Not As An Afterthought
“I was just thinking about you… ” The Big Lie; Maybe the thought was,” let me get you out of the way”. As days go by you don’t make contact and neither does the other party. The more time that passses the harder it is to return to the place the two of you last occupied. Whether it be old relationships and connections or new budding friendships searching for definition, ALL require investing time and effort. Anything less is not worthy.
The time; in our fast paced world the need for immediacy is understated but overly expected. We impatiently wait in lines for the wants and need of life and often become annoyed that others are ahead of us needing and/or wanting the same things we do. We are not quiet with our disdain either. The individual charged with helping to provide us with the desired object will meet with sighs, dirty looks and even verbalized disappointment.
Now translate those factor into this current discussion….your established relationship is moving on, changes have taken place. These are noticable and expected changes,but there is a thought process that believes/needs to believe that your relationship will have minimal if any affect. You have history together. You must remember your history placed circumstance and individual in different positions and roles. Your current situation calls for switching up.
In the newer fledgling relationship a comfort level MUST be established. From that comfort level trust will be borne. However, we have to bear in mind, we don’t know one another. We may not have had a chance to discuss our true wants and needs. The discussion of “deal breaker” has NOT come up. Yet, these uncharted waters still exist, just the same.
There we have it, so much anticipating, so much second guessing, so much left to our own devices. Effort enters the room.. how important are these relationships we are skating over? I believe each in their own right ARE equally inportant. The old established give you a sense of who you are, where you have been, some of the things that make you work. The new explores the possibilities, what you are curious about, what direction your are going in and who you are evolving into. Neither can be taken lightly.
If you find yourself feeling dismissed or being dismissive, STOP and take time to look at and evaluate what is going on. If you decide against doing this you have already decided what your answer is and the path your relationship(s) take.