Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop
I should have known better. I should have seen this coming. Tell me the one thing you hope no one ever says or thinks about you. When you find yourself faced with that very thing, that very thought, what do you do. Will you let pride and ego drag you down the path of destruction of sorts?
Sometimes you get blindsided. I asked myself the question, I told myself, for the most part, I do not care what people think about me. I also realize on some levels that is NOT true. I am confrontational, I am judgmental, I am also respectful and exercise tact. I kept hearing over and over again how there was no need to worry about me, because I will be alright. She can/will handle it. As time went on, I wondered if that was/those assessment were because that is truly how I am viewed/seen/perceived or was this a way of getting folks that I may have turned to off the hook.
Making it your business NOT to say or do things for reaction in your personal life is far different than what you have been taught to do in your business life. Yet the two worlds entwine and intermingle.
You find yourself in a place of insignificance and disregard. It does NOT feel good. Individuals that once turned to you for advice and assistance, do not notice it has been several days since they communicated with you. When they do communicate, they do NOT take time to hear or listen to you. At first you may not even notice this is happening. Then as time goes on and it occurs more and more, what do you do? Do you approach it and try to identify where the break has manifested, or do you ignore it and hope the other individual has a revelation/comes to their senses and makes everything right?
In your work world you exercise tact and operate in a place that gives individuals the benefit of the doubt. If they do not respond the solution can be a simple discussion or as drastic as them losing their job. However, unlike in your personal life, the cards are placed on the table.
I was much better at this when I was younger, but now with a panic attack under my belt I am realizing I must care for me. I cannot let things happen. I cannot wait for the other shoe to drop.
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