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No….

The scream is from deep within, felt and then possibly it becomes audible. The crying seems endless, because the truth is you could cry for YOUR forever. The feeling of being lost and alone as you stand, sit, lay among others is incomprehensible. The everlasting why plagues you from the moment you are made aware until….

I had just returned from a “spa morning” feeling wonderful with my east coast” sister”MaryJane when  2 of my west coast “sisters” reported in uncertain disbelief Kobe Bryant had died in a helicopter accident, as I grimaced and tried to digest that, Kim then followed up with there is a possibility his daughter(s) was with him as well. Tammy was in tears so emotional so heartfelt. We, my sisters and I, who talk off and on, all day everyday were quietly conveying to one another this would be a day that we COULD not talk.I started several times of calling MaryJane but couldn’t. I could not believe at first then as I researched and listen to them back and forth, I soon realized it was true.  Now I cannot breathe. It then returned, the feeling that randomly, periodically comes over me and I am overcome. THIS was TOO MUCH!

I am from L.A. I was never a basketball fan, but this is not simply about a game, it is NOT about a ball player..this is about a man and his child. He was a man who millions felt like was a brother, a son, a father of their very own. The loss compounded by the loss of his child, Gianna. I MUST ADD, ONLY a parent who has lost a child can fully comprehend this devastation.

As you come away from the fog that your own being comprehends, you think of those who are left behind. His wife, Vanessa… the wife now a widow, the mother without her child, for me there it is again. His other girls without their sister, there it is again. The tightness in my chest is real. I have suffered ALL of the same losses in the very recent past. So in an understated way I am feeling every bit of this pain, again. I am hurting with his FAMILY, the WORLD and the WORLD THAT IS HIS FAMILY. Kobe our brother, our son, our husband, our father. Gianna our “little girl”.

It is a wake up call to us all because this life is NOT promised to any of us. As cliche’ as it may sound or may seem YOU MUST embrace we only have our present moment.  Tomorrow IS NOT promised. Please cherish the moment.