On And On
Have you ever had a conversation with someone who tries to out talk you? You know the type; constant interruptions or the loud overbearing volume and tone of their voice. It can be to say the least annoying. Now let’s approach this from another angle. Have you ever found yourself going on about a subject that the other person you are speaking with “says” they understand?
I am reminded of the illustrious James Brown and a song he did called “Talkin Loud and Sayin Nothing”. The example I gave before truly fit the bill in one way or another. People will often ask for something that they truly do not want; OPINION. All people like this want is to have a captive audience, which will give the appearance of conversation.
I have been told on more occasion than one, that I have a tendency to be redundant, by someone close to me. Well I tell you was insulted, I was angry, and I felt rebellion and contempt toward this special person for saying that to me. However, as I thought back, I realized that there could be a bit of validity to what was said. Although, I still did not appreciate what was being said. I felt that if I was actually being heard, there would not be a need for me to repeat myself or go “on and on”. This flawed method was unintentional on my part. Yet to the avail of my counterpart mission accomplished; I was silenced of sorts, if not that at least stifled.
Now I was reluctant to voice my opinion and often said nothing at all. This gave “free-run” to my accuser. Sheer stubbornness would not allow me to say a word when inside I was screaming with opinion. Now all I have to offer on most occasions is, “I don’t know, what do you think?” Does this fix things, not really. However, I do not have to engage with someone who only wants to hear their own voice.
Conversation is a very delicate and complicated thing. Many people think of it as simply vocalizing and this is clearly visible in their conversations. There are steps that must be taken to have a successful meaningful conversation, the first being the willingness to listen. You will not often run into someone that lacks understanding, what you find more often than not is the unwillingness to allow another point of view to be expressed.
A big void exists in relationships when interested parties cannot communicate. It doesn’t matter in the long run if it is inability or simply bullheadedness, the end result will be the same. In your communication ventures should you run across the “on and on” dilemma, take a moment and dissect the situation. Find out who you are, the one who goes “on and on” or are you the one who is pointing the finger.
I cannot give you an answer, for my stubborn solution is not a successful one. I do know there has to be a better way; to the perpetrator really try to listen, and to the finger-pointer maybe try visuals, flash cards, sign language. Perhaps somewhere in-between the participating parties will discover what they are really saying to one another, or at least make an honest effort in that direction.
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