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Archive for the tag “wisdom”

04 Oct 2013

Completely Wrong

Thinking about us, human beings, I am forever amazed. Tragic events unfold daily. Someone gets angry in traffic and an all out riot erupts. “Our” House of Representatives sit in Washington D.C with their genitals in their hands while the citizens of the United States of America suffer, trying to place the blame elsewhere. I say,” be responsible, do your job”, but wait it isn’t that easy when you realize that we all are nothing more than high functioning illiterates.

Yes, face it folks there is something wrong with each and everyone of us. In some cases something MAJOR! Press us and disaster is seconds away from happening. How did we get here? Well to my target audience(everybody) there was a time in my life that  some people who we see on the streets today, given the generic title of homeless were not running rampant in the streets. How many individuals have you personally encountered (directly or indirectly) that exhibit behavior that you as a layman would deem worthy of  controlled observation? Realizing that if you can only answer one, most of the population can say the same.

Homeless is an unfair and oversimplified term; it covers former veterans, unemployed, under-medicated, runaways, many individuals whose only common link is they do not have a residence. It angers me. When I was a little girl in Kansas I remember seeing a man who was at that time called a “hobo”, maybe some of you all from Southern Cal remember “Hobo Kelly”? Hobo was endearing,  he rode trains carried a handkerchief knapsack and smiled at you harmlessly. As time moved forward the hobo was no longer endearing as the fight for survival became more and more challenging, the hobo became frightening and dangerous. The term disappeared the individual did not, a simple name change came about and his identity was forever altered.

I think of how I observed children when my kids were young, and how I noticed our society placing individuals with special needs in schools/classrooms with individual who did not have those same challenges. On the one hand you say great, acceptance but on the other maybe there is neglect. Children can be cruel, they say what is on their minds, I wonder if adequate research was done before it was decided a child who is in a wheelchair is going to be okay with self and accepted by others, if you put him or her into an environment where they are going to stand out.  Then if it is okay for the child in the wheelchair what about the child who is not learning at the same rate. We try to sugar coat the world, but the truth is that child may very well be there, in that seemingly NORMAL environment, because of a lawsuit rather than benevolence. In our fight for NORMAL we may be creating something  dangerous.

What about Sue in the cubicle next to you.  Did you know she was in the throws of yet another divorce, number three, and she has been on xanax so long she takes them like vitamins? Oh course not she comes to work, she does her job, and doesn’t bother anyone, that is as long as she takes her meds. Joe who is a recovering alcoholic has lunch with Sam everyday, he knows Sam needs help because Joe has been there. However, Sam is in denial Sam is great at what he does and Sam is the boss. Does this sound familiar, could these people be people you work with?

The children, the co-workers, the homeless; we have become so insensitive to our fellow man because we are all wrapped up in problems of our own, and we don’t realize how messed up we all are because we have to function and go on. That’ my point. One of my favorite sayings, “nothing is completely wrong, even a stopped clock is right twice a day”. Oh how I found renewed hope when I read that, but now practically everything is digital so when a clock stops working the screen goes blank. I hope that is not what has happened to us in the “community of man”.  I know better, I know we are not at the point of completely wrong. After all, we are still making watches and clocks with dials.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , , , | Leave a comment
16 Sep 2013
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I Surrender…..All?

Arms raised in the air, a white flag being waved; you turn your very life over to the someone you don’t know, you face uncertainty and perceived bad results. After all surrender is an act that usually happens in the face of war, and warring people are generally enemies.

Surrender an act of submission and associated with, an individual who most likely means to do you harm. “I give up, I throw myself on the mercy of the court, do with me what you will.” You give power over you away, because you are tired, weary or see no way out.  Yet to the One who loves and cares for you, it is often a difficult task to do this very same thing. Why?

God wants our unconditional love and trust. Part of us want to comply but there is that other part that says, you cannot give up or give in. You are independent, you must be self-sustaining; then when trouble comes you call to God or you blame Him for not helping you like YOU think He should. What do we want? The answer is simple; WE WANT PERFECTION. However, the road to perfection is still one many of us are not willing to take. This is elementary; one road to the destination you desire, but you won’t travel that way/direction. Here’s a “spoiler” you aren’t gonna get there!

