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Motivated by a lack of material.

Archive for the month “April, 2013”

17 Apr 2013

Too Much Month Left

At the end of the money. Smile. It is an old story and in these economic times probably more familiar and common than we would care to believe. Seemingly there is no end to this in sight.

I have to admit this has been a challenging first quarter for me and my business, but on the up side we are still here.  As we fight and claw our way up or even back we have to realize that we may become soiled in the process. Don’t worry about getting dirty or breaking a sweat, that is an indicator that you are exerting some effort. Hard work does pay off and it does this in ways that we sometimes miss.

Travel back in time with me to the movie The Karate Kid (the first one… ah in an era of remakes), when Daniel felt defeated, that he wasn’t making any progress toward his goal of learning Karate; out of his anger and disappointment, when he was ready to give up he was shown he had been being trained and he had in fact  gotten what he had asked for. It just didn’t come in the form or way HE thought it should come.

February the shortest month of the year was not very good to me and I was hurrying it away, but in my rushing forward perhaps I missed sometime that may have helped me in the long run. The quick fix is not always the best fix. I have offered the suggestion to slow down throughout many of my blogs. I sincerely embrace that concept, I also admit it is not always easy to grasp it in tough times.

Half way through the month of April as the season of spring draws closer to an end and if you find yourself in the dilemma of having too much month left, remember challenges give way for your creativity to come to life. I will join you in that thought.

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17 Apr 2013
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Time In Purgatory

Not being Catholic, I believe Purgatory is among some of the most familiar concepts non-Catholics are familiar with. Now note I said familiar, NOT knowledgeable. Through time and interpretation the definition of Purgatory has changed, but in general most associate it with purification; pain and suffering on a temporary basis.

As I wrote that I allowed my mid to wander a bit briefly to a time period in which people were tortured and killed in public in the name of God? The concepts surrounding God in Christianity does address His wrath, but what on Earth ever made people think they were qualified and capable to do God’s work, when it comes to punishment. God is quite capable of handling ALL things Himself. Certainly given the nature of man he would not rely on us to handle such a thing. Man, in his ever present arrogance, decided man was capable, qualified, and he therefore acted. I will move on.

Thus, what we associate Purgatory with is what man has decided it should be. I will not get into a religious debate, I have said before I am not versed enough. I do possess a minor understanding; and can see how concepts in the wrong hands, even religious ones, can get carried away.

During an unhappy time or particularly difficult period, do you ask WHY? When you ask why, do you also provide yourself with an answer, an explanation. For if you do then you are ” treading dangerous waters”. God allows us free will, but when decision that we make do not turn out like we thought they should or were not to our liking we blame God in one way or another.

On a massive scale the idea associated with prison; the way we deal with crime and punishment, is this a distorted solution. For how many actually come away from that experience better than before? I believe you had to have good in you, but you just needed something to bring it out of you, in order to survive the ordeal and then have the desire to be new and improved.

One thing the idea of Purgatory does, is it puts you in a place that allows you to think; although I cannot and do not see how one could think or reflect in a place where pain and suffering were so great. Perhaps, the submission part is all that is needed here.

I think God wants us because he loves us, nothing more. If we examine other aspect of our humanity we are not a very good gamble. He gives us free will to do right or wrong. We are not worthy, yet he loves us anyway.  On those bad or challenging days remember this. You have the reins over your life, and what you do with this control is entirely within your power. Make your choices wisely.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged , , , , ,
15 Apr 2013
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Brother, Brother, Brother…..

Sounds familiar doesn’t it? Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On“, you’re right. If you don’t have one you cannot begin to understand, or can you.

This is a story of brothers from three different angle. The theme song would be He Aint Heavy…. as well as the depiction by Gilbert Young of the man on a wall reaching down to aid a sole arm of another to help him up.

I haven’t spoken to one of mine in years. Periodically it bothers me. I think we all hate being wrong. I don’t have a real problem with that. Mine lies in my perception of wrongdoing and the perpetrator’s unwillingness/inability to come clean.  Things change. This is a bigger deal for me here. I think it does fall into the category of forgiveness. I felt rather smug when I initiated this challenge some 13 years ago. Now, not so much. I grew up with this guy. We had some good times and shared our mother, father, and siblings.  I hear his health is not that great and then I think what if he passes. None of us is promised tomorrow. I wonder can I live with myself and I tell myself, yes. That is a sad commentary to my character. Grade thus far, FAIL.

