Why Ask Why?
Years ago I was pondering something my son had done that was wrong. He knew better, he certainly had been taught better, yet he did the wrong thing anyway. In a metaphoric sense I stepped back to look at the situation and realized it did not matter why, the fact was he did it and I had to make a decision about how I felt and then act accordingly. The question of “why” never came up. This vague description of an incident is intended for one thing and that is to illustrate how we place a great deal of stock onto one aspect of things in order to allow us to ignore what is really important.
In an argument mean words are exchanged, when the smoke clears later one participants says, “why did you say ____ to me?” The other party does not respond the way the first individual thinks is acceptable. The discussion lingers on and on. Finally both are tapped out and nothing is resolved. The question “why” still lingers in the mind of the one. The other could not or would not provide a satisfactory answer. What really got solved here?
Why is a great question for one to gain insight to a technical or mechanical question, but when it comes to matters involving emotion and feelings well your answer is only going to be as clear as the person you ask it of decides they want to be.
Next time you consider asking an individual “why” on a personal note, realize the answer of “I don’t know” or even silence may be all they truly have. Also take into account you may not really want to know or perhaps you already do.
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