The wiser we are the more difficult it is for us to believe things WE cannot explain. As a child, I remember being taught Jesus is LOVE/God is LOVE. To a little one reciting this and really grasping a hold of what it means, isn’t nearly as important as the fact you are able to memorize the words. As you grow up in stature and experience, you learn of LOVE in an academic sense.  You LOVE your family, you LOVE your spouse or mate, you LOVE chocolate, you LOVE to draw.. is it all the same thing. No, of course not. We know LOVE is a strong feeling so we confuse what it means and give into it being an expression of intensity, ONLY. After it is all said and done LOVE is just a word or is it?

Sunday morning in class (my eldest son is teaching, unique experience a topic for later) we went back to the basics, the beginnings to Genesis “God created man in his own image.”  In God’s Own image so what does God look like? Is God short or tall, is He black or white or brown or multi-racial, is He so gorgeous you cannot take your eyes off Him, or is He just a plain looking fellow that you’d never even notice.  I know that was a question I had as a child. Then as I got older and I heard individual groups trying to justify why they He was depicted with certain characteristics,  it let me know my query was not one I alone had. Some of the fog lifted on my journey as our teacher simply stated the image of God is the image of LOVE. In so few words the clarity hit. With God LOVE becomes so much more than simply a word or feeling.

Being good is a simple enough concept, it is just a hard thing to practice. If we are not good then how can we have God’s LOVE and God’s approval. Well God is different from us, and His LOVE is not the same as ours.  We are capable of this kind of LOVE, though. We say unconditional and we may be able to pull that of for a period of time, but when the trouble comes we pull the LOVE back so we don’t get hurt. Maybe we never put the LOVE out there like we say. God does not pull the LOVE back and He does put it out there for us, all we have to do is give in, trust, allow Him to give us His LOVE. All we have to do is surrender.

Posted in Ecumenically Speaking and tagged , ,
16 Sep 2013

Asking For What You Want And Getting It

“Ahh no thanks, Ima pass” was what I thought as I began this. Now that may be surprising but it has been something I thought on for awhile, and do not be mistaken because the piece began with “Ahh no thanks, Ima pass”, does not mean that was always MY starting point.

Have you ever read a book or seen a movie that starts at the end and then takes you backwards? Well this is how I am doing this particular post. Think you know exactly what you want, need, desire? I bet most if us would answer affirmatively to this question; yet be careful this is trip down an old familiar road with some unfamiliar turns.

Oftentimes when I write I listen to music and “YouTube“ is my best friend in these endeavors, but one of my “sisters” started me on this by posting a video which featured a member of the both lovely and talented singing group Debarge.   James DeBarge to be exact. Now I am NOT being funny when I called them lovely, because in spite of the fact the majority of the group was male, they were some of the most beautiful young people you would want to lay eyes on and YES they could sing! When we saw them all we saw was beauty and heard the same. These amazing siblings rose like cream does to the top of milk. James married R&B royalty(Janet Jackson) in his youth. James was neither sounding or looking good in the video as he tried to employ the audience, of an obscure little club nestled in the Inland Empire on the outskirts of Los Angeles, to help him through one of the family hits. Nearly every member of the family has had a bout with drugs.

Before I knew it “Youtube” was helping to guide me down memories of my teen and young adult years and some of the residents who will forever inhabited that place. The series Unsung became my springboard; The Sylvers, Shalamar, Klymaxx, Angela Bofill, before I knew what was happening it was 3 A.M.

