hafacenturyncounting

Who’s in Charge?

In a totally rhetorical sense, the question is asked. People among us who consider themselves Christians, know the answer. Whether or not they believe or behave as such, remains to be seen at times. We take names at face value, but when it is time to deliver something or someone very different can appear.

I have to give you a couple of feel good thoughts to ponder. I watched a program on the National Geographic Channel, called “Unlikely Animal Friends”, and if ever there was a case for the title of this piece that program is it. Close to a time of night when no urge is stronger than sleep for a very weary body, I watched with an uncontrollable smile stories of cats befriending birds, lionesses nurturing baby wildebeests, tigers and bears living together as companions. The sarcastic part of my mind saying this is like you and a lobster(which by-the-way I no longer consume) going for a long swim. Not gonna happen for the most simplistic and basic reasons, I  cannot swim and if I were a swimmer I would much rather swim with someone that I feel is more compatible with me.

Given choices we more often than not select what we think is going to work best for us based on look, familiarity, and understanding. Not necessarily a bad thing, but a very limiting thing. We have the availability of the universe, but we select the small room. That doesn’t make sense does it? It does if you want to be in charge, and let’s face it we all want to be in charge.

Do you think you know your limitations? Are you afraid and the small space you occupy makes you feel strong and safe? Don’t be mistaken, you are not familiar with your limitations, you are making yourself limited.

I am not advocating that one should go out and do dare-devilish things, without care or concern for health and well being. I am advocating go out and try something new and different. Let go of that fear, because you realize who is actually in charge. If you have the right answer, you will be okay. This knowledge will give you freedom, freedom to take chances, freedom to depart from what you know. Freedom to let go without fear; like Ace Bourke and John Rendall did with the lion called ironically and fittingly, Christian.

Don’t Talk About My Father

A close to my heart subject; and one I want to beyond all, to do justice to it. However, this is only a blog and all I can offer is my best effort. This is dedicated to all the fathers, dads and daddies. I also have to give a  resounding shout to the single moms who had to be both, mom and dad.

The title is an excerpt from a Marvin Gaye” song from the What‘s Going On album . My father, my dear “play” father , and two wonderful ladies who served as mother and father instantly come to mind when I  hear this song. The images of four very special people come to me and images of them are fresh in my mind and deep in my heart. I feel so very blessed by God for having each of them in my life.

Growing up in a time when divorce was on the rise;I had my dad  Albert J. Cates Sr., with me through the formative years, my early adulthood, and my children were able to see and experience their grandfather. I am a better person because he was in my life, but I can only hope I am a slight reflection of the goodness that existed within him. Upon his passing there stood another man, not to replace but to help fill a void. Without missing a beat he was there; Theodore’s entrance into my life was virtually unremarkable, because he had been around since I was a small child. He taught me what it was to be truly kind to people and his love was felt by all who were fortunate enough to meet him. He did all of this without saying a word, it was demonstrated through his deeds. And what of the ladies?  First there was Shirley;  she impacted my life tremendously, though she departed this life before either of the men, I knew her as a strong wonderful influence. Last but not least would be my dear bubbly-yet-no-nonsense Elaine . Ms. Elaine was/is a  friend you could confide in, but without missing a beat she would put you in your place. Both of the ladies shared a common characteristic, and that was a presence that made you know given a choice you might want to challenge a man instead.  I could speak volumes on each of these people and still be at a loss for words.

I have to stop and think of how marvelous it is to have your father in your life, because I always had mine. I know, I took this particular aspect for granted. This also has to bring to light how unbelievably resilient and amazing a single woman is that takes on the role of both parents.

Fatherhood is no easy undertaking. The strong stoic individual has to go against his very nature to be soft and approachable. He must always maintain our view of what manhood is. Down to the most miniscule part of him such as his voice he must imply and command respect,  there are numerous times it must be done without saying a word. Having him in your life affords you the confidence of, “no matter what is going on, it will be alright because he is there and he will make it so”. I  never gave this a conscious thought, because everyday of my entire life up until a  little over a year ago I had that. I cannot fathom what a small helpless child feels without a someone like that in their life. I know how vulnerable I feel as an adult without this amazing being.

For the women who must assume this role she has the dual challenge of being the nurturer and disciplinarian. Her soft sweet voice has to take on the unnatural power of that missing piece. What is inside of her aching for the relief of his very presence can never be visible. Her success is seen through her children, but she pays a high price.

We have an obligation to our children, they all require and deserve to have the very basic, yet amazing love of a “father”. If you happen to fit into this particular role realize and remember how very special you are. If you do not, take care and consideration before you take it on. We have all been touched by an individual who does, one way or the other.

