hafacenturyncounting

Motivated by a lack of material.

Archive for the month “April, 2025”

19 Apr 2025
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Can Our Friendship Survive The Politics

This is a wonderful person. Funny, kind, logical, resourceful to name a few attributes. We mesh, my friend and me. However, there is something that can come between us and take all of this away. We both know it is true. We tactfully avoid this thing. We do not dance around it; we act as though it does NOT exist. This way we can go along and enjoy the great thing we have found in our friendship. However, it is there, and it will not go away.

Politics and political climate, if I am honest has always been a powder keg. There are times when it is more visible, more volatile, but it is always there waiting on a catalyst. If it goes to my liking, my friend may be quite unhappy and vice versa. Will I celebrate, will I rub it in her face, or will I revel in silent excitement and joy. What will she do faced with the same.

I have to admit there is some real ugliness that fuels my feelings regarding this subject and this particular politician. When I think of and say the things I do, or write what I write, or comment on different entries…then I think of my friend and have to accept I feel like she is a part of those feelings. She is those negative thoughts and comments, because otherwise she would not be on that side. I have to be fair; her political views have to make her say/think the some of the very same things.

How good of a friend can one be if they do not confide or feel free to discuss any and all things? Avoidance is not a building block for a healthy relationship. Sometimes we feel it is necessary to spare feelings, we take the lead, make ourselves into this self-sacrificing being and tell ourselves, ” It will be better in the long run to spare their feelings”. That is not all there is though. We don’t want to lose any good we have and a good person, a good friendship is difficult to let go of.

As I prepare to meet my friend for another lunch, shopping date, or movie night, I have to check my pulse. I cannot go without taking my political temperature. I do all of this and have to remain cognizant that all the checks and balances may not, will not, cannot prepare for all the possibilities for conflict. I just may not see it coming. Then the answer to the question will begin to be revealed.

Posted in One For My Friends, Quickbits and tagged ,
10 Apr 2025

Love The One You’re With

Now I know my some of my contemporaries recall the title of The Isley Brother’s song. Many probably know most of the lyrics. Although it was released during a time period where dating and love was not as complicated as it is now, there clearly was a need to reflect on one’s love life.

Relationships, dating, interacting … I have loads of time to write about this because I am basically not active in two of the afore mentioned categories. Time gives us opportunity to reflect. When you find yourself in this place make good use of it. “Love The One You’re With” is about self-love. Yes, we spend time making sure things are right for others, but we neglect the one person who we really should not .. ourselves.

Being in the status that affords one the ability to NOT have to punch a time clock, log hours or be at any given place at any given time, WILL spoil you. Things like being on time for appointments and/or events may fall from your priority list. You have to remind yourself, ” Just because I have all the time I need today, does NOT mean the other person or situation does.” The dentist asks what’s a good day for you, you have to figure what day cannot/will not work. Let’s see I am going to wake-up sometime in the morning and then after taking care of basic hygiene… now what? Time joins the list of casualties on your list of ” I’ll get around to it”.

If you are able to have someone else take care of your hair-skin-nails which are metamorphosizing at an extreme rate, what do you do…you go have those services taken care of. On the other hand, if you have decided these maintenance things are no longer necessary because no one is going to SEE you, here is some “food for thought”. YOU SEE YOU! Our perceptions directly affect our reactions. If you see worn out and tired, you will take on the persona of that even if you did not intend to. It will NOT take long before you find yourself existing as you appear. My father used to always quote me this phrase, ” So a man thinketh, so a man shall be.” YOU re worth the time and the effort. YOU matter and that will be what you project when YOU “Love The One You’re With”.

Therefore, self-love is imperative. For your health, for your well-being, and for your life. We cannot hope to be of value to others if we do not first value ourselves. Take time for you, go to the gym, read a book on a subject you are interested in, get a pedicure or better yet try giving yourself one in the comfort of your home. Then you can go out and share some of the positivity you have gained or re-gained, by loving the one you are with…YOU!

Posted in Order of Appearance and tagged , | Leave a comment
07 Apr 2025

Blessed With Longevity, Cursed With Life

As the decades pass, sometimes we sit still and realize what this means. Our time on the planet is no longer measured in increments whose boundaries can be confined to 365 days. We have now accumulated enough of those periods to be placed in another category.

When I started hafacenturyncounting, I was only five decades into my journey. I clearly remember being a child and marveling at, as well as being astonished by someone who was 50 years old! Now the “ncounting ” is taking on a new life with new meaning. Senior days at respective retail stores, AARP membership, social security, and retirement benefits define me. Now I laugh about this at times, now I marvel at this too, and then there are the occasions when the brutality of aging smacks me in the face.

Let me tell you why I laugh. I find it funny and ironic when I speak about “older people” and catch myself because I AM NOW one of the older people. I wonder how this happened and how I could possibly forget or overlook who I am. As close as I can come to an explanation and/or admission is that I do not consciously identify with my group. I don’t look like an “older person“, except the fact that my hair is gray/graying. I could fix that with a wig, or I could color my hair, but I really don’t want to. Alright, so I guess I do possess a characteristic associated with an “older person“.

Now let me tell why I marvel at being a part of the “older people’s group”. I find myself looking at the generation(s) right behind ours and saying or thinking, ” What in the world or Why are they so….” No need to finish the sentence or thought, it is not positive. Yet the marvel and irony come to mind as I remember when my parents’ generation and beyond thought and said the very same things about us.

Then there is facing the brutality of the aging process. I have always been a very healthy person. This has been a good fortune I still possess. I am aware that as the numbers (chronological age) increase the possibility and probability of change in one’s physical self becomes more likely. Yet being spared the reality of pain and discomfort has allowed me to disregard them. Trust me I was reminded how rapidly things like your physical condition can change. I did not like it either.

Overall, one must acknowledge these little irritations and irregularities are a part of the blessing of living longer. Longevity comes at a price. That price can be viewed as small in comparison to the alternative. When that fact comes to the forefront appreciate what is being gifted to you and accept that eventually we all end up at the same destination.

Posted in How We Relate, Uncategorized and tagged , , , | Leave a comment

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