This wordy introduction was to drive home the point of the title. You may have noticed my ending the list of singers with an individual rather than a group. Angela’s story tells it all. She spoke of riding high, doing what she wanted, dismissing things that were very important; these are not unique qualities of a young, successful artist, it is also reflective of many regular folks as well. Angela said at one point in her career she was exhausted. She had battled with weight issues all of her life, but she did not smoke, drink, do drugs. She was a person who “juiced” incessantly. She stated all she wanted to do and wished for was to be able to slow down, in 2006 she suffered a stroke and another massive one in 2007. Not taunting or making light of this situation; I am a fan on Angela Bofill her story merely allowed me to reflect.

What are our travels here on Earth about, if we cannot share and assist others in their ventures. We exist in a state of envy; we strive for more and greed has become a part of our culture. You don’t talk of instant gratification, it is a way of life. We see the beautiful people with the beautiful THINGS and think, “Wow what a beautiful life. Why did he commit suicide?Why is she on drugs? Why can’t they have a successful relationship?” Surely if YOU were given “their” opportunity, success, life you’d do it another way. Consider this “they” probably had the very same thought at one time.

If you have a favorite food  as I do, you may be able to use it as your road to understanding, and if need be change. Think about that favorite food, think of having more than enough of it placed before you, think of how you love and desire it, think of the first taste and then diving face first into it without the care or concern of someone watching you. How long could you continue eating it; is your answer until I got full or until I got sick? Then ask yourself would you actually push it to either of those limits. Think about long term repercussions; sometimes when you have too much of something it ruins it for you, you may never want it again, but then how sad is that because  you will recall you used to feel quite a bit different about that same food. On the other hand if you don’t become sickened by this same dish and you continue to go on you will lose appreciation for it. Any way you go, overdoing/ overindulging meets with a similar fate and disaster is generally a part of it.

Therefore appreciate and respect that which you have. Take the perks, rewards, luxuries in stride and spread them out over time. You may not get to them all but surely you will have time to sample them, and that may be enough. For life truly holds NO guarantees, exception being all will end.

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06 Sep 2013
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Casualties

When you think of a casualty what is the first thing that comes to mind? This writer connects it to war and loss. Well there are many types of wars and even more types of loss.

As we age our relationships and connections change, they evolve at an astounding rate. Perhaps we notice the changes more so because of what we are preoccupied with, CHANGE. I was reviewing photos and articles surrounding the March on Washington and came across  something that “blew my mind”.  There is so much amazing and rich history surrounding that event that one should not be surprised at what they see, but fifty years ago I was not quite 4 years old. Alive but not aware of the world outside the protective walls of my home and the arms of my parents.

There in the midst of my scrolling through pages I came across a shot of James Baldwin, he was flanked by what was considered “Hollywood Royalty” . I sighed and wished that people cared about one another again. I wished that we could look outside our own personal needs. Then I symbolically shook myself; I had to go back to that photo when I realized who I saw in that same photo and I had to confirm it. There he was James Baldwin small, in stature only, with Marlon Brando on one side and Charleton Heston on the other.  Gun toting, “they can pry it from my cold dead hand” , NRA poster boy, Charleton Heston! Now I grew up with Charleton Heston attached to the image of Moses; surely you cannot play a good man, a man of God like Charleton Heston did, and not be “good”.  However in adult life I saw another side of Mr. Heston, and I didn’t like it or HIM anymore. After learning of his politics and affiliations with the NRA and his stance on guns, as much as I LOVED ” The Ten Commandment” I could never quite view the film the same.

I asked myself what happened to the man who was pictured attending and participating in an event that screamed to the United States of America and alerted world JUSTICE, EQUALITY, and FREEDOM must be for all or none truly possess it. The first thing that came to mind was he got old, a casualty of age. He was not unique for if we are fortunate enough to continue living, age will take prisoners of us all from one aspect or another. Yet we eliminate or overlook the positive aspect of aging, we look on and fear loss of the familiar.

You see it all around; in politics it is especially clear, we put these people in office because they “SAY” they understand us and know what we want and need. Adamantly insisting “THEY” will deliver. “THEY” lie, practically(I am being generous here) all of “THEM”. Once they have secured their position they go about and pursue their own agenda and at the top of that list is to make sure “THEY” have all “THEY”want need and desire… and we look on with shock and anger.