My best friend is in search of hers. His existence eats at her in a minimalist fashion, yet it is always there. There may even be more than one ( possible twins). She cannot be sure and the one source that could confirm this and help is unwilling. So she searches on her own. We who have siblings and know who they are where they are cannot begin to imagine what she is going through. Hey I am her “bestie” and I have admitted as much to her. I think as time goes on and we feel ourselves growing older there are “feelers” sent out, because we are still trying to connect with ourselves and we feel the time is drawing closer to the end. Maybe we just want to know for reasons that absolutely cannot be explained, but we feel it just the same.  Grade thus far, INCOMPLETE

My sons are so close the younger believes and acts in a fashion that demonstrates his brother knows it all. There is a love and like for one another that I hope and believe will always be there. They play and wrestle like they did as children. We look at them as their parents and ask, ” Do they realize they are no longer 5 and 9 years of age?” Yet one marvels in this same thought. One brother offers to help his friend in need and there is no one to help him provide this assistance, no one except his brother, who stops his fun and relaxing day to go help a virtual stranger move. Why, because that is his brother’s request and he is there because he knows it is the same in regards to him if the “shoe is on the other foot”.  I can feel comfortable that theirs was/is a success that my husband and I conveyed to the two of them. In spite of the fact we each have a very different relationship with our respective brothers.  Grade thus far, EXCELLENT

Three vastly different stories, still ongoing still having possible plot changes. Our relationships will always be challenging, because they are guided and affected by the individuals involved. Happy endings, sad endings, or questionable endings. By and large you may know one of these stories, you may live one of these stories.

I offer this be kind to one another; for the truth is we are all we have and in the grand scheme of things, in the end, in theory, aren’t we all related? Aren’t they all our brothers?

Posted in Epiphany and tagged , ,
15 Apr 2013
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Maybe God Is Trying To Tell You Something

I was headed to work early one morning. Not in a particularly good mood. My job was 45 miles away one direction, I disliked my work, my co-workers thought I had denied them something due to my mere presence, and the Postmaster did not want me there. This was my reality at the time. It took me about an hour and 15 minutes to get to Acworth  from my home in Duluth. However more than my travel time to the job, I had to prepare myself for the environment. I was angry and distant from everyone at that place, all I wanted to do was get away from there. Hating my job took on a whole new meaning at Acworth.

I was headed north on the I-75 one cold January morning about 5:15 a.m. when I saw the red lights flashing. I did not have a lot of traffic around me but I did have to slow down. In the darkness I could not make out the vehicle, I do not even know how many were involved. I knew, I could feel someone was leaving this Earth at that moment. I believe I witnessed a soul passing. I felt it and I was overcome with emotion. When I arrived at the post office that same morning and opened it I sat down after it was disarmed and cried.  I did not know it at the time but before the month of January was out; I would be transferred to a location less than 6 miles away from my home, working in an environment where my co-workers held no animosity for me, and my boss was glad to have an assistant.

As I saw smoke rising from what was left of what had to be a car, I was eerily reminded of  bad accident I was involved in back in California in 1989. You don’t forget head on collisions that you walk away from. The same misty like smoke passed in front of me when my Jaguar came to a stop just short of a brick wall. My father had only passed away less than a month earlier. I always felt he was with me and protecting me that night.

However, the message that was sent to me was how quickly things can change and do not put you heart into “things”. I loved that CAR, it was all I had wanted in a vehicle. It meant way too much to me and as I sat pinned in it unable to move. I remember crying for the loss of my car. I also remember crying as I realized the Lord was speaking to me about something more than that CAR. I did not realize I was doing it before the accident, but I stopped worshiping things that night.

Sometimes you are in a situation that does not allow you to see beyond yourself, you are unable to see the “big picture”. God will step in when and where you least expect it and show you a way or wake you up so you don’t miss something you need to see or act upon. I know; He has literally waken me from sleep to show me something. What do you do when God is trying to tell you something? It is not always easy to read, it may be unclear to you what the Lord is saying to you at the time, but you know there is a message and it is to you. I will tell you what I do, I pray. Not anything in particular, I just pray to let God know I hear Him. I just did.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged ,
14 Apr 2013

They Are Getting Long

I am not trying to be long-winded or in this case long-penned, but it is happening. The last few post have been over 700 words. I have even created category (QUICKBITS), that houses my “shorties” in it. However, what do you supposed these lengthy pieces are all about? Personally I give it to comfort, time, and a clearer head. Not necessarily in that order.

I decided to go back to the gym, now I did not consciously decide to stop. I had allowed the stresses of my life make me feel so overwhelmed I did not feel like doing anything but staying in a constant state of being aware of my constant state of worry and stress. My confusion and discord was spreading to wherever I was (i.e. my office, my dinner table, the family room, and my nightstand). This had to stop.

