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60

HappyBirthdayToMe. For longer than I can remember, October 4th has signaled my entry into this world. For the times I can remember I have anticipated, been elated, been surprised and yes sometimes disappointed by the arrival of this day.

However, I love October 4th we have a long standing love-affair. We only see one another once a year, but I am still glad to see the day. I am a child of Autumn. Living in the south has brought meaning back to that. The return of the cooler temperatures, the colors of  red and orange and gold and brown fitting together in a harmonious pattern. The fragrances of cinnamon, apples, pumpkins signal the gateway to the holidays is rapidly approaching.

Where does that leave me? When I started this blog a DECADE ago, I did not think about this year. I was dealing what was right in front of me. I told myself, “Well 50 isn’t so bad. I am not in too terrible of shape.” Getting older may NOT be as bad as it appears, in the media or in real life. Truthfully, it was alright. I was approaching retirement, my first grandchild was on her way, and I decided no more rinsing the gray away!

A decade later, hair is as natural as can be no chemical and no color, my granddaughter is on her way to celebrating her first decade of this life and my retirement..well I have CHOSEN NOT to quit work. At least not just yet.

Things I have written about, adjusting, decision making, taking oneself too serious have a different look 10 years later. I can look back 5 years and see an astounding change in what my entire life looks like, I can look back a year and feel the overwhelming affects of  some of those same changes. As I strive to do what I believe will work for me..Living In The Now, I cautiously glance back at what I will leave behind as I navigate through this thing called LIFE. It PAINS me to abandon the familiar, if only for a moment. In my heart I know I will NEVER completely do this but I also know in order to go on, I must separate myself from the past, my past. It is  NOT easy.

Loss and abandonment; ones/things we MUST leave behind, ones/things we have chosen to leave behind. So many changes that it is hard to keep up with and digest. Lets face it if we don’t keep up we become less and less relevant, then we are easier to forget. The OTHERS start to put us in the background because they see us moving in that direction. We slow down LIFE continues at IT’S pace.

60 when thought of in mph is NOT exactly slow; so I am having to remind myself I MUST put forth more effort now, just to keep up. This year when I close my eyes to blow out the candles can you guess what my wish will be?