I wanted to be amazed by Charleton Heston, but then I realized I actually knew about him and the March on Washington. I had chosen to have selective amnesia, I could pull it off because I am becoming a part of the group I refer to as “older”. There it was my built in excuse.  My conscious would not allow me to overlook the fact things that I exuberantly sought out in my 20’s have now somehow lessened on my priority list in my 50’s.

Today I want to challenge you to think beyond yourself; think of your children and grandchildren, remember being younger having hopes and dreams. Think of what or who came into your young life and tried to bash the gifts of your youth for no apparent reason. Gather those thoughts and look at them closely; recall (and admit to it) thinking “old bastard” and know now someone sees that in you when you get ugly especially.  On the flip side to the younger folks who read this, if you are fortunate, your day is coming; the next gray haired individual you cut off in traffic, chose to use offensive language in the presence of with NO regard, the very image/representation of your parent or grandparent today, WILL be you tomorrow. Keep having hopes and dreams of something beyond YOU. Resist becoming a casualty.

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , ,
02 Sep 2013

“All-Out” Pregnancy

It’s not spring but it feels like a good time for this “Autumn Baby” to talk about having babies. While our group has long passed the age of reproducing or as only nature says and defines(i.e. menopause); we are still being affected by child birth and babies, mostly as grandparents. Two of my friends are expecting new grand-babies within a few months; one a seasoned veteran, the other a novice, but  the excitement, anticipation, shopping, party planning is evidence we are enjoying this role.

She walked into Kaiser’s pharmacy,  in between what appeared to be six to eight months “along”. She wore the morphed version of platform styled shoes with stiletto heels, figure hugging leggings, hair perfectly coiffed (weave and all), her top was well coordinated and showed off ever curve and bulge of her pregnancy. I tried not to stare, I am not certain I was successful. My initial reaction was reduced to internet lingo “SMH”, but my mind would not allow me to stop there.  As I studied this young woman and wondered was I feeling this disapproval because I am beyond the child bearing years and jealous(because my hormones make me crazy), am I out-of-touch, am I old and judgmental,  or was this mother-to-be just inappropriately dressed. I concluded that many of the prior cited thoughts, could very well be applicable.

I was researching my thoughts when I came across an article in The New Yorker from two years ago titled “Parents Of A Certain Age”. It was a remarkable piece, I was enlightened and amazed by it. Covering everything from the bliss of being first time parents at the half-century mark with financial stability, to the the possibilities of having a debilitating stroke during or right after giving birth. I kept going; now I was on a mission, looking up fashions and cultural aspect of pregnancy. Why was  this grandmother so intrigued and involved with this natural phenomenon? Be certain I was not trying to join the ranks of the older mothers from the New Yorker article.

I was seeking understanding. I wanted to know why this  redefining of pregnancy  was happening. Fashion was only one aspect of it, although it was taking a very interesting turn.  Now I am a mother, so I have been pregnant. I went though my childbearing years with Demi Moore”gracing” the cover of a magazine nude. Fashion’s cutting edge suggestions for the 1980’s was to use your husband’s dress shirts and a opened front vest, in opposed to a frilly, childish, or matronly top. We ever wore over-sized tee shirts designed to drape over the “baby bump“. Maternity fashions have historically been expensive and down right ugly; it is easy to see why women would look for alternatives, but pregnant women should look carefully.

Now you see painted bellies, outfits that accentuate(like that is needed) the bellies, and yes bare bellies many with protruding belly buttons. Celebrities are known for being out there, but we everyday people are supposed to know better. Seriously anyone, these days, three years old and above knows what that protruding abdomen means. Are young women so obsessed and pressured about their looks that they still need validation in pregnancy.  Whose attention are you trying to get?

