to live forever; as long as you can live the way I know makes you, you. If you knew tomorrow was your last day on Earth what would you differently? Moreover, what would you do?

I watched as yet another display of anger came spewing out. I am so close it is hard to remain silent and indifferent, but you know what you know. When you are in a no win situation do you really get any comfort in,”Well at least I said what was on my mind”? Anger possesses characteristics of a disease; it eats away at you, it builds on weakness, and finally if it is allowed to go untreated it destroys.

I thought about my own hurt and anger. I have been challenged this June. I try to stay positive, but there are moments that no matter what I tell myself I just want to cry. I feel the tears well and burn in my eyes, the lump forms in my throat. I believe the only one who can make me feel better is no longer around and I hurt some more. Indulge me as I lament.

However, this is called “Bittersweet”, I have to bring something light, positive and uplifting to this and make a connection. Trust me this is a task, because I am wallowing. Living each day as though it were your last and you knew as much. My friends on the west coast reminded me of summer jazz concerts, I had to go back to the days of the ones held in San Diego, they of course were talking about the ones held annually at the Hollywood Bowl. There was talk of dancing in the aisles, great music, good food, and strangers sharing their “whatever”. That made me smile, I recalled the sharing.

In a big crowd of people, who don’t know one another, the common link makes them feel like, “I want to connect with whomever I get in the area of”. Our human antennae go up and we are sensitive to what is around us; there is so much around us that we don’t know where to start our search, it makes us want to dance and sing and connect. Then there is the intimate setting of your home watching her favorite Disney cartoon; her favorite song plays and she beckons, no she insists you get up and dance with her, without a second thought you do what she wants, because she gets you, you are as elated as she is, you are connected .

We have all traveled down these roads before and undoubtedly will make more  trips before our life on this planet is over. I have long since gotten beyond being angry at God for taking precious wonderful beings away from me, now I have to work on being able to cope with the lonely aching that is certain to follow. The void for these dear ones, that only they themselves can fill.  One solution may come in the form of being sure to go ahead and immerse yourself in loved ones and happy moments, in order to have something to draw from later.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , | Leave a comment
16 Jun 2013
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June Gloom

Southern Californians know this term ever so well. It is a reference to the cloudy gray mornings we experience during the early summer month. This particular June as I sit in my Georgia home I am experiencing the gloom for another reason. I am suffering from a case of change with complications arising from loss.

I often have spoken of change and how we have to embrace it for there is no progress with out it and so-on. I am telling you that I am resisting the changes I have experienced lately with unrelenting determination. I want so much to retreat to that which is familiar, I need my safe haven, and I want to return to that which I know.

Earlier in the week I was told of the passing of a long time friend of my family. A lady who I have know for some 20 plus years. I went to school with her children, watched her grandchildren become adults and parents themselves. She is a part of my history, those of us who grew up on 107th Street have a connection the equivalent of a bloodline. She was a neighbor, she was a friend, she was family and she IS loved.

Not 24 hours earlier I was calling to check on my dear friend, who I haven’t known as many years, but in emotional ties the bond is unquestionable, only to be told she had suffered a fall which hospitalized her and the prognosis is NOT what I would want it to be. Her children a source of pure joy, her seven grandsons jewels in her crown of pride, and of course her best friend/ companion/ love for 65 years; I do not have words to express what it feels like to be in the company of a life fulfilled, after knowing this lady for such a short time. I shared a little prayer I say when I am drawing on my faith with my dear friend’s precious daughter.  “Not my will oh Lord but Yours”.

Trying not to cry, I want to say something about these two ladies I love. I feel so fortunate and blessed to have had them in my life. I don’t question the Lord but I do wonder what did I do to gain such favor to have Him put these special people in my life. Unfortunately, I would be lying if I said I completely understand why He decided to take them from me when He did.  I know there are Christians who would tell me that I am toying with the “Wrath of Hell” saying such things but God is all knowing..  Therefore He is quite aware of my state.

God gives us balance, not everything is one way, although at times we cannot see beyond our circumstances. My younger brother reached his milestone half century mark, thankfully he joined the ranks of us that talk in decades instead of years, and laugh about it. Father’s Day is  less than an hour and a half away on the east coast; a day when we pay homage to the men in our lives that have inspired and supported us like no other. All this midst “June Gloom”.

All of these things are/have been made possible because of God. Tonight when I say my prayers I will thank Him for all he has done for me, blessings He has bestowed, people He has put in my path, and I shall ask Him for strength to endure the things that present themselves to me that I think I would much rather not encounter. Tonight I will ask Him to care for these two beautiful ladies and their loving families in ways only He can. Through all of this I know I will be okay with time, but I know one day someone will be praying for me because it may NOT seem as though I will in fact be alright on that particular occasion.

In closing,”Trust in the Lord”.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged , , , ,

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