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I’m With Stupid

Ah the catchy tee shirt slogans of the 70’s. Some genius came up with the idea of telling other people what was on our minds without having to be bold and/or brave enough to actually vocalize it. Furthermore,  if it was offensive you had the built in excuse, it’s just a tee shirt don’t take things so seriously.

“I’m with stupid” holds a special place with me. I consider myself a relatively intelligent person, yet the reason I  feel the way I do about this particular slogan is that I have, on more than one occasion, felt as though the arrow in that slogan should be pointing to me. Somehow, somewhere along the road life has taken me on, I thought I would be making better decisions. I thought I would be wiser than in my youth and while this is all arguable so, I am still wondering why I am still able to manage doing stupid things. Is it that we somehow mistake the fact we have passed a certain chronological phase it places us in a higher intelligence level? The phase does pass  though; people do stop saying, ” They are much to old for that type of behavior”. Now they just think it.

Just as we relate death and age, it takes us a lifetime to realize that age and death have very little to with one another.  A young person dies and the first thing we note is, “______ was so young.”As a side note we never say” It was horribly insensitive of his lungs to give out after filling with water, didn’t they know he was only 14 years old. ” Perhaps this just illustrates that we really do not become smarter/ wiser with age.

Over the years there have been countless films, books, and screenplays about having the magical power to go back in time to re-do this or alter the course of that. I must admit I enjoyed these pieces of entertainment. I did exactly what the writers wanted. I said, “I wonder what I would do if given that opportunity again”. I question my readers, does this ever happen to you? Do you ever wish for that opportunity? Funny thing happened to me very recently though I asked myself, “What if this was the case, what if you were able to go back and get that “do over” with the awareness of what was to come and you ended up doing the exact same things?” It feels like The Twilight Zone to me. Therefore, pardon me while I escort “stupid” to another place.

Feels Good, To Feel Good

How many times can you watch a feel good movie? A movie that restores, if only for a couple of hours your faith in the human spirit.  the magical silver screen lets us escape to the romantic places that may not a part of our real everyday lives. It doesn’t matter if it is a true story like “The Blind Side” or  fiction like “The Karate Kid”.  Sometimes it’s the love story- comically growing up,”Can‘t Buy Me Love”; the love story- eternally serious “Wuthering Heights”; or the love story- self revealing and self discovering, “Something New”. Ordinary folk doing something extraordinary, overcoming life’s obstacles. Love that is conquering and triumphant.  These stories always make my heart skip a beat or two and that is great, because at my age it could easily be a health problem.

Our realities make the brief visits to happy places,  longed for and very welcomed. We are such a busy group that we do not take time out to, in fact smell the roses. Come on back with me to a Saturday around noon and the corny theme song to a made up rock and roll group began to play, announcing to all “here they come”. The guys were not more than cartoon characters themselves, doing silly things and getting into trouble, but alas there was always a happy ending. As time went on we got a glimpse of real life musicians who looked more like us, but they were ironically cartoons. We would later find out their existence was far, far away from the happiness and freedom of the cartoon lives portrayed on the television.

Saturdays still means escape to us. The beginning of OUR weekend. The part of the week where we don’t have to do anything that we don’t want to. We can sleep in late, because we made the schedule and we say what is on time. We don’t have any classes, so we don’t have to make sure homework was done the night before. We don’t even have to get dressed. This part of the week is ours to design and shape the way we want it to be.

It is short lived though. We sometimes feel sad, anxious, frustrated before it begins. Why can’t we have more time with our beloved weekend.

Here is a parting thought. Smile with me as we revisit the very first time you fell in love; mind you this is the love that only happens once in your life, because never again will you have the innocent heart required for this particular feeling of love. Loving someone and being in love are two very different experiences. Remember, if he or she went to school with you, you couldn’t wait to get to school to see that wonderful, special, incredibly good-looking being. The mere thought of them made your heart feel funny; be it skipping a beat or racing, it wasn’t acting or feeling normal. This fabulous unproductive time in your life, had you peeking from behind an obstacle or staring aimlessly into space. My theory is, though wonderful tributes of song and literature have been borne of this experience, it is not while the individuals were in the grasp of the experience. I can’t imagine how they could do anything, but be captivated by the source of their affection. It feels like an eternity and a heartbeat simultaneously. SLAP! In your life outside of being in love; not sleeping, not eating, thinking of only one thing would make you a physical and mental wreck. Another SLAP back to the feel good place. I have to end this on happy.  Search and figure out a way to carry that springtime, take-your-breathe-away feeling with you, at least for a little while everyday.

Fairy Tales with Phosphorus

“And they lived happily ever after”….  You guessed it this is about relationships or at least ideas about relationships. My parents were married until the day my father passed away. I NEVER witnessed an argument or even  a cross word between them. It is no surprise, at least to me, that I married my “dream” the love of my life. I had a picture of what an ideal relationship would be and I got just what I asked for.  My siblings have had mixed results. My closest friend were products of , if I can steal a boxing term, “split decisions”. Now I could try to sell you on how exposure to certain relationships make you predestined to that type of relationship and that would be based solely on my experience.  Then I would have to explain the sibs, thus poking a hole in the theory.

I once heard “you have the exact love life you want”. That sounds reasonable, if you are happy. What if you aren’t? Why on Earth would someone want a relationship that isn’t perfect? Did you ever ask for something you thought you wanted, and then once you got it changed your mind. Now could you  have seen yourself with an obsessive, jealous individual. Of course not, but what about someone who is zealously attentive or someone who cannot get you out of their mind. Chew on that for a bit.

We grew up in the midst of a divorce rate that reached the 50% mark, but in the back of our minds we could clearly recall folks whispering about a marriage breaking up. The “D” word became as common as bacon and eggs yet as taboo as devil worshiping, and we were stuck in the middle wondering how we would cope. Remember now, we have the exact love life we want.  I submit this to you; we are always running, running away from or running toward something. Maybe we need to slow down and walk, or if necessary just simply stop.

Let’s return to the personal place this writer’s history; parents married till death parted them, their children all married.The end result so far 1 divorced, 3 still married, 1 admittedly with the exact love life they wanted. To be continued….

Here’s a test to see if you are paying attention; can you tell if this writer is happy, is this piece a promotion, bashing, or warning for marriage. You have to read me closely.

Finally, my “happily ever after” couple tribute. They have been a couple since high school; they are parents and grandparents, apparently he is still her football star and she is still his beauty queen. The thought of them makes me smile. I am thrilled to say I know them now, and I knew them when.