When I read an excerpt from a fashion article  encouraging women to display their “baby bumps in form fitting materials is so sexy”, I thought I would scream(and vomit). Now we are turning the bellies into a fetish? Great, objectify a woman in a state that should ONLY be appealing to HER mate. Wait a minute this woman is not only unavailable she is not alone (i.e. with child???)! Please understand I am not saying pregnancy is sickening, embarrassing, or something to hide; I am saying modesty, health, and safety are things women in the condition should consider. You are having a baby, not prepping for a bikini photo shoot. Tight clothing can slow the digestive process causing heartburn, those beautiful high heels and your expanding out of balance body may have a propensity to stumbles, trips, and falls(which could be devastating in “flats” let alone 3 and 1/2 inch stiletto heels).

Expectant mothers are beautiful, glowing and full of new life. Realize your pregnancy is a personal experience, unique to YOU and your partner. As we weren’t audience to the beginnings of this impending blessed event, we should not be “knee deep” in this aspect of the event either. Therefore beautiful, proud, elated “mothers-to-be” take one more look in the mirror before you step outside; realize that precious cargo you carry within you, will be exposed to the world soon enough.

Posted in Everybody's Critic, One For My Friends and tagged , , | Leave a comment
27 Aug 2013

Now That’s Cute?

In the wake of Miley Cyrus’ crash and burn performance at the  2013 VMAs I started looking at what we deem to be cute. Our society likes to look, we enjoy the” finer” things and are obsessed with celebrity and celebrities are obsessed with being in the limelight. However, our youngsters are getting the wrong message. Partially because “we” are sending them flawed information.

I remember as a child watching the Mickey Mouse Club (in black and white no less).  I wondered what one needed to do to be a kid on television. I don’t think I was alone but in Kansas, well that task would be a bit more difficult. The early 1980’s brought forth a new revamped and a bit more diverse Mickey Mouse Club. Mickey was now quietly competing with MTV. Nowadays my granddaughter enjoys the Disney Channel; 24 hours of Mickey Mouse, Princesses, Doc McStuffins, Little Einsteins and an array of talented “tweens” coming to the adult world faster than you can quite frankly”wish upon a star” for.

However, there seems to be a new epidemic surfacing, or should I say resurfacing. These kids are being thrown into growing up on screen before they actually have time to grow up. Now this is not new to the harsh world of reality for child stars, but we see some really bizarre reactions to no longer being cute. Why, because being cute just isn’t enough. They long for, crave, no they demand an enormous amount of gratification and attention.  When they do not get this attention they do what any child would do, they throw a tantrum and they are doing it in the most public way.

I cannot point my finger at them(the kids) exclusively, what of the adults who are cashing in and exploiting them. When Miley did her version of what many are describing as a “g-rated sex show”(oxymoron anyone), did we forget that Robin Thicke was on stage with her? If he was surprised, he sure did a great job of improvising his way through it. Surely the producers of the show saw where this was going and could have pulled the plug at any time, but what happened, nothing.

There is a little movie starring Lindsey Lohan, another casualty of the Disney Empire, called “Mean Girls”; it addresses a host of problems children in our society deal with growing up in the seemingly normal life. It is hilarious, but there is a particular scene that comes to mind where the spotlight is shone on the younger sister of one of the main characters. This little girl is depicted as PERHAPS a second grader watching a sexy music video and imitating the provocative moves.. sound/seem familiar?

These little girls are most definitely cute, but it is clear that no matter how the industry tries to disguise it, there is the underlying power of the corporate big-wigs to sell sex, and it doesn’t matter if they use kids who are ready, or mature, or legal. They are another drop in the bucket and   if they get out of hand they simply switch to the next “flavor of the month”.

Therefore when you are watching your little angel grow up and shine, carefully cultivate her talent and beauty. Then if you feel compelled to share her with the world on this level  and in this particular forum, be wary of exposing her to too much limelight all at once. Her delicate self may not be able to withstand it.

Posted in Everybody's Critic and tagged , , | Leave a comment
26 Aug 2013
1 Comment

Fear

Frozen and unable to move. Have you ever felt like this? What do you think of when you think of fear. I  am not taking about shaking in your boots type, Dracula jumping at you from the big screen fear. This is the subtle one. The one you don’t know or admit to having. It is very dangerous because it will crop up at the most inopportune times.