I  picked up all of my confusion from the respective areas, went in the office( I stayed out of the office most of the time because it was such a catastrophe), and did not come out until I had organized the paperwork. The fog was beginning to clear and things began to make sense again. Working-out is a release; given that why wouldn’t I want to give myself a break, never mind the added perk of getting firm and fit. I started back and I felt better immediately and saw results externally within a very short time period. Placebo effect, perhaps, but in the meantime I will continue. Think chocolate is addicting, try adrenaline.

My work hours had changed, but it seemed as though I never had any time. This came about due to the illusion of being overwhelmed due to the mess I was exposing myself to. Once the mess was cleared away, I no longer had to sit around/look at/concentrate on, the impending clean up project. Now I had time to dedicate to the blog.

Finally, I know what I want to say and how I want to say it to my slowly increasing audience. I have found a comfort zone here. I work hard at NOT being too personal in my writing. I do have opinions and point them out, but mostly I want to simply bring observations to light. I think this is the best format to encourage interaction and interest. The blogs are getting a bit longer, this is true. I love to write, I like to talk, when I reach people it is because I am reaching out to them. I don’t mind extending that hand, just don’t leave me “hangin” out there too long.

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14 Apr 2013

Personally, I Am Very Private

This is a prelude to a piece that will be included in another section on the blog.

Although I am not a celebrated author (here I go..) I can tell a pretty good story, I think my writing is above average, and if only by the sheer numbers I have produced some readable work. I missed the point completely, at first.  I couldn’t explain it, I couldn’t put it into words, then I stopped and thought about it. I was amazed in a way, disappointed in a way, but now I do understand.

In a world and in an era where everyone wants to be seen, everyone wants to be heard, everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame; I got a surprise. Now I was going to do a piece about someone I do in fact know, and I was going to try to tell their very interesting, historic story. I prepared to interview them, I had an idea how I wanted to do this piece, I wanted to tell their story as individuals, but I wanted my readers to know about them as a couple as well.

However on my last encounter when I reminded and inquired , of the husband, if he would be ready to speak with me on my next visit.  In a pleasant way he told me he did not mind me telling his story as long as it was not going to be “naming names”. He went on to say there were things he just didn’t want to talk about and then he asked(may have forgotten) what I was going to do with this information. I think we have a tendency to look at our seniors with kindness and pity, we view them as grumpy and not in control  but  what this does is deprive, whether knowingly or not, them of what they deserve most of all RESPECT.

While telling their story may have been okay with his wife, maybe it really wasn’t clear or thought through. I say that because once again I am dealing and in the same mindset, with a society of  folks whose taglines could easily be “HEY OVER HERE LOOK AT ME!!!”

The aspiring writer in me was surprisingly not let down. This would be yet another challenge, and I saw an opportunity to not get one piece out of this encounter but two. The first is this piece, drawing attention to the fact there are some private people left.  The second will be in the Fictional Accounts category. It will not be lacking in content.

Back to the matter at hand, I thought how fortunate I was to have these particular people available to me. I have always, since childhood, enjoyed talking to people I was junior to in a chronological sense. I also enjoy talking to intelligent people. Longevity, in the most general way, has to be given credence to some degree of wisdom one gains by the virtue of mere existence. I both respect and admire my friends who will be the subject of my Fictional Accounts story, I just had to be reminded of this.

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10 Apr 2013

Going Round and Around

Where she stops nobody knows…It is Master’s week in Augusta, Georgia. Let me tell you it is as exciting the anticipation of a new monarch, but wait there is a monarch coming or should I say coming back. I am of course talking about Mr. Tiger Woods.

The only one on the tour to boast multiple wins this season, he comes to the years first major as the favorite to win. I want to see Tiger win Augusta this week and I want to see him go on to break Jack Nicklaus’ record and silence the critics. I still have no personal love for the fellow, but I respect the athlete.

I do want to switch reels here a bit and talk about the Masters and the legendary course which it is played at annually. Now I am a California girl through and through (never mind I was born in Kansas City,Mo.).  I don’t think any place is prettier than my claimed state, the wonderful beaches, the wonderous mountains, the deserts and forest are worthy of awe. However, since my migration south almost 20 years ago I have never seen anything as beautiful as Augusta National.

If you pull it up on the internet you see will photos  that will make you question their authenticity. Some of my clients have photos which look like paintings and it is simply the lush beauty of that place. It is arguably, the St Andrews of the U.S.A.

