When my husband decided that our youngest son should be/would be an attorney, I questioned it. I was happy because I love law and would have been thrilled IF HE decided HE wanted to be an attorney, and not simply going along with the desires of his father. However, that was not the case. As a young adult who had his own mind and intentions, he also respected his father and did NOT want to disappoint him so in early stages of higher education he allowed his father to chase HIS dream vicariously. I watched our son do things and pursue things that did not go along with someone who was interested in the legal profession on any level. He was artistic and showed interests in that area. Finally, he grew confident enough in his choices and revealed them to his dad, who accepted his decisions. Not only was our son pleasantly surprised, so was I.
Fast forward, my granddaughter the “Ninja Ballerina” not trying to sound like a typical “stage mom” she is a very talented child even gifted. She unlike her proud Abuela takes her accomplishments in stride. However, hard as I try, I still find myself imagining her as a Prima Ballerina/TaeKwonDo Grand Master IN ADDITION to whatever other career SHE chooses..Magnanimous of me right? Remember SHE takes her accomplishments in stride. I reluctantly had to come to grips with her nearly falling asleep at performances of Alvin Ailey or The Nutcracker..I tried so hard to ignore these signs. As she enjoyed being a Black Belt and now charged with instructing the lower level students, she seemed wary and impatient that they did NOT instantly progress as she thought they should. Maybe it is inexperience, maybe it is immaturity, maybe she just does not want to do either of these two things I helped direct and expose her to… So now I also had to face perhaps I was doing a bit of vicarious living, as my late husband did with our late son.
I, now alone, NEED dreams. Although, I do not dream; at least to the point where I can remember them. So what is a dream? What is it to dream and how do you feel when you lose the ability to have these very valuable tools of our very special brains?
Dreamers, they are the artists and architects of the beauty of our world in many, many ways. While we all may NOT possess the ability to affect our environment at the level they do, we do have an affect. When we lose that gift of dreaming our value, our purpose begins to move away from our very grasp. Those dreams, those subconscious images that invade our spaces while we are helplessly sleeping, are images of desires and hope we have in our conscious state. Sometimes it is easy to dismiss these very dreams because it has been said, “if you can dream it, it can be done” implying the dream is less important than the final product. Thus the explanation of how folks sometimes grow weary of a dreamer, because the thought pattern is… stop dreamin and start doin. Is the dream stage is a waste of time? No it is not.
Consider this, losing the ability of dreaming is a crippling event. I read of a conquering army explaining why they killed their enslaved and former enemies children. The statement was “You kill their children or when you kill their children you kill their dreams”. In short saying the conquerors were giving them no need, desire, or ability to make any moves on their own. They are now only “shells” that basically become tools which can be manipulated and used until they are no more. I understand and can relate to that thinking because of my loss of my child.. the challenges and phases are many but when you are in the dark places it is when you feel that overwhelming loss ; loss of presence, loss of hope… loss of the dreams.
We do not control dreams but as I have come to know we can resist and fight sleep, it is just as possible for us to fight the ability to dream. That I say relax, go to sleep and allow yourself to dream. Dreaming is good for us, if it only provides us with a short organic escape from our reality.