I loved the water, loved the beach, but I never learned how to swim. Southern California girl who rode to the beach on her bike with her best friend weekly, could NOT swim a stroke.

We took swimming in high school gym class, it was mandatory. Along with the concerns a black girl has for her hair(although mine didn’t look that great back then anyway), I hated the class in general. I did not like changing in the open locker room and I did not like sports. Thus that was partially why I was not in shape. I was overweight and you had to wear these school issue suits; the thin fit girls had sleek-black-recently- purchase-almost cute- one pieced suits, while we fat girls(and at that time there were not many) had these turquoise-burlap-elastic stressed/stretched-out dinosaurs-with semi-skirted bottoms, also one-pieced. Imagining ugly, is only scratching the surface. So if you did not know you were “fat” the color coding was there. After a semester of training I did manage to pass the class with the help of this tiny little blonde named Meliss (not Melissa either). I was a freshman and had no idea who Meliss was and found myself shocked to discover she was a student aid. Good thing you are virtually weightless in water, otherwise I would have been ranked far outside of Meliss’ weight-class.  I was not comfortable in the water, so years later and after I had children, I enrolled in a class at the local college I attended.  It was a six week course, I got through two the first time in tried taking the class and three weeks on the second effort.

My oldest son was taking swimming lessons at  age six, I did not want him to suffer my fate of being a non swimmer, he did great.   One day as we waited for class to conclude his brother(less than two at the time)  broke free from me, ran straight for and jumped fearlessly into the pool. He, of course, was fine he was actually dog paddling like a pro and laughing with complete joy. The fact that he was surrounded by so many staffers ready and able to “save ” him, well a non-swimmer mother could not ask for a better spot to be put “on the spot”. It was there, at that moment I realized I was afraid of the water.  Years of  proclaiming love for  the beach , the ocean, pools, water… ; I was petrified when my child jumped into that perfectly blue, perfectly ph-balanced, perfectly supervised pool, because I WAS AFRAID OF WATER… how could I save him. That was sobering, but it allowed me to face a fact. Even though I tried to accomplish the feat of swimming, unaware of my actual  state of mind, I could not because something inside of me was holding me back. I still cannot swim, but I now know it is fear that stops me.

That subtle-quiet-just-below-the-surface fear. The type that kept you from going away to college, because you didn’t want to leave the familiar surroundings of home. The type that won’t allow you on the dance floor, because you worry that people will pay such close attention to the fact you don’t have rhythm. The type that makes you hesitate when you are offered an opportunity to do something that you say you love and feel you are good at, but are terrified you will fail so you do nothing. What you do instead is give up the water, you miss your chance at the experience of being educated both formally and socially, you bypass a chance at just having some fun at the party, or you let go of a dream.

Don’t let it happen; the thing that you think you are afraid of, that which you imagine is far worse than it actually is, if you come face to face with it. Face your fear and move forward.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , ,
24 Aug 2013
1 Comment

Coming To Terms And Finding Balance

Early mornings when it is dark and quiet, thoughts are free to float about in your mind. Many people will not have this experience for numerous reasons the most obvious being, they simply aren’t morning folk.  After 36 years of pre-dawn starts, it is my norm.

I was reading a nice story about reconnecting and it made me smile. The story was of a siblings finding one another after 30 years! Exciting right; but if you have lost touch with someone it will bring a bit of melancholy to you whether or not this separation was intentional.

Everything in our lives works or doesn’t because we are in a state that puts us at unrest. We search for a mate, we search for a job, we search for dinner; none of these are impossible to obtain, it is just we are confused about the combinations of what factors will give us satisfaction and ultimately end our search. We want to reach the “finish line”.

Anticipation or exhaustion, you have gotten to your limit. Now that you have made this determination you must live with it, and that may be easier said than done. Here is where finding balance comes in. I tag myself notorious for “thinking things through, and generally I am convinced of just that. However, I also have to note those well thought through, deliberate notions do not always have staying power.