Build on a former Indigo Plantation (yeah of course plantation), co-founded by  golf legend Bobby Jones and racist(yes over simplified but true) Clifford Roberts both fame and infamy surround this prestigious course.

Every hole is named for a thing of beauty(Azalea, White Dogwood,etc.), a tree and a pond dedicated to President and a corner that has made the “greats” beckon to God, Almighty for favor. Yet in paying homage to its beauty, and grandeur the history of Augusta must be touched upon. I talked about the site itself being built on land and the type of establishment whose very name (plantation) constantly reminds America of injustice it saddled African Americans with. Being in the south and producing the rebellious, foul persona of “Jim Crow”; Augusta National held onto some of “his” very ideology until 1975 when Lee Elder competed there,  or was it 1990 when the FIRST African American, Ron Townsend, was permitted to join the club, no wait was it when Tiger Woods won his first Masters in 1997? I don’t know which one to cite. Let me NOT forget that they proudly allowed the first women(ooh… more than one) to join in the club 2012, talk about a time warp and living in the past.

The PGA has a lot of growing to do and it is growing slowly, but not nearly as slowly as the traditions which it holds onto favorably and embraces. I am not saying they(the PGA) condone what has gone on at Augusta, simply that there is an air of acceptance or need to excuse these behavoirs, because of these same so-called traditions.

The south has a somewhat skewed vision of what tradition means (i.e. rebel flag; heritage not hate). If you continue living you must accept the fact you must move and change with the times. As I scrolled through the photos this morning from Augusta’s Official Web Site (titled random pictures) I couldn’t help but notice that out of 236 photos only 10 of them had African Americans in them and 2 with  people of Asian descent. Now that’s diversity. I thought of how the man who co-founded the club, who I characterized as racist( Clifford Roberts), made a statement that was in essence saying that “blacks will always be caddies and whites will always be golfers on HIS course, as long as he lived”. I am thrilled he lived to see that fall apart. I also feel  sort of apathetic that he chose to commit suicide on the par three course 2 years after his proclamation was no longer a truth.  Was this a coincidence,was it his failing health, or was he a prime example of one who didn’t want to change? He was 84.

Now I am going to bring you back to my “round and around”, “the more things change the more they stay the same”, and “fools who do not know history are destined to repeat it” point. When I see Tiger Woods, I know these times are changing in the sport of golf, whether or not anyone, including Mr. Woods(the self proclaimed “cablasian”) wants them to. In his quest to be the greatest, he will forever be placed in the annuls of history as the African American Golfer who could and did….THAT IS NOT A BAD THING!

One by one we watch these representatives of “a time gone by” crumble and fall, because they are built on faulty or unstable ideals. Triumphant figures from a “Gone With The Wind”  type society fade into oblivion, taking the dark side and secrets with them. Only to be resurrected continuously, minus the negatives.”Pleasantville” lives in DisneyWorld, and it is the last stop before you reach  “The Land of Oz“. Translation the life you seek is a fantasy, that exists in your dreams. Wake up the world is changing right before your eyes, like it or not.  Enjoy The Masters.

Posted in Everybody's Critic and tagged , , , , | Leave a comment
09 Apr 2013
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Why Do Your Children Hate You?

Have you ever asked yourself this question? As a wannabe good parent, I know every-so-often the thought does comes to mind. The arrogant among us say, “HELL no it doesn’t”. The realist know that no matter how hard you try there are going to be some”flies in the buttermilk” of child rearing.

After years of taking our own respective parents through changes they could not have imagined at our births, we are now the symbols of authority. Some of us detested the rules and regulations of our youth, some of us applauded the freedom from responsibility, but there were times when we were just not happy with good ole mom and dad.

The prom dress you couldn’t wear, the trip with your buddies unaccompanied by an adult more than 21 years old, the fast car they opted NOT to buy for you.  Did it ever occur to you that it was denied to you, NOT merely to make your entire life unbearable? Now your offspring has a tale or two that may need some of that same convincing about.

I admit as a parent I wanted to be more, give more, and in return expect nothing of my children but they have fun and  become responsible upstanding citizens, However, we humans are not made up like that. In order for us to become strong, we must struggle and fight. We must face challenges and adversity in order to rise to the occasion. Our character much like our bodies must be trained in order for that perfect form to emerge. Yet this is not what we are teaching and demonstrating to our young.

We indulge them, we make excuses for them, and when they do something wrong or incorrect WE try to fix things for them rather than make them stand up and assume responsibility for their actions.

We are, as parents, the perpetual “catch 22” in our minds. If we teach the hard lessons the hard way, we foster the idea that they will not love or care for us, we won’t be their friends. On the other hand if we protect and shelter them from these same hard lessons, when we are no longer here to fix the problems for them, they are angry at us for allowing them to be disillusioned and unable to cope.