If you don’t believe anything else in this life, believe the Lord knows exactly what you need, when you need it, and he provides it. As Father’s Day approaches, approximately one month away, I am reminded of these four individuals.  I cannot help feeling so very fortunate. Each of them holds a very special place in my heart. I ask myself what made me so special to have been blessed with all of their presence. I thank my Heavenly Father for these gifts he bestowed upon me.

Green With Envy

What to do about it. Wow just when you think you have overcome something, it returns to you. I really hoped, yes I will say, hoped I was beyond this character flaw. I was wrong. I was going along thinking I was okay and then it hit me. It literally pulled the rug from under me. Therefore, the reason this is so very short is my effort to put it behind me and I want to do it quickly.

I was overwhelmed and shocked at the same time. Then I felt hurt and remorse. I felt this terrible irrational emotion toward someone who I dearly love.  This bothered me immensely and I began to cry. My Bible was nearby so I picked it up. I found 1 Corinthians 12:-18 I was compelled to read more.

Confession being one of the movements, progresses in ones journey toward faith, I confess. I was jealous and envious for that instant my thought was only of ME. Then the  “mental ether”; I shook my head and said, ” Do you realize what you have, do you think about what a loss she has  suffered, and most of all this is just a thing.” I want my friend to be happy and enjoy what she now has, God bless her, she certainly deserves it. This was so ugly of me and I am ashamed, but I am glad that God allowed me to see it so very quickly. I was reminded of how terribly vulnerable we are and if we do not have the proper mindset evil is always waiting.

Judgement Call

“Judge not lest ye be judged”. That is a difficult task and this is a difficult thought for me to approach. As one embarks on a Christian walk the challenges are abundant. The everyday things you encounter oftentimes are tests.

How do you NOT judge? I am  of the opinion that being in a state of constant prayer is the only way, but that is because it is the way that works for me. When the urge comes over me to say or think something judgmental, I try to go to the Bible if I am near one or say a silent prayer. Character challenging thoughts invade all of our psyche’s. As you go about doing the everyday tasks these challenging thoughts will come into your head. Do you run and hide or do you face them with the very human weaknesses that we all possess?

I battle with the way I will handle this piece as much as I do personally with the subject matter. One has to define judgment and that is not easy. I found myself straddling gossip and mean thoughts. It seems so easy, forming an opinion, but the criterion of which one uses to form that opinion can/does make all the difference in the world. Couple that with, are we really qualified to form those opinions? Where did we get the authority to judge and who gave it to us?

Every mean thought adds a frown line or furrow in our face, and it steals time away from our much needed, much sought after, much deserved happiness. Every bit of gossip leads us to sin, on one level or another. I clearly remember both parents telling me as a child, “you go to hell as quickly for lying as you do for stealing”.  Sin is sin.God will judge us, don’t we have enough to do keeping our own selves in line.

What Greed Ultimately Costs You

There never seemed to be enough. I was an overweight child. I was not born that way, there were no hormone imbalances, I  did have a problem though. In my mind, there was never enough. I could never get enough. My parents never hid things from us, treats were accessible. However, we were all told if  we ate them up in one day that was it until the next grocery shopping day AND our behavior would be a consideration in whether or not we got those same treats again. I didn’t care. I had to have those “Oreos” and since we probably were not going to get any more any time soon, after I did what I planned on doing, I might as well eat the entire package. That sounds obsessive doesn’t it?

Defined as excessive, extreme desire for something and usually more than one’s share; greed has been a costly character flaw in numerous individuals lives. The media makes it seem as if it is okay and encourages us to want and pursue more. Bigger, stronger, faster; did I mention we need this gratification instantaneously. For the believers, isn’t it funny how the world generally is in direct conflict with God?

Let’s run with this for a moment. We are disapproving of the inner-city-entrepreneur. His education process and indoctrination from the streets. He sees, he wants, he goes after with whatever he has available to him. In”our world” that is initiative and drive. However, in both instances the same result is desired, THE REWARD. There it is what we all want but no one wants to work for it, no one wants to sacrifice for it, and no one certainly wants to wait for it. Oh but it looks/feels so good doesn’t it. Why can’t we have it easily? Why can’t we have it quickly? Why can’t we have it all?

My personal greed still costs me, because I still fight a loosing battle with these excessive, extreme desires. It is ugly and I hate to admit it, but I am human.  I really want to do better. Yet sin is sin; if you lie you will cheat and so on, simply because you are able to tell yourself well this is not as bad as that. Perhaps by acknowledging the existence of our flaws we are better equipped to recognize, face,  and maybe one day defeat them. I hope and pray that I am right about this.

Sacrifice, patience, and the ultimate reward. That is a recipe for something truly worth having. God has made it possible for us to claim the ultimate reward, because Jesus our savior made the ultimate sacrifice for us all. He paid the ultimate price for us, don’t let greed cost you the ultimate gift.