They (deliberate notions) are well thought out for the short-term and disguised as long-term decisions. They say,” Absolutely, my decision, I can live with this”. Five, Thirteen, Twenty-Five years down the line when the only thing that has seemingly changed is you, are you still gonna say,” you can live with it” and remember why it was you made that statement in the first place.

What do you say? It sounds good, feels good, looks good to be representative of something that is beyond a top-surface. Yet in reality, we all know it takes a little bit more of your entire being to really demonstrate ones actual heart. Doing things with conviction versus having an ulterior motive may be the best gauge you have available to you, so govern yourself accordingly. Don’t do things for reaction or results in this/these instance(s), sometimes it may not be what you expect or want. The balance will come if you are truly putting something of real value into what you hope to convey.  Remember, “You get what you give.”

Posted in How We Relate and tagged , , ,
21 Aug 2013

Howlin At The Moon

My Libra sisters and I are on so many of the same wave lengths it is utterly amazing at times. There are people who discount astrology and I understand. However at our age it kinda gives you that “back to childhood fairy-story type of feel with a steroid shot of real world infused”. Artistic, musically inclined, masters of the written and spoken word; needless to say the hopeless but NOT hapless romantic spirit prevails in each of us.

Last night as I left my favorite grocery store in Georgia, I could not help but admire the large wonderful moon. I used my camera in my phone, but my hands were not as steady as they should be with this article, as I carted a couple of bags hurriedly to my car. Parking lot lights ablaze, I did not get close to the splendor of this beautiful showing.  I started to try again but I had an impediment, so I could not attempt  more photos. There will be other times, other moon showings like this one. Some night the midst of autumn when the cool crispness is in the air again, the heavenly bodies seemingly close enough to touch, but being earthbound all you can do is admire them from afar. I comforted myself with that thought. However, this morning I awoke to find on my facebook page front and center two shots of the moon eight hours earlier and on the opposite coast. IRONY, I thought as I smiled at the two lovely clear shots. I said,” I wonder what she was thinking as she gazed at the moon and felt so compelled to photograph it.” I have to say in reality and did not wonder; I could read her mind loud and clear, obviously she was reading mine. Thanks Tammy!

Posted in One For My Friends, Quickbits and tagged , | Leave a comment
22 Jul 2013
2 Comments

And The Guilt Rests Where?

It comes across my mind many times, on many occasions and in conjunction with certain events, how much we are products of our environments. This not necessarily a bad thing, but truth is we do have to work hard to resist the bad behavior we are often time exposed to.

Being a product of your environment sometimes affords you certain perks that you overlook and never think about, for when it is good we bask in the moment. Yet on the flip side; when denied something you want or feel deserving of and you cannot get, what does one do.

I came face to face with my bad several years ago and I live with it. I was very sad and disappointed to find yet another negative, most recently. Don’t misunderstand here pointing out these two particular instances is not to suggest this is representative of all my faults and shortcomings, this is an illustration and a cross section.

I sat in front of my laptop typing and I didn’t like what I saw. I never would have guessed this and had I not been in the midst of this wrongdoing I myself detest, I probably would have noticed. I didn’t see or pay attention to the signs. Distracted by circumstances I allowed myself to slip into survival mode and that also became my silent excuse for my behavior.

As human beings this is a part of what we do, we adjust and we adapt, it makes it possible for us to continue and thrive. However, sometimes the toll we pay for this survival is costly and I am not just speaking of monetarily. Starting this piece I touched on the benefits we received as being part of a certain environment, now we are exploring the consequence. That is why I used the word “guilt” in opposed to “responsibility” in the title.

My suggestion to solve this is, if you see after a considerable effort that things around you are not changing, you make a change and distance yourself from that undesirable situation. As an adult you cannot help where you come from, but you can chose to extract yourself once you discover you are not happy with the surroundings. If you don’t you will look up and a mirror will be reflecting your image, as that thing you were so unhappy and intolerant of.Then you will know where the guilt rests.

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , , ,

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