They have no appreciation for what we have done, how we have sacrificed and why is that? I wonder if in their minds and cultivated since they were small; they consistently looked away, ignored, or missed the part where we said, “Now it is not always going to be this way, We will not be able to always fix this for you, EVERYONE won’t do this for you, because WE love you”.

To these same children, are we truly to blame? Are you angry at people who did the best they could for you; an individual with ever-changing wants, needs, and desires, who one day tells us to bud out  and the next days calls and asks to be bailed out.

From the first time we laid eyes on your precious tiny face we were in love with you. We knew our time to just be everything to you was short, we nonetheless cherished the thought of it while we could. Society, religion, the world tell us at a certain point in time we are no longer responsible for you; you must stand on your own, but dammit these sources don’t tell us how to just turn that love off. So we fight and battle and try so hard to get you to the point where you want to go, and get out there, and do YOUR thing. Without the “safety net” it is frightening and though others before you have done this, we did it, if you flinch or turn back to look at us, we still want to be there.

You are angry at us, but what if we were angry at you? Trust me it is quite unfathomable in most cases, because we love you so much what we house is hurt IF we think we slighted you in the most miniscule manner. We try to protect you from the outsiders and the strangers, but now in your disappointment and/or anger YOU  now act like the stranger we tried to keep YOU from, toward us.

What to do? It is simple fix it. Recognize the problem and do something actively or proactively. Yes it is hard it will be hard, but it is a learning situation and you all are collectively smarter than your parents. Finally, as an ending thought, realize this is all new and a learning experience for us as well.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , , , ,
08 Apr 2013

Bad Behavoir Contagion

Well it spreads like any other infection. Exposure to this means you are as likely to catch or become it, as you are to resist or overcome it. Take a closer look.

What do you know about the typical characteristics of communicable diseases. You know the environment has to be ideal for them to grow and thrive in. There must be a host to infiltrate. This same host must have a weakened system. Repeated exposure to the attacker is generally enough to accomplish a breakdown. Finally there have to be others for it to spread to.

Although bad behavior is primarily psychological affliction, I submit to you it sports the same characteristics as the physiological one. Therefore what do you do when you know you are going to be in a situation or environment that puts YOU at risk? One could avoid it, one could build oneself up with vitamins and nutrients. However, if those things fail and you end up affected, you get help.

The treatment has to include both physician and medication. The host must follow the directions of both in order to fight off and drive away the disease. Full recovery is possible, but that is not saying it will be easy.

When we place the condition in the psychological column, the physician becomes the counselor or spiritual leader; vitamins and nutrients, become good influences and reliable information; medication becomes consistent positive reinforcement.

With these things in your corner, you are prepared for battle. You stand a chance to not only fight off this bad behavior, but possibly change some of it.

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08 Apr 2013
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Now You Want To Be

The choices are very limited now, so you take what you have and you cherish it ever-so-much, but what about the fact that you have had and slighted the very same choice for quite a long time. The wear and tear are visible now. Yet, you say it doesn’t matter. I challenge you with, why didn’t you cherish this same item/possession/companion when it was new?  You must entertain and/or live with that question and others. What if it is too late to salvage? What are you willing to do, how much time and effort will you put forth to correct this wrong. Can you be so arrogant as to think you can go along, as though nothing has happened,  and things will continue on the same lines.

None of us are perfect, but while you do NOT have to wallow in the errors you make/have made you do have to take notice. If there has been something wrong done you have to make an effort to fix it, and YOU don’t have the luxury of feeling any ill-will if your efforts are not applauded and/or rejected. Facing those type circumstances you may think, “I’d be better suited to do things my way” and you may in fact be just that. I caution you here; if you are truly in the place of moving on and moving forward, not taking active and aggressive steps in order to smooth over and fix the problem will only result in disaster.

What is the most difficult part of owning up to what one has done?  Can it be the fear of rejection; because knowing what you have done is something YOU would not let go, and thereby realizing this person you have wronged may respond in a similar manner. Is it  coming face to face with the fact you are, as human beings are, weak and flawed. The only thing you will preserve by not taking a pro-active course of action is your ego, selfish and large, it is the primary reason why you are at this place currently. Factor ego OUT of the solution.

If you are truly sorry, try to soften the blows that have been delivered in a kind manner.  The sincerity will be apparent. Hopefully, there is still some sensitivity left for you to work on or work with. The numbness of indifference, once it has set in, is much more difficult to reverse.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , , ,

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